Disclaimer: I dun own them. Hell I don't technically own this plot! This story is based on The Chinese Box, one of those low budget movies that I just happened to pass by. I didn't like it as all, so I rewrote it. And I don't own GW or anything.. 'cept maybe the plot changes. Oh well, this is my pride and joy, so have fun reading it!
Pairings: 1+3, so far.
Warnings: OOC, angst! There's, like, ONE lemon scene, a lot of cuss words ('cause Duo's a potty mouth), yaoi. Oh, there's a lotta bad things that happen to some of the characters, so you might get mad. The guys are around 25 or 26-ish years old. Except Duo. He's around 22, 'cause this is an AU story. Shonen Ai so far. Deathficcy Mebbe That's about it, I guess. ^___^
The L2 Box
I came into Trowa's bar. I call it his because he co-owns it with some other partner of his. I think Ralph was his name. I always come to Trowa's bar whenever I feel depressed. He always listens, even when I have nothing to say. Sometimes we just sit there at the bar in companionable silence. But this time, it's different. After finding out about my illness, I found the courage to finally go and confess to Trowa. I finally made my mind to speak up and tell him that I loved him.
I entered the room and sat down on my usual stool, waiting for Trowa to finish up with the other customers. He nodded to me, telling me he'd be over there in one moment.
"Yuy, the usual?" He asked, already preparing my usual drink. I gave him a small nod. After this drink, I'll tell him. While mixing my drink, I observe that he seems unusually cheery today. Now is the perfect opportunity. But, god, I'm such a bad conversationalist. I don't even know howto start. Should I just blurt it out? Would that be too rash? Starting a conversation, he asked me, "How have you been since you fainted at Quatre's house?" I can feel myself wince internally.
"The doctors told me I overworked myself. I need a little rest." I lied, shrugging my shoulders. I didn't want him to know how sick I was. I didn't want him to be trapped with me, knowing that I would die soon. Somehow, though, it felt wrong. Lying to someone you loved. I ignored my conscious. There were better things to worry about. Right now, I wanted to free myself of the heavy burden, I wanted to tell him I loved him. I was tired of the heavy feeling in my chest whenever he was around. I didn't want to hide my feelings anymore, knowing that I might never have a chance to tell him later. He gave me a skeptical look after my lie, but handed over my drink. Even if he knows I'm lying, he understands that I have a reason not to tell the truth. He understands me so well. It's one of the reasons I love him so much. OK. Deep breathe. Take a sip. Another deep breathe. Show time.
"I've got something to tell you." I say to him, realizing that he had just said the same exact thing to me.
"You first." I offer. He nodded, giving one of his extraordinary smiles.
"I'm engaged." .. That came really unexpected and I was speechless. I think a minute passed by when his grin began to fade as he stared at me, waiting for my reaction. But I was to busy staring back at him, processing the information. Engaged? Trowa? When? Where? What? Who? "Quatre asked me, last night." He added, as though he had just read my mind. He was beginning to get worried because of my silence. What was I supposed to say? He loved Quatre. How was I supposed to tell him I loved him now? This was all wrong. How long had he been seeing Quatre? I've been wasting my time pining away over some guy who was in love with my other best friend. Yes, this was definitely all wrong. "Aren't you happy for us, Heero?" Trowa finally asked nervously. Numbly, I nodded. I had to swallow the lump in my throat down in order to talk.
"I'm very happy for you, Trowa." I manage to say, even though it was a lie. Inside, I wasn't feeling anything, much less happy. "Especially to Quatre. I don't think you could have found a better fiancée." I feel sick and didn't feel like confessing anymore. Baring my soul to him seemed worthless now. He loved someone else. Not me. No matter what I told him, he would keep on loving Quatre, not me. So that was that. I kept my mouth shut and gulped all the pain down with another sip of alcohol. I could have just blurted out to Trowa that I loved him, but I didn't want to create any ruckus. Trowa was my best friend and so was Quatre. Quatre's one of the most generous and caring of people. They deserved each other more than I deserved Trowa. I couldn't ruin our friendships just for myself. Just forget it and let them be happy. I tell myself. But it's so hard to do. Every moment I spent now with Trowa hurt so much. He was sitting right next to me, but I knew he was way out of my grasp. My chest felt irregular, like they should be shaking with sobs that I refused to let out. And then I just couldn't bear it anymore.
"I'm sorry Trowa. I forgot. I have an interview in half an hour. I need to go home and change. I have to go." I lied, standing up and ready to leave.
"But you said you had something to tell me." Trowa remembered. I shook my head.
"It's not important. Don't worry about it." Another lie. Great, I'm on a roll.
It had been a few minutes since I had paused typing and sat there, staring out the window. The phone rang a few times, but I let the answering machine take care of it.
"Heero... This is Relena."
There was a couple was outside on the street laughing loudly. Even though they were soaked and would probably get sick, they danced around, tilting their head up to try and catch the cold raindrops on their tongue and smiling at each other. The guy twirled his girlfriend around, dancing in the rain. She laughed to heartily, and I recalled that I had never made anyone feel so content that way.
"You haven't contacted me in over half a year."
I watched the man pull his love into his arms and kiss her soulfully in the midst of the pouring rain, oblivious to everything else around the two.
There was a pause from the machine, Relena biting her lip in anxiety.
"I found out about your illness. Come back to Earth Heero. Onegai. There are medical operations that may be able to fix it. I'm not sure if it will work or not, but you have to give it a try. There isn't enough technology on L2. At least, come back to me, Heero. I can't stand the thought of you there alone on that godforsaken colony. You need someone to take care of you. Come back home to me. I want to help you." Another hesitant pause, "I want us to try again. I want to be with you again. Onegai. Call me back?"
As though I hadn't even heard the message, I continued to watch the couple through the window until they had left, running down the street, playing once again, like there wasn't a care in the world. It awed me. Even in L2, the trashed colony, some people were able to find some happiness. It made me look within myself. All my life, I'd been working, duty before pleasure. It was kind of sad. What was the point of my life anyway? Even if I lived, I would just go on the same way I had, reserved, eccentric, . alone.
The past week I couldn't stop thinking about Trowa and Quatre. It feels as though I'm losing everything. First this damn sickness, then my only love, then I know I'm going to lose my life. I could go back to Relena. But I didn't love her. Not the same way she loved me. I'm sure she had a crush on me, but she'd grow up and fall in love with someone else more suited for her. I'm sure I could never give her what she was looking for. She'd have someone. Trowa and has Quatre. Even Wufie had someone waiting for him on L5. Suddenly, I felt so alone, cold and depressed. There was no one for me. No one for me to dance in the rain with and kiss and hold. No one. It'd be better to just end everything now than to suffer more, right? I was tired of my life. Yes, I'm feeling suicidal. Wouldn't you? Hell, I'm already dying! At least I'm doing something right! I wasn't going to try and find a cure for my cancer. Why bother living when I had nothing to live for? I decided to let fate take its path.
A part of me felt guilty, for wanting to leave all my friends and not even telling them I was sick. But, I wanted to live the rest of my short life normally, making sure no one found out about my illness. I hated and didn't want their pity. That was the last thing I need, for people to pretend they care for me when they really don't. Like I was inferior to them because I was sick. I guess I've made up my final descisions. Kind of Depressing. At least everything will end soon.
Before the couple had appeared before my window, I'd had been thinking about Trowa and my life. It had all turned out so ugly. Not Trowa, no, he'd always be beautiful and picture perfect. I'm talking about the whole situation. Having another friend snatch him away before I even had the chance. Was there anything worth living for in this dull place? Was there any beauty at all? I was answered while watching them. They looked so beautiful, so perfect together. I wanted to experience that myself, but it was impossible. No one would want me, a sickly, unlovable, sour person. The only way to show my passion was through writing. I suddenly came up with my final mission. I wanted to capture the whole place and show that there was beauty after all in this colony. Even if it would be hard to find, I wanted to get it. I'd put it on paper to show everyone that I was able to catch something pure and innocent, not the dark, brooding material I usually write about. Something for them to remember me by. Tomorrow or the nextday, I will go search.