Disclaimer: Not mine. Blah blah

Pairings/Characters: 1+2
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1749
Warnings/kinks: a bit less silly than the others

Notes: Continued from "Alternate Coping Strategies" Written for gw500. Most definitely not beta'ed - RL's been kicking my ass, so this has no polish, not editing (yikes! First draft!), but I wanted to get it out. It feels terribly unfinished. Shall stop blathering now.

Driving Hazards
by Stacy

Duo had both hands on the steering wheel and frowned at the long, dark road ahead of him, evidently ignoring the wind whipping at his hair. Heero stole another look at his partner; the top was down on the car and the moonlight bright enough that he could clearly see the expression on Duo's face. Duo could not be described as having mood swings, being generally even tempered, but today had seen his mood change from cheerful in the afternoon, thoughtful over the pizza Wufei deigned to feed them after slaving over his car, pensive as he drank beer after the pizza, and now determined as he drove them back to the city. Occasionally he'd shake his head or tap his fingers on the steering wheel, but had been silent otherwise. Heero was slightly nervous; he didn't know what Duo was planning, but he was familiar enough with the signs to know Duo was planning something. He grimaced. He hoped it wasn't anything to do with his behavior this afternoon.

It was late enough that the long stretch of road between the suburb where Wufei lived and the outskirts of the city was deserted. They had passed a single car as they turned onto the road, but now the road was theirs alone. The overhanging trees that lined each side of the road created the illusion that they were a hundred miles away from the noisy city instead of just driving through this small tract of uninhabited land that had so far escaped the developer's notice. Usually, this stretch of the drive was filled with easy conversation, jokes about Wufei's suburban existence, talk about driving to somewhere the light pollution wasn't so bad, how best to avoid Sally on a Monday morning. Tonight, though, it was a silent drive as Duo appeared to grapple with whatever issue had been growing on him all afternoon. The silence coupled with the moonlit road was somewhat eerie and reminded Heero of one of those bad old horror movies that were Quatre's secret vice. He smiled faintly. Well, one of Quatre's secret vices.

The lack of conversation was getting oppressive, even for him. "So. Everything OK?" He winced. Damned smooth, Yuy. "You've been quiet." Ah, even better.

Duo took his eyes off the road long enough to give him a measured look and gripped the steering wheel even tighter. Oh shit, Heero thought, I'm busted. Duo looked back at the road and after a long pause, he asked, "Have I done anything particularly stupid lately?"

Heero blinked. "Stupid?" He repeated, mystified. Duo generally wasn't too self-analytical, at least in the car. And he never asked questions in a tone of voice that was reserved for inquiries like "Does this make me look fat?" "No. Not that I've noticed. Why?" He heaved an internal sigh of relief. Indiscretions during the sunscreen application had evidently gone unnoticed.

Duo sighed and relaxed his death grip on the steering wheel to run a hand through his bangs and ticked off a few points. "You've been...preoccupied lately. And the girls won't tell me what was up at the bar a couple of weeks ago. And I overheard Wufei say something tonight..." he trailed off and scowled at the steering wheel, muttering something under his breath about "fucking touchy-feely bullshit."

Uh oh. "Overheard?" he prompted.

"Yeah. I overheard Wufei talking to Trowa. There's a bet and Wufei said 'I want to put twenty bucks on Maxwell.'" He gave Heero a sideways smile. "I know I'm prone to doing stupid shit, but nothing I've done lately comes to mind. Between the way you've been acting and this bet, I figured I must have done something."

Oh yeah. Definitely busted. Heero rubbed his hand over his face and sank lower in his seat. Duo glanced at him, and then gave a self-deprecating laugh as he turned his attention back to the road. "See," he said, "I knew it. I've done something. What gives?"

Time to come clean. Although Heero wasn't entirely sure "clean" was the appropriate word. His hand still over his face, he said, "It isn't what you've done, but more of what you haven't done yet." Nice dodge, Yuy.

It was Duo's turn to be confused. "Haven't done?" This time the look he gave Heero was wary. "Exactly what haven't I done that's wager worthy?"

Time to pay the piper. Pipe. Oh, damn. He tried to keep his voice even. "From what I can gather about the bet, Barton and Chang think that when we sleep together, you'll be topping. Quatre and the gir - oof!" He was thrown forward against his seatbelt as Duo slammed on the brakes. That was going to leave a mark, he thought as he rubbed his shoulder. Not a sound could be heard but the idling of the motor as they sat in the middle of the road. Duo was staring at him, mouth hanging open. His mouth opened and closed a few times as he made strangled noises, then, "But...but!"

Heero said carefully, "I haven't decided where I stand on the issue yet."

"You...Wufei...what..." Duo took a deep breath and regained coherency. "But we're not sleeping together! You're straight!"

"I know." Heero could definitely chalk this up to one of the most surreal conversations he'd had in his life. He dropped his eyes from Duo's incredulous face and looked over his shoulder. No cars coming their way, but that was no guarantee one wouldn't show up. He really didn't want to end this conversation as road kill, especially since he hadn't yet discussed his recent revision of his sexual orientation. "Do you think we might get out of the middle of the road?" Duo's reply was a dazed nod. He pulled over to the side of the road and put the car in park. Heero watched as Duo leaned forward to rest his head against the steering wheel, then banged his forehead gently against the leather a few times.

"What do you mean, you don't know where you stand on the issue, yet?" Duo's voice was muffled as he spoke into the instrument panel.

Heero decided to get straight to the point while Duo was still dazed. "I haven't decided who should top when we sleep together." Perhaps if he went with the assumption they were going to sleep together, potentially embarrassing discussion about establishing a relationship could be avoided. His libido applauded this decisive action.

Duo's laugh had an edge of hysteria to it. "So we'll be sleeping together? Why now? Jeezus, Heero, I've wanted to sleep with you for years!" He turned in his seat and threw his hands in the air. "Remember basic training? Man, I practically threw myself at you! You didn't get it!"

Heero blushed and cleared his throat. "Well, since two to six percent* of the population is homosexual, it seemed reasonable to expect that I was heterosexual..." he stopped speaking because Duo's shoulders were shaking as he laughed silently. He scowled. He had to admit it sounded ridiculous when he said it out loud. He tried again. "Given that Barton and Winner are gay, and that you're bisexual, the statistical probability of me being homosexual-" he was cut off by Duo's snort of laughter.

"Didn't you think about what you're attracted too? Or do statistics make you horny?" Duo wheezed, pounding the seat back. "Oh man, we are fucked up puppies." He leaned his arm against the seat back and propped his head on his hand. "So. As you were saying, we'll be sleeping together. I'm going to have to go with Trowa and Wufei on this one." He grinned at Heero and he smiled back, the tension easing from his shoulders as he realized that Duo wasn't angry with him. In fact, his partner looked a little eager.

Heero snorted and shook his head. "Quatre's the master strategist," he pointed out.

"I've got more experience."

"I'm stronger."

"You don't have any chest hair."

"Neither do you."

"Point. I am taller, though."

"That has nothing to do with it-mph!" Duo's lips on his effectively shut him up. He didn't close his eyes right away, though. He watched his friend's face through half-closed lids, the way the moonlight highlighted the bangs that fell over Duo's forehead and now tickled his face, the way the crease in his forehead smoothed out as his lips moved over Heero's own. Duo deepened this kiss, his tongue sliding wetly against Heero's bottom lip before pushing into his mouth. Heero's eyes slipped closed. Maybe he could reconsider his position. The kiss became more demanding and Duo's hands rose to cup his face, his thumb stroking the skin next to where their lips were joined.

He reluctantly pulled back from the kiss for air, resting his head against Duo's. His partner's eyes were still closed and a slight smile teased his lips. After a long moment they spoke over top of each other. "You can top." "Maybe you can give it a go." Duo laughed and nipped at Heero's bottom lip before his mouth closed over Heero's. Without breaking the kiss, Duo unsnapped his seat belt and started to crawl over the center console to Heero's side of the car. Just as Heero grabbed a fistful of Duo's tshirt and started to pull him over, the blast of an air horn and roar of a semi rumbling past the car startled them both. Duo overbalanced and fell into Heero's lap.


"No shit, ow."

"How much do you weigh, anyway?"

"Can it, Yuy." Duo levered himself off Heero and braced his arms again car door. "Maybe we should continue this somewhere else."

"Maybe we should," Heero replied, gingerly stretching out the leg Duo had landed on. Dammit, he grumbled to himself, two bruises and we haven't really done anything yet. He pushed Duo back over to his side of the car. "Drive. We can talk," he smirked, "at my place." It was good, he decided, to have no shame.

Duo laughed and put his seatbelt back on. "Talk. You're a funny guy."

They drove off, this time in companionable silence. Duo took his hand and raised it to his lips, nipping a knuckle before soothing the bite with a kiss. The looks that Duo sent his way now were full of promise, although he still seemed slightly bemused.

"Just one question," Duo asked.


"You're not going to suddenly recover from sunstroke once we get to your place, right?"

Heero couldn't help it. He laughed.


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