Another Version of Events
by Karan Seraph
They were in the morning Yoga class. Heero has assumed the Corpse position as instructed by their teacher. He lay flat on his back, legs slightly spread, and arms limp on the floor with palms facing upward. His eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply as suggested. As he exhaled through his mouth, Heero heard laughter at his side.
That would be Duo, he thought.
"Your spirit soars..." their teacher said from the front of the room and this was to be part of their meditation. "Your mind is calm. You do not feel the need to laugh."
"Sorry. Morbid sense of humor," Duo said in a fairly convincing Scots accent. Heero heard him suck in a deep breath.
Heero focused on his own exercises. My body is rested, he thought in meditation. My mind is calm. My heart is at peace. My spirit sours.
"We will now maintain the Corpse position as we perform the sounding breath."
Heero remembered this from a previous class. He found the various exercises relaxing or otherwise conducive to building strength or flexibility. Duo was good at the positions that demanded flexibility but never seemed entirely at peace or in meditation. Heero thought that he might continue to learn about Yoga after this cruise, though some of the suggested meditations seemed sappy or flaky to him.
He was the student, so for the time being he focused on the thoughts he was instructed to. He performed the positions, breaths and stretches as he was shown.
Heero exhaled all the air he was able and then drew air slowly through his nose. He drew in air until he could not hold more. As he exhaled this time Heero controlled the flow of air from his mouth by contracting his throat. His breath was released slowly with a hissing sound. That, apparently was the 'sounding.'
"Repeat and meditate: you are at peace. All is well in your world."
Heero continued to breath in slowly through his nose and then exhale with that slow hissing. He did not hear laughter. Sometimes the prescribed breaths caused quite irregular breathing patterns that sounded funny to people. The Breath of Fire called for a sharp exhale through the nose, which often caused laughter and in some cases mucus to be expelled from the nostrils.
That had not happened to Heero, but it was rather disgusting to him, so he made sure to clear his nose before class.
I am at peace, Heero thought, all is well in my world.
"We will now complete with the Spirit meditation. Slowly rise from the Corpse..."
Duo snickered and Heero thought that was the imagery of a spirit rising from a corpse.
"Sit up. Be silent. Let your breath be slow and relaxed," their teacher said.
Heero crunched his abdominal muscles and sat, his legs folded comfortably in front of him. He let his hands touch his knees. He listened to the teacher and made the visualizations as she described. Heero imagined that the lower parts of his body were soil. The Earth, he thought. That made more sense to him. Warm and vital. He then imagined that the upper part of his body was like a beautiful white lotus blossom growing from that earth.
"Repeat the mantra, 'I am willing to embody my spirit,' three times as you make slow breaths."
Heero did this.
"Gaze deeply into the lotus blossom that is your spirit. What truths do you see? What message does your spirit have for you today?"
Heero knew that he should do this, but here he felt uncomfortable rather than at peace. He did not understand. He could hold the image of the earth and blossom inside himself, but it did not seem to say anything to him. So much of what was inside him was given to him by others. He understood looking into others better than he understood this.
When Heero felt like this, he told himself that this class was just too flaky for him. He did not require this religious or spiritual activity.
When the class was over Heero went with the others to put on his shoes. Duo lifted boots beside him. Today Tom was wearing jeans and a gray sweater. It seemed very casual for Duo.
Duo smiled to him as Heero stepped into his shoes. "You look mad. You blame me for laughing."
"No, I can see why that was funny to you."
"Hey, what's up then? Yoga's not supposed to stress you out."
Heero gave a nod toward the door and Duo walked from the classroom with him. "I did not understand the final meditation."
"Spirit Meditation? You can't get into that 'imagine you're a flower' bullshit?"
"I got that," Heero said bitterly, "The instructor said to look at the flower and see what is in it. It is supposed to tell you something."
"Well, the flower is just metaphor for what is inside of you."
"There is so much knowledge inside me. I do not understand what in particular I am supposed to know or access. So much or if comes from others or from practical experience..."
"You are not supposed to ask for knowledge. It's the Spirit meditation. You have more than just knowledge inside you, Heero. I know you do. A computer only has knowledge. You are more than a collection of ones and zeros. You have feelings."
"I was supposed to see my feelings?"
"Well, I think more than just feelings, but not just knowledge. Like, what is at the core of you." Duo tried to communicate his point with hand gestures. "Like, the kernel of who you are. The lotus is who you really are. You're supposed to see what kind of person you are."
"Like a mirror?"
"But a mirror only reflects the outside. You were supposed to know your soul."
Heero stopped walking. "Could you do it?"
"Uh, yeah, I guess. They sort of lose me with that weird imagery. I was thinking about that 'embody my spirit stuff.' I guess that really means: Can I be the person I really am? Can I be true to myself and not pretend and be false."
"It is not easy for you, but you can do it."
"Yeah. So, can you see inside yourself as well as you can see inside me?"
Heero thought about it. Who I really am? Be who I really am. Be who I should really be.
"You really do have trouble with this," Duo said.
"My soul says I should trust myself more. Value what I am."
Duo smiled warmly at him. "Yeah, that seems like what could be inside you. I trust you, so it'd be kinda weird if you didn't also."
"What should we do now? Do you have more work to do?"
Heero continued walking to their room and Duo followed. Heero shrugged. "I have been thinking of a few things I want to do. Some of them we could do together. What do you want to do?"
"Well, I guess I want to see the bay later, but you said when we get there they will cruise back and forth for hours so everyone has a chance to look. We have time to kill."
"We had breakfast. Not sure I feel like going to another class yet. Is the dance class fun?"
"It is ballroom dancing, and I am already at a more advanced level that those students."
"Yeah. I think the destination lecture would just bore me. How much could they say about whales and glaciers?"
"A lot, but you could find the same information on the 'net and learn at your own pace."
"Right. My thoughts, ya know? We could just go to our room and mess around."
Heero looked over his shoulder to see if anyone followed. There were some other passengers, but they were not very close. "I have been meaning to ask you what that means. What is the difference between 'have sex' and 'mess around' when you say it?"
Duo stretched his arms overhead as they came to the door of their room. "Mmmm, mess around is like the foreplay of sex without the understanding that it will eventually lead to sex."
Heero thought about that as Duo lowered his arms and opened the door. He saw the other passengers pass.
"You can hang out in my room for a bit, I've got a balcony where we can view the bay," Duo said for benefit of eavesdroppers.
"Thank you." Heero moved into the room.
Duo moved the indicator on the door to 'Do not disturb' and then shut the door entirely. It locked automatically.
Heero slipped the upper latch closed, to prevent anyone who might have a key from entering while they were inside. Duo was opening the balcony doors. Heero walked across the room and joined him. They could see island and mountains to the east.
"How do you know when it is just messing around, if you say you do not tease?"
"Because I say 'do you want to mess around?' or I say 'Baby, I want to suck you off right now' or I say 'Mmmm, I really want you, think you want to do something?'"
Heero got the idea. "I do not think you ever invited me to do that before?"
"We don't really get that much leisure time together."
"I think I would like to mess around with you," Heero said.
"I'd like to, but could you take the contacts out this time?"
"Yes." Heero waited to see if Duo said more then went to the bathroom to remove the brown contacts and place them in their container.
"I'll just be waiting, then," Duo called.
When the contacts were put away Heero looked in the mirror again. He saw his gray-blue eyes. The hair was still black, and the khakis and pale yellow shirt were as uncharacteristic. "Am I allowed to change clothes to mess around?" Heero asked, loudly enough for Duo to hear.
"You're allowed to 'get into something more comfortable' but you can't be naked. You should still have most of your body covered."
Heero went to the wardrobe. He removed the pants he was wearing, folded them, and placed them in a drawer. Heero took out his new vintage Levi's and pulled those on. He undid some buttons on his shirt, only enough to look comfortable. Heero stepped back into his shoes, but stepped out of them again as he came to the sofa where Duo was sitting. He sat down at Duo's left side.
"Hey," Duo said, voice gone a bit low. Heero thought it was done on purpose. He lifted Heero's right hand in his left hand.
"Hi," Heero said. He liked the handholding. Handholding was very subtle. They were also sitting quite close. Heero leaned a little, putting weight into Duo's arm.
Duo laughed softly. "Watch this slick move." He lifted his left hand to stretch as he yawned and when he put his arm down again, it was around Heero's shoulders.
Heero had seen that coming. He did not mind.
Duo reached across Heero's lap. There was just a second when Heero thought Duo's hand would reach elsewhere, but he only lifted Heero's left hand in his right. Their hands settled on top of their legs, as they touched. Heero felt the position was a little uncomfortable, until he realized that Duo's body was twisted now, his right shoulder no longer pressed to the cushion behind them.
Heero twisted his body like that. He shifted in his seat and moved his knees against each other before he felt more comfortable. He was not sure what to do with his right hand. It seemed like it should be on Duo's left thigh, but he was not sure if he should do that yet.
Heero lifted his eyes. Duo was smiling at him, amused. His thumb moved over the back of Heero's hand as he held it.
"All right?" Duo asked.
Duo laughed. He slipped his fingers from Heero's, and then moved his hand along Heero's forearm, over his shirt. Time passed. Heero did not feel uncomfortable, but he was kept anxious, wondering what Duo was going to do next, how far he would go, and whether he should try something himself.
Duo's hand moved to the upper segment of Heero's arm and rubbed there.
"You don't want to talk about anything?" Duo asked.
"Are we supposed to?"
Duo laughed. "We're supposed to be slowly distracting each other and pretending that we're here to talk or something."
"We could talk about the weather. They have weather here."
"How did you feel about the rain the other day?"
"I liked the rain," Heero said, "but it seemed to make you cold."
"A little. I like the idea of rain."
"It seems like a nice day today," Heero said.
Duo's hand moved to his shoulder and applied slight pressure that made Heero move his body toward Duo's. Duo was hugging him. Heero put his left hand to Duo's back.
"This feels nice..."
"Is it a natural fiber? I did not know you owned sweaters."
Duo leaned back, stopping the hugging. "You like the sweater?"
Heero smiled. He put his left hand to Duo's arm and rubbed it. "I like you too."
"I just got it. I stopped at this thrift store in San Francisco."
"Our shuttle flew into AES. I hopped up to Sitka on a plane."
Heero pulled at Duo's shoulder so that he would hug him again. "You are feeling better today, now that you finally rested after all that travel?"
"I don't even want to talk about travel, unless it's about all the places you are going to go with me."
Change of subject. "Cotton?"
"Yeah, I think both the sweaters are cotton. You don't think they are me?"
"I think they look good on you. They are not those sweaters with pictures on them and they are not too tight. I think they look nice."
"You do look good in those jeans."
"Thank you for buying them. I love them."
Duo moved his right hand from Heero's back to his thigh. "I like you in these. I am glad you thought about them. I'm sorry I teased you for talking about the jeans and that jacket."
"Maybe we can find more stores to collect old clothing we like in."
"They should have them in the cities we will visit."
"I was thinking about that. I am still not sure about all of the summer and fall, but I wondered if you would like to go to Japan sometime, maybe in late fall, or winter. One of those resorts where they have real snow."
"Do you ski?"
"I completed levels on a simulator. I actually want to try snowboarding. They have a simulator game in some arcades and clubs that I was good at. And I do know how to skate."
"Skateboard. Right. I guess we could, like in November. I bet you would look really good in some sort of ski clothes."
"I am sure you would too."
"Mmmm." Duo took his hand from Heero's thigh and touched it to his chest. He rubbed at each of Heero's nipples through the shirt and undid one button before taking his hand away. It left Heero a little stunned.
"That was slick," Heero said finally.
"You like that?"
Heero said nothing. Instead, he inclined toward Duo as he slipped his hand beneath Duo's sweater.
Duo opened his mouth, said nothing, but licked at Heero's lips.
Heero tugged at the ring through Duo's right nipple.
Duo kissed him deeply.
Heero lifted his left leg and swung it over his own leg and Duo's left as he twisted his body further. This forced Duo to lean back toward the couch and left Heero's back only slightly twisted as he straddled Duo's injured leg. It made it easy to touch Duo's chest, or his stomach. This position also made it a stretch to kiss Duo, though it put Heero's lips right at his neck.
Heero went for his neck.
"You're a little fast, Baby, but I think I like it."
"I can do this much for a very long time," Heero assured him.
"I'll let you take my shirt off if I can get yours," Duo offered.
"Accepted," Heero said. He moved the position of his hands to allow Duo to reach the buttons of his shirt. When they were undone, Heero freed himself from the sleeves. He lifted Duo's sweater and Duo leaned forward to let Heero get his arms and shoulders free. Heero helped Duo move the sweater over his head without taking off the black wig.
"This does not look bad," Heero said. "If you ever had to cut your hair, you would still look good."
Duo smiled briefly at that. He leaned away from the couch again to kiss Heero. "I missed you!" Heero gasped, then went right back to kissing Duo. Of course, what he really meant was that on occasion they got so focused on having sex as soon as they had a moment together that they did not kiss each other so much.
Heero still enjoyed the kissing very much. He generally liked this messing around, whether it was considered foreplay or not. The reason they had done it less, recently, was that they had not had time together in which they did not feel somehow desperate and pressured.
Things had been very punish me, suck me, fuck me and going until they needed sleep.
You know you have time now, Heero told himself. You will survive. You will finish this cruise. You will go to Hawaii with him. If you want to go slow, you can. If you feel like going slow today, that is all right.
Well, not too slow, Heero told himself. But he was happy they had the luxury of playing for a while.
Heero broke the kiss and lay against Duo. Their bare skin touched. Heero thought Duo felt warm. He did not want to move very soon.
"This is nice," Duo said. His hands moved over Heero's arms and his back. Heero liked the touching. It was soothing with a hint of exciting mixed in. Heero was sure Duo enjoyed it just as much. He knew he liked how Duo's body felt under his hands. Warm and strong and generally smooth. Even after that crash, Duo had no noticeable scars.
"What does my body feel like?" Heero asked.
"You've touched yourself before," Duo said. That amused him. No doubt, he was picturing Heero masturbating.
"I tried something last night," Heero said.
"Were you thinking of me?"
"I mean, out by the railing, when you were with me. I did something."
"What?" Duo asked, sounding almost panicked. Heero could feel his body tense. Duo was imagining Heero was admitting some kind of bad news.
"It might seem unusual at first, but I really do not think it was bad. It might be a very good thing. You did not feel hurt last night, did you?"
"No," Duo said, relaxing a little. "It was really good. Did I tell you? I don't remember. I was really sleepy."
"You said I was getting better at it," Heero told him, but it was not specifically what I did with my mouth that I wanted to tell you about."
"Do you remember yesterday when you said you wished I could feel what it was like for you?"
"Right..." Duo hesitated, "Did you try something like that? Something... special?"
"I succeeded." Heero put his hands either side Duo's head and pushed himself up, putting a slight distance between Duo and himself. "I wanted to do what you wished. I wanted to see if I could actually make myself feel your physical sensations. I did. It worked. I felt what you felt when I was sucking you off. It felt pretty good. I could feel so accurately, what felt best for you that I was able to do more of the things that made you feel best."
Duo blinked slowly, eyes focused beyond Heero. Finally, his eyes shifted toward Heero's face. "It's true? How?"
"It is true. It is within my ability. I think I can do more. If I practiced, I could control what I can do more reliably. I promise, I did nothing that would hurt you, but it might be true that I could have. I think I might have used what I can do to hurt someone."
"I know about that," Duo said seriously.
"Do you give me your permission to do it again? It would help me if I could practice with someone, but I realize that it is invasive, so I would not do it unless you consented. I promise I would not hurt you on purpose. I might be able to do things that will help you or make you feel good."
"I don't think I would know if you were doing it or not."
Heero made a slight nod. "I do not know if that is within your ability. You would have to discover that for yourself. You would have to trust me, on my honor, to not do it if you do not give permission."
"I do think it is a good thing if you can control it. I wish I could... you know. I do trust you, but I am not sure it is a good thing for either of us, for anyone, to give someone permission to just do anything in their mind. It's me, you know. It's more me than my body maybe, and I don't let you do just anything to my body. There are limits."
Heero nodded agreement. Duo seemed to be thinking out his decision aloud.
"There is also no way I could tell, so I would have to trust you in the matter even if I said no. I would have to trust that you would stop. I suppose I trust you, I mean I do, but I mean, enough. I mean, what if someone else could do it? If you had practice, there's a better chance you would figure out how to defend yourself or me against another person who had this ability."
"I had thought of that," Heero admitted. "I know Quatre seems to be able to do the same sort of things. I do not know how much he has tried or what level of control he has. I do not remember ever being afraid of his ability, even when I learned how powerful he was. Even when he had that breakdown and we were fighting, I never thought, 'Oh, Quatre is insane and empathic, I must eliminate him.' I was going to kill him, but it was just the way things were going with the war, not because he had ever felt my pain."
"You are not afraid of him, even now when you are no longer so focused? There much be more to get from you, without your singular focus on the mission obscuring everything else in your mind."
"No. I believe that I trust Quatre."
"So, you need to trust yourself that way. I suppose I need to. Now that you mention him, I have never really been afraid about Quatre knowing things. In some ways I trust you more than him."
"What is your decision?"
"Well, I think that I generally just give permission, because I trust you to not do anything that you know would hurt me. But, I would like you to know that I would feel better if you would let me know when you are doing it."
"That sounds more than fair. I will inform you of my experiments."
"I think I am going to tell Quatre the same thing. I know sometimes it comes to you both without you seeking, but I'm going to tell him that I'll let him try practicing with me sometimes, if he tells me what he's doing."
"I know someone who has an ability like yours."
"I do not think I should tell you yet, but can I have permission to tell them about you? They are trustworthy." Ursula already knew about Duo, but Heero had sort of slipped in making that obvious to her.
"Yeah," Duo said slowly.
"I know something they do to practice. Do you ever practice?"
"I try something every once in a while. I think I said before, it only works very much when I am emotional."
"If you think it is all right I tell this person, then I think I will be able to tell you who they are. Then you would know someone to talk to. Someone safe, who has a chance of knowing what you need to know. You might help each other."
"They practice by putting themselves in bonds and trying to escape... without picks or fingers or teeth or anything like that."
"I have escaped that way before, but then sometimes I have wanted badly to escape and it has not worked."
"Maybe you could try. Start with locks for example, until you can free yourself every time, then go to more complex locks, or buckles, and then knots I suppose."
"I could try."
"It is a good idea. Maybe you could learn to use your ability to protect yourself or me from another person with the same ability."
"I know you are right. I would feel bad if I failed to protect someone, against this. Heero...?"
"Do you think my kid... you know?"
"Will be special?"
Duo gave a nod.
"No research has been done on that. I am sure there is a chance your child will be like you, but I do not know if it is certain."
"If they were though, I would want to know how to teach them."
"Yes. That seems a sensible motivation to practice for yourself, as good a reason as being able to protect them."
"So, are you saying that you do not want to mess around anymore?"
"When does it usually end?"
"You go until you need to either have sex or stop completely."
"I want to continue, if you agree. But, then, we should stop. If you consent, I would like to do an experiment. I will restrain you in the doorway..."
"I'm still impressed you figured that out."
Heero smiled. "Then while you are there, you should try to use that ability you have to escape. I will give some reward if I know you use... that ability. If I know you escaped by other means, I will punish you. At the same time, I will try to sense how you are feeling. I intend to concentrate on sensing emotions this time. This way, it will be like you are working with a net, this time. If I sense that you are failing and feeling completely desperate and hurt, I will free you myself, or at least do something to comfort you while you are bound."
"What if you can't sense how I feel?"
"I am confident I will. What I have not figured out is how completely I can distinguish between what I feel and what you feel. Also, I am not sure if I can continue many other activities while doing it. Last night I did manage the two at once, but I was dangerously unaware of our surroundings and could only sense the one type of input."
"So, you can't read my thoughts and know how I feel and sense my emotions all at the same time?"
"Do you think you could, ever?"
"In theory, if I can do each task, I should be able to do them at once. Multitask as it were. I also am not sure if I can send."
"Like, make me know what you are thinking? Like telepathy?"
"I do not know if I can. I suspect I can, but I have not done it yet. In theory, if I practiced enough and my ability is strong enough, then I could at once be aware of everything you think and feel while I remain aware of my own condition and our surroundings."
"You think you can do all that? Even send information back to me?"
"That is what I suspect."
"All I can do is move some stuff," Duo said.
"I am sure it is more complex than that. What helped me was telling myself to assume that anything was possible. You just need to imagine further applications. Can you just move things themselves, or do you control a force that takes shape to move the things...?"
"I don't know."
"If you open a lock, do you make an invisible key, or do you make the mechanisms inside the lock move? Or, if you can move things, how large or small a thing can you manipulate? Can you manipulate molecules? If you actually manipulate molecules of air, then you could form 'shapes' of compressed air. Well, if you could manipulate molecules, there are very many things you could accomplish. You could change temperature as well, for example."
"I never really thought about that."
Heero smirked. "Think about it. What if you can do that? What if you could make yourself a hot hard dildo made of air?"
Duo gasped. "God! If I could do shit like that I'd never leave the house!"
"You wouldn't miss me?"
"I'd invite you over to join me. You could do your thing and feel it too. Then who would be more fucked?"
"I could learn to send the sensation, then who would be more fucked?"
Duo had to think about it. He whispered as he counted on his fingers. "Me being fucked, Heero being fucked, me being fucked through Heero... well, I could put my dick in your mouth, then who'd be like more fucked?"
"We could go six-nine."
"Do you think if you send I feel everything I felt back again like an echo, or so I just feel what you would have felt?"
"I am not sure. Maybe I could make you feel the echo, but then things would get strange."
"Yeah, like room of mirrors fucking! I think our brains would run out our ears or noses or some shit!"
"It would be two times fucking, two times sucking and two times being sucked, without the echo, each. Equal."
"Man just the two times fucked sounds like it'd be trippy!"
"I felt sucked and sucking at the same time last night. I felt what it was like to be sucked off by myself!"
"Was it kewl?" Duo grinned.
"Yes! Made me loose control of swallowing."
"I should have known something was up. You usually are neat." Duo stopped talking and stared at Heero. "I can't mess around anymore. All that talking..."
"I want you too."
"I want something else first." Heero lapped at Duo's throat.
"Nnnn, but the more you practice, the sooner we find out if you really can send and the sooner you control it and we have really freaky psy sex."
"Psy sex sounds good."
"So, I don't mind if you are the only one feeling more right now. Actually, now that I know you can do it, I think I'd like to see you feel it." That had a dangerous sound.
"Feel what, exactly."
"I think eventually I want to see you fucking me while you feel how it feels for me, but right now I was thinking of something else. You are a little bit of a voyeur."
"So, you could back up, sit on the table, and just watch me touch myself. You could try to tune in on what my body feels again. That's what you did last night. Then, I wouldn't really be alone. You would feel my hand and my dick."
"Can I touch myself?"
Duo shook his head. "You need to focus on your training, Heero. If it's training for sex I'm allowed to tell you what to do."
This was true. Apart from the whole pet and sensei game, they had invented Heero had agreed that when it came to purely sexual matters Duo was Heero's teacher. Heero had done a lot of independent study, but he had agreed that Duo could instruct him in this way. "It is not strictly a sex matter."
"But it has sex play applications. Think of it as payment for getting to know what's in my head."
"It might be a long time before I could send."
"You know that seeing a lover enjoy himself is enjoyable in itself. I'll get to see you suffer through experiments and additional stimulation. There will be plenty of actual sex for you to tune into as well."
Heero agreed with a nod.
"You can train for non sexual apps on your own time."
Heero smirked. The techniques would work the same whether it was sex he was tuning into or other thoughts and emotions. Duo likely knew that and was teasing. Heero had not planned this exactly, he had thought to separate the sex and mental raining a bit more, but this might work better.
"OK, back up. I usually would go pretty fast if I was alone, but I'll try to go slow to give you time for practice."
"I will do my best." Heero pushed off the sofa and sat down on the low coffee table before it.
"I might want a little lube. Could you get it for me?"
Duo hissed. He got up though. Heero heard Duo move through the room, complaining about how he was the one hard up and in a cast and Heero always put his things away where he could not find them.
"Nightstand," Heero said helpfully. He closed his eyes and attempted the connection. He had done this much before and without trouble. It worked for him again. That was good. At least the initial connection to Duo was easy. It might be more difficult with people he did not know so well, so Heero would have to practice on others.
Heero took some calming breaths. The yoga was useful for some things. "I will be able to access what is inside Duo," Heero said as his mantra. "I will learn to satisfy physical, emotional, mental and spiritual needs in myself and my lover."
Heero smiled. He knew Duo wanted him to focus on the physical again, but Heero wanted to see if he would be able to tune into emotions, as he had planned for later. He commanded himself to access Duo's feelings.
The emotions came to him quite strongly, very strongly. Heero was only aware of love and lust and anticipation and amusement.
"It has to be less," Heero thought with the small part of him that remained aware of himself. Smaller stream, please, Heero thought.
He sighed with relief as the emotions became less overpowering. He could still sense Duo's feelings, but he was much more aware of his own body.
He should be able to pick up more at the same time, more varied information.
Heero told himself to access Duo's physical sensations. He imagined for himself that he had a program running to receive Duo's emotions and a separate program open at the same time to receive Duo's sensations.
"Are you doing it?" Duo asked.
"Almost got it," Heero whispered.
"Can you do it with your eyes open?"
"I want to. Give me just a little while... to start."
"I can wait a while."
"You feel overall relaxed. Your right hand... yes... I think the right... is touching something. Your cock feels hard. Free. I think it feels like it stands free, like you do not have your pants on now. A hand is holding something cool. Oh..."
"That is how it feels to have pierced nipples!" Heero laughed happily. "Oh, that is a nice sort of pain. Your right hand must be pulling on a ring."
"That's right. Wow, you really are doing it. Your eyes are entirely shut and I hardly made a noise."
Heero opened his eyes. The flow of information from Duo seemed to dim, or lessen, but it was there. Heero sat very still. He saw that he had been correct. Duo had not removed his pants, but only pushed them down past his knees. His left hand held the little container of lube.
"Is it working?" Duo whispered.
"Yes. It is more difficult with my eyes open, but I can do it. Even if you make my body feel good, I may end up mentally frustrated. This is work."
"OK. After this we can do something relaxing before we try anything else."
"You can do what you want now. It will be better if you do not focus on me entirely."
"I want to see you, but I understand how you will be fairly occupied just with concentrating. I am sure it will get better if you practice more."
Duo felt slight disappointment, but it was insignificant beside the awe, lust, and love he felt. Heero decided to shut down that flow of information to better receive the physical sensations. Things did seem clearer then. He could see Duo was playing with his nipples and he could feel it, at roughly the same moment. He felt the fingers and he felt the nipples.
Duo's. He knew he was feeling Duo's hands. They were bigger than his, and rougher. He knew those were Duo's nipples. He had felt them from the outside.
"Oh, I wish I could do this better. I want to know how that makes you feel and what you are thinking."
"Be patient. I will give you further opportunities."
"How are you not touching... your dick?" Heero asked. "I want to touch it and I am over here!"
Duo licked his lips then spoke. "I told myself to go slow for you."
Heero made himself focus. He saw Duo was squeezing out a line of lube onto his right hand. "It's cold," Heero said.
Duo lifted his hand and breathed on the gel. He made a loose fist then looked at Heero. His eyes moved down Heero's body and then up again. "I'm going to think about you."
Heero thought he should be quieter. Duo had wanted to show Heero how he would do it if he was alone, and just have Heero watch. Heero had already proved that he could pick up on Duo's sensations. Duo did not need a play-by-play; he was the one feeling it first.
Heero felt he was adjusting, he could will himself to be more or less focused on Duo's sensations, as he could vary the intensity in which the environment or his own body were noticed as compared to what he got from Duo.
He watched Duo lower his hand to his dick. He felt it. Heero moaned. That felt so good. Heero had wanted to touch his... Duo's dick. That touch felt good. He liked the way the hand squeezed slightly. Everything moved slickly. The dick in his hand, Duo's hand felt great. Warm, hard, smooth-skinned.
Heero could see Duo's hand cupped about his dick. He really did not like that word, but Duo was very comfortable with it.
This was not very challenging, because Heero's body was not involved in activity. Last night he had managed having sex while doing this. Well, the idea of not being involved was to put more effort into the mental exercises.
Heero commanded himself to receive Duo's thoughts. For a while, it seemed he got nothing. Heero had heard the thoughts before. It had seemed like hearing, as they words had come in Duo's voice, but ears had not been involved.
Maybe Duo was not thinking of very much.
What did Heero do when he masturbated? Sometimes he thought, but after a point, he felt and acted more than he thought about anything. He fantasized sometimes, but maybe that was not the same as conscious thought.
Heero had quite accidentally seen Duo's fantasies before. He was probably thinking about fucking Heero right now. Though he said he liked it the other way around, Duo really did seem to fantasize about fucking him a lot.
That did it. Heero felt mildly bothered, but it was his own emotion, caused by not knowing how he had accessed these images. Perhaps imagination was not entirely like thoughts.
It came in flashes. Heero could still see Duo. He could see the way his eyes stared at Heero's body. He could see the movement of his hand and the blood-tinged color of his dick. He felt it. It felt like everything he needed at that moment. It felt perfect. And then the flash came.
He saw himself the way Duo had imagined him. His hair was brown this time, Heero noticed. There was a bar suspended from cables above Heero's head. His hands were on the bar. It was like he was doing pull-ups in a gym, only his feet were on a mattress, either side of Duo. A flexing of muscles in his arms and Heero pulled his body upward. He relaxed and he sank down, forcing Duo's dick deeper into his body.
In that general manner of speaking Heero seemed to be the one doing the fucking. He was more active, though he was penetrated.
No feelings came along with the image. They were only images Duo invented to go along with the movement of his hand. As his hand moved slowly, Heero smirked and moved slowly, as if he was the one torturing Duo with this pace.
Heero mentally typed the keystrokes to receive Duo's thoughts. He had not consciously planned that out' he had just done it. He was certain that that mental typing had brought results more quickly than thinking about how he should accomplish his goals. Apparently, this ability he had worked for him more the less he tried to consciously think about how it worked.
If he assumed that something was possible, that the ability was natural to him and that he must know how to do it, then he could just do it. Telling himself to give the command without consciously knowing what the command was worked.
Heero knew what Duo was thinking. The words were rapid and smushed together. Duo was thinking about Heero, about how tight his ass was. Heero felt Duo's hand squeeze his dick at that thought. He thought that Heero looked gorgeous. He thought that he wanted to go faster.
And Heero could still feel what Duo felt. He could still see the fantasy images. He heard the fantasy Heero speak. It did not sound like Heero sounded to himself. It sounded like Heero sounded to Duo. More nasal, Heero thought, maybe.
"You think you need to go faster, Duo-chan?"
"Please," Duo said. He also sounded different inside Duo's head.
"You have been good. I will go faster."
Duo spoke aloud. "Yeah, faster."
Heero saw his hand quicken. He felt it, or he sensed Duo feeling it. "You know I can perform pull-ups superhumanly fast, you might want to apply more lube before I burn your skin off," Heero said.
Duo groaned, knowing Heero had seen his fantasy, but he did not stop or apply lube. He simply moved faster.
It was amazing! Duo brought himself off as fast as he could, just pulling and pulling. His fingers hurt and the tendons in his forearm, but he did it. He moved faster than might be considered normal. He bucked, arched, and cried out wordlessly and the images of Heero in his mind flickered like a strobe.
It hurt and it felt so good and Heero felt all of it.
Duo came and Heero felt that even as he observed the ejaculate arc sharply through the air. It mostly landed on Duo's chest. It was warm when it touched his skin.
Duo was in bliss and then, "Shit!" Duo said. "Fuck! I think I actually hurt myself."
"I told you to apply lubrication," Heero said flatly.
Heero shut down the connection and shook himself lightly. He rolled his shoulders and then looked at Duo. He was leaning forward, looking down between his legs. Heero shook his head. It would not help Duo if Heero pointed out how uncharacteristically stupid and fittingly impulsive that had been.
"Let me see it," Heero said.
Duo waved him away.
"I have a first aid kit."
"It's nothing. I'm just going to be sore. It happens." Duo leaned back in the couch and smiled lopsidedly at the stickiness on his chest.
"It can happen," Heero agreed. It should not, however, he thought. "Really, let me look. I have more medical knowledge than you do."
Heero stood and tapped on a lamp near the sofa. He moved to the side of Duo opposite the light and peered down into his lap. "No broken skin. It is sore from the friction."
"I have something you could put on it. A gel with aloe in it. It will sooth the skin. You will feel better soon."
"Yeah. Not the first injury I sustained during sex, though usually I'm not self abusive." He laughed.
Heero supposed Duo knew a meaning of 'abuse' that he did not recall. "Do you have loose, soft underwear?"
"Would it be very inappropriate if you wore some of mine?"
"Only if they're dirty."
"I will be sure to lend you a clean pair," Heero said seriously.
"You could stop staring now. It's dead embarrassing."
Heero sat down on the couch near Duo. He sighed. "When two people start dating they take sure care to impress each other, to wear the right clothes and to say the right things and seem kewl, but after they have been together a while, if they are a couple, then they feel like the person they were most trying to impress is the only one they can stand to be weak or foolish or sick in front of."
"You know if you were anyone else I wouldn't even have admitted the pain, but I still don't have to like you staring at my dick like it's a really interesting lab specimen."
Duo sounded angry, but Heero knew he was not angry with Heero. There was no special ability involved, Heero could just tell. Sometimes Duo did complain, much as he sometimes joked; neither expressed the entirety of his true feelings. Heero smirked. "Maybe you want to get the first aid kit yourself."
Duo lifted a hand to flick him off. That was not sincerely meant either. Duo was just working out his frustration with himself.
"I will get it," Heero told him. "I will get you tucked into bed and we'll take a nap before checking out the bay."
"Thanks," Duo whispered.