Life, I have found, was more circular than linear. And although cyclical in nature, I tend to believe the way a person confronts life, their attitude towards it, was more like how a pendulum swings. Starting at a young age, the weight hangs balanced and moderate. As a person grows and their personality begins to develop, the pendulum swings, and continues to swing until death stills its movement.
The impetuousness of youth on the far left counterbalanced with the fundamentalism of age on the extreme right and the moderate, more temperate position in the middle. Each pendulum swings at its own pace, its own arc defined by its creator much the same as people live, sliding through each phase in the passing of their pendulum swing. Some pendulums swing wide, in a full one hundred-eighty degree arc, while others are confined to a narrow angle and a good many fit in the range between the two.
My fulcrum allowed its movement to swing from one extreme to the other; erratic in pace at times and even given not completing a full curve before beginning its downward stroke. Heero's arc was narrower in scope, oscillating with an even tempo. A scant handful of events brought his pendulum out of its normal parameters, and then, only during the wars. I couldn't claim such restraint, growing up as I had led to my unpredictable nature.
Where these thoughts had come from, I could only hazard a guess. The fact I laid at Heero's side gently swaying in our oversized hammock strung between two trees in the back yard watching the wind rustle the leaves, might have something to do with it. Listening to him breathe lightly in a half doze and remembering how far we'd come from our first meeting those few short years ago was most likely the reason.
Our pendulums, Heero's and mine, each had its own pace; its own arc and neither seemed inclined to match the other. But we had a rhythm together. His swung in steady motion, a constant beat, while mine sped through its arcs in perfect counterpoint, wild and fast at times and others coming close to a standstill.
Though I tried to not look too far ahead, I could almost see a time when our lives, our swings would be in sync working together in tandem for awhile; neither fighting the other for the dominant beat. As it was, being at odds with one another was at least a weekly event.
I heard the change in his breathing, and turned my head to watch his eyelids flutter open. Heero's lips twisted into a grin as he caught me staring at him and I shrugged slightly without offering an explanation.
As though he could see the thoughts laying behind my eyes, his hand sought mine and he gave it a slight squeeze. I realized then, that maybe I didn't have to look ahead, that maybe I should be living the rhythm of our lives now.