Another Version of Events
by Karan Seraph
Chapter 20
It was a transitional time of day, when the younger children were being called in to dinner from the ball court and the older kids that would hang around socializing well into the night hadn't yet stopped by their houses after work or after school clubs. The players in this half-court game were quickly rotating in and out, being of a transitional age group.
Andrew called time. Hiro was just arriving at the court and he usually liked to play a game or two early in the evening before going home for a late dinner and shower. Daniel had a late shift sort of job and would be leaving soon.
"You wanna get in?" Daniel asked Hiro as he approached.
"Yeah," Hiro said. He then bowed toward the collected players.
Heero returned only a slight nod.
"I'll sit out, I have to leave soon anyway," Daniel said.
"If you want to play longer, I'll take the bench," Heero offered, "I can go in when you leave for work. I need to fix my laces anyway." This caused the players to look at Heero's feet again. His boots now had purple laces which were too long and the left one was knotted at its midpoint where it had been cut. Presently the right lace had come loose, again. "Long story. What I really need is a new pair of athletic shoes."
This started a conversation about which shoes everyone thought were best for street courts. Daniel quietly agreed that Heero could take the bench, so Heero left them discussing shoes. He walked to the bleachers inside the fence where Koi was guarding his bag. Yanagi was there, seated near Koi and watching the game. Behind her Aishawn and some other younger children had networked recent game machines to battle or trade music files or whatever they were into. Above them a few boys were loudly discussing Spawn, Batman and Spiderman, Manga versus comics and original amateur works they had found online.
Heero sat between the cheerleader and his dog and looked at his feet as he stretched his legs before the bench. Duo had insisted they trade laces that morning and Heero had complied. He had not considered that the different texture and length of these laces would cause them to come undone as they did. He really thought Duo wore them because he liked the color.
"You had sex," Yanagi said slyly. Heero doubted anyone else around them heard her.
Heero was a little surprised she had said that. He raised a brow beneath the fringe of dyed green hair and turned to look at her. "E'?"
She raised a brow but her face was otherwise blank. "Duo?"
"You can tell?"
Yanagi glanced at Heero's feet. "Oh, yeah, I can tell. You look like a guy who got some. Like, everything's a Tootsie Roll. It was good, ne?"
Tootsie Roll... Heero thought that was a snack food, the comment was lost on him. But, she must mean that something about his manner indicated happiness. "Uh huh," Heero answered. Duo might answer in the affirmative by making that sound.
Duo. Good was just understatement. They had nearly fought again, they had gotten loud, but in the end everything had turned out really well. Heero had started to suspect when he was on Earth and alone that his body required sex and affection and human contact. Now Heero realized just how much he had needed it. Everything had seemed better today. He'd slept deeply. He'd woken up with a warm strong body entwined with his. The soapy hands that brought him off in the shower really had been Duo's.
Everything looked gorgeous today. His body felt good, like it hummed. His mind was surprisingly clear and sharp. He sensed so many things around him.
"Going to see him again soon?"
"Thursday, tomorrow night for sure."
"I remember, when I was with someone I loved, they had made snow fall overnight and I hadn't paid attention to the announcements. I woke up and everything was perfect, and I went to the window and we had snow. It was the most beautiful morning ever."
"You have someone?"
"No. He moved to Earth and married someone else. But that was still the most beautiful morning."
"Oh."
A darkness fell over the colony interior as the sky glasses were closed to mark night. Additional lamps were automatically activated around the court and on the street, making everything about the court glow with purple-white light where a minute ago it had seemed bathed in amber sunlight. It was beautiful.
"Oi, Heero, I'm outta here, you're in!"
Heero quickly tied his laces again then jogged to the end of their half court. Andrew went over the teams again for everyone. Heero and Hiro and a boy named Simon were on one team. Andrew, Kevin and Aisha, the only present female player, were playing against them.
Such was the transitory nature of the teams at this time of day that the game did not always remain fair. All the opposing three players were good ball players, but Simon and Hiro were tall as well as skilled and Heero knew he was good at this game.
In any case, though there was competition, this was a fairly relaxed and friendly game. If Heero were around later in the evening he might join more serious games with money on them or just place bets.
There were still a lot of people who wouldn't wager on his team winning, even if they did know who he was. He was so much shorter than many other players, but anyone who had watched a game knew to consider Heero and his jump shot seriously before putting down money. He'd done workouts in a cyclotron set to 2g when he was still a growing boy and in the slightly less than 1g environment of the Colonies he could catch serious air. That and excellent hand-to-eye coordination went far in this game.
"Heero! Your phone is ringing!" Aishawn called.
Heero shot, landed, saw the ball fall neatly through the hoop and called for time out. Aishawn was bounding toward him with Heero's headset phone in his hand.
Heero took the phone and hit the button to receive before fitting the phone to his head. He walked away from the small crowd. "Yuy," he said, automatically. He recognized Duo's number then and removed the blind.
"Hey," Duo breathed. He sounded more down than anything and the emotion actually showed truthfully on his face as he scowled.
"OK?" Heero asked. He pushed damp hair from his brow.
"Not really. Are you busy?"
"Well, I am doing something, but if you want to talk... I mean... I am not doing anything important."
Duo smiled and laughed and Heero recognized it as a mask, "Well, I'm not about to off myself or anything, but I have had a really bad day and I just don't feel like being alone. I just thought, if you weren't too busy, you could come over here just for a little while. Just to hang out, not like a date. If you're busy tho..."
"Where are you now? Headquarters?"
"Yeah."
"I will be there as soon as I can. I am at the ball court now and I'd like to go inside and get a quick shower before I leave."
"That's kewl."
"Can I bring you anything? Have you eaten?"
"Don't worry about it. If you get hungry we can get take out. Or I can see if anyone's cooking dinner here tonight."
"All right. See you soon."
Duo smiled. "Later."
Heero removed the phone and folded it. He waved to the guys and then walked toward them. "I just heard that something important has come up. Please excuse me. I have to leave. I hope we can play another time."
The group assured Heero that it was acceptable that he left. It happened often in these pick-up games that someone had to leave unexpectedly.
Heero then said goodbye to Yanagi and Aishawn. He collected his bag and Koi and returned to his apartment.
Within a half-hour Heero arrived at Preventer Headquarters with Koi, washed and casually dressed in leggings and a tank. He stopped at the desk. There were two agents guarding the entrance from here. "I am here to see Maxwell," Heero told them.
"We have you on the list, Captain," one said, clearly recognizing Heero. "But, before you go in, I am to inform you that the director left something for you. Our instructions say to witness you signing for it next time you visited."
The second guard placed an updated Preventers ID on the counter. It was Heero's. He had a badge, as they called it which was more permanent and general form of ID for all Preventers, but Heero did not have current ID that allowed him access to all Preventer sites.
A digital pad was placed on the counter as well. Heero took it and read over the official form. It was a standard agreement that specified that Heero was issued the ID and that it was property of the Defense Force. His new clearance level allowed him access to the Preventer training and recreation areas, and to other areas only when escorted by full-time officer.
It seemed in good order so Heero signed the pad and returned it. He took the new Id and clipped it to the hem of his shirt. "Do you have any information on where Maxwell may be?"
"No," One answered.
"Actually, not officially, but I saw him go downstairs when I came on shift, Captain, and he put you on the list, so I feel justified in mentioning it."
Heero snapped a salute and walked with Koi to the next intersection of hallways. He turned and moved down another hall. He knew the layout of the building fairly well. This floor had many training and exercise facilities and also provided access to the locker rooms, utility rooms and Defense Squadron hanger and impound in the lower levels.
Heero glanced into the rooms as he moved down the hall, until he came to the smaller gym. There was a larger gym where groups of agents trained and in groups or under supervision of their officers, but this smaller room was used by agents who wished to maintain or improve their bodies beyond the required levels and organized classes.
Or, as in Duo's case, the gym could be used to work out frustrations in a fairly constructive manner. Heero stepped back from the window in the door and put his hand to the scanner beside the door as he said his name. The lock clicked open, admitting Heero to the room.
Duo was alone, dressed in Preventer issue navy tank and sweat shorts and, as he might say, kicking and punching the Hell out of the bag suspended between floor and ceiling at the corner of the floor mat. Screaming.
Heero had been taught how some people used vocalizations to help them focus their attacks, but he had always trained himself to attack as silently as possible.
Duo was screaming wordlessly with every strike. Whatever had happened, Heero could tell now that Duo must have had a very bad day. Obviously, whatever had disturbed him was represented by the punching bag. If it had been a person, it would have long since become a corpse.
Heero stepped from the harder surface of the floor onto the less dense surface of the mat, which was designed to absorb impact, so that those sparing did not suffer serious injury when they fell. Heero saw Duo's eyes track toward him. Duo moved his eyes away then and struck the surface of the bag several times in quick succession with his fists.
"Did you get it all out yet?" Heero asked.
Duo took a small leap back, landing solidly on his booted feet and resting his hands on his hips. He gave a slight nod then looked to the mat as he caught his breath. Duo lifted an arm and shoved hair from his forehead; Heero noticed the blue cuff on his wrist.
"No," Duo said finally, "I still feel pretty mad... it's mostly at myself."
Silence. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" Heero asked finally. He supposed that was the appropriate social thing to do, to invite Duo to talk.
"Not really, though, I'm going to have to tell you part of it."
Heero waited.
"Walk me to the showers, 'K?"
"OK."
Duo sighed dramatically then nodded. He moved quickly to the edge of the mat and picked up a small duffle. Heero could not recall if he had ever seen Duo wear shorts. He had seen Duo naked now, but not in shorts like that, he thought. Duo had very long legs.
"C'mon," he said. They left the gym and gained admittance to the locker rooms. The space was divided between male and female agents, Duo's locker of course being on the men's side. He picked out some fresh clothes and stowed his bag and his boots then moved to the showers.
Heero followed, not entirely sure if he should, but not wanting to be anti-social, especially toward Duo. They reached the area of the communal style water showers. Heero thought of the porn movie he had seen in which many naked, attractive, government agents had ended up wrestling in the steam.
One agent was turned toward the wall showering. Heero averted his gaze, other than to note the presence of a body and to decide he did not know the person. Duo moved to the row of narrow stalls in the same tiled area.
These were sonic showers and the nature of the technology, which cleansed with vibrations of the air as caused by sound waves or particular frequency and pitch necessitated rigid panels surrounding the body. These cabinets of sorts were the sort of showers most often available on spacecraft and vacuums sucked all dirt and moisture from the chamber as it was blasted from the body.
"I won't be long," Duo promised, "You can do what you like. I'll just be a few minutes."
Heero gave a nod. He watched Duo go into one of the showers and then he turned and walked into another section of the locker room where sinks were located. Further along there was a steam room and toilets. Some posters on the wall identified emergency escape routes and reminded agents of the proper manner to dress in uniform.
Duo found him shortly. He was walking around in tabi and zori wearing that knotted and worn black skirt Heero had seen him in upon returning to the Colonies and a light green t-shirt that was part of his Preventer uniform. Two blue velvet cuffs remained on his wrists. He had put his things away, except for an elastic band in his mouth, which he seemed to hold ready to fasten his braid. He was quickly plaiting his hair even as he walked toward Heero.
"Feel better?" Heero asked. Sometimes he felt better when he was clean.
Duo shrugged. He drew his hair forward and quickly finished the braid then fastened it with the band. It was almost unbelievable how fast and accurate his fingers were as they tossed locks of hair from hand to hand, but Duo must have been well practiced at braiding.
"Wanna go upstairs?"
"OK."
They went upstairs to the rec area. There was a large kitchen, where they might prepare a meal for all the resident and on shift agents if need be and attached a dining room that blended into the space where games were played and television was watched.
Duo pointed out some of the other Preventers to Heero as they went to the kitchen. Kaniko, Batcheva...
Heero hadn't met those women before, but they looked remarkably similar to the actresses in some of the porn movies Heero had seen. He had already suspected someone with a connection to Preventers had written the script, but now... why even the female Cadets had been represented correctly and there couldn't be as much public information or news stories about them yet.
Heero wondered who he could ask about the movies without embarrassing himself completely. He had only meant to watch them to see if they posed a security risk, at first.
Gibson was in the kitchen, frying something on a range top grill and chatting to Mariemaia who sat on their kitchen counter. She was laughing loudly at whatever he had just said. She looked up. "Hi Heero! Hi Uncle Max!"
Uncle Max? Heero looked at Mariemaia sternly. "You should not be sitting on the surface where food is prepared unless you wish to be eaten."
"Well, she is a tasty dish," Gibson joked.
Heero did not think him very funny. Admittedly, he was biased against the Private. "It's unhygienic."
"I'd rather Maia than someone else. I know she's clean," Gibson said. At that Duo lifted Mariemaia down from the counter. He leaned over the surface, his elbow on the stainless steel countertop and his chin resting in his hand. Heero thought Duo actually bat his lashes at Gibson. His fists clenched.
"So, you going to fix us some burgers too?" Duo asked. Heero realised that Duo being in that position really forced Gibson to notice the object worn about his wrist.
"There are patties in the fridge. I was just cooking these for Maia and myself."
"Wanna burger, Heero?" Duo asked.
"OK." Not his favorite food, but Heero could make himself eat just about anything, well, if it was really food.
"Have a seat or something, I'll fix us some," Duo said brightly, gesturing with his hands to tables and grill as he spoke.
Heero loosed Koi from his leash and then found a seat at a table near the kitchen. Soon Mariemaia came to the table and placed some containers of condiments in the center. When she had retrieved some napkins she sat down at the table opposite Heero.
Behind her Duo and Gibson were arguing or talking rather animatedly about the grill, or that was what their gestures suggested. Duo was talking with his hands enough that Heero couldn't always see his lips and Gibson kept his back to the tables.
"So, why is he 'Uncle Max?'"
"I call a lot of people Uncle."
Well, Heero did think it was not that unusual, in any language, for younger people, especially girls, to address any older man they were on familiar terms with, except for fathers and brothers, as 'Uncle' or a similar term. But, some females were closer to their Uncles than others.
"I had a real uncle. His name was Trowa. I lived with him and my grandfather after my mother died. I didn't know my father. They told me lies about my father."
"Yes," Heero agreed.
"My Une tells me about my father. I watch videos of him sometimes. He made a lot of speeches and was in the news often, so we have those videos."
"He was skilled in Rhetoric."
"I don't think Master Chang did kill my father. I think he let it happen. My Une says sometimes people are willing to give up their life if they believe in something. My father believed he should not survive that battle. He believed he should bring about the battle and fight, but not win."
"He did not wish to be the victor," Heero agreed. "He seemed to be playing a role. I though that he could control many things, but it was just... your father clearly saw his destiny and he knew he was not to be the victor and survive the battle. He chose Wufei to strike the blow, but really, he was surrendering his life. I think Wufei knows that. He just wishes he had not helped destiny along that day. Wufei was confused then, wasn't he?"
"Yes. We were confused. I just wish I could have known my father. Even the people who were his enemies... they say nice things about him now."
"It is because even when they disagreed with your father they respected many of his qualities. He was what you would call, a worthy adversary."
Gibson dropped a pair of plates to the table and sat down beside Mariemaia. "That's because Treize Khushrenada was a genius. He should have lived. Mariemaia should have always been his heir, huh, Miss Khushrenada?"
Duo sat down more quietly, on Mariemaia's other side, so that he was nearly opposite Heero, as Mariemaia also was. He pushed a plate across the table to Heero. Heero looked at the condiments. Mariemaia was putting mayonnaise on her burger. Heero thought a spicy mayonnaise would be good, but not that plain stuff. Duo would use ketchup. Duo was then squeezing ketchup onto his burger and looking toward Mariemaia with distaste.
"Mariemaia and myself were just discussing that her father did not himself believe he should have lived. He really sacrificed himself. You know, like Obi Won Kenobi. He knew his role was finished and others must live out their destiny." Heero picked up the bottle of ketchup. "Besides, If he had lived, he would probably have remained Sovereign of Earth and may have become sovereign of the Colonies. It wouldn't have solved anything. The Colonies would still be controlled by an existing Earth government, rather than forming an entirely new system in partnership with the Earth. It would have been an enforced peace, if there was peace. Most likely Dekim would have had Treize assassinated within a year and placed Mariemaia on a throne as his puppet and Mariemaia still would not have really known her father."
Gibson took the ketchup as soon as Heero put it down. "You can't be sure if any of that would have happened, and with all due respect, Captain, I don't believe you are truly qualified to say what Treize believed."
Duo groaned.
"You're right, Private, I may not be qualified to say what anyone else believes, but, I believe I am the only one at this table who ever met Treize Khushrenada. So, it is my opinion, that although tragic, his death, such as it was, had honor and meaning to it. Haven't we all learned that an enforced absence of war by conquest is a false peace? The people must be free and must freely choose peace, because they hate war or it will not last."
"They picked a really lame Prom theme!" Duo announced, nearly shouting the words.
Gibson laughed. He was younger than Duo but had tested out of school already.
Mariemaia seemed to be interested in this topic on some level. She gazed at Duo, smiling. "Do you get to go to a Prom at your school?" she asked.
"I didn't think I would care or anything!" Duo said, blinking at the ceiling, "But they announced the theme of my class's Senior Prom today, officially, and it's... 'Pax Romana!' It's horrible and no one seemed to understand why. Well, except Relena, but I think she was too shocked herself to talk to me about it!"
"Pax Romana," Heero said, "Roman Peace." That was what they called the period of history in which Rome had ruled much of the Mediterranean and Europe, in which there had not been wars within that region, before civil wars had torn the empire apart. It had been an enforced and false peace.
"It's supposed to be this good school!" Duo cried, "It's this really prestigious private school and everyone gets good tests scores and is accepted to university... but it's all false... because the students are mainly children of diplomats from all parts of the Earth Sphere and it's scary how little they understand about politics! Pax Romana? For our Prom? They have Relena Peacecraft in their graduating class and they choose that as a Prom theme? It's not even romantic or anything! It just means we'll have a bunch of cheesy fake columns and arches for decorations..." Duo pushed his plate away and dropped his head to his folded arms.
"That does sound rather ignorant and insulting. A celebration named for a time of false enforced peace. I am certain Relena is above finding it a petty mocking gesture aimed at her reign as Queen of the World... but others might believe that it is and that would just be unfortunate."
Duo looked up. "Yeah? You get it?"
"Well, I do not really know very much about school or Prom... but I think it is understandable you are upset at the choice of theme. 'Pax Romana' is not really an appropriate theme for any celebration these days. Perhaps they just don't understand their history enough to know what sort of peace it was?"
"Yeah," Duo said, not entirely agreeing. "I was just so upset. It's a stupid theme and I had actually started to think I might like to go to Prom. I was having such a good day until then, well, sorta until before then and hearing the theme just made everything worse..." Duo was omitting something, Heero thought. "I wonder if I could have just done something, been more involved or talked to the Juniors or something."
"You go to school and you have four jobs," Heero reminded Duo, "You can't expect yourself to also organize Prom. If you truly believe the Juniors have behaved dishonorably, you should really take your complaint to the Sophomore students. They can see that the Juniors receive fair justice the next year. Unless, your class angered the previous seniors?"
"No way. Last years Prom was totally kewl! Enchantment Under the Sea is a classic theme! Sparkly blue and green decorations, those are even our school colors. Excuse to wear glitter. You can't offend any ethnic or national group with happy looking sea creatures, it's not like Mermaids go to our school!"
"I was just asking to rule out other possibilities. I am sure it was lovely." Heero smirked.
Duo huffed. "Well, I didn't actually go, I just know my class planned it."
"So... going to wear a toga then?" Gibson asked through a laugh.
"I don't even know if I'll go yet," Duo snapped. Then, as Heero suppressed expression of his disappointment, Duo said more calmly, "I just find it rather tasteless, considering all we've done to achieve peace."
"I am still a child, but I think maybe my father did really desire peace," Mariemaia whispered, "He must have believed that if he staged a war for the people they would see how horrible it was and choose peace despite him. He sacrificed his life and happiness to play the villain. That is what Master Chang did as well, only his worthy adversary fought Destiny and did not let him die. I played the villain, but I can not say that I did it knowingly or selflessly. I was just confused. Wasn't I Uncle Heero?"
"That was the old Mariemaia. She is dead. You are an intelligent girl and you can do whatever you choose with your life."
"You were a worthy adversary, Heero."
Heero considered this. "Perhaps one day you will be too. For now, you seem a worthy ally, but mostly, someone who needs to be protected until she is even stronger."
"Well, you know that I always defend you," Gibson said.
"Yes, I am a lucky girl."
Heero rolled his eyes then lifted his hamburger. He opened his mouth wide and chomped on the bread and meat. When Heero was finished the burger Duo brought him a bottle of some kind of Irish beer and invited him to his room. Heero called Koi to follow and then tasted the thick dark beverage as he followed Duo.
Inside his small dormitory room Duo flopped onto his bed. There was little furniture so Heero climbed over Duo and sat on the bed, with his back against the wall.
"I really was having a good day to start out, ya know?"
Heero smiled. "Everything was just great today."
"I had such a stupid happy day that this morning I had this brilliant idea that I would write a note to you in Sister Pat's Lit class." Heero thought he knew where this story was going. He had been to schools before. "It didn't sit top well with Sister Pat that I was day dreaming and writing notes. I mean, I wasn't even smart about it. I was actually writing it by hand with this cute pen with purple ink and all... and we were supposed to be completing our essays on War and Peace."
"You read War and Peace?"
"Yeah. I wrote the essay too. Still, I should have been reading it over for errors or going onto our next reading assignment. But, no, I was writing you this awesome note that described exactly how I had felt when you had me captive and how I couldn't wait to have sex with you."
"She read it?" Heero asked.
"Oh, yeah. She caught my dumb ass. Took the note, read it, pulled me to the front of the room by my hair, took my belt, smacked me with it, wrote me out a detention slip and sent me to Father Frank. I had to watch this horrible 'Christian Family Planning' vid, be confessed, and sit still for an hour after school in detention. She took my belt, Heero. She took it. It's my own dumb fault. You gave it to me and I lost it. I'm so sorry."
"Can they do that?"
Duo's shoulder moved in a slight shrug, but otherwise he just lay staring at the ceiling. "I feel like such a dumbass for just being in school. Everyone around here is older or tested out. I feel like a total freak being a high school student and a war veteran all at once... Preventer agent..."
"Well, it was pretty weak, getting caught by a schoolteacher, but going to school is not the stupid thing. I think it is admirable you do go to school. Don't you know that?"
Another shrug. "I was so stupid!"
"She won't give it back?"
Duo sighed. "I didn't ask, but she put it in her desk I think. I don't know if she kept it there. I think she would have taken the cuffs if she had seen they were beneath my jacket sleeves. She had already read the note then, so she clearly knew that at that time, the belt must have some sexual... significance. I think she didn't even notice what it was before or that it was more than an alternative fashion statement. Heero, I think she was disgusted. You should have seen her face. And Father Frank... it's like, I've known priests, they're people too, so some are different or better than others. Some of them are kewl. Like Brother Joe who is one of our teachers, or Father Dave or some other's I've known. Sister Tess..."
"I would like to understand, but I don't. You don't have to tell me, Duo, but if you want me to understand you have to explain it to me."
"Heero..." Duo turned his head just a bit so that Heero could see his face clearly, "Father Frank is homophobic. And... I can respect that, at least, I get that everyone has preferences, and choices. Some people, regardless of gender just can't conceive of having sex with a person of one particular gender. That I get. I seriously could go for a girl, I mean, I have. You know that. But I know that some people will choose only one and think it's gross to go the other way."
"Some people are strictly homosexual or heterosexual. And certain religious orders vow celibacy, regardless of gender. And, yes, I am aware you identify as bisexual."
"But some people concern themselves with the choices others make. They make judgments about others. You understand? Father Frank, and Sister Pat for example..."
"It's OK. Maybe I understand now. You don't have to tell me."
"I was having such a good day."
"It wasn't... I read that in Catholicism all sexual acts outside of marriage are considered sinful. They weren't perhaps just shocked and disappointed because they really believed you had sinned?"
Duo laughed. "Sometimes I totally forget that most of the world does not understand this archaic religion I have been indoctrinated in."
"Yes," Heero agreed.
"I was telling you about the other teachers that belong to religious orders. Those people took vows and they believe they do God's work and for the most part they are very loving people, you know, truly Christian, not judgmental, just basically caring and sacrificing. They're also experienced High School teachers, Heero. They totally know that some amount of their students have sex or at least mess around or that they have various gender preferences. I mean, we do have students who aren't Catholic, they just attend our school because they think the education is of a good quality. Those ones, the good teachers, they can tell what a student is up to. If they think you have a problem, they talk to you quietly and ask you polite questions and offer advice if you ask for it."
"But this Sister Pat is different?"
"They're allowed to confiscate whatever they like. It's school policy. If you agree to attend then you agree to the rules. They can basically take anything from you with the reasoning that the object is a distraction to you or others. But, she shouldn't have touched me. But, what the fuck, I'm not going to hit a nun, Heero! It's not like it hurt, but she had no right! I'm just sick of it! I'm 18, and in school and to them that means I'm a kid that needs to be disciplined and they feel so sorry for me that I don't have a family to teach me right from wrong and so they are hard on me. I mean, me personally, singled out. She was happy to take that note, but then, I saw her face change. She was... disgusted. And Father Frank, disgusted. They made me have confession. But, it was like a mockery of what the sacrament should be, because I didn't confess really. I said, 'I am truly sorry for disrespecting sister Pat by taking time from her class for personal activities, and I wish God's forgiveness and absolution and will do penance... but I do not regret or dare ask forgiveness for any of other things I am being accused of.'"
"Oh."
"So, I can't rightfully get the belt back. Of course I could steal it back, but then she would assume it was me. I don't want to steal from them, even if it was mine. She actually did have the right to take it. That was my fault. But I am pissed about the other stuff. I'm sick of half the world thinking me some kind of war hero and the rest of them thinking me a pitiful orphan and a child. I take care of myself."
Heero wasn't sure what to say. He supposed Duo was doing what they called venting. It seemed good he found an outlet for the stress. Should he say something back to Duo? "Duo, I am not happy the belt is gone, but it was just a belt. I know you did not intend to lose it. I am not concerned with the belt anymore, only with you. Will you feel better? Can I do something for you?"
"No," Duo groaned, "I'm just hating life. Let me for a while."
Heero put the beer bottle on the desk and then lay down beside Duo. He lay an arm across Duo's stomach but did not attempt to move in such a way that might seem seductive. Heero thought he should try to be comforting. What would be comforting for Duo to hear?
"Duo, did you think it was sinful, what you did with me? Are you sorry because you thought that?"
"No, Heero. I swear by all that is holy, no. I'm sure I have believed in sin. I am sure I have sinned. But not with you. That was what I wanted to tell you. But I know I won't say it right. I wanted to write it down. I'm cursed. I was so happy. I was happy and then they just looked at me like I was a freak. I was not ashamed really, but it hurt. I couldn't let it roll. It just hurt. I had to watch that video, Heero."
"Was it very bad?"
"Horrible. It seemed created to make people afraid of their own sexuality. They couldn't even show naked human bodies, as if we should be ashamed of that too. They had this sort of primitive cartoon characters and they weren't even anatomically correct. God, it was just so badly done and horrible! I felt like I was in A Clockwork Orange watching it! So not Horrorshow." Duo groaned.
Heero was fairly sure Duo had said 'horrorshow' and not mispronounced 'khoroshó;' he was aware that use of the English slang word had been originated by a writer who had known the Russian word to play on it. Heero had never read or seen A Clockwork Orange, but he suspected the timing of Duo's words suggested it may have been the author of that book that had coined the phrase.
Talking wasn't helping. Duo just kept ranting more. Heero moved closer to Duo, laying his head on Duo's shoulder and hugging him more tightly with his arm. Koi whined after a minute and Duo was really non-responsive, so Heero pat the edge of the bed to signal Koi that he was permitted to share the space with them now. Koi leapt gracefully to the bed and then curled up behind Heero's legs and folded his head over Heero's thigh.
For many minutes they did nothing but lay in Duo's narrow bed sharing body warmth. Heero shut his eyes. He did not sleep or try to sleep but let his mind wander without concern. He should do something for Duo. Even if he had to go to Duo's school and speak to individuals of the clergy, he should try to help Duo.
No action that would upset Duo or drawn more negative attention should be taken, though Heero considered for a moment just sneaking in and stealing the belt.
They were alerted by a high pitched buzz followed by an open audio channel from dispatch. Heero sat up and focused on the small communication device built into the dorm room near the door. Duo was already out of bed and at the closet, Heero realizing, slowly it seemed, that Duo's movement had actually hurt his arm as he tore away from him.
"Code Gamma Alert for PDS pilots! PDS Pilot Gamma alert!" The dispatcher called out in a calm even tone.
Duo fit a communicator to his ear and activated it even as he was pulling on the flight suit he had stepped into. "Maxwell responding."
The audio channel on the wall device remained open. "Possible malfunctioning or runaway passenger shuttle on collision course with Colony Z10299..." the calm voice continued giving details of approach vectors and position in space and as relative to the colony. It was approaching against the rotation of the colony, if it hit, even with the automated seal systems, it could do significant damage to the colony. It was likely all the passengers would die.
"Do they know the make of the shuttle?" Heero whispered. That made a difference.
There was no one to answer. Duo was already in the hallway. Heero heard his voice, "Sayonara, Heero!"
Heero shivered and feeling cold hugged himself. "Damn your morbid sense of humor... you should have said 'ja ne!'"
There was nothing Heero could do. He wasn't part of their Defense Squadron. He wasn't even on the active roster. Heero didn't even have the clearance to go up to dispatch or control and monitor the teams on assignment.
He didn't have a mobile suit of his own that he could use and there wouldn't have been time to get to it.
All Heero could do was sit and listen to the channel of dispatch, which Duo had neglected to shut off as he left. He wouldn't be able to hear Duo and probably wouldn't hear truly secure information. The dispatcher said they had received confirmation on the make of the shuttle. It was American.
Heavy. Could do a lot of damage. On the lighter side of things, its construction might allow passengers within to survive. It depended on how it hit. It would very bad if they could not stop it from its collision course, because Colony Z10299 was part of the S4 Cluster like Z00001... precisely it was its hub. If the capitol had followed standard rules in designation rather than insist on a special number it would have been more obvious that it had come into being long after Z10299. The capitol should have been Z16500.
But... strike the hub, throw its rotation off and it was possible to damage the whole Side. There were emergency plans to deal with failure inartificial gravity or rotation or climate control. Anyone who lived long in the Colonies knew the drills.
Heero wished he could go with them. He was a good pilot. One pilot might make a difference. He calculated that they might have just enough time to stop the craft from hitting that colony. Whether they could keep it from crashing into anything at all was another matter.
Heero wanted badly to have access to their current information. The dispatcher had stopped giving information on this assignment and now Heero was overhearing orders for specific agents to respond to a tip regarding suspected arms smuggling Somewhere in S7, on the opposite side of the Earth from S4.
If he turned it off Heero would hear nothing. If he heard nothing then he wouldn't hear if more agents were called as backup or if officers were reported down or any of the other bad things that could happen on a mission. Heero didn't want to hear any of those things, but if he simply shut off the com unit, he would be imagining they were all being said. This way, if he listened and he didn't hear about those things, he at least knew that Duo was safe.
Heero lay down again, listening to dispatch and hugging Koi. He let himself fall into a half-sleep, wondering and imagining with eyes closed. Her knew the dangers of shuttle collisions with colonies. He had sent his report to the Z00001 commercial spaceport earlier the same day, after Lowe Security had tested their security almost a week ago. Heero had listed weaknesses and then given them common scenarios that they should be prepared against and his recommendations for how to specifically improve security.
It was rare a shuttle crashed into a colony not in the proximity of a port. Accidents and malfunctions happened. Even when crashes were intentional, it seldom worked to go for an area away from the port. Colonial early warning systems were excellent. Their long-range scanners could detect small craft outside or off of know flight paths by even a small degree. Immediately automatic and manned systems worked to identify and contact the craft and then, depending on the colony involved, unmanned Tugs or local security forces craft or other means would be employed to forcibly remove the craft or object from its course.
What if it wasn't a malfunction? What if it was manned? It was possible, but Heero didn't really want to think about it. He was in no position to do anything either way. Anything he thought of, Duo would probably think of. Duo was good at his job and he thought crafty. He'd probably considered the possibility of manned attempt at a crash before Heero had.
Heero hoped it wasn't manned. That made everything more dangerous.
Heero was brought out of his fitful half-sleep by a knock at the door. He stood quickly, turned off the communicator and then opened the door slowly. It was Hilde. She recognized him too. "Sorry to disturb you," she whispered quickly.
"He's not here."
For an instant Hilde's face twisted before it went blank. Heero thought it felt late. His body generally had a way of knowing the time. Heero opened the door more fully. "What time is it? Did you know he was on assignment? Were you with them?" Heero demanded all in rapid string of words.
Hilde shook her head. "I got the page, but I had to check in as 'unable to respond' as I was in the middle of a commercial shuttle flight here. I don't like it when the squadron gets assigned and any one of us can't go, but it happens. We have to accept that." Hilde's expression showed that she wished she could have gone with them just a Heero felt. She looked at a watch on her wrist. "That was a good four hours ago. I can probably find out their status."
"Well, did you hear any news? There hasn't been damage to the Side? I think I would have heard something..."
"I watched the regular news channels and no one here seemed upset, I thought they'd be back. Let's go find out for certain."
"I don't have clearance really."
Hilde glanced down at the ID. "That code just means you need an escort. Don't worry about it. I actually put in more hours than Duo and I am an officer. Besides, I've been working here pretty much since Noin left us, so my superiors are going to allow me all the leniency they can without risking security." Hilde smiled brightly. Heero imagined, especially with her dark hair, Lady Une and Sally Po must think of Hilde as a substitute for their friend and former co-worker, Lucretia Noin. In her way, Hilde had worked with the Gundam pilots almost as long as the others. Maybe longer than the Director had, but Heero would have to ask Duo about the order of those events.
Heero pat his leg and Koi came from the bed to his heel. Heero picked up his satchel and followed Hilde from the room. She said they could go to control, upstairs, to find where Duo was. As they moved through the hall they passed the rec area and Heero heard Duo's voice.
Hilde must have recognized it also, because she turned to go into the rec room then. As they moved inside, Heero saw that Duo and three others were in the kitchen at the refrigerator. Danjel Sobieski, Dorothy Catalonia, Gibson. Heero didn't actually know if that was the American kid's first or last name. Dorothy's flightsuit was gold, and though Heero knew Dorothy to like the color of that valuable mineral, he knew all female Preventers currently were issued flightsuits of that color.
Men wore a predominantly blue flightsuit, like the blue that was in their uniform jackets; navy blue Heero supposed. Duo had his peeled down to his waist to reveal his green T-shirt. Gibson as well wore his suit half-peeled, though he had a navy tank top on. He had a star tattooed on his right shoulder, about where the star badge would be on a uniform jacket.
They were all drinking beers they had just taken from the refrigerator and seemed to be joking with each other and hanging on each other's bodies in a very close way. Even Dorothy, who had always seemed standoffish to Heero, especially with men, had an arm about Danjel's waist.
"Hey Babe!" Duo called to Hilde, smiling.
"Missed you, Babe," Dorothy said with a smile. It seemed so strange that Dorothy would call Hilde that.
"I heard the page but I was on a commercial flight here," Hilde said. As she spoke Heero noticed Duo had finally noticed him. And then, Heero noticed that Duo didn't seem happy to see him. Heero didn't know what that look meant, but it made him feel cold.
"Yeah, but you're going to school to learn how to keep our suits in even better shape," Danjel said, "You're part of the team even when you can't make the flight... you helped customize and maintain all our mobile suits."
"Well, I see celebration, so I guess you didn't need me too badly," Hilde said.
"Yeah, yeah, piece of cake," Gibson said.
Duo was silent about it. That meant it had not been easy.
Heero wanted to know what happened. "How was the mission?" he asked.
That time all five of them stared at him blankly and for about five seconds.
"Well, Captain..." Danjel began.
Heero understood then. Maybe he was getting better at social engineering. Still, he should have caught on sooner. They were all teammates. They all risked their lives weekly if not daily. They watched each other's backs. To them, he was just this higher ranking officer who had gone into reserves rather than risk his life every day. They didn't think they owed him any answers. If they answered at all it was only out of respect for the actions Heero had taken in the past, not for who he was now.
Even Duo felt that way.
That was what the look meant. Heero did not fit within the group. Now Duo really did have a new four pilots to be a teammate to. Mariemaia had told Heero and he hadn't believed. And... they were all cute enough to have a calendar.
"Forget it. You don't have to tell me anything. You can just call me Heero, you know. Duo, thanks for helping me out earlier. I'm going home now, so I guess maybe I'll see you around. Ja ne." Heero turned quickly and then sucked in an uneven breath and walked quickly from the room.
It was after midnight. They did have a date that night, guaranteed. Duo would see him later.
Koi whined at Heero's leg. Heero stopped walking once he was near the front stairs. He stooped down and pet Koi. "Thanks for your concern, but I am fine. You certainly don't have to question that I am able to take care of you, ne?" Heero sighed. "Really, I promise."
Koi licked Heero's cheek.
"Guess this means you do get to sleep with me tonight, I'll certainly have room in my bed and no one will be there to protest."
"Heero..." It was just Hilde. She walked slowly toward him.
Heero made his face blank and looked toward her.
"Well... what I want to say is... you don't have to say anything... I won't assume..." Heero felt mildly horrified by whatever she was going to say that required so many prefaces. "Maybe I know how you feel and I am sorry for how we all acted. When you and Duo were both still Gundam pilots I always felt left out. I wanted to help. I just couldn't. So I had to stay behind worrying that Duo, and all of you, might die, just wishing I could help. And when I would see Duo next, he would always act really cold to me, but I learned not to take it personally. He had to act that way, because he knew I had worried over him, and he thought that if he was mean, I wouldn't like him enough to worry over him again."
Heero stood up. "I am fine, Hilde."
"OK." She looked back toward the rec room. "I didn't mean to say that you weren't fine. I just wanted to say what I needed to. I could have said something to you when we were both in there, to make you feel included, and I didn't."
"Hilde, when Duo had four Gundam pilots backing him up instead of four pilots of the PDS, we never celebrated like that. Maybe He did with Quatre and Trowa. I can't be sure about Wufei. I just know I never did. We were never that close..." a wave of hot uncomfortable regret washed over Heero. He had never done anything so simple and positive with Duo when he had the chance. The gruesome nature of the missions were not the point, it seemed normal just to celebrate the fact that they still lived. It was not the death or pain of others that public servants celebrated, always the good parts of the job after a tough assignment. "Go back in there, Hilde. You deserve it. You all do. Make sure he knows he isn't dead."
"They told me what happened. Don't you want to know."
"No. Not anymore. If I know, I'll worry."
"Heero... if you leave I will sleep with him." It seemed an odd thing to say. It could have been a threat, but it didn't sound like one, and actually, it wasn't a very logical threat. Hilde would sleep with him if what? If Heero didn't?
"Go ahead," Heero said flatly.
"He likes you, Heero. I'm not a bitch. If you stay, I won't try a thing. But if you leave right now, I'll sleep with Duo. And I do mean, I'll fuck him first and then sleep at his side the rest of the night."
Why was she saying that? What could Heero possibly say in response?
"I'll like doing it, I've got to be honest, but I'll do it now for him. You understand? I know what happened and I know that he'll have nightmares tonight. I care about Duo, Heero, and if you don't sleep the night next to him and wake him from nightmares and let him lash out at you in his sleep and comfort him when he wakes in a cold sweat, then I will, because I can't stand that he should be alone on this kind of night."
Heero understood. Hilde did like having Duo as her 'safe' boyfriend, but she cared about him enough to want him to be taken care of, even if it wasn't by her. And if no one else would take care of him, Hilde would continue. Maybe Hilde was quite ready to give him up. What could Heero say in response?
"You take this vigil, Hilde, because in my plan, you don't have many nights left with him."
She gasped, surprised perhaps.
"It's not personal," Heero assured her, "in fact I like you and respect how much you care about him. I have a sort of arrangement with Duo, and I can't insist he follows my plan right now, so you enjoy him while you can and make him happy. Soon I will be the only one to fuck him and soothe the nightmares away and wake entwined with him, and then, I think I would have to take offense if you 'tried anything.'"
"Well, as long as you do make him happy I won't try anything. He wants you, Heero. Even now when he's being an ass, it's more so you won't worry than anything else. Duo flies with us now, but he's always going to have been a Gundam pilot with you. No one can change that you have history."
"Goodnight, Hilde." Heero didn't listen for another word. He pat his leg and then went down the stairs.
|