Disclaimer: I donít own Gundam Wing; the many respective owners do. This story is not for profit as I have yet to see a check addressed to me in the mail.

Pairings: 2x1x2, 3x4. Nominal mentions of 3+1 and 5+1, some tangle of 5, 6 and 13.
Warnings: None really; there may be a lemon chapter at the end, which isn't central to the story. Other than that, a first try at present tense narrative.
Author's Notes: Long time away from writing, so expect some rustiness. Other than that, the plots is a little cliched, but I think it's fun.

Summary: Duo tries to find Heero's Mr. Right, with unexpected results.

Blind Date
Chapter 1 - The Deal
by syrupjunkie

"You never date," Duo says, giving Heero a quick concerned glance before returning his attention to the television. "It's not normal. You're gonna end up a scary loner holed up in some mountain shack, making mail bombs or something."

"Hn," Heero responds, barely even aware of Duo's comment.

"I really mean it," Duo says out of the blue, during the next commercial break some ten or fifteen minutes later. Seeing as how Heero has no clue what he's talking about, Duo snags the remote off the coffee table and switches the TV off. "You need to go out and meet people. Have you ever even gone out on a date before?"

Heero rolls his eyes with irritation, eying the remote strategically and the TV with some fair amount of longing. "And why are you interested in my love life so suddenly?"

"Cause it's so pathetic it's bringing me down, man. Remember last week at the club when that girl tried to talk you up all night, and you just sat there making yes/no replies and grunting? It was so sad I couldn't even get in the mood to pick up some ass. So-hey!" Barely managing to snatch the remote away from Heero's intrepid grab attempt, Duo stuffs the remote into his pants pocket. "Nuh-uh, Heero. No TV till we get to the bottom of this. As I was saying, I normally wouldn't interfere with your love life, or lack therof, but when it prevents me from getting some, then we have an emergency situation."

Heero, whose glare has gotten progressively deeper, just sighs and crosses his arms over his chest. "What business is it yours?"

Duo also sighs, because Heero may have a 4.0 GPA, but clearly not in the listening department. "Cause it's ruining my love life, Heero. Now I think our best plan of attack is to get you all dolled up, take you out to a bar this Friday and hook you up. You won't believe how good you'll feel after an orgasm or two. Sound good?"

"No," Heero says, somewhat red, in part embarrassment but mostly in annoyance. "I don't need your help. I'm fine the way I am."

"No you're not. That's loser hermit talk, Hee-man. Come on, let me help you. I bet you I can find you someone you'll like."

"No. Just drop it."

"Come on, Heero," Duo pleads, desperate to convince Heero before he figures out that the TV can be turned on by hand. "Listen, how about we make a real bet. I'll find you three dates. You go out with them once and if you don't want to see any of them again, I'lll... um... do all your homework for the rest of the semester."

This at least brings some humor to Heero's face. "I'd like to pass my classes, thanks."

"You wound me, man. Fine, if I lose the bet, I'll do you three big favors. Any three favors."

"You'll get Relena to stop stalking me?"

The look on Duo's face is something like swallowing a maggot after it's burrowed through a pile of dog shit. "Alright, you drive a hard bargain, but even that. What have you got to lose, Heero? Really, all I ask is three dates. Just three."

Heero knows deep down that he'll give in because Duo is frighteningly stubborn when he gets notions in his head. But at least, he consoles himself, Relena will be a thing of the past after Duo finds that there really are limits to his cunning. "Fine. Three dates. And you've got two weeks."

"Two weeks? Are you shitting me? A month, at least; it takes time to find love, you know," Duo wheedles.

"Two weeks."

"How about three, okay? We'll compromise. Gimme three weeks." The amusement in Heero's eyes only grows; it now covers almost two percent of his face. But there is also Heero's famous obstinacy, and Duo decides that already winning one battle pretty much maxed out his Heero credit for the day. "Fine, I give up. Two weeks it is. But you remember this hard bargain when you're enjoying unconditional companionship and fabulous sex."

"Hn," Heero replies, still distracted by ways to wrestle the remote away from Duo.

"So... where to start? Hmm... How about you tell what you're looking for."

"The remote. It's in your pocket."

Duo rolls his eyes heavenward. "No, you dumb-dumb. What kind of person are you looking for? What do you like?" Heero just shrugs. "Okay, pulling teeth it is. Question one: Girls or boys?" The silence balloons and Heero's answer is a flush. "Come on, Heero. It's not that hard of a question. You like cocks or tits? Or both. I can't help you if you don't tell me."

The silence is almost strained before Heero replies, under his breath, face aglow. "... Men... "

Duo just laughs. "Ha, I thought so. You're always glaring at girls when they flirt with you." The good natured teasing just makes Heero tenser, which Duo belatedly notices. "Hey, come on, it's not such a big deal, Heero. It's okay to be gay. Hey I'm fond of cocks too. Well, tits too, but same difference right?" Duo lays a companionable arm across Heero's rigid shoulders and leans conspiratorially close. "So, tell me all about your perfect guy. Blond, brunette, blue raspberry?"

"I don't know," Heero shrugs.

"Alright. Well, tall or short?" Silence. "Fine, let's try personality. Serious or wild? Quiet or loud?" Again, silence. "No preference, huh? You're not making this easy, man, you know?"

"Hn." Heero is almost smug about his unresponsiveness.

"Fine," Duo huffs, getting just a little bit annoyed. "I'll just call up Quatre, and set up all three dates with him, shall I?" This gets Heero to become much more serious, and a touch afraid. "We both know how long he's been waiting to get his horny little hands all over you." Heero pales even more and begins to fidget uncomfortably in his seat. "So, you think you're ready to cooperate, huh? We'll make this really simple - just tell me three things you want. Personality traits, physical appearance, anything."

"I don't know," Heero says evasively, but stops short as he sees the total lack of humor in Duo's face, and the looming prospect of Quatre's hands. "I don't think about it much. Maybe serious, quiet... tall?"

"Just like you huh? Well," Duo amends as he sweeps up and down Heero's characteristic Asian five-eight sitting form, "maybe not `tall'. Anyway, it's at least a start. Just leave it up to me, my man."

"Right," Heero says with neither confidence nor enthusiasm.

"Have some faith in me, man. Two weeks from now, you'll be too busy making out and licking all sorts of ice cream toppings off of some hot guy to be so cynical."

"Hn," Heero replies as he gets up to turn on the TV manually.

on to chapter 2

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