Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or its characters or its quotations or plotlines. They belong to the Sotsu Agency who owns their trademark, Bandai who licenses their use, Sunrise, and, of course, the guy who created them. I am neither receiving payment for this work, nor do I intend to accept any.

Pairing: 1'n 2, and who ends up seme is up for grabs
Warnings: Post-EW, gross boy stuff
Squick Factor: Recent Dx1 (air sick bags are located in the seat pocket in front of you)
Spoilers: Natch
Rating: R
Reviews: Always welcome, any sort of review.


Wash My Hair
Chapter Ten: The Super Pout of Justice Versus the Puppy Dog Eyes of Death
by Muffie


Mission Convince Heero That Love Is Not a Mission was going swimmingly. I've always wanted to say that. Swimmingly. I overheard it at one of Quat's snooty parties that I ended up attending as his bodyguard mostly because I was bored and Quatre figured I'd crash it anyway so he saved everyone the trouble. Wufei says it was to make sure I didn't eat the buffet, get drunk, and do a strip tease on the table with a lampshade on my head, but what the hell does he know? Let me tell you true, you think young guys are perverts? Ha! There ain't a male alive that's got older society chicks beat for perversion. Okay, so my ass was black and blue from swats and pinching and Rashid later suggested that I be offered a more permanent party bodyguard position because that was the first time Master Quatre had been able to sit down after one of those damned things. Me? I had to stand to eat my breakfast. Swimmingly. Right.

My first step was to be clear in my goals because it's kind of iffy on how Heero will interpret subtlety. Actually, he only really gets subtle hints if they involve combat. You know, sometimes I think he does that on purpose just to annoy me.

"Heero. Love is not a mission."

Heero paused in turning down the bed in Quat's guest room to blink at me. "Okay."

Yes! We have achieved ninmu kanryu. Congratulations, team, good job.

"Where do you want me to sleep, Master?"

Make that ninmu shippai. I tried not to grit my teeth. "Where ever you'd like to sleep."

He gave me a low wattage glare, like the kind powered by a cheap nightlight with cuddly kitties and butterflies on it. "I want to sleep where it would please you."

No way, Heero. I smiled and tried to keep it sweetly toothsome and not all about baring fangs. "It would please me for you to sleep where ever you want to sleep."

His glare painted a Doberman on his cuddle kitty nightlight. "The only place I want to sleep is where it would make you happy."

I glowered. "All I have to do is drink a little coffee and I can keep this up all night."

"Quit being so damned stubborn, Master. Where do you want me to sleep?"

Me, stubborn? Argh! Heero Yuy the sex slave was entirely too aggravating! "Where would you like to sleep?"

"Where you want me to."

Wait. Tacos. Heimlich Maneuver. Minor bout with unconsciousness. Heero's husky, seductive voice drugging my mind with euphoria. I want to sleep here. With you. Or something like that. I grinned with all of my teeth. "You want to sleep with me." I want to sleep in your bed. "In my bed. You said so. I remember."

He gave me an annoyed glare, but didn't try to deny it.

"You take the left side of the bed, I'll get the right."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "No. You'll sleep on the left side."

"But the door is closer to the right side! What if I have to get a snack in the middle of the night?"

The glare deepened. "You'll wake me up and I'll get the snack for you, Master."

"Sure, but what if I have to pee? You gonna help me out with that, too? Give me a shake and wipe?"

"If it would please you, Master."

I had a brief, cringing flash of Heero's hand on my dick after a refreshing whizz. Yeeeeahh okay. That was so not going to happen. "No. I get the side by the door," I stated firmly and decisively.

Before I could gather my wits, Heero picked me up and deposited me on the wrong side of the bed. He flopped in beside me and yanked the covers over us.

"You suck as a slave, you know that?"

"I'm a damned good slave, Master."

"Well, slave, you left the lights on."

Growling, he threw the covers off and slunk--FYI, Heero plus slinking equals wild tiger sexy, mee-yow--over to turn off the lights. Not bothering to stifle the smug grin on my face, one should never stifle oneself, I took my time arranging myself on the side of the bed closest to the door. Take that Heero Yuy!

He did, too. That bastard. For a man who can bend steel, picking up one dinky lil' Duo Maxwell and dropping him off on the other side of the bed is child's play. Bastard! He scootched in under the covers again and wrapped me up in his arms. His fingers brushed my bangs and he pressed an absentminded kiss across the side of my nose. I'm guessing that Heero, Mr. Dead Eye Dick Perfect Marksman, missed whatever he was aiming his lips at because he tried it again and tagged my eyeball.

God. Hello Yuy, it's dark in the room. You can't see with your eyes so use your fingers! "Heero, do it this way." I groped for his cheeks and held his face still beneath my palms. My thumbs traced the contours of his lips and he sucked in a loud breath. I liked that so much I did it again right before I leaned over and planted one on his kisser, my thumbs were the runway and his mouth was the landing pad. "Now you try."

"Hm." Well. It's better than a grunt, I guess.

His fingers touched my face, slowly tracing around my cheeks and brushing lightly around my jaw. Then he licked along my throat.

Oh.

And nibbled at my collarbone.

My.

And nuzzled lower, pushing my shirt up so he could find bare flesh. With his teeth. The kind of bare flesh that gets all nipply really quick when he's nipping at it. You'll note that he had no trouble at all finding either one in the dark.

"Heero, God."

He was probably smirking when he wasn't sucking on my nipples. If you ever wondered what man-nipples were good for, suck on one and watch him turn into your love slave right before your very lips. Especially if you suck on them with little flicks of your tongue and little scrapes with your teeth just like Heero was doing to mine. And to make it even better, trail your fingers down along his uber sexy six pack like mine to where his jammie bottoms were just barely covering his other erectile bits that are getting all perky and wrap your fingers around the shaft and rub your thumb over the head where--

"Heero!"

"Sssh, you'll wake up Quatre."

I didn't give a rat's behind. What his hands were doing to my little guy should get a Nobel fucking Peace prize. If I could get him to do that forever, I'd never leave the house.

"Thank you, Master," Heero said, sounding incredibly amused, "but I don't need a Nobel."

Shit, I said that out loud? Shit, where did Heero learn to do that? "Heero!"

A hand clamped over my mouth. "Ssh! I don't want to hear any more about Chang Wufei and Treize Khushrenada tonight, if you don't mind, Master."

My eyes popped open. Oh hell. Quatre and his...fantasies.

"Quatre is drunk enough to try to join us."

I cringed. I couldn't help it. Quatre would stumble in, get excited like a puppy about hopping right into the action, and then he would get these big, huge eyes full of tears, a quivering lip, and sniffle his way to the door like a puppy that got kicked, twice, when we told him we didn't want to have sex with him. Not that he wasn't cute or anything, but, c'mon, he's Quatre. That'd be like having sex with your little brother. Eww.

"Master," Heero was back to sounding amused again, "perhaps we should continue this at home, later, where you can scream my name all you like."

I felt all indignant as a wet cat drinking rich cream. "I wasn't screaming."

"I like it when you scream my name, Master. I plan on making you do it," he licked along my throat, "a lot."

"Oh dear God."

"Not God, just Heero, Master."

Okay, that was flat awful. I slapped my hand over my mouth to keep the giggles from getting loud enough to wake up the drunken blonde pervert. I don't think I've seen a sex related comedy once that didn't have that old joke in it. I don't know what was funnier, the fact that Heero said it, or the fact that Heero said it in monotone. Okay, maybe it wasn't quite that funny.

"Whatever, let's just go to sleep, okay? Quatre is going to have the hangover from hell tomorrow and I'm going to hide in the closet while you deal with it."

He snorted. "You'll help."

"Will not."

"You will. Go to sleep, Master."

"I'm not--eep!"

He tugged me up against him, shoving my head onto his shoulder, and then slipped his hand--his ice cold hand, not the nice warm one he'd used earlier--under my pajamas and clutched my buttcheek the same way he used to hang on to his gun back in the war. Hm. Maybe his other hand was cold, too, but he was boldly fondling where no man had fondled before and I was too, erm, fondled to notice. Well, maybe not because the boys tend to climb up inside the body when they get chilly.

I cuddled closer into him and grinned. A week ago, heck not even three days ago, I never would have believed that I, Duo Maxwell, would have my shoulder snuggled into Heero Yuy's armpit while he groped my butt under my jammies.

Life was going damned swimmingly. For me, anyway. For Quatre? I don't think our little cuddle buddy was ever gonna drink again. He woke Heero up the next morning when he stumbled through the place into the bathroom where the water ran in the sink for like half an hour. Heero, being the good sex slave that he is, woke me up and told me to go check on Quatre while he made some coffee. The bastard shoved me out of bed when I rolled over and covered my head with a pillow. Talk about injustice.

Quatre was flopped over the bathroom sink, moaning. I reached around him to shut the water off.

"Oh, please, just shoot me now," he groaned.

"No can do. Heero's making you some coffee."

"I want to die. My head. Why did you let me drink so much?"

Right. Like I had anything to do with it. "It was water. Let's get to the kitchen now. We'll dig you out some painkillers or something."

He gurgled incoherently, but didn't move. Dammit, Quatre, I wanted some coffee.

"Kitchen, now, or I'm going to yodel."

He cracked open an eye to glare at me. "You're evil."

"And you love me for it. Coffee and analgesics, the breakfast of champions. Move it."

He pushed himself upright and tottered into the kitchen with a brief detour to the foyer table thingie for a pair of sunglasses.

Heero arched an eyebrow when Quatre collapsed into a chair, pressing his cheek to the table, and covering his head with both of his arms. I arched one right back. He grunted and put a mug and a few pills on the table next to hangover boy.

"Now I understand the prohibition against alcohol." Quatre smiled at Heero, then winced. He swallowed the pills and sipped the coffee. "I will never drink again."

"Aww, Quatre, you were just so adorable last night!" I grinned at him. "You remember any of it?"

He glared at me sourly. Well, it looked like it was a sour kind of glare because his mouth got all turned down and puckered like he was sucking lemons. "Too much of it. Did you have to encourage me? I hit on Heero!" He winced and rubbed gingerly at his temples.

"Encourage you? I couldn't stop you! My God, I have heard more about Chang Wufei and Treize Khushrenada having sex than I ever wanted to hear. You are such a pervert!"

All of the blood drained from his face, leaving behind a pasty, half-greenish tint. "I told you about that?"

"And Little Duo Riding Hood and the Big Bad Zechs," Heero growled.

Quatre slumped to the table again. "Please don't tell Wufei."

I smirked "What's it worth to ya?"

"Master." Heero gave me his you do anything, a-ny-thing at all, to Wing and you'll be missing body parts glare.

"Good grief, Wing is gone, Heero. Self-destruct, kablooey. Any of that ring a bell?"

He blinked, his glare going slack. Quatre lowered his shades to squint at me. Heero settled his quit confusing me, dammit, glare into place. "You will not tell Wufei about Quatre's fantasies or I'll tell Trowa about your King Duo and Queen Trowa-vere fantasy."

"Uh, 'Ro, that's Quatre's fantasy, not mine."

"Run, hide, but never tell a lie is your motto, not mine."

"You wouldn't!"

The bastard just smirked.

Quatre quietly set the sunglasses next to his coffee mug. "Duo, I need your help."

"Sure thing, Quatre. You better not, Heero, or I'll tell, uh...." I couldn't think of anything suitably intimidating, but I would!

Quatre took a careful sip of his coffee, then set the mug down with an exaggerated care that didn't do anything to keep the clink quiet. "It's time that I got over this silly infatuation I have with Trowa. His friendship is very important to me, but he is just my friend. I think that it's time for me to start dating."

Heero gave me his worried glare and I gave him my worried look. "Right. Well, I have met a few reasonably nice men since I've been here, but I don't think the people in my social circle are really your speed. Most of them don't even know what a fork is for."

He smiled a bit. "No, I can find people to date, but look at me. I look like a twelve year old boy. I'm only going to attract gold-diggers and pedophiles."

Heero nodded sharply. "Duo and I will both make certain that any prospects are suitable, have clean backgrounds, and will treat you properly."

Quatre sighed. "Rashid and Abdul already have what they call a Master Quatre Suitor Protocol in place that does that. I couldn't talk them out of it. I'm not sure exactly what it involves, but I know there are extensive background checks, references, and some intimidation involved. " He smiled again, staring off into space. "Trowa apparently failed the MQSP in several areas."

Well, if he didn't need me to find him a guy or to scare the living bejeezus--face it, Shinigami was terrifying, but the Maganac Daddy Corps would be ten times more effective--out of anyone, then there wasn't much I could do, really. "Uh, well, I'm not sure I can do much for you. I can be moral support. My shoulder is always open and we can have sleep overs, do each other's hair, and gossip about our boys."

"I need a makeover."

Heero and I exchanged worried glares and looks again. "A what?"

"I have a plan and the first step I will implement is a new personal image. One that shows that I'm a man, not some schoolboy fresh out of puberty. I want to be attractive and sexy. If I'm going to do this dating thing, then I might as well do it properly and that means having fun with it."

This was starting to sound an awful lot like some of the mission-y things we used to do, way back when we were kicking ass and taking names in huge, super-powerful weapons of mass destruction, doom, and terror. "A plan? You have a plan that you're going to implement?"

Quatre beamed, then winced and toned it down. "Of course! You have to have a plan to get anything done properly. Once I have the right personal image, the next step is to look over the prospects and meet people so that I can assess what I am and am not looking for in a potential dating partner. Once I have a set of criteria, I can move to the casual dating step to see who suits me and who doesn't. After that, I can settle into a more serious dating schedule with a few candidates culled from the wider dating pool, and then, hopefully, fall deeply in love with one and live happily ever after." He grinned impishly. "I believe I will add sex slave to list of requirements. We can compare notes, Duo."

"So you want me to help you figure out what guy will make a sex slave? That's not my--"

"Oh, no, no, no. I need you to help me become sexy."

I tried to share a third worried glare with Heero, but he was scratching his chin and looking at Quatre thoughtfully. Spoilsport. "Uh, sexy?"

"Yup! I need an entire new wardrobe, I need to learn how behave to project the image that I want, and I think it would help if I learned to do the informal dances that sexy people do with each other. I need you to help me to do that." He gave me a low-wattage grin. "I'm not intense enough to be Wufei or Heero's kind of sexy, but I think that I'm enough like you in temprament to adapt your kind of sexy to my own style."

My jaw hit the table, crashed through it, and bitch slapped the linoleum.

Heero, that traitor, just nodded. "I agree that Duo offers you the best chance of success in this mission."

Quatre smiled at Heero, as all pleased with himself as a puppy that just managed to catch its own tail.

I slapped my hand over my eyes just so I didn't have to witness this travesty of not getting hip deep into trouble-ness. I just couldn't wrap my head around the whole Quatre as Duo as Sexy idea that they were calmly discussing as if they were trying to decide between straight cotton drawers or a cotton blend! "You can't be Duo sexy because you're already Quatre sexy. You're not me, you're you. Being a long-haired baka just won't work for you. You got to be you and make that work. You know, do the Quatre thing. If you find some guy that thinks Quatre as Duo is sexy, what have you got? A man that's after Heero's guy, that's what!"

Quatre sighed. "Duo, the last man that thought I was sexy wanted me to shave my private area, put on short pants, carry a Wing Gundam lunchbox, sit on his lap, and ask him to explain to me why I felt funny inside whenever I saw the other boys take down their pants in the bathroom."

"They have Wing lunchboxes?!" I was outraged. "I want a 'Scythe lunchbox!"

"Ninmu ryoukai," Heero said. I think he was making fun of me.

"Duo, you're deliberately missing the point."

"The point is that Deathscythe was the best gundam. Ever!"

Heero very carefully did not laugh at me. You could see it written all over his face. "You should call Dorothy Catalonia, Quatre. She can help you."

The Spawn of Satan? Teaching Quatre how to be sexy? "No! No fucking way! I saw all of her hot chick in red latex torture chamber instruments of eternal damnation and boo-boos on the buttocks! There is now way in hell that a woman who put a cock harness and a collar on you is getting anywhere near Quatre!"

"Dorothy put a cock harness on you?" Quatre didn't sound properly disgusted at all, like all normal, sane, and even remotely human people would. Oh no, our closet blonde pervert sounded intrigued.

Heero nodded. "She trained me to be Master Duo's sex slave."

Quatre hummed thoughtfully. "I believe that I'll give Dorothy a call to see if she can free her schedule for some shopping."

"No, no, Quatre! She'll turn you into a pervert and take you on a six hour shoe shopping safari and you'll never get a date with anyone that's not completely psychotic or doesn't have the eyebrow thing!"

"Duo, I appreciate that you're trying to protect me, but my mind is made up."

I pouted. Quatre had the power of cute at his disposal. All I had in my little arsenal was whining and pouting. Whining hadn't worked, so it was time to pull out all stops. The Duo Maxwell Super Pout of Justice was winging its way straight toward Quatre's guilt producing glands. Not that I pout, or anything, because pouting just isn't manly and if there's anything Duo Maxwell is, it's manly. I put the machismo in machinist. Ask anyone, they'll tell ya.

Quatre's face fell. Oh, I see how it was gonna be. An all out cage match of cute versus adorable. A mano a mano grudge match of doom where the CuteRock would do his best to take down Adorablescythe Hell. Raw is War, baby! His already big sea-blue eyes got even bigger and developed this dewy moistness that made everyone from Colonel Une right on down to fuzzy caterpillars cave. "I love Trowa and I always will, just like I love you and Heero, but last night, I did my grieving for what will never be and today I will start a new future, one where Trowa and I will always have each other as best of friends. I hope that you will help me accomplish my goals, but if you can't, then I will understand. Your friendship means just as much to me, Duo."

Heero snorted. "Pretty speech, Winner."

Quatre stuck his tongue out at Heero. "Well. So I'm not over Trowa, but, dammit, I'm going to try!"

I elbowed Heero and grinned. "Quatre said dammit."

Quatre fiddled with the shades. "Are you going to help me, Duo? Or am I going to have to rely on Dorothy's discretion?"

I had a brief image of Dorothy turning Quatre into some man's sex toy just like she did Heero. Heero could protect himself from anyone who treated him like a hooker, but Quatre? Who would protect Quatre? Dammit anyway. I couldn't even get cheezed about being so blatantly manipulated, either. "I'll help you. I just want to make sure you know what you're doing, okay? Dorothy's a great girl, but her personal AI is missing a few necessary subroutines."

He slipped his sunglasses back. "So, I need something for Relena's house party this weekend. What time can you meet me?"

I tried to do the worried glare exchange with Heero again, but he wasn't having any of it. "I can get two or three hours for lunch and make it up after work. Does noon work for you?"

"Yes, it's fine. Where are we going?"

"Mall. Meet me by the food so I can get some lunch before we hit the shops. If you get a hold of Doro, tell her we'll find her in one of her shoe stores."

"She's not that bad, is she?"

"On the day she gave me my very own Heero Yuy to love and hug and kiss and snuggle, we spent six hours hitting every shoe store twice. She's not that bad, she's worse." I wrinkled my nose. "I think she does it on purpose."

"Well, no shoe shopping with Dorothy, then." Quatre frowned a little. "Will this extra long lunch be a problem with Wufei? I know you two don't get along very well and I don't want to cause you any trouble with your partner."

"Wufei! Shit!" Shit! Shit! Shit! I'd completely forgotten to call Wufei last night! I bet he had to take a cab to the office, too. He was gonna be pissed. Not the usual yell at Duo until my sphincter unclenches and I can relax for the rest of day kind of pissed, either. He was going to be pissed pissed. I can't believe I forgot. Well, actually, I could see why I got distracted.. What with Heero tricking me into spanking him, that rat bastard, the whole embarrassing frozen carrot incident, and then Heero's How to Infiltrate Duo's Anus mission briefing--which I would probably blush over for the rest of my life--followed by that kissing. That wonderful, fabulous, I have died the little death and ran the sperm marathon kissing.

"Maxwell! You are late! Where are you? Why do have that idiotic smile on your face?"

"Uh, yeah, I kinda noticed. I'm at Quatre's. Are you sure you want to know why I'm smiling?" I gave him the best chagrined grin I could under the circumstances to go with. He turned yellow. No shit. Bright yellow. Chartreuse, even. "Anyway. I was going to call you last night and let you know, but I got, um, kinda distracted. I'm really, sorry, Wufei. I won't leave you hanging like that again, I promise." I tried really hard not to have the patented Quatre puppy face on because I really did feel bad about leaving Wufei out in the cold, but I don't think I quite managed it..

He glared at the corner of his vidphone as if it were planning on committing genocide in his kitchen. "I did not need a ride this morning. Marquise arrived promptly at 0630. I tried to phone you, but you were not home. I left a note."

"Zechs gave you a ride to work? Way to go, you sly dog."

He went with puce, this time, I think. "It's not like that, Maxwell! It was simply one co-worker extending a courtesy to another co-worker. Marquise is both conscientious and a gentleman." Wufei narrowed his eyes at me. "Marquise is the sort of man to inspire admiration and confidence in others. He is sort that both Preventers and those growing into their manhood would do well to emulate."

This from a man whose idea of the highest of praise is to tell you that infrequently you're not a complete fuck-up when you shut up and do what he tells you. And Wufei claims that he just admires Zechs as a fellow warrior. Can we say I'm too far in the closet, please email me some light and a map? I tried not to roll my eyes, I really did. "Sure, Wu. It doesn't hurt that Zechs has an ass that should be bronzed and put on a pedestal in a fine art museum, either."

Wufei glowered. "Perhaps someone should inform Yuy of your admiration for Marquise?" How in the hell does he do that? I never got the hang of enunciating perfectly with my teeth clenched and jaws grinding like that.

I smirked and leaned forward a bit. "I'll admit, Zechs is a sexy piece of work, all right, but I have a taste for Asian men." I batted my eyelashes at him for good measure.

The veins on his head about popped open before he stabbed at his vidphone and cut me off. His buttons were just so damned easy to push and I was too much of a born again sinner to resist the temptation to push like crazy.

"So Zechs is a sexy piece of work?"

I grinned sheepishly up at an amused Heero. "Not as sexy as you, babe."

"Or Wufei?"

I stuck my tongue out at him. Hey, if it worked for Quatre. He just grinned, no shit, an honest to god tooth flashing grin, at me. I usually wanted to just glomp the hell out of him and rub my face all over his body in joy when he glared at me. The grin? Same thing, only I couldn't resist the temptation. I wrapped myself around him, rubbing my cheek against his, and he barely managed to keep from hitting the floor. I am the glomp master, baby.

"Ahem." Quatre could go suck pocky. I was glomping, dammit.

Heero pushed me off. "Later, Master," he admonished. I wrinkled my face up, crossed my arms over my chest, and glared dangerously at him. "You have to get ready for work. I've got a few things to take care of, but I'll pick you up at eleven thirty."

I arched my eyebrow. "Don't think Une will approve of my jammies?"

He smirked and poked at a spot just above my dick. "This spot is a stained."

Eh? "So?"

His smirk turned positively naughty. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was leering. "Don't you remember how you got that stain?"

Like it matters. Food always hits my lap. "Dinner or something. I'm a messy eater."

"What did you call it back at St. Gabriel's? A protein shake?"

A what? "A pro--oh. Um. Right. Okay." I shut up before I could talk myself into the pit of undying embarrassment over this one.

Quatre snickered, though. I didn't look at the little blonde bastard. He would be enjoying the hell out of this, the evil jerk. A lot. I stuck my nose in the air and swept into the bathroom like I was Queen Elizabeth Bathory. No, wait, that was the bathe in virgin's blood chick. Or was it shower? And maybe it didn't have to be a virgin. I'd have to ask Wufei the next time we were on a really long stakeout and he had zero access to reference materials.

I was kind of disappointed when Heero pulled the bathroom door shut behind me, with him on the wrong side of the door. The wrong side being, of course, outside of the bathroom. Dammit, he was supposed to be my sex slave. How in the hell did he plan on washing my hair if he wasn't in here with me? Nevermind that I didn't actually have time to wash the 'do and would have kicked him out anyway. He could have at least made the effort. I did not pout my way through a shower and I certainly did not pout when I pulled on the clean uniform Heero had brought along from my closet. I sulked. All sulking stopped instantly when Heero showed up with breakfast, though. Gotta love a man who can anticipate your needs.

When we got down the parking garage, I noticed something really odd right off. My car was in a visitor's slot. My car. Not Heero's car. Not the neighbor's hotwired and borrowed car. My car. My car keys jingled in Heero's hand when he opened up the driver's side and slid into the seat. Of my car. Mr. Oh, Gee, Let's See If the Self-Destruct Button Works was sitting the driver's seat of my car. Mr. I Regret That I Only Have One Life to Give for My Colony Because I Have No Sense of Self Preservation Whatsoever was planning on driving my baby. He wasn't just planning on it, he had driven it. My baby, my poor, sweet innocent baby in the merciless hands of an ex-terrorist, demolitions expert who has a history of pressing the self-destruction button on his beloved machine.

"Master, get in the car."

"You know, that happens to be my car."

He glared at me for a few seconds.

I snorted. "I refuse to be manipulated."

"May I borrow your car today, Master?" he growled. Someone really needed to sit down with him and teach him that his I'm gonna rip your throat out voice did not help.

"Since you asked so nice. One scratch on my baby, Yuy, and you're fixing it with your tongue."

Bastard smirked.

"That wasn't a sexual innuendo."

"Of course not."

Bastard. I gave him my best don't fuck with me glare--I learned it from him with a few pointers from Wufei -- and slid into the passenger seat. Of my own car. "No self destructing my car, you got that? You feel the urge to push the button, you go get your own car!"

He paused in the act of reaching for the keys in favor of looking at me. Slowly, as if he thought I was gonna rabbit or something, he lifted his hand and gently trailed his fingers along my cheek. He smiled just as gently, almost reassuringly. "It's no long necessary for me to self destruct. I have you now."

I just wanted to throw myself in his lap and hug the stuffing out of him.

"Master?"

I must have had that stupid, sappy, oh, I'm so in looooove look on my face that newlyweds and fifteen year old Relenas wore. God, he was so beautiful. Not beautiful like super model beautiful, even though he was beautiful that way, too, but beautiful like angels and puppies were beautiful. I know for a fact my stupid sappy smile got stupider and sappier, but I didn't care at all. "Hmmm?"

"When we get home tonight, will you let me wash your hair?"

I reached out and touched his cheek, feeling the rough stubble under my fingers. "You're the only one I've ever wanted to touch my hair."

on to chapter eleven

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