Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction. Characters belong to their respective copyright owners, like Sunrise/Sotsu/Bandai. Plot, if you can call it that, belongs to me.
Notes: Bleeding Wufei. Yaoi implied. General Hentainess
For maximum humor and just because I like the thought of five hot guys in a house together, all the boys are living together. Someone may have written a fic based on this concept before, but it's my first attempt at an entirely humorous fic, so bear with me.
A Little Something
Wufei came tearing out of a blue striped tent. His eyes were wide and he looked back and forth for something to staunch the flow of blood from...what else, a nosebleed.
"Wufei!" Sally called to him. She saw his predicament and rushed to his side. She placed a hand on his back and said, "Oh dear, tilt your head back."
He froze. Should he accept her help? With no one else to turn to, and that fact it was her fault bringing him here in the first place, Wufei decided to tilt his head back like she suggested.
"Did you get in a fight with Trowa?" she asked, digging around in her purse for a tissue.
"NO!" he shouted and paled.
"Hmmm," Sally contemplated. Wufei could feel her looking at him, even though his eyes were squinted tight as he tried to forget what he saw. He mentally cursed that he'd agreed to come with her. He only agreed so she wouldn't waste the ticket when her friend skipped out on-
"Nnnnggghhh!" his thoughts were cut short as Sally shoved a wad rudely into his nostril. He lifted a hand to rub his nose.
"Don't touch!" she cried and he stayed his hand hesitantly; she was the doctor after all and he didn't want to lose any more blood. He liked his blood in his body where it belonged.
"Take me home, woman," he growled and Sally nodded. Wufei felt marginally better when he saw the nervous, apologetic look on her face as they hurried back to her car. If I get blood on her upholstery, it serves her right for dragging me to this stupid circus.
He hopped from foot to foot as she unlocked the car. When the woman finally got around to unlocking the door on his side, he jerked the door open and sat down violently.
"Home," he grit his teeth and kept rubbing his eyes. Every time he closed them he saw...he saw Trowa... "ARGH!"
Sally patted his knee comfortingly and he shot her a dark look worthy of Heero.
"Did you have fun at the circus, Wufei?" Quatre's cheerful tone called out to him as he walked through the door.
"No," he answered sharply. He didn't even want to look at the little blonde. Seeing Quatre reminded him of Trowa and the tall boy was the last thing he wanted to think about.
"Did you...have another nosebleed, Wufei?" Quatre said, his voice raising slightly as if in disbelief.
"What do you think, just look at my nose," Wufei growled and went through the kitchen to avoid being interrogated any further by Trowa's lover.
Heero was sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of ramen. The Japanese boy looked up through his bangs as Wufei entered and asked casually, "Get to see Trowa perform?"
Wufei's eyes flared wide open and he swayed on his feet. Heero shoved out of his chair and grabbed Wufei's elbow to steady him. Wufei's head cleared and he jerked his arm away, had the Japanese boy actually thought he was going to do something so out of character as faint like a weak little girl.
Wufei blinked a few times and as Heero's face came into focus he noticed the strained look on the other boy's face. Heero was staring at his nose and his left eye was ticing.
"I had a nosebleed, alright?" Wufei roared and shoved the oddly complacent Heero aside. "What's wrong with everyone tonight!" He stormed down the hall towards the bathroom, only to find it was occupied.
"Why the hell must we only have one bathroom?!" Wufei shook his fists skyward. The gods must hate him.
"Maxwell!" he pounded on the door.
"B-u-s-y. Come back in ten," came the sing-song reply.
"Damnit Maxwell, I'll kill you if you don't open this door immediately."
Quatre and Heero drifted towards him and Wufei snarled something unintelligible at the two. They shared a long significant look.
"Fine, what the hell is so impo-," the door to the bathroom opened and Duo stopped short.
"Uh. Wufei, why do you... You have a," the braided boy waggled a finger at Wufei's face.
"I know! Sally put it there," he rolled his eyes and threw up his hands. "I got a nosebleed! I went to the damn circus with Sally and I walked in on Trowa..." he made a vague gesture to his groin and the rest of his words came out in a strangled cry, "...I didn't know a man could do that to himself."
Wufei glared at each of the boys in turn. Quatre had a vaguely smug look on his face, Heero had a thoughtful one and Duo was practically leering and trying to catch Heero's eye.
Duo coughed and snapped back out of whatever dirty little fantasies were running through his head and gestured at Wufei's nose again. "So you know you've got a little something dangling there, right?"
"Huh?" Wufei lifted his hand. Did he have a booger hanging out his other nostril. Is that why Quatre and Heero were stifling laughter behind his back? His fingers felt something. Puzzled, he crossed his eyes and tried to look at his nose.
"What the hell?" he pushed Duo aside and ran into the bathroom. In the hallway, the other three boys had broken down into fits of laughter.
"Oh my god," Wufei stared into the mirror then promptly fainted.
"I'm home!" he heard Trowa's voice distantly as he came to, he must have only fainted for a few seconds.
"What's going on?" Trowa asked, his footsteps growing louder as he came to find out what the commotion was all about. Quatre, Heero and Duo were all doubled over and wheezing by this point.
"Why is Wufei laying on the bathroom floor with a tampon in his nose?"