Disclaimer: Characters belong to their respective copyright owners, like Sunrise/Sotsu/Bandai. Plot, if you can call it that, belongs to me.

Pairing: Multiple and then some.
Warning: [NC-17] Multiple Pairings. Yaoi. Lemon. Fetish. AU. OOC. X-dressing. Sextoys. Rampant Silliness. Multiple POV. (Ch 4: 2x1. Treize has a proposal for Duo and Zechs is his nice helpful self.)

Note: Yaoi. Lemon Meaning: graphic sex between two (or more) ^_^ guys. Don't like, then don't read.

Good Salesmanship
by Ponderosa
Chapter 4 + Epilogue


"If Duo has no complaints, we'll retire to the eastern patio for the dessert course," Treize said after his bodyguard had stated his intention to go search for Quatre.

"Dessert on the patio sounds good to me," I said.

"I'll show Quatre the way once I've located him," the tall guy said to me and I nodded my thanks.

I followed Treize and Zechs through the house and out onto a small patio. A trickling waterfall to my right made a gentle, soothing sound as it splashed into a shallow pond filled with koi.

"I admit, Mr. Maxwe- Pardon me, Duo," Treize smiled and waved me towards a small table already prepared for us, "I invited you to dinner for a particular reason."

"Oh?" I said, and seated myself in front of a small plate with some fancy looking pastry sitting on it.

Treize pulled out a chair for his lover before he continued. "I was rather impressed that you were able to coerce my bodyguard Heero into purchasing such a large amount of your wares," he said. "Hardly standard business tactics, I admit, yet you were hardly fazed by our abrupt arrival. Now that's the sign of a good businessman."

"What can I say," I shrugged off the compliment and took a bite.

"Your track record at Catalonia Enterprises is quite impressive."

I smiled. "Thank you." What was he getting at? The way the man talked was getting to me.

"Do you feel a company of that size is utilizing your talents to their full potential?"

I was about to answer when Zechs interrupted, "What Treize is trying to get to is, do you want a better job?"

"Doesn't everyone?" I joked. Zechs laughed but Treize just chuckled politely. The guy does everything politely.

"What kind of job exactly? I don't even know what it is you do to pay for all this," I waved my hand in the air.


"I don't even know what it is you do to pay for all this," Duo said and waved his hand around.

I knew my lover was smiling inwardly. Duo was definitely interested in the proposal. A man like him would have just outright declined if he wasn't the least bit inclined to take Treize up on his offer.

"Don't tell me you didn't recognize my surname," Treize said and cut off a small corner of his mille feuille.

The braided man's fork paused for a split second as the information registered, "So you're that Khushrenada."

"I am."

"What's your offer?"

The two launched into serious negotiation. Head of public blah blah this and benefits blah blah that. I wondered where the houseboy was until I remembered that Treize forced Heero to baby-sit him; so it was to my great surprise - and delight - when Wufei suddenly burst through the doors and fell into my lap.

"Eeee!" he squealed and picked himself up off me. What a pity, I liked him bent over my lap like a naughty boy ready to be spanked. I was able to pinch his bottom though as he stood, so that made me feel a little better. Wufei glared and wobbled on one leg; he'd broken a heel.

"What are you doing here? Where is Heero?" Treize asked. I could tell he was upset at Heero, two mistakes in a week; the Japanese boy was just looking to get yelled at. Maybe he was a masochist.

"Oh well I came down to tell you that me and Quatre are best friends now," Wufei smiled and showed off his fingernails. They were painted with the same unique shade of sparkling burgundy I had noticed on the blonde earlier. "Anyway, he won't be down anytime soon, Trowa's busy screwing him in my closet and Heero's not here, cause he's in the bathroom jerking off."

I had the biggest urge to say 'tooooo much in-for-ma-tion', but I didn't for Treize's sake.

"Perhaps we should continue these negotiations when you've had more time to consider my proposition," my lover said and he and Duo stood and shook hands.

They exchanged a few more pleasantries and I stood up to whisper into Treize's ear that if he hadn't forgotten, Quatre was a bit occupied at the moment and wouldn't be ready to leave quite yet.

"If you'd prefer I can have my driver take your friend home, else you're welcome to enjoy the library or visit the portrait room until he is no longer engaged."

"You can't leave without at least going and taking a peek at the portrait room," I said helpfully. "I can almost guarantee you wouldn't be disappointed."

"Sure, why not," said Duo. "Quatre probably won't be that long anyway."

"Down the hall, up the stairs, second door on the left," I subtly nudged Treize with my boot lest he say something. "The door gets stuck, so if it's closed, just twist the handle all the way to the right and then force it a little more. Don't worry, it won't break."


"Give it to me! Give it to me hard!"

Quatre was certainly having a good time tonight, I thought as I passed the first pair of doors along the second floor hallway. Portrait room? What could possibly be so great about a portrait room? I stared at the door and considered foregoing entering in lieu of snooping room by room to search for the bathroom. Then again, Zechs did say I wouldn't be disappointed and I trusted the guy.

'Twist the handle all the way to the right and then force it a little more,' he'd said and so I did and as I pushed open the door I wondered if the cut crystal doorknob was real crystal, it probably was.



Zechs, I love you man.

"Heero..." I closed the bathroom door behind me and let my eyes devour the body I'd been lusting over for days.

We weren't in a bathroom per se, it was a powder room, with both walls covered almost entirely by mirrors; it gave me a lovely view. Heero was sitting on the low counter to my right and the short tight skirt he was wearing was pulled up and bunched his waist.

"You look lovely tonight," I said, eyeing him once more before turning to my own reflection and tucking away a wisp of hair at the nape of my neck.

"What are you doing in here?" said Heero. He tugged his skirt down. It didn't do much to hide his erection, not that I hadn't seen it in its full glory just a moment ago.

"Well, in about five seconds I'm going to be taking that top off of you with my teeth," I said.

He pointed at the door. "No you are not, get out," he growled. It was time to play my trump card.

"If you insist," I held up my hands and shrugged. "I was hoping to finish that product demonstration I was giving you the other day. Your purchases won't be shipped until we've received your payment and I just thought you'd like a taste of the vibrating plugs, so I brought one along." I turned around slowly and was reaching for the doorknob when he gave in. A smug smile spread across my face and I remembered to smooth my expression before I turned back to him.


As I was in the middle of a very nice fantasy involving copious amounts of chocolate syrup, I heard the faint squeal of the doorknob being turned. I glared at the door and was about to yell at Wufei to piss off again, when the latch snicked. Mr. Merquise and Mr. Khushrenada were the only ones who I had informed about the serious lack of security in these fancy new doors and they had no reason to go exploiting it.

I reached behind me for my gun, but it wasn't in its proper place. I had left across the hall. Damn it all. I was about to be caught with my proverbial pants down, in this case however, changing the end of the proverb to 'skirt up' was more appropriate.

Before I could do anything else, the door opened and the God of Sex appeared before my eyes.

"Duo!" his name burst from my lungs before I could stop myself.

"Heero!" said Duo. He grinned and repeated my name with significantly more lust as he closed the door and looked me up and down. The feeling was quite reminiscent of the hungry, predatory look he'd given me the other day.

I was determined not to be easy prey.

"You look lovely tonight," the braided salesman said, skipping his eyes to my exposed groin before looking in the mirror and fooling with his hair.

"What are you doing here?" I asked and tugged my skirt down. The shimmery polyester blend bulged, but there was nothing I could do about that. Such close proximity to a man like Duo guaranteed that my erection wasn't going to go away on its own.

His answer was suitably mischievous and erotic.

I pointed at the door and tried to sound convincing when I told him to get out.

He knew just what to say to that.

It wasn't long before I was bent over the counter and transfixed by the reflection of the man fucking me. The same man I'd been fantasizing about for days, but too...embarrassed? nervous? stupid? to actually pick up the phone and call.


"Let me see it so I know you aren't lying."

I pulled the slim plug out of my pocket as I approached Heero and told him that I might be a salesman, but I was an honest salesman. I never lied.

"Just a brief demonstration," said Heero. I nodded and fished around in my pocket, sorting by touch through the condom foils to produce some sample packets of Liquid Silk. I was not only an honest salesman, I was an honest and well-prepared salesman.

"It's remote controlled," I explained, when he asked about the lack of a cord. He didn't say anything else as I emptied one packet of lubricant onto the plug and told him to bend over.

Heero rested his forearms on the low counter. In most homes, I'd assume the marble was fake, but in this place it was almost guaranteed to be real. I pulled the boy's short skirt up and exposed his rounded cheeks. With his legs spread as they were and the ample lighting in the room, I could clearly see the puckered entrance just waiting to be penetrated.

I squeezed lube from a fresh packet, letting it drop in a cold glob at the top of his cleft and slide its own way down. When the gleaming trail had moved down far enough, I stopped its advance with the tip of the plug and swirled it around a bit before working the toy slowly into Heero's body. The plug went in easily enough and fit snugly.

His body jolted and he started moaning when I turned the dial on the remote. I knew the vibrations weren't very strong, in order for me to carry it around in my pocket without inviting odd looks, I had picked a smaller plug with a subsequently smaller and less powerful vibe. Heero didn't seem to mind. His face was twisted in pleasure and his hips were bucking.

I leaned in close. "You like that, baby?" I purred and gave his earlobe a small nip. He panted. I reached down to touch the base of the plug to angle it downwards. He made a moan that could possibly be categorized as a scream. I had an extraordinary good time varying the speed of the vibe and pushing the plug around to coax even louder sounds from Heero's throat.

"Get that out of me before I come," he groped blindly with one hand, trying to take the remote from me. "I want you to fuck me!"

Now that's what I'd been waiting for. I turned it off and forgive the pun, I pulled the plug.

"Its out. Now take me," Heero demanded.

"Patience grasshopper."

This time I actually undid my pants and shed my boxers before rolling a condom on and lubing up. Not only did I not relish the idea of having lube all over my fly for the second time this week, I wanted Heero's ass to have a few seconds to tighten up again. Last time he'd been so stretched by the dildo that it hadn't taken much effort at all to slide in, and hell, getting in was half the fun. And so, I took my time, holding my cock in one hand and rubbing it around Heero's entrance as he cursed and begged and tried to force himself back against me.

"God yes!" Quatre's muffled scream was joined by a very similar cry as I caught Heero's eyes in the mirror and pushed into him fully.

"You mind if I go a little slower this time?" I asked. He shook his head and I slid my hands under the laced up tanktop he wore to play with his nipples as I fucked him in long leisurely thrusts.

We watched eachother in the mirror, lost in one another's eyes. It was an interesting sensation and gave me something to focus on besides the tight, molten passage that was bringing me inevitably closer to the moment of bliss that I wanted to work towards for hours and yet, couldn't help but crave immediately.

"Bring yourself off," I said and clarified what I meant when Heero reached between his legs.


"Bring yourself off," Duo said. I rested all my weight on one elbow and slid my right arm off the counter.

"So I can watch," he amended and I raised myself to shift the burden of holding myself up from my elbow to my wrist.

When I wrapped my fingers around my cock, Duo's oddly coloured eyes finally broke away from mine and I felt free to let my face contort itself into whatever pleasure dictated.

"Faster," I think I managed to say. My hand kept lapsing into the same slow rhythm that he was thrusting into me and I didn't want to wait long to come.

"Fuck me faster," I groaned as Duo sped up only slightly. "God... Duo... please... faster..."

I think saying that turned him on and I tried it again. I called him by his name and begged for it. It worked, he looped one arm around my waist and hooked the other across my chest to grab my shoulder and use my body for leverage as he pounded into me with increasing speed.

The force increased along with the pace and my teeth were rattling as much as the mirror when I came. Duo's orgasm followed shortly enough after mine that the droplets of my semen had barely begun to smear down the face of the mirror.

His chest pressed heavily against my back as he caught his breath and I felt warm and content despite the edge of the counter digging in to the front of my legs.

"Damn, I could get used to this," he said into my hair. He slid his palms along my sides a few times before pulling out and throwing his head back to suck in a deep breath and expel it as one long satisfied sigh.

"So could I," I heard myself say. Damn my tongue.

Duo grinned. "Good to hear, cause I think I'm going to take your boss up on his offer."

"His offer?"

"Yeah, he wants me to work for him. Public relations, spin control, that sort of thing," said Duo. He pulled the condom off, tied it and handed to me, just like last time. I was too stunned by the prospect that I didn't even object.

"Guess, we'll be seeing a lot of eachother in the future, Heero," Duo grabbed a tissue from a box on the counter and wiped himself off. I just stood there.

In order to rescue myself from looking stupid with a slack jaw, I closed my eyes and grunted.

"Hey, when Treize sets me up with an office, I bed I could get him to assign you to be my secretary. Then you could actually work off that payment you owe me," Duo wondered aloud and all my attempts to avoid looking stupid with a slack jaw failed miserably. "You can wear some tight little skirt every day and bring me coffee. Plus, think of all the fun we could have on my desk."

... I'm not sure what the suspiciously giddy feeling was that blossomed in my chest when he said that.


"God... Duo.. please..." Heero sounded so good when he begged for it.

"Please. Fuck me fast, Duo," he throws his head back to cry out as I grip his body and thrust myself more violently inside him.

My braid was slapping against my ass, the skin of our bodies rubbing together was damp with sweat and Heero was getting increasingly louder. I was about to lose it when his thighs tensed and he arched his back, spattering the mirror with a flood of thick pearly drops. I fixed my gaze on his reflection, eyes clenched shut, mouth wide open and throat gulping for breath. I couldn't stop from coming if I wanted to, my body reacted to the visual stimulus and the powerful muscles contracting around my cock and I emptied my load into his willing flesh.

"Damn, I could get used to this," I said after catching my breath. Even though I felt like I wanted to stay inside him forever, I had to pull out. I did and expressed my contentment in one very satisfying sigh.

"So could I," Heero replied sounding distracted.

I grinned and told him all about his boss' offer and my plans to take him up on it as I cleaned up. When I started considering if I'd have an office and the idea of having Heero as my secretary popped into my mind, I noticed the look on the Japanese boy's face.

He looked shocked, stunned and everything in between, but lurking in those lovely blue eyes of his was a gleam that said, "Hot damn. I'm all for it baby."

Even if he wasn't too keen on the idea, he'd come around eventually.

After all, I was one hell of a salesman and if I could persuade him to buy a trunkful of sextoys, I could certainly persuade him to become my secretary.

Life was good.


Duo Maxwell left Catalonia Enterprises to work for Treize Khushrenada. He still resides with his friend Quatre, but they have moved into a slightly larger apartment and Duo spends many the late night at the office with his cute Japanese secretary. The furniture store down the street is confused by, but happy that Mr. Maxwell's desk gets so battered in only a few months. Howard's 'Funky' Furniture is flourishing under Duo's repeat business.

Heero Yuy is adjusting well to his new position as a secretary. He is almost always in drag, as his boss likes him to wear the short little tight skirts that show off his ass. He still holds a concealed weapons permit and his friends are still convinced he'll shoot someone someday. He also makes an excellent cup of coffee.

Quatre Raberba Winner and Trowa Barton and currently dating. Trowa has been promoted to head of Treize Khushrenada's security staff, which provides an ample salary so he can afford to pay for Quatre's bi-weekly shopping trips with Wufei.

Wufei remains an unabashed size queen. After finally catching a glimpse of a very well-endowed Zechs naked, the houseboy no longer refers to his employer's lover as 'That Pervert', he quite happily now refers to Zechs as 'Big Daddy' and frequently joins Treize and Zechs in their bed. He's recently appropriated half of Heero's closet to store his ever increasing shoe collection.

Relena Peacecraft is still waiting for Heero to call her so they can finalize their wedding list and remains oblivious to the fact that he doesn't even know her name and that her little pink business card is still hidden beneath the Khushrenada's [Nice Underwear!] welcome mat. After having been fired from her job at the supermarket, Relena has since been welcomed into the home of Mrs. Une (whom she met, but never sold anything to, while working as an avon lady). She is now a personal attendant for the mentally unstable woman and the two get along quite well together in their respective deluded worlds.


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