Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or the characters of the series.
Bandai/Sunrise/Sotsu have that privilege. I am not making _any_ money from
this. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I doubt it will even
entertain. Please do not sue me, for I am but a poor, unemployed student.
Category: Yaoi, Angst, Bitchy Pilots?
Rating: NC-17 for sexual content, yaoi, coarse language, angst, violence,
grossness, general bitchiness, objectionable content, etc.
Warnings: Yaoi, LEMON, angst, coarse language, gross situations, medical
impossibilities, violence, OOC-ness, and general bitchiness
Feedback: Much appreciated! C&C is great. NO FLAMES!
Notes: Okay, I got in February (2001), and I wrote some of it then, but then
I forgot about it. I came across what I'd written and decided to pick up
where I left off. Unfortunately, I forgot what's supposed to happen in the
story, so I'm making it up as I go along. Here's the gist: I've always
wanted to write a fic where Heero and Duo _really_ didn't get along. This is
'words' - thoughts, //words// - flashback, [words] - dream sequence
A Hate-Hate Relationship
Clickety-click. Clickety-click. Clickety-click.
Glare. Smack. Smack. ...Pop!
Glare. Clickety-clickety-click. Click. Click.
Glare. Smack. ...Pop! Smack. Smack.
Glare. Clickety-click. Click. Click. Click.
Glare. Smack. Smack. Smack. ...POP!
"K'so! If you're going to chew that gum so damn loud, leave!"
At last, the test of wills came to an end. The past hour and a half had been
filled only with the clicking of keys and the smacking of bubble gum. But to
a certain two people, it was ninety minutes of torture. This little battle,
as well as most previous, had been lost by Heero. His patience worn thin by
the mere presence of the other boy, Heero's anger radiated from him in waves
of hatred. This radiation, while deadly to most, was easily deflected by a
"Why should I? That laptop of yours is portable, right? You leave." Duo
crossed his arms over his chest and propped up his feet on Heero's bed in
Heero's eyes narrowed, a dangerous indication. "No. You leave. Now."
Duo's smirk only widened. "Make me." He smacked his gum loudly as
Slowly, Heero rose from his seat and stalked over to where Duo sat, unmoving.
He leaned down until he was almost nose-to-nose with the Deathscythe pilot.
"If you don't leave this room right now, I'll cut off your hair while you
"You wouldn't dare," Duo hissed.
"Try me." Heero stood upright once more and walked to the door, holding it
open. "Now. Or you'll be bald by morning."
With much reluctance, and with the most malicious glare he could muster, Duo
got up and walked to the door. Just before he crossed the threshold he
stopped and turned to the object of his abhorrence, jabbing a finger angrily
into the other boy's chest. "Touch my hair and I'll cut off your balls and
shove them down your throat."
Heero only smirked. "I'll try to remember that."
At that, Duo stormed out of the room. Heero shut the door and locked it, but
the furious shouts of "Fucking bastard!" could still be heard down the hall.
* * * * * * * * *
"But... why? Why does it have to be me? One of the others -"
"No, Heero!" Dr. J's voice thundered over the vid link. "I will not
reassign you just because you have some problems with the boy. You'll just
have to get used to working with him."
Heero stifled a sigh, knowing it would only make the old man even angrier.
"It's not just some problems. We're total opposites; we have nothing in
"That's where you're wrong. The two of you share a common factor: you're
both soldiers. Both of you are fighting to protect the colonies. This isn't
marriage, Heero. It's not necessary for you two to get along. Just complete
the mission objectives."
"How can I do that if we can't even agree on strategy?" Heero was getting
frustrated. 'Why can't he see that it won't work? If he would just give me
someone else to work with...'
"Well, boy, your lack of strategy has worked exceptionally well thus far.
Like it or not, the two of you make the best team of the group. That being
the case, I refuse to reassign you. Any more complaints and you will be
punished for your insubordination." The old scientist's voice held a
sinister tone, one that Heero recognized all too well. His words held a
promise, not a threat. "Understood?"
Heero sat silent for a long moment. Then, he hung his head and voiced
Dr. J gave the pilot a malevolent smirk. "Good boy. By the way, you'll
receive your next assignment this evening. Luckily for you, it's a solo
mission." He paused a moment before adding, "Remember what I said. I will
not accept complaining from anyone, least of all you."
With that ominous warning, the connection was cut. Heero stared at the blank
screen for a while before slumping in his chair, suddenly feeling unusually
drained. He rubbed his hand across his face roughly, hoping to extricate
himself from the daze he'd somehow fallen into. 'At least I've got a solo
mission coming up. Then I won't have to be near that braided aberration.'
* * * * * * * * * *
In the kitchen, a similar scene was taking place.
"Duo, I really don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is Heero-fucking-Yuy!" The exasperated pilot threw up his hands
in frustration. "The guy's an asshole! How the hell am I supposed to work
with him? He won't listen to a damn thing I say!"
Professor G was not impressed. "You're not around him for extended periods
of time; only four to five days at the most. Can't you handle that?"
"No." Duo scrunched up his face into a deep scowl. "I can't."
"Do you want to put the colonies and all that you're fighting for at risk,
just because you dislike a fellow pilot? Because that's what you'll be doing
if you refuse to work with him." The scientist's voice was stern, much like
a parent scolding a young child.
Duo looked down, a little ashamed. 'I hadn't thought of it that way.'
"Well?" The old man did not sound happy.
"No. I don't want that." He looked up once more. "But I still think I'd
work better with one of the others. Let me work with Wufei, or any of the
others, just not with Heero. Please!"
Professor G let out a long-suffering sigh. "Well, contrary to what you
think, the two of you happen to be the most efficient team out of all you
pilots. As long as the missions get completed, you'll continue to work
primarily with Heero."
Duo slouched in his chair. "Sorry to disappoint you, but it's not
extraordinary teamwork that makes us efficient. The only reason we get the
job done so quickly is because we can't wait to get the hell away from each
"Too bad. I'm not changing your assignment. Get used to it. In the
meantime, you have a new mission coming up. You'll have the coordinates by
tonight. It's a solo job, so you won't have any problems with Heero on this
trip." The old scientist gave Duo what would have been a kind smile on
anyone else. On Professor G it only made him more frightening to look at.
Cutting the connection, Duo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right. 'Play nice,' my