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Damsel in Distress versus the Knight in Shiny Armor
Chapter 17 - The Joy of Gay Sex Fully Revised and Expanded, 134th Ed.
by Muffie

The first thing Heero noticed when he stepped into Differential Calculus Theory III with his notebook--which held the Shy Virginal Gundam Pilot Gets Broken In issue--clutched to his chest was that Trowa wasn't in Differential Calculus Theory III. There wasn't a quiz, either. Frowning a little bit, Heero settled into his usual corner seat and flipped open to his favorite shy virgin pic. Duo was shirtless with his braid pulled over his shoulder to pool in his lap. He was staring at the camera with big, dewy eyes that begged Heero to come and protect him. Heero dutifully took notes with a teeny tine part of his attention and dutifully memorized the vulnerable curves on his baka's face with the rest of it.

He stopped off at his room long enough to secure his magazine, check his make up, and pull on three pairs of sexy girl's underpants that he'd taken from Wufei's drawer. It was the best compromise he could manage since he knew that Fabio Fujiwara would be reaching under his skirt to grab his butt and that, if all of the simulated missions he read were correct, the not-princess would drag him off to a private location to kiss and grab his butt. He would not have time between the two butt grabbings to change from gundanium briefs to sexy underwear. Perhaps he should simply make the time? No, he was a soldier, he could handle Fujiwara's idiotic fumblings. He checked the time, 1320. Good. He had enough time to implement his mission plan so that yesterday's failure would not be repeated. First, he went off in search of Quatre.

It took some fast grunting on his part, and a Glare o' Death set to kill, but he managed to convince Quatre that he really wanted to have a romantic interlude with his baka at the big sakura tree in the quad at precisely 1405 hours and not one minute before. He ordered Quatre to stress to Duo that he would not have kisses if he showed up any earlier. He also asked that Quatre "go all Zero" on his baka if he decided not to carry his weight in this mission. A no show was unacceptable. Satisfied that he'd gotten his point across with eighteen minutes to spare, he left the gaping blonde and went to the home economics classroom to find Wufei.

Wufei was sitting in the center of a gaggle of giggling girls. He was glaring daggers at the teacher and sharpening a pair of knitting needles to a fine point on a whetstone. Pink and blue skeins of fuzzy yarn littered the table in front of him. Wufei was apparently trying his hardest to learn to knit. While he applauded such dedication to academics, he needed Wufei for more important things. Heero stepped into the classroom and sent the girls running with a single Glare o' Death set to stun. The teacher, who resembled a large mouth bass at the moment, blinked. Heero turned the glare on her. "Chang has a sucking chest wound. He must go to the nurse."

The teacher added narrowed eyes to the large mouth bass look. "Miss Chang is perfectly fine! She will not get out of learning to knit!"

Heero whipped out the .357 magnum Colt King Cobra and pressed it to Wufei's ribs. Girls squealed, the teacher eeped, and Wufei turned sheet white. "I said," he ground out at menacingly as he knew how, "that Wufei has a sucking chest wound. He must go to the nurse. Do not force me to shoot him to prove it."

The large mouth bass had become a kissing gourami. "Yes! Of course! Hurry and get her to the nurse, we wouldn't want her to die!"

Satisfied, he holstered the King Cobra, grabbed Wufei's wrist, and hauled the boy behind him. He wanted to arrive five minutes early to cover any last minute issues that might have cropped up.

"Yuy!" Wufei roared, once they stopped by the tree. "What is the meaning of this injustice?!"

"I do not see Fujiwara," Heero said, glowering at the tree. "This is unacceptable."


"Chang, you will wait here and instruct the baka not to go anywhere until I return with Fujiwara."

"The guy who peed on your foot?" Wufei shook his head. "I will never understand you, Yuy."

Heero glared at Wufei. "Your understanding is not required. You are my back up for this mission. Winner will make sure that the baka is here at 1405 hours. You will remain at this location and keep the baka here to wait for my signal. Then you will send the baka in to rescue me from Fujiwara."

"What is the signal?" a wide-eyed Wufei asked faintly.

Heero considered the issue for a moment. "I will fire my right hand .50AE into the air. It is unlikely that anyone else in the vicinity has one, so the sound will not be mistaken."


He twisted his fingers in Wufei's silk blouse and jerked him forward, onto his toes. "Do not fail in this mission, Chang."

"Maxwell has well and truly driven you insane."

Heero stuck his face into Wufei's and growled.

"Fine, I'll do as you ask, Yuy, if only because this entire mission of yours is amusing."

He briefly considered pummeling Wufei for finding any sort of amusement at what he suspected was his expense, but he didn't have the time. He mentally penciled the activity in for later. "Good."

It took a good forty minutes to track down the missing rapist. He found the boy hiding in a locker in the gym. The boy's locker room gave him pause as the scents of dubious male hygiene washed over him. It was rather like the men's room where he first kissed his baka, with the addition of the smell of musty sweat socks. If Fabio thought such things would deter him, he was about to learn otherwise.

He calmly ripped the steel door from the locker, though simply opening it might have been more expedient. Fabio squealed and ducked down. "I'm sorry! Please don't kill me!"

"I am unable to terminate you now. I do not have time to find a replacement rapist for the mission, so you will have to do. You will come with me to the sakura trees. You will attack me. You will allow my baka to rescue me. You will not harm a single hair on his head when he beats the shit out of you. You will put up enough of a fight to make it a real rescue. You will not mark or hurt him in any way. If you fail to follow instructions, I will kill you. If you fail to follow instructions regarding my baka, I will kill you slowly. Do you understand?"

"Y-yes, ma'am!"

"Good. My baka should already be there, so we'll have to hurry." He motioned with the barrel of his right hand .50 AE. "Move it."

His not-princess hadn't arrived at the appointed location by the time he returned with his rapist. Trowa was there, laconically leaning against a tree and balancing a throwing knife, point down, on the tip of his finger to amuse himself. Wufei was crouched beside him, looking incredibly bored.

"Where is the baka?"

Trowa smirked. "Quatre sent me. Duo can't make it, I'm sorry to say, Heero."

Heero glowered and his rapist quailed. "I'm going to kill that baka!"

The smirk deepened. "It's really not his fault. He has detention until he's fifty."

"Detention? What?"

"He got a little bit angry when the chemistry teacher demanded that he return to the dorm and put on appropriate attire for a young lady of his stature. After he took off his pants and beat the teacher with his boxers, he used the hydrochloric acid from his food digestion experiment to rig a bomb that took out half the science lab. This is where he started screaming about Shinigami and revenge. Apparently, the chemistry teacher was a penny pinching bastard because he used low grade stuff. Anyway, it took Quatre going all Zero on his ass to get his pants back on and once the fire department arrived, they gave him detention forever. The principal gave him time off the end of his sentence for being such a cute girl. They had to sedate him immediately after that. You'll have to see if he'll let you rescue him later so you can do your kissing stuff." Trowa smirked again. "I recommend you start with his cute little butt. I'd tell you how nice it looks in person, but you'd kill me."

Wufei snorted in amusement. Huffing a little, Heero hoped he would not have to scrap the mission all together. Confessions of undying true love weren't quite a vow to forsake all others, but this love business had preceded the vow in the films and literature on such goings on that he'd been exposed to.

Trowa put his knife away. "Let's go get changed. I promised to buy you some manuals."

At the bookstore....

It was truly amazing if you stop to think about it, but they found a large, franchised bookstore complete with coffee shop in the village. It was right next to the blacksmith. Quatre and Wufei had decided to join them in their foray into the wilds of non-fiction. Quatre took one look at Heero's fierce ninmu ryoukai face and beelined for the music books. Heero marched directly to the nearest employee to demand the location of gay sex books before Trowa could explain a little something about tact, privacy, and delicate sensibilities.

The stammering and entirely too nervous employee managed to get lost among the shelves twice. The pimple-faced kid squeaked apologies for everything from the lighting down to the direction the pile of the carpet lay.

Trowa sighed. "Heero, quit glaring, you're scaring him and we'll never get there."

Heero nodded once then smiled. The employee turned pale white. His face rather resembled one of those Death by Pepperoni pizzas that Duo had unsuccessfully attempted to subject him to.

"That's not better," Trowa muttered.

Eventually the pimple plagued employee found the correct section, lodged incomprehensibly enough between poetry and hot rods, squealed something about hope and helpfulness, then made a break for the bathroom. He glared at the retreating form, irritated. What if he had more questions? Trowa just snorted, moved past the complete John Donne collection in leather, tripped over a fellow shopper who had been crouched on the floor, pressed up against the shelves, and knocked them both over.

Heero turned his glare on the indignant squeak, then bent over and picked up the books that Wufei had dropped when Trowa ran over him. Heero scratched his head. "Practical Domination for Owners of the Executive Bottom: A Guide for Dealing with the Power Hungry Sammy."

Wufei snarled, slapping at the hand that Trowa offered to help him up with. "It is none of your concern, Yuy!"

"Topping from the Top: A Practicum for Keeping Your Sammy on the Bottom." Heero furrowed his brow. "Who's Sammy?"

Trowa smirked.

Wufei turned three shades of red, spluttered, then fell back onto a quietly hissed justice rant. "It's injustice, Yuy! You simply do not ask ridiculous questions when you have no need to know the answer! Injustice, I tell you!"

"Smart-Assed Masochist," Trowa said with a smirk that infuriated Wufei. "Though it refers to all submissives that try to top from the bottom these days."

Wufei yanked the books out of Heero's hands. "I have important research to accomplish for a, a term paper in er, abnormal psychology! I will thank you to keep out of my affairs!"

"So," Trowa purred, "does this have anything to do with the reason why Heero thought gay men required three people to have sex? C'mon, Wufei, you can tell me."

"Injustice!" Wufei shouted, before stomping off toward the horticulture section.

Trowa's grin flashed teeth. If he had been Duo, he would have been on the floor, clutching his sides, and belly laughing loudly enough to be heard in the parking lot.

Heero frowned, watching Wufei stick his nose in the air and disappear between shelves. "Why is he angry? It's expected to purchase books at a bookstore."

Trowa pulled the heavy and nicely illustrated Joy of Gay Sex Fully Revised and Expanded 134th Edition from the shelf and dropped it into Heero's arms. "I believe he's embarrassed."

Heero's frown deepened. "Embarrassed? Did he fail his mission?"

Trowa paused, looking Heero from the corner of his eyes. "Is that what embarrasses you?"

"Failing a mission is shameful."

"Ah." Trowa dragged a finger along the spines of a few books, then pulled out The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex: A Medical Handbook for Men 20th Edition. He thumbed through it, before adding it to the Joy of Gay Sex in Heero's arms.

"He seemed rather embarrassed when I pulled him off of Khushrenada when they were copulating. He was upset about it."

Trowa dropped Gay Sex: A Manual for Men Who Love Men and blinked at Heero. Wondering if he'd somehow crossed over into the Twilight Zone, he bent and picked up the book.

Heero glowered at The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex. "I don't know why he would be. Zechs wasn't upset when he ceased copulating with Chang."

Trowa dropped Gay Sex: A Manual for Men Who Love Men again, but Heero was prepared and caught it this time.

"Of course, Zechs dismounted voluntarily and it did take me five minutes to pull Chang off of Khushrenada." Heero glared in the direction of the horticulture section. "He wouldn't let go."

Trowa couldn't think of a single damned thing to say to that. He nodded jerkily, trying to picture a screaming and cursing Wufei, in the midst of fucking Treize Khushrenada, fighting off Heero and his ninmu ryoukai face. He couldn't quite manage it. Instead, he grabbed the last copy of the Gay Kama Sutra and ushered Heero to the checkout counter. Heero came to a sudden stop at a table topped with paperback romances. One of the bodice rippers featured a woman in a white dress bent at an impossible angle, unless she had no spine to speak of, over a mostly naked, muscular man's arm. Heero noted with some annoyance that none of the men on these covers resembled himself. "I wish to purchase a book on marrying."

Trowa blinked, then shrugged. It was a guarantee that Duo wouldn't like it, just as it was a guarantee that it would be, to say the least, vastly entertaining. He trailed in Heero's wake as the man in spandex attacked another employee, this one female with braces, and hounded her into taking him to the bridal section. There, he sent her scurrying off with a glare and began the slow, arduous process of checking the table of contents, index, and sample chapter of every book on weddings available. Trowa went to find Quatre and a lockable bathroom stall.

Three hours and four orgasms later, what can he say, he had amazing recovery time, Trowa wandered back to find Heero on one of the last three books on the shelf. Quatre, blushing, sweaty, and with his buttons mismatched, peered around Trowa's arm at the huge mess Heero had made. A huddle of employees stood a safe distance away with a table of guns and warfare non-fiction between themselves and the insane man buying books on gay sex and wedding dresses. Finally, Heero stood, glared at his audience, then lifted his stack of books and marched to the checkout.

They met Wufei outside in the outdoor patio. He was sipping on tea and reading his book. A peek at the book jacket stated that it was about the proper care of roses, but the diagram on the page was of a naked, handcuffed man, kneeling. Noting their approach, Wufei glared and slapped the book shut. "It has taken you quite long enough."

Trowa merely arched an eyebrow.

Wufei slid the book into the sack from the bookstore and collected his other packages, one from a well-known pet store, one from a home improvement superstore, and the last from a local harness and tack shop. He glowered at them. "Merely gifts for my, er, gundam."

Trowa gave a slight grin, but said nothing.

Back in the dorm...

Wufei had dumped his purchases into his knapsack and buried two of his books beneath his mattress with a glare of warning at Trowa. Heero had opened up the Joy of Gay Sex and glowered his way through the acknowledgments. Satisfied that Trowa had gotten the "don't look or die" message, Wufei had laid out his most formal white suit, waltzed into the en suite bathroom and locked himself in. That had been an hour ago.

"Barton. Explain this." Heero held up the Joy of Gay Sex and pointed to a picture of a tongue slithering between a pair of butt cheeks.


"I do not understand why a man would want to put his tongue on another man's defecation equipment."

Trowa blinked, defe-, then shook his head. "You have several manuals."

Heero gave him a do-it-or-I'll-tell-Quatre-to-cut-you-off glare. "Explain, Barton."

He blinked again and tried to decide the validity of the threat. No, he knew Quatre would be put out with him if he didn't help Heero and then Quatre wouldn't put out for him. "It feels good."

"It's unsanitary!"

Trowa shook his head. "Not if you clean up first."

Heero looked as thoroughly disgusted as one can look without expression.

"Have you ever touched your anus?"

"I practice proper hygiene."

"I'll take that as a no." Trowa crossed the room and dropped onto Heero's bed.

"I touch it every day to wash it. That is not no."

"You've never touched it in a sexual way."

Heero brought back the disgusted look.

"Your anus has a lot of sensitive nerves. They feel good when stimulated. That's why most people do anything sexual, because it feels good."

"Show me."

Trowa crossed his arms and glared. "I only have sex with Quatre."

Heero glared back. "How am I supp--"

Humming to himself, Wufei stepped from the bathroom wrapped in a towel, steam saturated with a spicy citrus scent billowed into the room.


Wufei froze in the act of reaching for his white silk boxers and looked over at Heero.

"Show me how rimming feels," Heero ordered.

Thirty minutes later....

"He doesn't have a concussion," Heero decided, checking the bump on Wufei's head once again.

Trowa sighed. "Heero, you can't just ask things like that. Particularly not from Wufei. He's repressed."

"Quit speaking as if I am not here!" Wufei snarled. "I am not repressed!"

Heero glared at Wufei. "How am I supposed to gather all of the required intelligence if I am not permitted to ask questions of the people who have the information?"

"Sex is a private subject," Trowa inserted himself between Heero and Wufei before it could get bloody. Lion taming was baby-giggles safe comparatively. Quatre would be pleased that he'd avoided bloodshed. He'd have to play up the danger side, do a little quivering, and add in a touch of big, frightened eyes. Even miffed, Quatre shouldn't be able to resist comforting him. "It's not proper to just ask people to show you how it's done."

Heero snorted. "Chang has had sex. He is my ally. Why shouldn't I ask him to show me?"

Trowa refrained from grinding his teeth. He was a patient man, really. "Duo would be angry if anyone else touched you sexually."

Heero looked momentarily nervous and terrified. "Understood."

Wufei muttered something unprintable in Mandarin, then began dressing himself.

Heero returned to his book and eyed the section with ambiguous trepidation. "Barton, have you done this rimming?"

Trowa tried to decide if it was really worth answering these questions. He pictured Quatre's pert little butt, bent over with his cute little gate to paradise winking a fond hello. "Yes."

Wufei squeaked and rushed into his clothes.

"Did you rim or were you rimmed?"

Trowa shrugged and watched, with a great deal of amusement, as Wufei turned several shades of red and tried to pretend he wasn't listening. "Both. It's enjoyable."

Heero consulted the book for a few moments while Trowa resumed his seat on Heero's bed. "What is the best way to do it?"

Wufei had tied his sash a little too tightly since his eyes were bulging out of their sockets.

Trowa smirked. "Have you kissed Duo? Tongue in the mouth, hands on the butt, check to see if he has tonsils kissing?"

Heero nodded curtly. "Affirmative."

"Just do that to his anus."

The ninmu ryoukai expression briefly crossed Heero's face.

Wufei sighed and opened the drawer on his bedside table. He removed his small collection of sporks and began to examine with the same care and attention he generally reserved for his katana. "Barton, I don't know which is worse, the fact that Yuy can ask these questions without expression of the fact that you can answer them without vocal inflection."

"It's simple, Wufei. I think of paper clips."

Wufei blinked. "Paper clips?"

Trowa nodded.

Wufei blinked again, then looked thoughtful.

Heero suddenly glared. "It is too unsanitary to stick my tongue inside of his anus. No matter how often he scrubs, he will not be able to clean inside."

Wufei grimaced and pointedly tested the heft and straightness of a spork. Nodding in satisfaction, he tucked it carefully into a pocket.

Annoyed, Trowa helped himself to the Joy of Gay Sex and flipped through it until he found the section on enemas. He dropped it into Heero's lap, pointed to the start of the section, and began chanting a litany. Helping Heero will get me a reward fuck from Quatre. It was working. Barely.

Looking smug, Wufei shouldered his knapsack. "I am going to the library to study."

Heero grunted, but didn't look up from his research.

Trowa decided not to point out that it was after hours and that Wufei had just spent an hour in personal grooming and put on his best clothes to go study. Wufei had a date, though he couldn't figure out the spork thing, and that meant that Wufei would be gone for a while. All he had to do was convince Heero to go visit Duo's room to practice kissing and then get Quatre here for his reward. He didn't expect any difficulties with either portion of the plan. Simple.

"Paper clips, Barton?"

Trowa smirked again. "It'll be amusing to watch him try to think about paper clips when he's in the middle of a justice rant. His brain will throw its transmission all over his mental highway."

"You're mean."

"Thank you."

With a grunt, Heero returned to the book. Trowa stifled a sigh and sat on his bed with a his literature homework. Just as he'd gotten into the story, Heero looked up, confusion all over his face. "But Duo doesn't appear to have problems with constipation."

Maybe getting his reward fuck wouldn't be quite so simple.

Sometime way before oh-dark-thirty....

Heero slipped in through the window, stomped over to Quatre's bunk, and kicked it.

"Wha--?" Quatre jerked upright, the gun in his fist pointing at Heero.

"Barton wouldn't show me how to do oral sex with Duo. He said he couldn't explain it either." Heero glared. "Do something."

Duo abruptly sat up in his own bed.

Quatre shook his head and blinked. "What?"

"Barton wouldn't show me how to do oral sex."

Quatre closed his eyes and rubbed at his forehead with the back of the hand that still held his gun. "You actually asked Trowa for oral sex?"

Heero glared harder.

"You asked my Trowa for oral sex?"

"I would have asked Chang, but he went to go study."

Quatre sighed and somehow managed to pry his fingers off of his gun. "This isn't working, Heero."

Heero crossed his arms over his chest. "Chang is a diligent student."

"That's not what I meant. Look, I'll go back to your room, you stay here with Duo. I'll figure it out in the morning." Quatre climbed out of bed and pulled on his robe. "Please don't ask my Trowa to help you with sex again. If you have any more questions, ask Duo."

Heero blinked. "But Duo has no sexual experience and Barton does."

"Duo is your boyfriend. Trowa is mine."

"Shit, Q, don't go all Zero now. I'll help Spandex Boy out, okay? You just go make lovies with Forelock now. He's probably all spazzed out so bad that he's got himself a mohawk. It's okay, I promise," Duo soothed. "No one touched Trowa but you. He's okay and untouched and just fine. All you have to do is go see your guy. He's probably got himself all worked up into a tizzy. Well, a tizzy that has no expression and doesn't require movement, but a Trowa-tizzy. Your man needs you, Q-babe." Duo smiled gently in the moonlight. Heero opened his mental thesaurus and chose lovely, fey, and jealousy.

"Just put a leash on him, Duo," Quatre growled, opening the door. "Putting the moves on my Trowa. The nerve."

The door slammed shut.

"Are you nuts? You asked Quatre's man for a blow job?"

"Rimming, too."

"Yuy! Are you insane?" Duo leaped to his feet and yanked on his braid. "Q-man will do some seriously deranged shit to you if you ever touch his man."

Heero looked at his feet and told himself that he was only doing so to make sure they were still there. He wasn't blushing, either. It was just warm in the room. "I wanted to make sure that I know what to do to make it good for you."

Duo sat down in a rush. "Aww, shit, man." That sounded more like vulnerable awe than disgust. Heero peeked through his bangs to see Duo chewing on his bottom lip and wringing his braid in between his hands. "Do you remember when we kissed back at Peacemillion?"

He definitely was not blushing. The thermostat was broken. He made a mental note to check into fixing it the next day. "Yes."

"You didn't know what to do then and you made it very, very good for me." Duo smiled wistfully. "Sex isn't that complicated, Heero. You just do what feels good. You'll know if it makes me feel good."

He furrowed his brow. "How?"

"You just will."

Heero shook his head. "I don't understand."

Duo's lip nibbling picked up speed. After a moment, he let go of his braid and leaned back, hands braced on the bed behind him. "Come here, Heero."

Slowly, a bit unsure of what was expected, he made his way to the bedside.

"I want to show you. Will that be okay?"

Heero nodded so hard, his bangs flopped into his eyes.

Duo's smile brightened into something incredibly sexy. "First things first. Take your clothes off."

He nearly ripped his tank top yanking it over his head and didn't quite recall touching his spandex when he peeled the shorts off. In the back of his mind, something was protesting that this was all wrong.

Duo's quiet laugh echoed through the room. "That was enthusiastic."

Heero paused, frowning.

"No, that's not bad. Enthusiasm is good." Duo leaned forward to wriggle his tongue in Heero's belly button. "I like enthusiasm."

"Are we having sex?"

"Sssh, lay down with me." Duo stretched, arching his upper torso, and pulled his tee shirt off.

"But aren't we supposed to lie on opposite bunks?"

Duo stopped, the shirt dangling from his fingers. "What?"

"I'm supposed to lie there, pretending to sleep while I watch you through half-lidded eyes because I can't deal with my emotions and I can't be a perfect soldier if I give into emotional weakness and love you. And you're supposed to lie here, in boxers, thinking about me and jacking yourself off because you're afraid I'll hate you if you let me know that you're in love with me. And I don't get to jack off at all, even though you get to come and I lay there and watch you and think about how sexy you are, because perfect soldiers don't get to have sex and sex leads to long and painful retraining with Dr. J anyway."

Duo blinked. "That's it, you're officially cut off."

No! He hadn't had sex yet, how could Duo cut him off now! Heero felt himself beginning to panic and couldn't quite stop it.

"Idiot. From those stupid simulated fangirl missions of yours. No more! Fangirls are evil! I'll never get a proper shag out of you if you keep trying to do whatever the fangirl horde writes, Heero!"

He'd said that out loud? "We can have sex, then?"



"Just take off my boxers and shut up."

"Ninmu ryoukai."

Duo grinned. "God, I love it when you talk dirty to me, stud."

Heero grinned back, just a little, and pressed his fingers to Duo's waist. His baka's skin was hot enough to melt steel and harden flesh. He forgot how to breath when Duo moaned softly. He curled his fingers into the waist band of the elegant black silk boxers with smiley faces, leering chile peppers doing the limbo across the fly, a phrase that proclaimed the wearer a "cereal killer", another phrase that said "one tequila, two tequila, three tequila floor", and rows of chibi Deathscythes doing the Macarena. Heero decided that he would never get enough of the feel of Duo's flesh against his own.

"Take 'em off for me, 'Ro. You gotta make me naked if you want to have sex with me."

Shivering at the absolutely delicious thought of Duo naked, he tugged the boxers off and threw them over his shoulder. With his braid spilling across the black satin sheets and his gorgeous, deep, sexy, soft, jeweled amethyst orbs smiling a sultry come and hither the fuck out of me, baby, Duo was the picture of utter beauty. The slivered moonlight kissed his creamy, perfect skin that flowed like silk over the lithe, yet strong boy's muscles that were the epitome of beauty that was sexual that was Duo Maxwell.

Heero didn't really notice. His cock stood up and screamed, "I wanna fuck you like an animal!" and nothing else penetrated his lust fogged brain. Except penetrate. Ooh yeah, penetrate is good. Not just good. Gooood good. He direly hoped that he hadn't just said that out loud because then he'd sound like a moron and it wasn't likely that his baka would let a moron penetrate him.

"Lay down next to me, lover."

He was there before the sentence was over. Everything he'd read in the past few hours, everything Barton had told him fled. All he could recall was that Duo was naked. In bed. And naked. Next to him. Naked!

"Now touch me."

His hand quivered, reaching forward. "Where?"

"Anywhere." The long, breathy sound of his naked baka's voice jolted him all the way to his cock. Slowly, he moved his hand until his fingers brushed his naked baka's hip. Duo exhaled in a rush.

A moment later, his naked baka's fingers touched his chest, petting slowly over his pectoral to stop over his nipple. He felt a groan welling up from his groin. One finger rested on his suddenly erect nipple, as if pressing a button. Hesitantly, he trailed his own fingers along his naked baka's belly to his naked baka's chest. He found a nipple there, already standing into his touch, and tweaked it. His naked baka gasped and arched into his fingers. He liked that. A lot. The fingers on his own chest moved, teasing his flesh, then returning to his nipple for a sharper pinch.

"Do you like that, 'Ro?"


"Do you want me to suck on you?"

"Yes, please," he heard himself whine.

Duo chuckled and leaned down. His fingers slid along his naked baka's chest, up across his collarbones and into his hair. Duo sucked on him, as promised. He took Heero's nipple into his mouth and laved it with his tongue. It was hot and it was wet and it was so good. The only thing his brain was doing was gasping and moaning.

"Do you like that?"

The vibrations of Duo's voice against his erect flesh sent a shiver directly to his groin. "Yes," he hissed.

"Try doing it to me, see if I like it."

He firmly rolled his naked baka onto his back and leaned over him. He paused long enough to press a soft kiss to his baka's mouth before nuzzling down his chest to find his nipple. Duo's chest quivered under his lips. He slowly licked the small nub, tasting the texture before worrying it gently with his teeth. Duo gasped and arched into him. He could feel his naked baka's erection tracing a wet line against his thigh.

"You like that," he said, amazed.

Duo smiled at him. "See? It's not that hard, 'Ro."

Heero smirked and thrust himself against Duo's leg. "Yes it is."

Duo laughed. "Touch me some more."

He let his hands wander everywhere, mapping the valleys and hills of Duo's ribs, the cliffs of Duo's pecs, the plateaus of Duo's belly, the ridges of Duo's pelvis. He humped and couldn't stop it. It seemed to be involuntary, like breathing or blood filtration in his kidneys.


"Mmm? Ooh, a little to left, baby."

A little to the left would put him at Duo's cock.

"Could you check?"

Duo nudged his hips over, trying to bring his erection into contact with Heero's hand. "Eh?"

"My hungness status." The icy blast of fear threatened his hard penis. He frowned and concentrated on the feel of Duo's skin under his fingers and scent of Duo's hair in his nostrils.

"Touch my cock."

"Did you hear me?"

"Nnng, my cock, Heero. C'mon, touch me. I wanna cum."

Heero frowned and pulled his hands away.

"Awww, what'd you do that for? Don'tcha wanna fuck me?"

Irritation was starting to make a solid dent in the haze of his sexual excitement. "Baka. I cannot have sex with you if my penis isn't within specifications. Since you haven't informed me what the required specs are, you'll have to check."

Duo pouted. It was adorable. "You just want me to give you a handjob."

Heero sighed. "If you touch mine, I'll touch yours. Though I cannot promise I'll let go if I'm not adequately hung."

"Shit, you're fucking obsessed, you know that?"

Nevertheless, Heero was pleased to feel his--naked!!--baka's hand moving purposefully down his belly to curl around his cock. He closed his eyes, held his breath, and clamped down as hard as he could to keep from ejaculating immediately. Once he got his breathing under control, he sought out his baka's erection and palmed it. It was hot, and long. It was surprisingly dry considering the wet trails it had been leaving across his leg earlier. He rubbed his thumb over the flared tip in circles, feeling the slick moisture, and heard his baka cry out sharply. It sounded like pleasure and set his nerves screaming to stick his cock someplace, preferably inside of his baka.

"D-Duo?" He clenched his teeth and reached for control. It wasn't easy with those finger playing over his shaft. "Am I within specs?"

"Yeah, your little soldier is perfect. Better than perfect."

The hand pulled away and his penis mourned the loss. He heard something plastic clicking then a liquid splort that vaguely resembled a rude bodily noise that Wufei always blamed someone else for. Confused, he stilled his own movements. A few moments later, the hand was back, this time slippery with some sort of wetness.

"Lube, here, try it."

The hand twisted and pulled, rose and fell, jerked and pushed. It was better than anything he'd ever felt in his entire life. It was better than a ninmu kanryu. It was better than a thousand ninmu kanryu's. Hastily, he squirted the lube into his own hand and grabbed at Duo's hard cock. Duo whined in the back of his throat and Heero just had to chase it with his tongue.

His hips writhed and thrust, working himself in his baka's fist. He returned the favor until his baka was gasping and squirming against him. The blood pounded in his ears, sounding like the distant roaring of Vernier engines. He could barely think of anything but his baka's hand, his baka's body, and the taste of the inside of his baka's mouth. He rolled, pressing firmly to Duo's body, holding him down and somewhat stilling his hips. He was still thrusting against Duo's hand, but Duo couldn't do likewise. He had to hold still and from the gasping and panting, it was a sensation that really worked for Duo. He slid his tongue back into his not-princess's mouth, lapping at his teeth. His baka was crying almost rhythmically into him and he was getting a little drunk on his baka's lust.

The hand on his cock shifted its grip, putting the pads of its fingers firmly onto the underside of the shaft. The movement went from sinuous to purposeful. The strokes were powerful and long, traveling from base to tip with a deft twist and a pressure that was almost too tight. His own hand mimicked the movements, only with less assurance since he could no longer feel anything but his erection and that wonderful hand. His baka lit a fuse that coiled through his balls with that insistent motion, a fuse that burned its way around until it set his cock off like a roman candle. He dimly heard his baka echoing his roar and felt the heat and stickiness coating his hand and belly.

"Baka," he groaned, falling limply onto the quivering, panting body beneath him.

on to chapter 18

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