Disclaimer: This is fanfiction based on the characters and universe of Gundam Wing.

Another Version of Events
by Karan Seraph
Chapter 11

It was Tuesday night. It was the Eleventh. Heero had begun mission planning for the Zee-Four-Zeros Commercial Spaceport Account and logged in an acceptable number of hours on that task for the day. He was alone, except for Koi, and the young dog was shut out of the bedroom.

Still dressed from the day Heero carefully prepared for his planned experiment with a tingling feeling of anticipation throughout his body and something that might be near-giddiness effecting his mood. He was going to masturbate with forethought and entirely on purpose. He had a plan to pleasure himself and this was a necessary step being able to pleasure Duo in the future.

Heero went over his mental checklist. He should attempt to get as much information and practical experience out of this one task as possible. He needed to get a baseline for himself, and so the computer's timer set to a large stopwatch like display was necessary to corroborate his internal clock. This time, the goal was to be as fast and efficient as possible, to get an idea of what the minimum or inside of his body's range might be.

Once Heero understood the least amount of time it would take he might later work on discovering the longest he could endure without release. Research indicated that, as with many other feats of physical endurance, one could build their endurance with training. Once Heero had only been able to run five klicks, or to go one day without sleep and he had greatly extended those times.

The computer was active and out of the way on a corner of the nearly square surface of the futon. Elsewhere on his bed was a neat line of small items including two tubes of lubricant, several packets containing condoms and a few neatly folded PMTs among other items. Heero did not think he would need all of those items at once, but it made sense to have them all nearby should he want any of them.

Heero rose from his bed and went to the shelf. He took down the art book/sex manual. He might need this. Already, the past two nights, Hero had read the novels containing many erotic scenes. The second one, Blood Wing, had not been strictly erotic in nature, but since Duo recommended it Heero felt familiarity with the story and characters would help him understand Duo.

Heero could be objective enough to see that the character Yukio might remind Duo of him. They both had been warriors of sort. Both had been orphaned. Both had lost their teachers. Both were Japanese. As well, Yukio seemed to have a lasting involvement with a Russian noble that was in some ways like Relena. She was Katya and Yukio had protected her many times, since her childhood using his samurai skills and vampiric abilities. Later the vampire Leander had made Katya a vampire by giving her his blood. This had been a rather sore point between Leander and Yukio, who otherwise had been something like friends and lovers before and after each was involved with Katya.

There had been a sex scene involving all three of those vampiric characters. The previous book's characters had each had multiple lovers, but not at one time. Heero did not think he would want to do that. He was only very attracted to Duo. It seemed... complicated. Heero wondered if he could convince Duo to give up all other lovers.

Heero had decided that to begin he would take what he could get from Duo. He had convinced himself to consider that keeping multiple lovers might be very normal and that Heero did not need to change Duo.

But, the more he thought about it, the more he wished there was someone just for him. He wanted Duo to belong to him. Heero thought he might be willing to fight for him. Not with violence, that shouldn't be necessary. But, in the future, when he was more certain of Duo's feelings... if Duo did not offer to do so on his own Heero would ask him to be his alone.

Heero lay his book on the bed, along the side near the computer but not taken up by other items.

It was time.

Heero removed his clothing and then crawled forward, across his bed, toward his book. He was moving up from study of texts to visual aids. As well, he was going to attempt to arouse himself and reach climax, not at random as dreams or fantasies came to him, but because his body required training and he was choosing the time. Without a fantasy forming by chance Heero needed to find ways to be aroused.

He thought he should try to stimulate all his senses. This seemed most efficient, and in this case efficient and fast were acceptable. Heero opened the book to a page. As the book fell open Heero reached to his side and picked up a small vial of essential oil that he had picked up earlier that day when he had returned to Tang's Apothecary. He had wanted something that smelled like Duo and Duo smelled like things from that shop.

The vanilla oil was just one of his purchases. Quickly Heero switched on stopwatch on his computer and then he put his finger to the end of the vial then tipped it. He closed the vial then rubbed the oil from his finger over the inside of his left wrist. Heero replaced the vial in the row and then held his left wrist close to his face as he gazed down at the pages of the book.

There were two scenes here, one on each side of the gutter. There was a boy in remnants of a girl's school uniform pressed up against a wall and at once kissed and anally penetrated by another boy. In the other picture one young man was standing on his knees and his partner was lying on the bed... well, he was not really lying exactly, as his hips were raised to such a height by the other boy. Heero could not tell if the closed eyes and open mouth looked more like pain or ecstasy.

Heero licked at his right palm, to have a taste of skin, and because research suggested saliva was sometimes used as body lubrication. Heero teased his penis erect with soft strokes as he looked at the book. He took one of the containers of lubricant from the bed then, needing to test each brand and thinking that he could do this at the same time as he was working on timing his body.

With just a small amount of the lubricant in his hand Heero could work his hand over his erection much more smoothly. This felt good. He continued to look at the book, sometimes reaching to turn the pages with his left hand or imagining that one of the young men was Duo.

The vanilla scent reminded him of Duo. It wasn't Duo exactly, but it was close enough that Heero found it easy to imagine Duo's body was close enough to smell. Heero imagined that Duo was touching him. He imagined that it was Duo's hands, or his body that surrounded him.

Heero kept his movements precise and rapid, his goal in this case only being to reach climax and not to please a lover directly or extend an act. He used his left hand to touch other parts of his body. The zones of the body that caused pleasure when stimulated were not identical on every man or woman. All men might be prone to feel pleasure in similar areas but it was not exactly the same on every body. Heero tried to note what felt good to him, but even making mental notes was difficult as he was steadily approaching orgasm.

He knew enough to sense its approach.

That was good, recognizing how soon release would come.

And then the orgasm hit and Heero was half-aware that the soft gasping sounds he heard came from himself.

Heero reached his left hand toward the computer and stopped the clock. Just shy of three minutes. He activated the stop clock again and then fell back against the futon and tried to slow his breaths.

Really that had felt so good for something that had taken so little time. But, the primary biological cause for the evolution of the pleasure he felt was procreation. Male animals should want to penetrate and thrust against other bodies and release should come before their intended could escape. In many species intercourse was like conquest.

Maybe even in humans.

He didn't wish for children right now, but he wished for Duo's body under him. He wished for the orgasm. He wished to see Duo give up fighting and loose all his pain, even if it was only for a few moments.

Even after the training, it would take time to know everything about his lover's body. Heero wanted to know exactly what made Duo feel good. Heero reached for a PMT to clean himself. Maybe a soft cloth and water would have been better, but he was used to the feeling of the pre-moistened towels on his skin and the sharp, clean citrus scent they left. He doubted there was a soldier who had been in the field or on a space mission that had not considered these their shower for a time.

Heero propped himself up on his side and pulled his book into view. The drawings really were pretty. They depicted seemingly endless positions and acts. Heero thought two athletic and youthful men such as Duo and he could manage to mimic the poses of these anime style boys. Heero looked at the pages and pictured Duo and he were in each position.

Koi was baying.

Heero growled. There was no moon to see. Everything in the other room should be secured.

Koi barked and clawed at Heero's door. And then Heero heard it, the knocking sound coming through the two rooms of his apartment. Heero breathed a curse as he hopped up from the bed. He opened a drawer for a pair of leggings and then quickly stepped into them as he walked the few steps to the bedroom door.

Koi stopped clawing and barking when he saw Heero and then padded lightly to the front door. The knocking came again.

Heero closed the door to the bedroom behind him and took a quick inventory of his person. He was half-dressed but decent. Heero hurried silently to the door and checked the peephole. "Mariemaia?" He asked himself.

Heero opened the door. The nine-year-old was standing in the hall smiling up at him. She walked right into his apartment.

"You're alone?" Heero asked. He shut the door and turned around. Mariemaia was petting Koi on the head. He noticed a small lunch box in her left hand. "What are you doing here?"

"It looks nice here," Mariemaia said, "Somehow I thought you would just have guns and computers where you lived."


"Something smells funny..."

"Does it?" Heero asked. Could the girl scent the sex in the air? Heero thought he could or it was the scent he carried with him.

"Are you cooking up explosives in your kitchen, Heero Yuy?" Mariemaia laughed as she rose from petting his dog.

"Something like that," Heero said. He did actually have plastic explosive setting up in his kitchen, but thought it best not to admit that. "What do you want?" He asked, relieved he would not have to discuss sex with Mariemaia.

Mariemaia presented the lunchbox. "My Une said to give you this. She said you would figure out what it was when you opened it."

Heero opened the box. Inside he found several cold packs and several vials of blood. He realized that this was Trant's blood and that Lady Une had broken protocol and laws to get it.

"So, what is it?"

"You don't know?"

Mariemaia sighed. "Une gave me the 'adult world children can't understand' speech. I hate that speech. But, if I looked she would just know. She's scary in that way, like a real mother I suppose."

"I do know what it is, she obviously risked a lot to give me this. But Une is correct, you shouldn't have to understand what this is or why it was needed."

"I know it's packed cold. I was hoping for something cool, like a severed hand or some viable cloning cells."

Heero put the whole box into his refrigerator, calling to Mariemaia, "Aren't you out late alone? Are you safe?"

She laughed, "I am the ward of the Director of Preventers, Master Chang has been training me in martial arts for over a year, I think we could say the Vice Minister is a friend and I am a Khushrenada... I can take care of myself."

"You could be a target," Heero corrected.

"Well, Relena is not the only one who ever had brave knights to protect her," Mariemaia said, "There are brave men who would come to my rescue."

"You actually get along well with Wufei."

"We have an understanding. But he is not the only one. Another one who wore the blue and khaki for me is still close by."

"It's not Trowa," Heero stated firmly.

"No," Mariemaia giggled, "He's still bitter at anyone who was a Barton. It's Gibson. He takes orders from Une now, as do many who used to follow my father or me, but he would come to my rescue if I needed it."

"Gibson." Heero didn't like that kid. He was like a kid. Probably only a year younger than Heero, but he couldn't have been in very many battles.

"He was a special youth. I gave him a Serpent of his own, but now those are illegal and he pilots a customized Taurus for the Preventer's Defense Squadron. You know who else is in the PDS? Relena's friend Sobieski. And Hilde and Cousin Dorothy, and your friend, Maxwell. They are all so close, our Defense Squadron." The girl beamed a smile, "They all look so cute together, the five of them. There should be a calendar."

Heero narrowed his eyes at Mariemaia. We are all on the same side now, but Mariemaia has learned from her elders to be manipulative, Heero thought. "Duo already has four friends who are just as cute."

"Oh... really?" Mariemaia asked in casual tone, "I hadn't noticed, recently." She moved toward the door. Nine and she was political and manipulative, but Heero shouldn't be shocked. At seven she had tried to take over the world.

What might Mariemaia be when she grew up?

"Goodnight, Mariemaia, I trust you can take care of yourself enough to reach home safely."

"Yes, I am more dangerous to my enemies now than I was two years ago, and now I know who my real enemies are."

She's going to rule the world, for real, Heero thought as Mariemaia left his apartment. She was just a little girl, but she made him feel the way her father had. When they were alone together Heero felt she controlled things and held power, even when she might not, he felt that she did.

His schedule was off now. He couldn't calculate his minimum recovery time after this interruption. Heero went to his desk and dialed Midii from his computer as he thought about his training. She answered promptly.

"I have something you may be interested in, it'll keep for a while, but you might want to find a doctor you can trust to look at it."


"Pick it up at any time. I can only pass it on to you, I won't test it or give you results."


It was strange how he knew what she was thinking... or rather what she was about to say. "Of course not. It's just a sample taken from the source. That is still secure where it has been kept recently. I didn't disturb it at all."

"Oh," Midii said, relieved. "I'll come over now?"

"Understood." Heero disconnected then. He got up and went back into his bedroom. He shut down the clock then opened the text file he had prepared to record his training.

Already Heero had recorded that he had purchased training aids and that he had read erotic novels. He had recorded his thoughts on each and his thoughts on the acts described.

Heero now typed in the time it had taken him to masturbate and made a few notes about the method.

He saved and then in a separate file Heero recorded his theories about where erogenous zones might be located on his own body.

Again Heero saved. He opened the file he kept of feelings and thoughts he wished to communicate to Duo.

1. I love you, Duo.
2. I have never had another sex partner besides you, Duo.
3. I am heartily sorry for having offended you, Duo.
4. You're fuckin' hot, Baby!

Heero re-read the list. He had communicated some of these things to Duo already. He commented out numbers 2 and 3 as if in writing code. Heero added a new entry: 5. I wish for you to be mine alone, Duo.

Heero considered and then typed more. 6. I want to learn everything that pleases you, Duo. 7. I want to do everything that pleases you, Duo.

That looked good, for now.

Heero got the Preventer porn discs from his shelf then stretched out on his bed again, within view of his mobile computer. Heero loaded the first disc. If Midii was on her way here he would not take action, but he thought it would be all right to just watch. If Midii should find him aroused and notice, Heero didn't think it would matter.

He did not wish for her to know, but if she discovered, he would not really care about her knowing.

Heero was learning that porn was always on the cutting edge of technology. Whatever technology was available, there was porn for. Video phones had been invented and video boys and girls had been made available. These discs had all options, various language tracks, not only for translation, but because one voice might sound more or less sexy to each listener. They had multiple camera angles to look at for each scene.

Heero wasn't prepared for so many choices. He didn't know what to expect. He had gone shopping for a certain kind of porn and ended up buying this because it was so obviously about Preventers, even if it carefully changed the names of everything to avoid being libelous.

Heero watched the movie, To Serve and Prevent, start as he flipped through his book. The movie didn't start with sex right off, but it did begin with displays of nudity. The actors, or characters were in a sort of locker room or communal shower. These were all men. Some credits played and some rock music as the camera moved down one wet body and then another.

And before Heero understood why, a fight had broken out and wet naked men were wrestling with each other in a spray of water and steam.

The scene then cut quickly to some sort of office conference room with a picture of the real President and Vice-foreign Minister on the wall to suggest government agency. The men were now hastily dressed in various parts of navy, sage and olive uniform and the promised Domineering Director was berating them all for their lack of teamwork and discipline.

The array of young male agents half dressed or wearing towels didn't look exactly like the Preventer agents Heero knew, but they had the same mix of ethnic backgrounds and body types... and hair colors.

The Director, with her uniform jacket and shirt open to show significant cleavage, announced that her assistants would give the boys their new orders, designed to improve teamwork and morale.

Her pair of assistants, both general Eurasian in features, though one had blonde hair and one black, sauntered into view and gave the line of men lustful looks. There were about nine young men in the group. The blonde woman gave a quick bit of exposition about there having been some wars and how their organization had recruited agents from all the past factions and groups involved in the wars and that now all their agents must realize they were on the same side and learn to love each other.

The camera moved over the various young men as the office gave her speech. They reminded Heero just enough of himself and the other Gundam pilots, of Zechs, of Ralph and strangely there was one kid who reminded him of Gibson. Heero wasn't sure if the last man represented anyone in particular, though he had brown hair and eyes and he had been instigator of the shower room fight.

The new orders split the nine men into three separate teams, all of the agents being taken from anyone who may have served as their partner before and placing them with those they had been fighting with. 'Quatre,' ''Wufei' and 'Ralph' made up one team and none seemed very pleased. 'Quatre' and 'Ralph' started to argue again right away. The next team was announced: 'Duo,' 'Trowa' and the other one Heero decided was supposed to be Nicol. 'Duo' then complained loudly that he would not trust the other two to watch his back and that he'd rather kill himself than end up a prisoner and knowing his new partners he'd probably have to take his own life very soon. That left 'Heero' with 'Zechs' and 'Gibson.'

"I would never work well with them," Heero said to himself as he watched the movie.

'Heero' just glared at the others.

Each team was given a mission. What the agents did not know, but which was revealed to her assistants by the Director as all three undressed in her office and had sex on her couch, was that each of these current missions had nothing to do with national security but were invented to get the boys to spend a lot of time close together.

Heero didn't think he had ever seen girls have sex. He didn't think he had seen girls kiss, well, there had been some girls in a stairwell at the Academy in Sanc that broke apart when they saw Heero on the stairs, but Heero hadn't seen much.

The actresses that played the director and her remotely 'Sally' and 'Lucretia' assistants seemed a little more into the camera and the viewer than each other. Well, they seemed interested in pleasuring each other, but when they moved, they were very clever about choosing positions that allowed the viewer to see everything they did and how excited they were.

Heero heard the bell as this scene was going on. He paused the movie and walked to his door, Koi jumping, but not showing signs of alarm. Heero quickly checked the video peephole and saw it was Midii.

Heero opened the door. "Have you ever had sex with a woman?" He asked in flat tone as soon as he could see Midii.

Her brow wrinkled and she pushed past him into the apartment. "You don't have one waiting here for me do you?"


"For a second I imagined you wanted your two secret girlfriends to put on a show for you."

"Why would I...? And I don't...?" Heero gave up trying to communicate what he meant. Midii knew.

"I have," Midii said seriously.

Heero gave a nod then beckoned for her to follow. He returned to his bed and skipped the movie back to earlier in the lesbian threesome. He saw Midii come slowly into the room and noted that her eyes widened slightly at the items lain out on the bed. "Did it look like this?"

Midii walked around the frame and the futon on it and peered down at the mobile's monitor from beside the bed. "Not exactly."

"How was the real sex different from this?" Heero asked seriously.

"Well, there was only two of us... it was quieter... and I think a lot more would have been hidden from view."

"Oh. So, this porn isn't very realistic."

"Well..." Midii crawled onto the bed and knelt beside Heero. "It wasn't totally unlike it either, and I think sex is different with each partner. It could be some people really are like this, whether a camera is on them or not."


"So. Blood sample?"

"In the fridge."

"Only blood."

"Yes. Isn't that...?"

"Yeah, that's all we need, I was just wondering about the contents."

Heero knew what Midii had wondered but he didn't want to think about it, so he thought about the movie that was playing instead. The scene cut to a fairly usual looking Colonial home interior where 'Heero' was settling in with his two new partners. 'Zechs' was saying that they had to keep a low profile in this safehouse while they kept the neighborhood under surveillance for possible terrorist group meetings.

There were better ways to trace terrorist activity than to move into a suspicious neighborhood and a safehouse wasn't the same thing as the place one set up an undercover identity or a surveillance post, but Heero let his disbelief pass and continued watching. This was research.

"I haven't actually been in the military, but what ranks are those guys if the Ensign is giving them orders?"

"I don't know, but Ensign is a naval rank, Preventers doesn't even have Ensigns. I think we're are supposed to suspend disbelief and enjoy the building sexual tension."

"They are all cute. I've seen porn with nasty looking actors, so I have to give them that."

The scene cut again to show 'Duo' with 'Trowa and 'Nicol.' They were in what looked like a hotel room and opening the gear they had been issued. 'Trowa' read their orders from a digital pad. "We are to infiltrate the nightclub across the street to determine if the owners are trading in outlawed weaponry."

'Nicol' held up some bondage gear. "What sort of nightclub is it?"

"I knew this would happen!" 'Duo' screeched, "I am not going to play pet or slave for anyone here!"

"It's for a mission! It was always for a mission! I certainly never took pleasure in locking you up, regardless of what you may think," 'Trowa' said.

"Yeah, then you be the slave."

"I'm not sure, but I think some of this stuff is supposed to be worn by a woman," 'Nicol' said.

The scene cut again and all three were dressed. 'Nicol' was all trussed up in leather and even had a mask over his head with a zipper over his mouth. 'Duo' was more conservatively dressed, but entirely in black vinyl. The other one had to be the movie's version of Trowa, but it really looked like a girl was with the other two now.

"Oh..." Midii sighed.

"I think she's... I mean he's supposed to be like their Trowa."


Heero looked at the screen. He half wondered what had happened to the other three, but then he stopped wondering. The tall long-haired young man was kissing the tall femme young man in the corset while he unzipped the mask of the other and forced him to his knees with a tug of the leash attached to his collar.

For a second Heero questioned why all of a sudden being in the fetish gear made the agents all want each other, but then he sort of forgot to want there to be plot and watched the boys that were not quite Duo and Trowa suck at each other's faces.

"Not me. Under the skirt. Do her and make me believe you enjoy it!" 'Duo' commanded.

This was strange. Heero was sure the real Duo did secretly want to be the slave or pet. He wondered if this character would later discover he wanted that.

As otherwise stoic 'Trowa' wildly screamed his ecstasy the scene cut to the third team. 'Quatre' and his partners had apparently been assigned to guard a diplomat, but they seemed to have a lot of time to stand around in dress uniform type costumes bickering.

Then 'Wufei' said, "Stop fighting over him, that's all you are really fighting over, you know! Don't you care what he would want? I know that I would rather you both were my lovers than have to listen to you argue one more second."

"You would rather we both were your lovers?" 'Quatre' asked the Chinese actor.

'Ralph' wagged an eyebrow at that.

A few moments later those three were all naked on a conveniently placed couch.

Heero did not think he wanted his friend Quatre to have sex with him, but he had to admit, this porn star 'Quatre' got him more than a little excited. He just instantly fell into command and yet, he seemed to be giving those he ordered a lot of pleasure with everything he did. And he had a very attractive body, that actor.

Not as attractive as the real life Duo, Heero thought, not in Heero's opinion.

Once the Chinese character had been brought to orgasm the scene cut to the S&M nightclub. In the background extras were involved in some pretty explicit and serious scenes involving flagellation. 'Duo' was standing with a minor character and looking satisfied as he watched his two slaves together. 'Nicol' had been released from his restrictive garments just enough to allow him to fuck 'Trowa.'

All the time he was grunting and telling the agent in drag how much he hated him. He hated how perfect he was. He hated how much the Director favored him. He hated how pretty he was. He hated how good his tight ass felt. He hated how much he wanted him.

'Nicol' was jealous and hated his own lust and he was focusing all his self-hatred into violent thrusts. It looked frightening, and that one who looked like Trowa was held from escaping because, their master had chained his slaves together and cuffed 'Trowa' to a rail along the wall. Heero didn't entirely want to watch, but then, the camera showed the face of that young actor and a jump cut demonstrated that the gaze on that face was for 'Duo' his master. Heero thought that look was both wicked and satisfied. Heero thought that look said that 'Trowa' liked the position he was in well enough and credited his master with all the pleasure he felt, even though his master wasn't touching him at all.

Heero didn't know what to think of this, other than to think that was what it looked like.

Midii was looking about as uncomfortable as Heero felt being near her now.

The scene cut again. 'Heero' was coldly announcing to 'Zechs' that he could not concentrate on his mission because he felt too much built up sexual tension.

'Zechs' pointed out that there was nothing to do about it. They had all been ordered there and were without their usual partners or their lovers. A cocky comment from 'Gibson' indicated that to 'Heero' a partner was the same thing as a lover. 'Heero' glared, but he said, "There is a solution."

Soon those three were in a bed and stripping off clothing.

"I can't watch this," Heero said. He reached to the keys and made the video skip ahead.

"Did you think one of them was like you?"

"Did you?" Heero asked.

"Maybe," Midii admitted.

Heero said nothing to that. He checked the movie. The plot, such as it was had returned to the club. 'Nicol' was absent and his two partners seemed literally locked in a closet together. 'Trowa' removed the cuffs hanging from one of her... his wrists and put them on 'Duo.'

The long-haired undercover agent protested but the agent in drag whispered to him calmly, promising to keep him safely in his care and insisting he be trusted.

"But anyone could come in and see me like this."

"Yes. Anyone at any time. You'll just have to trust me to take care of things. Haven't I always kept you safe?"

'Duo' didn't answer except to suddenly look very aroused and to slit his eyes as he looked over his shoulder.

"Let me out," he said then.

"I'll let you go when you need to be let go."

"I need to be let go."

"That isn't what you need and you know it."

'Duo' agreed with a nod. Rather quickly he was stripped of his clothes. This actor had a nice body too, Heero thought. He didn't really look like Duo. He didn't sound like Duo either, he seemed to have a Scottish accent, but he was just close enough that Heero could very easily imagine Duo was in a closet, naked and in a state to ask for it.

Heero saw the thrust that entered him and he felt it. He hadn't touched himself, no one had, but Heero was so focused on the idea of Duo being in the place of that actor that he had imagined he was the one that made those thrusts. He didn't physically feel anything, but in his mind he felt it.

"I can't watch this," Midii said. That snapped Heero out of his daze. It was the other actor. Midii could only take so much of the Trowa-like character.

Heero stopped the movie. "Thanks for answering my questions."

"No problem," Midii said as she walked to the bedroom door. Heero followed and escorted Midii to the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and removed the lunchbox.

Midii took the box. She opened it and looked inside. After checking the contents she gave a nod then closed the box again. "Thank you."

"It was all Lady Une," Heero said quietly, "I don't know how she got it, it wasn't officially, I can tell you that."

"I don't suppose I want to know," Midii said, "But I am grateful."


Midii walked to the door. She tipped her head toward the kitchen. "So, when do you build the bomb?"

Heero smiled slightly. "Thursday we'll do everything. It will only be a dummy."

"I know. You wouldn't want to blow a 'death hole' in the Colony hull," Midii said slowly. It seemed she had only just learned of those dangers since moving here with Heero.

"They do have emergency seal systems, but their effectiveness depends greatly on where the hole is and how large it is. A large enough bomb or a beam weapon can take out a colony before anyone has a chance to get into suits or make seals."

Midii sighed. "I've never seen bodies that died that way. Have you seen bodies that died... in space?"

Heero gave a nod. He recited coldly. "There is the cold and the vacuum. You might freeze dry before the vacuum effects you or you might decompress in the vacuum and then freeze. All depends on the circumstances. If an explosion caused the accident and there was air then bodies might be burnt or in pieces as well."

"How much of that stuff did you make?"

"Not much. Enough to make the dummy bombs detectable to the same means that would detect a real bomb, in order to test them. It has to be made of the same materials to give them a chance to catch us."

"Right. But... you could make an undetectable bomb, couldn't you?"

Another nod. "If I had cause to, I could destroy a lot of things without leaving traceable evidence of any kind... I hope I never have cause to again. I..."

"Didn't we all learn that locking up weapons isn't the answer?" Midii prompted, "You are no more a danger to society than anyone else, just because of your knowledge. Probably less a danger, as you already know that you don't want to use that knowledge to harm anyone."

"Aa. Arigato."

Midii smiled then slipped out the door with the blood samples on ice. Heero did not want to know how Lady had gotten those.

He locked the door again and scanned the interior of his apartment. Heero picked up his dog and then went to his bedroom again. He lay on his bed, idly scratching Koi's neck as the dog lay against his chest and watching the end of the movie.

The agents were returning from their missions. Clearly they were all making contact with the friends, lovers or partners that had been separated from and using what they had learned. 'Gibson' approached 'Nicol,' grabbed him by the tie and suggested that they turn to each other to work out their frustration and that if 'Nicol' fucked him very well 'Gibson' might even wear a dress.

Heero skipped through their scene that demonstrated this.

'Zechs' and 'Ralph' quickly fell into a bed together. That surprised Heero. He wondered why the writers had paired them. The only things that had in common, to Heero's knowledge, was that presently both lived on Mars and worked with Lucretia.

Heero did watch their scene. Koi tried to wander and sniffed at the condoms. Heero grabbed his harness and drew the puppy back. "Chew those and you die," Heero warned. He returned his attention to the movie. He wasn't interested in the actors personally or in anyone they represented, but Heero thought he liked the way they moved with each other. Their 'Zechs' was very smooth about directing his partner to take a certain position. Of course, they were working from a script and knew their choreography, but it still looked impressive to Heero.

Heero wondered if in all universes Quatres and Trowas were paired together. In the movie they were. Quatre on the bottom? Heero wondered at that. The Quatre he knew had been small, like this actor, but his personality had never suggested to Heero that he would be dominated by anyone. Sensitive, but that came from growing up aware of empathic ability, Heero had always thought.

"You are the only one I can surrender to," 'Quatre' cried out. So, maybe they were saying that the young man who had previously in the movie dominated his two partners could act differently for this partner.

Trowa was a mystery, real or fake, even to Heero.

Heero wondered where their version of Wufei had gone. He saw 'Duo' looking for something in a computer lab, well, it was the movie's version of a computer lab. It actually looked like the machines from a secretarial pool collected in a large closet. They had inadequate ventilation and fire extinguishing systems. Heero forced his mind to suspend disbelief again as the agent found what he was looking for.

It was 'Heero' sitting at a computer and typing.

"You know the missions were all set-ups; you don't have to write a report."

"Oh, I think the Director deserves a full report of everything that happened."

"Oh. Maybe you could help me with my report."

"If you brief me on what went on."

"I could show you, if we got the appropriate gear from the equipment room. I think that's a two man job."

"Mission accepted."

The scene cut to the equipment room, or maybe it was Prop Storage. The hair extensions were loose and 'Duo' was screaming. "Fuck," Heero whispered. The fake him was having sex with the fake Duo and they both seemed to be enjoying it. "Maybes." Heero wished it was him. He wished he could really get Duo up against a wall like that and hear him make those noises.

They were like screams, but not indicative of pain. They were good sounds.

Heero shifted onto his back and stared at the ceiling. It was blank like most ceilings but he was seeing Duo there.

Heero didn't even know why he wanted Duo so much. It seemed like it had happened so quickly. The decision to move home, wanting to find him a present, arguing, wanting to touch him, wanting to kiss him, wanting to have sex with him... falling in love with him.

Heero knew it was true. Somehow he was sure. But, he wasn't any more prepared to love someone that have sex with them, not really. Some amount of both seemed to come naturally, but as for the rest Heero was just going on what he felt. And where that had failed, he was training.

Heero closed his eyes and Duo was there.

Beside him some female voices were saying, "Oh, Commander Chan..."

Heero opened his eyes and turned his head toward the computer. That answered where 'Wufei' had gone. He was with the Director and her two assistants. Heero shut the movie off. He moved his fingers over the keys, activating the timer again.

"Duo," he whispered.

Heero slipped a hand beneath the waistband of his leggings. On a Tuesday night Duo was probably at Headquarters or staying with Relena. There was no time difference. Duo could be in his bed thinking about Heero. Heero wondered what Duo was doing. He wondered if he was alone.

He wanted to call him. He wanted to call and say he couldn't wait and swear that he loved him.

But, Duo might not believe him. Duo might be hurt if Heero wasn't really ready.

He needed him. Needed to have him here, in the bed, close enough to touch. Heero touched himself and thought on how much he wanted Duo, his scent, his taste. Thoughts of cleanliness vanished, Heero wanted any part of Duo in his mouth that he could fit... well, maybe after he gave him a bath.

Later, after he had reached orgasm again, Heero lay sleepy and languid on his bed. He told himself he could sleep now and shower in the morning. He argued that if he took a cool shower now he would wake enough to get more things done before his body absolutely needed sleep.

His mind wandered. Heero felt he was drifting toward sleep. Events from the past day and other thoughts and memories came to mind. The numbers came back, the tallies of all who had died, but Heero pushed the numbers back in his mind and thought of Duo. He saw Duo, only he wasn't pretty and happy, he was shouting at Heero with a bleeding lip. He was telling Heero that he'd been traipsing all over Earth. Heero saw Midii then, wiping tears as she explained just how far Trant had gone in attacking Ursula and why they needed tests.

He sat up in bed, everything gone dim but for the random swirls of color on his computer screen. Koi lifted his head from where he was curled on a corner of the futon, near Heero's feet. "Is it more comforting or more insulting if I show him proof that I'm not sick?" Heero asked, not expecting that Koi knew.

Heero supposed some people must do that, must obtain proof of their health. Even if they didn't show the documents to their lover, they must do it so they would know the truth if asked for it. Heero supposed it was necessary in some cases. If one was know to have had many lovers in the past or to have been involved in medical experiments at any time...

"I hate doctors!" Heero announced, mostly to himself. The topic could come up, Heero supposed. He imagined that if he did get to have sex with Duo and he did reach that point in which he was asking that Duo be his lover exclusively that there would be so much need for condoms and related measures. Well, there wouldn't be unless they knew one of them carried a disease.

Heero bit his lip. He supposed that if Duo could get mad and suspect him of it that he could get mad one day and suspect Duo. Logically, it would just make sense to know, to have proof.

Obtaining proof was no large problem. Heero disliked doctors, but he was willing to see one. He just wasn't sure if he was supposed to announce this to Duo or not. He thought it could be seen as kind and comforting, but on the other hand, it could be seen as insulting and as a gesture aimed at gaining reciprocal action from Duo.

"Well, it must be more polite to offer information about oneself than to ask for the information about another, even if bringing it up at all may not be the most courteous thing."

Heero went on talking to himself, "Midii might not know this. She doesn't seem to have been in a relationship and this is more a relationship issue than about sex. Ursula knows about manners, but I would hate to ask her about this now. I suppose Relena might know. I don't think she has been in a serious relationship, but I know the sort of women she spends time with. She must have learned this stuff... besides, Relena has a mother. Someone who still has a mother ought to know about Relationships, I would think."

Koi lowered his head to his forelegs and then rolled his eyes up to gaze at Heero. Heero smiled slightly at the little dog. He was a strange shaped animal, like a dog that was half jackal. Heero smiled again and leaned forward to scratch lightly at Koi's tall upright ears.

"To late to call. I'll message her. I suppose I'll have other things to discuss with her anyway." Heero rolled to his stomach and moved the computer into view. He composed a text message indicating that he wanted to meet with Relena to talk and that Thursday was bad for him. He told her she could call him any time or leave messages. Heero then sent the message to Relena.

He was naked again and the bed was a mess. Heero straightened up the room, leaving the computer and book on his bed and putting everything else away. He lay down again, covering himself with a sheet, and closed his eyes.

He had been counting backward to put himself to sleep and on a low number when the sound from his computer indicated an incoming call. Heero turned toward the machine and checked the number on the call. Relena's personal line.

Heero ran a hand threw his hair, cleared his throat and then checked that the sheet covered most of his body. He answered the call, taking the blind off to allow Relena to see the video. Not that she would see very much, the room was dim. "Relena."

"Heero." She was in her bedroom, it seemed, wearing something smaller than a tank top and larger than a bra. Heero didn't rightly know what that was called. "I just wanted to get back to you to tell you that I do want to talk, but since Thursday is bad for you I'm afraid we couldn't meet in person until Saturday. Maybe Friday night... " She laughed, "But then people would say we were dating."


"But we can talk on the phone. We can even talk now."

"Aa. I don't know if everything I want to say is best said over the phone."

"But you can talk now?" Relena asked.

"Yes. I am awake."

"So, then, tell me how long you have known you were gay, Heero," Relena said, beaming a smile.


"I haven't mentioned Duo yet," Relena said, "come on, spill." She sounded like Duo there, Heero thought. There were bits of slang she never would have used before. But, then, Heero was learning some particular new slang himself. It was just strange hearing it from one who used to actually use "watakushi" when referring to herself in Japanese.

Heero had too smile. "I don't think I can accurately claim any sexual preference as I have only become seriously attracted to one person thus far."

"Ja, ja, so if you get over him and fall for a woman I'll call you bi. Answer the question."

"I didn't know, Relena." Heero looked into the lens, he knew that would make it appear to Relena that he looked right at her, even though the lens was slightly above the image of her Heero had been watching. "I honestly did not know I was going to 'fall for' anybody at all until after I moved back here. Now you tell me, what did he tell you."

She sighed. "There weren't any play-by-plays. He told me that you had talked to him at length at my party, but I knew that. He didn't say what you discussed. He said you gave him a present and explained that the day of my birthday was the day you met, so I shouldn't feel hurt. I told him that I couldn't very well forget that day." She smiled. Then she frowned, remembering. "Then..."

"Relena. Stop. I realize I haven't really spoken to you since I came home. Relena... we've talked in the past, but things were different. Are you... angry that I nearly killed you... that I held guns to your head?" It hurt to say it. There was a pain in his chest when he asked the question. Now he couldn't think of doing it. He didn't think he had ever wanted to kill her or hurt her. He had just not known what else to do, faced with someone who knew his secrets. He had been trained to kill those who knew too much about his work. Of course, his work had been illegal and covert. He had been the bad guy, even though he believed along with others that those in power were wrong.

"Heero... I think of it this way: it was never personal. It was simply the actions of a very young secret agent faced with exposure, instinctual and defensive. I am not happy about it and I did not think you interesting for the guns and threats, but, at the same time, I can see it for what it is. It wasn't the same thing as being an ordinary high school student and bringing a gun to school and drawing it with threats to keep your girl in line. It's still dishonorable, drawing a gun on an unarmed person who isn't as strong as you, but it's not the same as just being an abusive thug. It was desperate, but sometimes soldiers are faced with desperate choices. You never actually carried through with the threats. I mean, you never actually did shoot me. You didn't even hit me. That's not an excuse, but I think circumstances do make a difference."


"It's just, I have thought about this before. I have and... Heero, there are so many levels to everything. Whether we have the right to judge each other, whether it's stronger to take punishment again, to refuse to be near those who have hurt us, or to forgive only a limited number of times. There are some people who are just... dirt. You give them a second chance and they treat you lower than dirt. But most people are better than that, though we're not perfect. We tend to use each other now and then. So long as the use is not always one-sided and thus abuse, it's all pretty fair, don't you think?"

"Life is complicated. Society is more than complicated. I suppose equal treatment of each other is fair, but then you might have couples who are happy to both beat on each other."

"If a couple is truly happy to both beat on each other I leave them to it, but someone strikes me and they loose Relena privileges permanently."

Heero smiled. "I will try to remember... to not raise a hand against you... though, I hear you have many excellent body guards now."

"And I can take care of myself if I have to, now."


"Self defense training. And, let's remember, I'm the one who actually fired a gun at a Lady and struck a child. I'm no saint. I'm just trying to survive and understand life and everything."

"The universe. I drew a gun on that child, but it wasn't loaded... anymore"

"War makes people make some desperate choices. Not that it excuses everything. We must all make amends if we can. We must all forgive. We can only ask so much retribution before we restart the cycle of vengeance that brought us to war."

"I see why you are Vice-Minister."

"I'd have your vote if I ran for office?"

"Depends on your platform."

Relena shook her head. "So, do forgive me for all the wretchedly schoolgirl things I used to do and endangering your missions?"


"Good. Duo said that there was forgiveness involved between you too. I know you went to stay at his place. He said you kissed him."

"I think it was more mutual than just me kissing him."

"Well, I got that idea."

"What else did he say?"

"You had a horrible fight and he never wanted to see you again or your dog." Relena smiled, "But last night he called to say that was all a misunderstanding."

"A horrible misunderstanding. One I do not mean to repeat."

"Mmmn. You really had no idea you felt that way toward him before you saw him Friday?"

"No, but Midii said she could tell, so it could be that I was unable to recognize how I felt."

"I always thought you were close with him. I just didn't get to know Duo very well until you were gone."

"I heard. He said you kissed him."

"It was very much Duo kissing me the first time," Relena smiled, "But it's really nothing, Heero. I mean, we kissed, but that's it." Relena lowered her voice, "I think he does like you an awful lot."

"He's there."

"Yes, in the house, but in another room. Don't worry."

"Do you think... I mean you don't have to tell me if it would betray a confidence or you don't know... but do you think Duo could be in a... could he be with just one person, Relena?"

She grinned. That reminded Heero of Duo's facial expressions. "Could you?"

"I want the chance to try. I am fairly confident that I can. I feel that I might want that, with the right person."

"I think he's dying to commit." Relena laughed softly, "But he won't admit that to you any time soon."

"If he has not admitted it, what is your opinion based on?"

"I know his lame reason for having multiple lovers."

"Fear of loss of whatever he holds most dear."

"You understand."

"That much."

"He talks about you constantly. He was so sad after that misunderstanding. I don't know what happened, but he felt awful."

"I felt awful. I wanted to die."

"It was really that bad?"

Heero decided he should tell Relena.

on to chapter 12

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