You stare at him, from across the wide span of space
separating the two of you. He smiles, and you feel
your heart give a terrible lurch. Breathe, you tell
yourself, all the while making sure nothing is
revealed upon your face. You run a hand through your
hair, suddenly feeling terribly self-conscious. Some
random person approaches him, and as he accepts their
invitation for a dance on the over-populated dance
floor, you feel a strange sensation rack through your
body. Shaking it off, you tear your eyes away from him
and the mass of moving bodies, and stare at the half
consumed drink in front of you.
You take a long gulp of your drink, hardly tasting the
hard liquor as it burns its way down your throat. You
feel someone’s presence behind you, but ignore him or
her, planning to do so for as long as it will take for
them to go away. Your thoughts wander, as they do
sometimes, and they finally settle on the long-haired,
violet eyed male on the dance floor. You think about
him, the way he moved, and laughed, and...
…smiled… and you feel your eyes slide towards the last
direction you saw him in. But he is no longer there,
and you drag your eyes back, feeling a strange
...disappointment? But it is gone, replaced with
another feeling, when you imagine, again, his smile.
Why, you wonder silently, why him? For there was,
indeed, no real reason why that person’s mere presence
should bother you so much. And there was no reason why
he should command such a hold over you, such a...
...longing... something that you hadn’t felt in so
long. Thinking back, you mentally correct yourself.
For bother wasn’t the word for what you were, are,
feeling, since he isn’t a bother at all. He is just
different, that’s all. Different because he makes you
feel, makes you want to feel, something that you
really haven’t had the urge to do since forever.
Strange, also, you think, because he hasn’t done very
much at all, not knowingly, anyhow. All he did was
show up, at the terrible, loud, smoky club that you
always swear never to return to, but end up doing so
…he smiled… leaving you at such odds that you don’t
really know what to do now. Nothing, and no one, has
ever made you feel this way, and since this is such a
new feeling, you can’t seem to pin point what exactly
it is. Maybe, you muse, it doesn’t have a name. Maybe
you are just strange, which is what people have been
telling you your whole life, anyway.
Not that it mattered. Not that anything matters,
anyway, which is what you’ve believed, always
believed. We live, we grow, we die, and in more ways
than one. Strange how you can still remember those
words, spoken so long ago. But now, you had always
believed that you had two pieces of the puzzle, and
you had always been simply waiting for the last piece
to make itself known. Still, however...
You would live for that, perhaps? …Yes, possibly,
The voice startles you and you jump, but only
inwardly, of course. One must always keep control over
ones feelings, or they will control oneself. You want
to laugh at the utter pathetic-ness of your internal
recitation, but the idea of how ridiculous you would
look keeps a tight rein.
A hand slides onto your arm, and slowly, tentatively,
you turn your head around to meet…
And you realise, that your earlier observation was
indeed true, a million times over. For his smile, this
smile… Going through hell and high water didn’t quite
cover it. And he was even more stunning, now, standing
but a few feet away from you.
“Hello,” he says, simply, and you realise that the
sound of his voice is rather nice, too.
He slides into the seat, next to you, and for a while,
you just sort of… look. Not stare, per say, but more
of an… admiration.
You flick your eyes over him, and back up to meet his
eyes. He holds your gaze, and you do the same, all the
while admiring his eyes.
At last his hand moves from its prior place on your
arm and slips into your hand… a sort of… caress.
He looks at you, and it’s like you are sharing a
special secret, one that lies just between the two of
you. And then…
He smiles at you, and then, slowly, you smile back.