DISCLAIMER: (Borrowed in part from Jay, with her permission) The Gundam Universe of Mobile Suit Gundam Wing is © Sotsu Agency, Sunrise, ANB, and Bandai America, Inc. Characters, places, timeline and other elements of the Gundam Wing series are the property of said organizations, and I do not profess to own them. The original material herein is © the author and not considered public domain. Please don't sue or plagiarize. I'm in a perpetually non-prosperous state and all spare change usually goes into coffee or bags of oats.

WARNINGS: Implied shounen-ai, songfic
LYRIC CREDITS: "Can't Change Me," by Chris Cornell, from the album Euphoria Morning

SUMMARY: Heero tries to convince Relena that he isn't interested.

Can't Change Me
by Shira

She can do anything at all
Have anything she pleases
The power to change what she thinks is wrong
So what could she want with me?

She rubs on me like 30-grit sandpaper. Always in my face. Never leaving me alone. Like a bad disease that I can't shake. Ever since the moment we met when she found me washed ashore near the boarding school, she follows me like a lost puppy. The little rich girl who would soon be queen follows after me relentlessly. I think she is intrigued by me, by my mystery, but she doesn't get it through her thick head that I'm not interested, that all I care about is the mission which I was sent to complete, and if it involves killing her, then so be it. She's decided to take me on as a challenge, and insists that I should lighten up. That she'll get the best of me and I'll like her. Wrong. I like no one, and especially not her.

But wait just one minute here
I can see that she's trying to read me
Suddenly I know

She's really perplexed, can't quite figure me out. I laugh inside, amused at her frustration as I disappear into the night to wreak havoc on the enemy, in total disregard for her existence. Why me? There's got to be ten thousand other guys that a princess could be infatuated with… rich guys, athletes, actors, but NO! She decides she wants the Gundam pilot. Sorry babe. Uh-uh. Your little princess charm isn't working on this one. And I have half a mind to take you up on your words the next time you get in my way and tell me to kill you. I don't want you… don't need you. I don't need anyone. Quit trying to figure me out, because you can't.

She's going to change the world
But she can't change me
No she can't change me

She has the daylight at her command
She gives the night its dreams
She can uncover your darkest fear
And make you forget you feel it

She still hangs over me. But less forcefully right now, since she's been thrown into her position of power so unexpectedly and instantly there are many other things to worry about beside me. For a bit, I know she thought I was dead - I could tell by her reaction when I appeared suddenly at her doorstep in need of sanctuary and of all things, a friend. I know this threw her off. She still wants more than this relationship will ever be, but she tells me in less obvious ways now. And I think I'm a little more tolerant to her. I'm actually starting to like her a bit. As a person. She's good, and others trust her. A born leader I should hope, since now the fate of her kingdom depends on her, and on me to defend and protect her. How ironic!

But wait just one minute more
I can see that she's trying to free me
Suddenly I know

And I can feel from her presence that she still longs for me by the way she looks at me when I pass and when we speak, but I tell her again, nicer this time, that I don't want her. I want to conclude once again by saying that I don't need anybody, but this time I don't. She insists that she'll get me one day… I tell her "I think not."

She's going to change the world
But she can't change me

Suddenly I can see everything that's wrong with me
But what can I do?
I'm the only thing I really have at all

She's finally begun to accept it, I think. But she still loves me, or thinks she does. She still wants me, I know it, but we coexist in a mostly business-like manner now. She still speaks to me with the assumption that one day I'm going to simply wake up out of bed and realize that I've been making a big mistake this whole while, and come running to her.

But wait just one minute here
I can see that she's trying to need me
Suddenly I know...

For that, I pity her, as much as I have the power to pity anyone, which isn't much really, because no matter how hard she tries she cannot, will not replace what I have. What I have become. A perfect soldier? I thought I was. I held her at bay all this time to keep from ruining my record, my sense of mission. Only to let him do what she could not. Try as she might, she can't change me.

She's going to change the world
But she can't change me
No she can't change me


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