It was a routine mission this time — get in, blow up the designated OZ munitions base and head back out without attracting any unwanted attention. I was expecting a solo assignment, but Heero surprised me by showing up pretty much out of the blue. He must've gotten similar orders, from the guy pulling his strings, around the time G contacted me. One minute I was working all on my own, detonating some explosives I'd planted earlier, and the next thing I knew his mobile suit was making short work of the Leos that were assigned to the base. Not that I needed the help, of course.
Before long, it was "mission accomplished" and time to lie low until the area calmed down. I figured I'd return Heero's help by offering to let him hang out with me until it'd be safe to move again. I'd found just the perfect place to hide Deathscythe for a few hours and there was plenty of room for that mobile suit of his, too.
Generally speaking, I'm not a gambling kind of guy, but if you'd asked me right then, I'd have bet the house I plan to grow old in someday that Heero was going to blow my suggestion off completely. Good thing no one was around to take that bet. He accepted my offer without me having to ask him twice. And they say miracles never happen.
We traveled to the nearby limestone quarry I'd scouted out earlier without exchanging a single word. Two guesses whose idea that was. Yeah, I know, it was probably a good idea to maintain radio silence, but sometimes it helps to hear a friendly voice after a mission. It's just nice to have someone say that we did what we had to do, and we shouldn't feel guilty about it. I was raised in a Catholic church. We do guilt better than anyone. But Heero seemed determined to play it by the book, so that's what we did.
When we got to the quarry, I headed south and Heero, being the warm and friendly guy he is, went in the opposite direction. No big surprise there. All he said was a curt, "thanks for the help" and off he went, without even saying goodbye. So much for hanging out and getting to know each other better. Or at least, that's what I thought at the time.
My first couple hours in Heero-imposed solitary confinement practically flew by. I spent some time double-checking Deathscythe's weapons systems, running maintenance checks and fixing minor things like that one compartment door that never seems to want to stay completely shut no matter what I do to it. I know I could have tried to catch some sleep — Deathscythe's sensors indicated there weren't any OZ troops actively looking for us — but truth is, I was still really wired from the mission. I'd had way too much adrenaline pumping through my body to be able to relax on command. Most of us don't have that much control of our bodily functions, not like "some" people.
I'd no sooner let that thought into my head when I started to think of other bodily functions that needed taking care of. The kind of things that a guy could do for himself if he had to, but damn it would be more fun with another person. Unfortunately for me, the nearest available warm body was hardly willing to even say "boo" to me, much less help me relieve some of my residual tension. Even if he would answer my call, what would I say? I could hardly come out and say, "Hey Heero, you know buddy, you look really hot right after you kick OZ ass. How's about you and Wing Junior come over to my place and show me what your other beam canon is good for." Yeah right, that would get me killed faster than you could spell T-r-e-i-z-e-K-u-s-h-r-e-n-a-d-a.
Then again, nothing ventured, nothing gained, or so the saying goes.
I wasn't reckless enough to think I should actually go and pay Heero a visit in person. In spite of what some people think, I'd never knowingly do anything to jeopardize a mission. Just because I like to joke around a bit doesn't mean I've got a death wish. I'm still a young guy with his whole life ahead of him. Instead I opted for the choice that gave me less of a chance of getting myself killed: I contacted him on the comm unit. Three guesses what Heero's reaction was.
"Hey Duo, I was just about to call you. Nice work on taking out that OZ base." No, that's not what he said...
"Hello sexy. How's about I come over to your place and you can slip into something more comfortable — like my ass." Heh, I wish, but that's not what he said either...
"Duo, it's not safe to be breaking radio silence. I shouldn't have to remind you of that."
Now that's the Heero that I know and love. Well, maybe not love exactly. More like severely lust after. I'm not even going to allow myself to wonder if there's more to it than that, not while there's a war going on and either or both of us could be blown to Kingdom Come on any given day. It's a whole lot easier to let go of something you never really had, than to live the rest of your life missing it. I've known love before. Not quite like this, but it hurts all the same when that special person is gone for good. I won't let myself get hurt like that again. Not even for Heero.
I could tell right away that he was pissed. He gets that cold and deadly edge to his voice like no one else I know. I could just feel his steely glare even though I couldn't see it. He'd responded with voice only. Apparently he was annoyed enough that he didn't even want to see my pretty face. Oh well, his loss. Still, I couldn't let him get away with insulting me, especially when I was damn sure he was being way too cautious in the first place.
I was just about to make a witty reply reminding him that my mobile suit never had to be rescued from the bottom of an ocean, when fate decided to show me that Heero really did know what he was talking about. No sooner had I opened my mouth when Deathscythe's proximity sensor went off.
You'd never get me to admit in a court of law that I panicked, but I certainly did move a hell of a lot faster than normal. I jumped out of my cockpit seat so quickly it's amazing I didn't bang my head on the ceiling. I immediately made sure to turn off every active system within my suit. System diagnostics were shut down, the main computer was put into standby mode and all the interior lights were turned off. Deathscythe was in total stealth mode.
I was feeling pretty damn lucky by the time things settled back down. It turned out that whatever had flown over Deathscythe hadn't noticed me or wasn't interested. Either way works fine for me. I won't run out on a fight, but I'd sure rather avoid one if I can, especially in this case when I wasn't exactly prepared for a battle so soon after my mission at the OZ base. I should have been feeling really good about the way things worked out.
So why did I still feel like an idiot? Well, the answer to that was sitting somewhere just north of me. I'm sure he was gloating about it, too. You'd think that just once he'd recognize and acknowledge my superior piloting skills, my stealth capabilities or the way these weird pants meld tightly to my own firm, round ass. But no, all he seems to be able to do is point out each and every time I screw up. I don't think he's missed one yet. Not that there have been many.
I'm not usually the type of person to yell at anyone else when they make a mistake, but I've been known to verbally beat the crap out of Duo Maxwell when he messes up. Just because I was sitting in my Gundam, in the middle of nowhere, didn't mean I let myself off the hook for my carelessness. I made sure to give myself Hell over what happened, and as usual when I'm by myself, I did it out loud.
It didn't take me long to use up my supply of familiar curse words, so to add a little variety to my self-reproach I started repeating some of the things Heero had said about me in the past. Having him so close by made it very easy to imagine what he'd add if he could hear me. I even managed to get in a few zingers using that nearly monotone voice of his. Normally I'd never even consider doing a thing like that to his face, but damn if imitating Heero in private isn't a lot of fun. Not that I think he'd actually get the joke if I did it in front of him. When it comes to humor, Heero's definitely gotten the short end of the stick.
Damn if that didn't get me musing about Heero's stick. My mind was making weird word associations between being angry at myself and lusting after Heero's package. One minute I was saying "fuck... idiot... asshole..." and the next I was saying "spandex... Heero... fuck..." I'm sure somewhere there's a psychiatrist who would love to have me lying on his comfy leather couch while he takes notes. I'll bet I'd even see Heero Yuy naked in all the ink blots too.
Thinking about Heero in that way made me almost forget why I was so mad at myself in the first place. I started remembering the time not so long ago when we worked together to recover his Gundam from the ocean. A wave of nostalgia must've hit me right about then. I suddenly found myself asking no one in particular, "I wonder what Heero's doing right now?"
It was a rhetorical question.
I'd finally settled into a relaxed state and was trying to take a nap in spite of the fact that I still wasn't very tired. I was just starting to imagine my favorite fantasy — oh yeah, the one where Heero is bending over the seat of his cockpit with his spandex pooled down around his ankles and me, well, I guess it's got to be obvious what I'd be doing. Fantasy me was just reaching out to grab fantasy Heero's hips when I heard it.
It was a low-pitched, mournful sound that was barely above a whisper, but loud enough compared to my surroundings for it to catch my attention. My eyes immediately snapped open and all the blood rushed back to my brain. I became acutely aware of everything going on in Deathscythe that could possibly have made a sound like that. There was nothing. Whatever it was, it wasn't coming from my suit.
I was ready to write off the noise as being a part of my overactive, paranoid imagination when I heard it again. Only this time, it was a little louder. Whatever made that sound must have been getting closer. I tensed up in my chair and held my breath for what seemed like forever, hoping that the next time I heard it I'd be able to pinpoint exactly where it was coming from.
I twisted my head around as soon as I heard it again, following the noise back to its source. It could only have come from one place — Deathscythe's radio. How could I be hearing anything from the radio when it wasn't turned on? I just started to reach out to see if it was malfunctioning when I heard the noise again. I pulled my hand back, fascinated by the sounds I was hearing, and wondered what could have been causing it. The last time I'd been using the radio was when I was talking with Heero.
Heero. It had to be him. No one else knew the frequency we were using. He and I had been talking when Deathscythe's alarm went off. In all the confusion I must have forgotten to turn off my connection completely. I knew my own audio must have been off since Heero hadn't radioed over to tell me to, "Shut up, Duo", during my earlier tirade. So why was it that I could still hear him? Had he left his own comm line open for some reason?
I was just about to ask him when I heard that strange sound again. It was definitely coming from Heero. My first thought was that somehow Heero had been injured and hadn't told me about it before. I've seen him set his own broken bones. It didn't take a very big leap of faith to imagine him treating his own injuries again. But that sound he was making didn't sound like someone in a lot of pain. As a matter of fact, it didn't sound like someone who was in any pain at all.
No, it couldn't be. Could it? You'd think that I'd be able to recognize the sound of a guy doing "that" seeing as how I've done it myself countless times. In my own defense, I've never actually seen or heard anyone else doing it. I've never even paid that much attention to the noises I make when I do it.
It just seemed so strange to think of Heero doing something like that, in his Gundam no less. The way he guards that suit of his you'd think he'd never allow anyone to touch it, let alone do "that" in it. I couldn't even say the proper word for it. Masturbating. Heero Yuy was masturbating inside Wing Gundam and I was sitting in Deathscythe listening to him.
I must have been shot down by OZ back at the base and killed without my realizing it. No freaking way was I sitting here listening to Heero, the guy who'd starred in every one of my wet dreams for the last two months, jerking off in real life. I had to have died and gone to Heaven.
Another low moan brought me out of my reverie. This time the noise sounded different. It was somehow more urgent. I leaned over closer to the radio to see if I could tell how far along he was into it. I know that sounds bad and I should have felt guilty for continuing to listen, but I was starting to feel something else, too. I was getting aroused. I looked down at my lap and saw the start of a noticeable bulge. Listening to Heero masturbating was getting me hard.
I knew I had no business listening. What Heero was doing was private, not for me, and no matter how much I wanted to hear him when he finally came, I just couldn't. I bit down hard on my lower lip — hard enough to make me whimper out loud. I leaned over again, intent on turning the damn radio off once and for all. I would have, if Heero hadn't chosen that very moment to suddenly gasp and groan his pleasure in a combination of sounds I'd never heard myself make.
My hand hesitated as my brain tried to come up with an explanation for what would make Heero make a noise like that. I pictured myself in his place, pants shoved down around my booted ankles and legs spread as wide as possible in Deathscythe's seat. I saw myself as I'd been imagining Heero — running my calloused hand up and down my hard length, cupping the head and pulling roughly. I could hear myself moaning as Heero had, but not gasping.
Unconsciously, I reached up and tugged at my nipples through my shirt. They were acting like good little soldiers, all erect and at attention just like another part of my anatomy. At that very moment, an army of OZ mobile dolls couldn't have pulled me away from what I was hearing. I had to keep listening.
Another moan from Heero and my right hand flew to my crotch, my brain refusing to tell my body to do otherwise. I moaned out loud as I discovered just how hard I'd gotten. I know I've got some serious kinks, but I never suspected that listening to another guy jerk off was one of them. I closed my eyes and stroked myself firmly through my pants. Instead of impeding my pleasure, the rough fabric actually provided extra friction. As I continued to tease myself, I imagined that the hand rubbing me belonged to Heero.
I felt myself sink further down in my chair. I wanted my hand — Heero's hand — to go lower. My balls ached to be touched and I saw no reason to deny them any longer than necessary. I wanted to knead them and feel them roll with my fingers, but I just couldn't get enough sensation through my pants. I think I could have stopped right there, even though it would have meant I'd be frustrated as all Hell, if Heero hadn't chosen that moment to let loose another sharp gasp.
I pulled out my shirt and stuck my hand down my pants in record time. Even Heero's mentor would have been proud. Then again, maybe he wouldn't be if he knew what I fantasized doing with his boy. As good as it had felt to touch myself through my clothes, it was nothing compared to the feeling of flesh on flesh. I was going to cream myself if I didn't slow down.
I willed my hand to move down to the soft skin below my balls, my fingers gently massaging that area. I felt my body relax even as I realized there was only one final place to explore in search of whatever it was that had rocked Heero's world. I both wanted and feared finding out if that one area I'd never dared to explore on my own body could be the source of that much pleasure.
All of the fantasies I've ever had about Heero involved me taking him. In his Gundam, in mine, at the beach, even at the hospital; it was always Heero that was bent over begging me to give it to him harder or slower, depending on my mood. My fantasies, my way. Maybe I wanted the control. Maybe I liked looking at his sexy ass. Or maybe I was just a little bit scared. Can you just imagine the God of Death being scared of a little pain?
A series of low moans punctuated by a few sharp gasps told me what Heero was feeling wasn't pain. It was about as far from it as a guy could get. He had to be close. Not even Heero could stave off a biological reaction like orgasm indefinitely. Hell, I was getting near the point of no return and he'd started way before me.
Deciding that it was now or never for my great adventure into uncharted territory, I pulled my hand back up long enough to give myself a few hard strokes for good luck before literally taking the plunge. I grit my teeth as my fingers traveled back down my groin. I could hear Heero begin to pant heavily in the background, but I tried not to let it distract me.
Slowly I fingered the area I was about to penetrate, saying a silent prayer, thanking whomever was listening that I wasn't feeling like Nature needed to call any time soon. With any luck, all my surprises were going to be pleasant ones. I shut my eyes tightly and took a deep, cleansing breath. I could feel myself sweating in anticipation, both on my brow and down there.
I tried unsuccessfully to suppress my strange sense of humor, but "those about to die salute you" came out of me before my brain had the chance to shut my mouth down. I was just about to start pushing my ring finger inside myself when something stopped me. Heero.
I knew when I heard his moans getting shorter and louder that he was getting much closer. I could almost picture him rocking steadily, his eyes closed and his mouth slightly open. I couldn't tell if he was touching himself deep inside or if he'd gone for the more direct approach. I think I'd have sold my soul at that point just to have seen the exact moment he climaxed.
I'd heard his voice sounding angry, pained and totally annoyed, but I'd never heard it expressing passion. I took that sound — a long, drawn out gasp quickly followed by deep breaths as he rode the wave of his orgasm down to a contented sigh — and I saved it in a part of my memory that no one could ever take away from me. It's now my greatest fantasy to hear that sound again, and to be the one causing it.
For a few brief minutes I just sat in my Gundam with my hand still in my pants but no longer moving. I think part of my brain was still busy replaying what had just happened. Looking down at my lap, I considered finishing myself off. I was so close to coming that it was killing me. It wouldn't have taken much, a few quick pumps at most, but I didn't do it. It didn't feel right any more now that Heero was already finished.
I can talk myself into believing that I'm not in with love Heero, but the fact is that I feel something for him. It's stronger than friendship, and more than just lust for his body. There's respect and admiration tied up into the whole mess of feelings I have for him. That's when the realization finally hit me.
I wanted my first real Heero-induced orgasm to be at his hands. I wanted to feel the best feeling known to man because he took me to that edge and stayed by my side as I plunged over it. Hell, if he asks nicely I might even let him be on top. Now there's fodder for a whole new set of sexual fantasies. What? I didn't say I was giving up pleasuring myself altogether. Not even Heero Yuy has that kind of willpower, or so I've recently heard.
Adjusting myself the best I could given my still excited state, I conjured up thoughts of Howard naked as I pulled my hand from my pants and fixed my clothing until I was presentable again. Not that I was expecting company any time soon. My erection gone, I sat back in Deathscythe's cockpit and considered all that had happened over the last few hours. Yeah, it was probably the best time I'd ever had on a mission. But one thing still bothered me. Making myself comfortable, I mumbled my question as I reached to turn off the radio once and for all.
"I wonder what got Heero all hot and bothered enough to do that?" Sighing, I realized I'd probably never find out.
Elsewhere, another Gundam pilot sat back in his chair and smiled a wry grin as he turned off his own open communication equipment.
"If you only knew, Duo. If you only knew."