Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing…so don’t think of suing.

Pairings: Does it matter, I am pretty predictable.
Rating: R

Notes: This is a line challenge by Chibi Angel…belive it was the gw_fan
Use the Following lines:
"I am NOT a slut!" preferably try Heero or Wufei. ^_^ Anyone but Duo.
"Did I fall off the couch?" "Yes, you fell off the couch." "But... I could've sworn I was ON the couch before..." "..." "WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP ME?"
"I wonder if he dreams about sex?" "Everyone dreams about sex!" "But... I don't think he's everyone..." not about Heero 'cos that's too typical. Preferably not about Wufei.
"Alright, I swallowed mercury and survived, I think I can take a couple extra Tylenol’s." not Duo.

Mission: Bodyguards
by Lady Tora

The five Gundam pilots are sitting in a waiting room like office as their mission stated.

Duo looked at Heero carefully, "You are such a slut."

"I am NOT a slut!" Heero growled.

"You are a slut puppy, admit it." Duo grinned as the others snickered, "Well, who in this room hasn’t had sex with Heero? Quatre? Trowa? Wufei?"

"I hate you." Heero sat back in his chair and crossed his arms.

"And I hate you for not inviting me." Duo copied the other as Heero’s eyes got wide as he muttered ‘Damn’ under his breath.

A loud thud was heard; Trowa opened a wide green eye and rubbed his sore bum from the fall. "Did I fall off the couch?"

"Yes you fell off the couch." Quatre giggled in his cup of tea.

"But I swore I was ON the couch before…"

"…" Quatre nearly spat the warm tea into the cup, before it detoured through his nose.


Shaking his head, Wufei piped up, "It seemed more entertaining that way. Long banged baka. Ooh…sounds good two ways, long haired baka and long banged baka." Wufei looked all smug with the new discovery.

"You got long hair too, baka. Jeez, did anyone tell you about white after Labor Day? Ick."

Growling, Trowa made his way back up on the couch and went back to sleep. The soft falls of breath showed he was in deep slumber, but with a curious grin on his face.

"I wonder if he dreams about sex." The blonde blushed and held the teacup over his mouth.

A violet eye peered open, "Everyone dreams about sex!" Duo stood up beside Heero and leaned against the wall, "Even Heero does! Wakes me up with that damn thing too. I don’t poke you do I?" He hit the boy with the end of his braid repeatedly.

Now in a world of shame, Heero ducked his head in his hands and stifled a moan.

"But…I don’t think he’s everyone…" Quatre looked over the lithe form, a dribble of drool pool forming at the edge of Trowa’s mouth.

"Now exactly where are we and what are we doing?" Wufei looked out the window of the cramped office.

"We are guarding Relena as she sees her gynecologist.." Heero murmured ‘better him than me’, then shuddered and clasped onto Duo’s braid for protection.

Turning green, Wufei stumbled backwards, "This…where…on’nas’…OH KAMI!" He passed out, limbs twitched a bit.

"Wuss!" Duo shook his head as a nurse ran up to him.

"Sir? Are you okay?" The girl became frantic, not being used to this type of patient.

Groaning, Wufei touched the back of his head, feeling for any blood. "Yah…um…where did you just come from?"

"I had to check a patient and I saw you on the ground."

"Oh Kami!" He passed out again.

"Wuss." Quatre said as he set the teacup down, "Try going with twinty-nine sisters."

After getting Trowa off the couch so Wufei could sit down to get the blood rush in the right direction; (author coughs, Wrong Hentais!) The nurse gave him a cup of water and some Tylenol.

"Um miss, or what ever you are, I take four."

"You cannot handle four since the incident. What was it again?" Duo began to swing his braid, barely hitting Heero in the head.

"Alright, I swallowed mercury and survived, I think I can take a couple extra Tylenol’s." he grunted as the nurse smiled and handed him the bottle.

"You guys are so gay." The nurse scoffed and walked away.

"That is an insult to gay people, we like sexually challenged!" The American had to say it, but then looked over at a happy Wufei with a full bottle of pills. "Too much candy for Wufei." Duo snatched the bottle. "And look Heero, it's the good stuff."

"Hn… If you didn’t spend so much money on lu- oh forget it. Hit me."

Instead, Duo did the opposite and kissed the top of his head, "Not when you expect it koibito."

From the side door, a doctor walked out with a long white coat. "Now, I expect one of you to be the father?"

All eyes went to Heero.

"I am a slut…not stupid."


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