Disclaimer: Ne, you know me, broke, no own the bishies ... or anything for that matter.

Category: FUFT- Fucked Up Fairy Tale
Rating: Sure in hell isn’t ‘G’
Pairing: 1x2x1
Warnings: Messed up, Nekkid Heero ... yada yada
Feedback: Send it vai: P.O. Box 69, Hell-hole, North Carolina 76667 (if anyone lives in Hell-hole, NC ... my apologies) hehe

Notes: Started by either Mina or me ... she is AWOL so I’ll pick up this one, although I know she would of wanted to do this. Also an Akuma cheer up ... poor dear. *huggles*

/ / Tora plotting
* * Relena Hamster bitching, Duo Neko hissing, Heero puppy annoying either pet ...

Emperor Heero’s New Clothes ... AKA: How Duo Got his Groove Back ...
by Lady Tora

/ Sitting at her desk, chewing down the last end of her pencil when she flung her arms open knocking over a small ball with a tiny fuzzy but pink creature off the desk

*squeak!!!* Relena’s little ball bounced in the pathway of a pair of glinting violet eyes.

The cat stretched lazily and pointed a large claw towards the cowering creature when the author made a sharp whistling sound.

*bark bark bark bark!!!* *Merow!*

Heero grinned evilly as the said neko was hanging from the ceiling with tail and braid shaking.

"Ne ... evil animals." Tora picked up the ranting ball and set it on her desk and listened to its usual demands for a story.

"You want Duo to trick Heero into being naked?"


"Oh sorry, nekkid." She drew out lewdly. See what I can come up with ... you seem to like to torture Heero more then me these days."

Relena rubbed her little puffy paws together and laughed as wickedly as she could- even though it came out sounding so damn cute!/

Sitting in his castle high Heero heard his father wale, "Son! Look at your clothing? Have you no pride?" He pointed downwards, "Your shoes are filthy and worn, your spandex is ripped and look at that shirt, nothing but tatters. Get yourself a tailor or give up your gun!" Of course we know that if it were up to us, he would always look like that-/gets hit and continues on/

Heero looked up abashed, "My gun? You wouldn’t?" His voice was soft and childlike ... his father would threaten him by making him do things like smile or be nice- but his gun. The situation must have been serious!

He made a proclamation to the land and they damn well better do what it said:

"Whoever could make the Emperor the best set of new clothing would get whatever they wanted or be put to death!"

The plan was perfect, get the clothes, keep his precious beloved gun and hope they kept up till the next time he was ranted on- which took approximately 10 days, 3 hours, 16 minutes, 9 seconds and .55 milliseconds.

On the other side of the little city ... which wasn’t very far off, a mysterious youth looked out his window to yawn at the new day, only to have a piece of paper stuffed in his mouth.

He pulled it out and gave the solider the finger- of course as the man was turned, didn’t want a confrontation: and he looked at the paper’s decree.

"New clothes eh? Well, so the little bratty son needs some new clothes." Grabbing his kit of supplies Duo ran off- which wasn’t very far to the castle.

Arriving at the gate about five minute later- I told you it wasn’t very far! Duo knocked on the door and waited to see the ‘so-called’ Emperor.

"Never did us any good, the lousy no good son-of-a-" he was cut off by the door opening to a lovely site ... well the guy was hot but his clothes sucked..

In front of the Emperor was a chattering woman who was telling him about the ‘fairy wing’ features and tugged on a little cord which made them flap cutely. His taffeta pick frilly skirt and puffy sleeve weren’t enough for the torture, but was added with a little wand and pink ice crown.

In the corner a group of young men were laughing ... or groping ... who knows. A priest named Wu, a teacher named Qu, and the banged friend named Trowa who held up a sign that said ‘ha ha’ ... ne, don’t look at me like that! It would of rhymed ... damn Trowa.

Heero pulled up a piece of the pink lace, "I don’t think I can go into war with this on."

The seamstress looked up and batted her eyes, "But sire, there are no wars."

"Give me a minute and I will make one." He stomped off and yelled "Next!"

Out he came with a yellow sweater and a pair of khaki pants. Cute, but not our little suicidal maniac.

He turned and looked, then saw a string and began to pull. He puled on the string till the sweater was now at his feet and he yelled at the poor woman who watered her eyes and stomped off.

Last up was Duo, he looked over nervously and cleared his throat. "Ne, sire ... what are you looking for in clothing? Leather? Pleather? Fishnets? Something to accommodate that nice rear and pretty tempting package?" He was drooling on the Swede shoes, which he would kick himself later for.

"I want clothing that I can move around in, to bend and not bunch, to turn and not get caught on something." Heero nodded in approval, "Also, a nice holster for my gun would be good too."

Duo clapped his hands and began to dig through his bag. He threw out some whips, leather, chains, lube, and a purple vibrator. "Damn, wrong bag ... " He looked again and began to panic. ‘I’m going to be killed if I don’t get some damn clothing for this armed nut ... wait ... ’ A grin came to the tailor’s face as he picked up what appeared to be nothing at all.

Heero’s flushed, "That?"

"It’s all the rage in France." Duo didn’t lie ... he was thinking of the nude beaches ... hentai.

Heero gulped and took the piece of air that appeared before him and went into the change area. "How in the heck do I put this thing on?" He looked at the piece of nothing in his hands and tried to figure out where the head hole was at, where the pants part was ... it was all too confusing.

"Want me to show you how?" Trying to pull up a sincere voice and ended up with a lewd one, Duo started up to where Heero was changing.

"No no ... I’ll figure it out." He thought of it as a jumpsuit and zipped the invisible zipper. He came out from behind the screen too show off his new duds. "How do I look?" He turned a bit, looking at his back and naked butt.

Wu and Qu dropped over from a nosebleed and Trowa held up a sign that had a drop of blood.

Duo grinned madly and drooled a bucket on his shoes, "Me like ... " His laugh was demented.

Heero noticed that he was duped into wearing nothing ... even worse having him ask on how to put it on. Picking up the prized gun he shot off a few round at Duo making him squeak in terror.

Running out of the castle full speed with a very mad and red Heero on his tail, Duo jumped carts and pushed little old ladies out of his damn way as the Emperor shot off a few rounds.

Some of the villagers looked at Heero a gasped at his nakedness. "At least he could of done is put a pair of socks on" "Is their a sock big enough?"

Duo was panting as he made his way almost to safety when a bullet hit its mark. He tripped to the ground panting as his hair came free and fell on him like a silk cape. He looked up and saw just an inch of hair shot off with the tie still attached. He whimpered and curled up in a little ball and sobbed.

Heero ran up and held his gun at point blank range but heard a sound. He let his arm fall to his naked side and walked up to the youth. "Hey ... " He touched his shoulder only to have it jerk away. Looking now more concerned he lifted up a piece of the hair, "I didn’t mean to hit your hair ... I only wanted to kill you."

Duo sniffed, "Really?"

"Yeah, forgive me?"

Duo nodded and took the offered hand and walked back to the castle.

A few days later, after the villagers saw Heero naked, it became a huge trend and the town became a nudist colony.

Heero asked Duo what he wanted in return for his ‘clothing’ and ended up getting hitched and forever stuck with the walking talking fur ball ... just as long as his kept his hair down. The precious gun was lost in the torrid love making when Duo dropped from the ceiling with nothing on but a smile.

Life was good ... everyone was naked ... and I got some pictures that cost $9.99 a piece.

Wu and Qu, "The end!" Trowa, hold up a sign that says ‘The End’.

/Entering the last bit Relena hamster looked happy and tucked away at the bottom of her little ball dreaming of nekkid bishies. Everything was almost perfect unless you considered Duo and Heero fighting in the kitchen ...

*bark bark bark bark!!!* *Merow!* /


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