DISCLAIMER: Gundam Wing belongs to a rich corporation that I am not a part of, regrettably. The song, Walking On A Thin Line, belongs to Huey Lewis.

Pairing: 1X2
Rating: R - scenes of graphic violence - read at your own discretion
Warnings: Angst, dark, shounen-ai

Notes: Hey folks, guess what? It's my very first song fic!! Yay me! I've listened to Huey Lewis for a very long time, but this was the first time I played this song after becoming a Gundam Wing fan, and I was struck by how much the lyrics suited both Duo and Heero. Wowsers!

Walking on a Thin Line


//Sometimes in my bed at night//

Duo lay still, on his back staring up the ceiling. Yet another nightmare had just torn him away from sleep, faint remnants of terror still gripping his numb body. Sweat glistens off his skin but he makes no move to wipe the salty moisture out of his eyes. His mind faintly asked whether it was sweat...or tears...

//I curse the dark and pray for the light//

One cobalt blue eye opens and watches, half-lidded, concern pouring forth. Duo slowly turns his head to see if he woke his roommate and the eye swiftly shuts.

//And sometimes the light's no consolation.//

Disappointment mixes with relief and Duo sinks back into his pillow, a sigh escaping his lips as he tries to get a few more hours sleep before their morning classes.

//Bogged in by the memory//

Duo's trapped within the confines of his memories. He watches a maniacal version of himself slaughter a field of OZ mobile suits in a matter of seconds. Hot, searing blood bathes the landscape, drenching the Shinigami pilot but he can only watch as his twisted doppleganger sets his sights on his new target.

//Afraid of what it might do to me//

A faded sign swings on old, rusty hinges. If you peer closely, one can make out the words MAXWELL CHURCH in half-scraped away letters. Duo watches as the sign suddenly becomes newer, lights go on in the church. He can hear the soothing baritone voice of Father Maxwell giving thanks for the meal they are about to eat. Sister Helen laughs, a melodious sound. Duo catches sight of something moving and turns his head. His evil twin is slowly marching towards the church. All Duo can do is scream, a soundless cry of anguish that fails to warn the occupants of the church.

//And the tears and the sweat, only mark my, desperation.//

Duo snaps awake as his alarm clock goes off, the strangled howl of rage stuck in his throat. A discreet cough alerts him to the fact that his roommate is awake, and he immediately wipes the look of anguish off his face.

//Don't you know me, I'm the boy next door?//



Heero brushes by Duo, giving him a casual glance before heading into the bathroom. Duo sits back and bites his lip at the apparent callousness.

//The one you thought so easy to ignore//

Duo and Heero join the other pilots for breakfast. Duo is laughing and whooping it up for all he's worth. Quatre, Trowa, even Wufei all give in to his infectious nature. Heero merely watches, observing all the braided pilot does, knowing that Duo is unaware that he knows what lies beyond that joker's fašade...

//Is that what I was fighting for...//

All day during classes, Heero and Duo listen to their classmates condemming the actions of the Gundam pilots, blaming them for the continuation of the war.

//Walking on a thin line
Straight off the frontline
Labled as freaks, loose on the streets
Of the city//

The pilots pack their things in their rooms. It's time to leave, off to another school where they will have to make temporary new friends, destroy another base, and then leave under the cover of darkness, forever tied to each other because there is no one else. No one who will understand them, why they fight, why they must be the creators of orphans and widows with each new day, why they can never have a normal childhood, why they can never make any real friends knowing they might be murdering their new friend's family members the next day.

//Walking on thin line

Angry all the time

Take a look at my face

See what it's doing to me//

Duo and Heero drop their stuff on their beds in their dorm room. The fourth new room they've had in just under two months. They exchange a look, both pairs of eyes showing a weariness and pain beyond their years. Duo shrugs and slumps onto his bed. Heero follows suit, closing his eyes in anticipation of his nightly dreams of repentance.

//Taught me how to shoot to kill//

Heero sees his guardian/mentor Odin Lowe handing him a hand gun at the tender age of five, teaching him the basics of shooting, on animals. The sight and sounds of the dying animals make young Heero sick to his stomach. Odin smacks him for showing weakness.

//A specialist with a deadly skill//

Heero watches with cool indifference as the building explodes. His first mission is a success. Turning, he walks away, careful not to draw attention to himself. A faint flash of color catches his eye.

//A skill I needed to have, to be a survivor//

It's a piece of fabric from the dress of the little girl he met earlier that day during his preliminary scout of the building. An innocent. Raising his eyes sharply, he catches sight of the burning corpse of the little girl's puppy. His hands pick up the fabric almost reverently, hands shaking. He puts it with the flower she gave him, in the pocket of his jacket.

//It's okay now, so to say//

Dr. J congratulates him on a job well done. Heero maintains his emotionless mask, but when the Dr turns away, he slips a hand into the pocket of his windbreaker and gently touches the piece of fabric. A shudder goes through him, but he forces it away, turning his emotions off and letting his mind and body go numb.

//Well, sometimes, it don't work out that way//

It's Heeros turn to jolt awake, the blanket twisted to shreds in his strong hands. He looks sharply at Duo's bed but the braided pilot is in the midst of his own nightmare. Two of a kind. Heero draws his knees up andburies his head in his arms.

//'Cause you're never the same when you've been under fire//

Heero reaches under his pillow and touches his gun reassuringly, his solid weight and silent deadliness giving him comfort.

//Don't you know, I'm the boy next door?//

Heero listens to a strangled whimper emerge from Duo's throat. He raises his head from his arms to see the Shinigami pilot curled into the fetal position, hands turned to claws, digging at the sheets, ripping long jagged tears in them from the strength given him by nightmares.

//The one you thought so easy to ignore//

Heero finds he can't go back to sleep. He also finds that he can't stand seeing Duo locked into a nightmare that obviously rivaled his own.

//Is that what I was fighting for....//

Heero throws back the comforters and walks over to Duo's bed. He gently shakes the pilot, trying to wake him. Duo comes awake with a scream, violet-eyes horribly blank and haunted. Heero blinks at the look of despair and feels it echo within himself.

//Walking on a thin line
Straight off the frontline//



(FLASHBACK)

Duo and Heero race through the OZ facility. Duo taps his pocket briskly, reaffirming the presence of the disks they risked so much for to get, and the two of them listen to the footsteps of approaching soldiers.

//Labled as freaks, loose on the streets Of the city//

Guns fire, flashes of flames spurting out of automatic weapons. Taking cover, Duo spies a fuel tank near a large congregation of soldiers and indicates his plan of action. Heero covers him, firing on a man who managed to sneak up on them. Heero watches as the man's head literally dissolves from the close-range fire and falls at the Perfect Soldier's feet. A picture slips out of the dead man's pocket and Heero numbly leans down to pick it up with trembling fingers. The picture shows the man with his arm around his smiling wife, their children in the front, playing at daddy's feet. Heero's face shows no emotion. He rips the photo in half.

//Walking on thin line
Angry all the time//

Duo screams with primal rage and intensity as he empties his gun into the fuel tank, watching with ghoulish glee as it erupts in a ball of flame. The nearest OZ soldiers are vaporized instantly, others being flung into the air by the explosion. His scream of triumph is cut short as a man lands near him, body burning, a look of terror in his pain-maddened eyes. His screams freeze Duo where he stands, the smell of burning flesh searing his nostrils. He can only watch, wide-eyed, as the man dies slowly in front of him. A hand grabs his arm and he whirls around to see Heero standing there. They both make a break for the exit.

//Take a look at my face See what it's done to me.//

Duo watches Heero's face in his monitor. The Perfect Soldier's knuckles are white around the controls of his Gundam, his eyes seemingly oblivious to the destruction they've just caused.

Heero watches Duo out of the corner of his eye, noting the feverish brightness in his eyes, the crazed look on his face.

(END FLASHBACK)



//Don't you know me, I'm the boy next door//

Duo stares up at his partner, his heart in his throat, ready to bolt. Heero suddenly loses all his energy and sinks to the floor beside Duo.

//The one you thought so easy to ignore//

Duo can read the silent signs that scream 'nightmare' better then anyone. The wildness leaves his eyes and he slides out of bed on to the floor next to him.

//Is that what I was fighting for?//

Giving in to the pain, Heero breaks down in Duo's arms. Duo matches him, tears streaming down his face. They were both forced to grow up too soon. Still children themselves, they were were shouldered with burdens no one, especially children, could ever hope to cope with. The two huddle there, mourning the loss of their childhood, weeping tears of pain for all the families they've torn apart for the sake of the mission.

//No//

Morning light falls on two sleeping figures curled together on Duo's bed, flopped together like a couple of puppies. Wakening, violet eyes meet cobalt blue.

//Walking on a thin line//

It's another day.

owari

back to fiction

back to stormy fiction


back home