The Price of Perfection
I watch him quietly out of the corner of my eye trying to figure out what is wrong with my koibito. He has been
acting strange of late and today isn't any better. The mission was an easy one, I could have done it alone, but the
docs insisted I take him with me. He made it through fine, but when he had exited Deathscythe he looked like hell
warmed over. He barely said a thing and headed straight for the safe house only to lock him self in the bathroom
for what seemed like forever. Okay yeah I know that is normal, but I could have sworn I heard him vomiting. I had
left the room before he exited the bathroom to go check my laptop currently set up in the living room.
I watched him slowly come down the stairs and enter the kitchen. He looks like hell. I slowly walk up behind him as
Quatre speaks to him. I don't understand why, but I have been feeling very protective of him lately. He seems so
I slip my arm around his waist and pull him close, feeling him tense slightly. Possibly due to the fact I haven't really
shown my feelings for him so openly before, but I feel the need to do so now. I nuzzle his neck feeling the silky skin
and inhale the scent of his freshly cleaned hair. I am shook from my thoughts by his voice. Not wanting to be
disturbed from this moment, I only grunt in response and let him know exactly what I am thinking by nipping lightly
at his ear. A small groan tells me that my ministrations are working. If he could only realize that I am always here
for him. I am not going to leave him, at least not purposefully. I know he is hurting, but I still can't figure out why?
My koi interrupts my train of thoughts once again. "Heero? What are you doing?" What do you think, baka. I am
finally doing what you have tried to get me to do for so long. I am showing everyone just how much you mean to
me. I am sorry I am still unable to vocalize my feelings, but I can still physically show them. I turn him to face me,
still feeling his struggle to escape my embrace. Our eyes meet and I see the pain and anguish he is feeling.
"What?" He asks and I realize that my mask has completely fallen. I am afraid for him. For there is something that
he is still hiding from me and I can feel, no I can see it in his eyes that it is eating away at him. I kiss him gently, not
wanting to be the cause of any of the pain he is feeling.
"Well either get a damn room or sit down and eat Maxwell and Yuy. It is getting cold." Wufei loudly announces, and
let go of my koi, wishing we could just go get that room and talk. There is definitely something bothering him, but I
settle instead on watching his retreat towards the table, noticing he doesn't seem to walk with the grace he used
to. After dinner we will have that talk if it kills me, I think to myself and join the others at the table.
Duo is being awfully quiet and hasn't even started eating his food. I don't seem to be the only one noticing this as
Quatre vocalizes his concern. "Daijobu ka?" He asks Duo who noticeably flinches. "Hai. Hai, just a little tired that's
all." He says trying to smile, but failing miserably. I know he isn't lying, but he isn't telling the whole truth either. I
want to just pull him into my arms and tell him everything is okay. It hurts me to see him this way. I find myself
getting angry, not so much at him, but at myself, for not knowing what could be causing him this much pain. Still
scowling at myself I fill my plate watching him out of the corner of my eye, studying him, and berating myself for
not having any answers.
We continue to eat in quiet, which unnerves everyone at the table. Duo was always the one to start the
conversation and with him being mute, no one seemed to want to change the pace. Watching Duo painfully?.yes he
seems pained at having to eat all the food placed in front of him, yet when he finishes off his plate, he reaches for
more and stuffs it down like his old self. He is looking worse after finishing off the second plate and excuses himself.
Placing his dishes in the sink he all but runs up to our room.
Watching him leave, I feel a part of me snap. It hurts like hell. I don't quite know how to explain it, but I feel like
part of my soul has been ripped from me when he left the kitchen. I turn to see all eyes fixed on me, eyes filled with
concern and demands for answers. I know I can't answer their question, which I am sure are the same I want
answered. But of course I am not let off the hook as they start their interrogation.