disclaimer: the boys aren't mine. i just manipulate them for my own personal enjoyment.

rating: *this fic is not yet rated* - Officially NC-17
feedback: it's necessary to live...so, yes!
warnings for entire fic: shounen-ai/yaoi, angst, duo/heero torture, language, sap, small lemon-ish spots(?), AU (AC 200)
spoilers: none
pairings: odd....can't explain but it involves heero and duo and 3X4 implied.

notes: another one that came to me in dreamscape. yes, i know, i have weird dreams. you should see what happens after i eat pepperoni pizza ^_~

//heero's thoughts//
:: duo's thoughts ::

momentary lapse of reason
part 37

Duo's last night in California was a Friday night and Heero had arranged to leave the office early so they could enjoy a nice dinner out. Unlocking the door to his apartment at 3:30, Heero found the small kitchen table already set for two; the smell of something wonderful filling the room. Smiling as the aroma continued to assault him, Heero called out. "Duo?"

Checking around the apartment, yet finding Duo was nowhere in sight, Heero loosened his tie made his way into his bedroom. He quickly removed his suit, replacing it with his infinitely more comfortable running shorts and t-shirt. Shivering slightly, he turned the air conditioner off and opened several windows, much preferring the warm air to the artificial chill.

Returning to the kitchen, Heero peeked into the oven and several of the pots that were on the stovetop. He smiled as he did so; Duo was preparing his favorite meal. Hearing the lock on the front door to click open, Heero peered over at it to find Duo making his way inside, both of his arms filled with packages. "You're back."

Duo smiled, Heero's voice taking him by surprise. "You're home early."

Hurrying over to the open doorway, Heero took several of the packages from Duo and brought them into the kitchen with Duo not far behind.

"I guess my surprise is spoiled." Duo commented, setting the bags down onto the table.

"So is mine. I came home early so we could go out to dinner." Heero smiled.

"We can go out if you want to." Duo replied looking over at Heero.

"After you went through all this trouble?" Heero shook his head and made his way over to Duo. "And besides, it smells absolutely wonderful."

"I remembered it was your favorite and I thought it would be nice to spend my last night here.... well.. here." he replied tentatively. "Got some wine too." he added, reaching into one of the bags.

"Sounds perfect, Duo. How long until dinner is ready?"

Duo looked over at the clock on the kitchen wall. "Another hour and a half. I wasn't expecting you home till then."

Taking the bottle from Duo's hand, Heero reached into the drawer and removed the corkscrew. "How about a glass of wine then?

Duo nodded and reached into the cabinet, retrieving two glasses.

Heero filled each of the stemmed glasses halfway with the deep red wine. "Do you want to go out somewhere later? After dinner?" Heero asked, handing one of them to Duo.

Duo shook his head as he took a sip and swallowed. "I thought we could just relax and maybe watch some television tonight. I'm kinda beat from all the sightseeing and stuff we did this week. It's been great, Heero." Duo smiled.

"I've enjoyed it as well." Heero returned as he wandered into the living room. Sitting on the edge of the sofa, Heero looked over at Duo. "Nice choice of wines by the way." he smiled holding the glass up toward his friend.

"Thanks." Duo replied, joining Heero on the couch.

Heero looked over to where Duo sat, quietly staring into his wine glass.

"Duo?" Heero asked hesitantly.


"Is something wrong?"

Duo shook his head.

"You know that I can tell when you're lying."

Duo looked up at Heero and forced a smile. "I'm fine."

Setting his glass down on the table, Heero reached forward to take Duo's hand, "If it makes you feel any better. I don't want you to leave either," he told him softly.

Duo's eyes searched Heero's and for a moment he wondered when he'd become so transparent. "Shows that much, huh?" he smiled, this time more genuine, though tinged with sadness.

"Uh-huh." Heero winked, this time Duo returning him a full-fledged grin.

"More wine?" Duo asked noting the two empty glasses on the coffee table.

Heero nodded as his eyes followed Duo's retreat into the kitchen. It was a typically warm day, yet Duo was once again dressed in pants and a long sleeved shirt. Heero figured that this was as good a time as any to confront Duo about what he had seen shortly after his arrival.

"Aren't you warm?" Heero asked. "I turned off the air conditioner when I got home. I hope you don't mind."

Duo had indeed noticed the apartment was warm. "No. I'm fine." Duo smiled, returning to the living room with glasses in hand. Handing one to Heero, he sat, his fingers moving nervously around the stem of his wine glass.

"The scars don't bother me, Duo." Heero spoke, not looking toward him.

Duo gasped and his head turned sharply to look at his friend.

Hearing the sound Heero turned his head to look over at Duo, immediately answering the question he read in his eyes. "I saw them after you first arrived... while you were sleeping."

Duo lowered his head.

"You can't hide them forever, you know." Heero told him softly, his hand gently stroking Duo's back.

Duo stood. "Why not?" he replied in anger, not looking at Heero.


"Please, Heero.... I'm embarrassed enough as it is." he replied, returning to the kitchen.

Heero frowned and waited several minutes before following Duo into the small room.

Duo was moving around the kitchen, busying himself with last minute preparations for dinner.

"Duo? What are you embarrassed about?" Heero asked, taking him by the wrist.

Duo looked up at Heero, "You wouldn't be asking me that if you'd gotten a good look at them." Duo replied, rolling up his sleeve and extending his arm toward Heero.

Heero looked down at the scars on Duo's lower arm, his face revealing his shock.

Duo pushed the fabric of his shirt back down over his arm in disgust, "See?"

Heero was speechless for a moment and quickly attempted to think of the right thing to say or do. He needed to let Duo know that he didn't find his actions or scars repulsive. The longer his silence, the greater chance there was of Duo interpreting his reaction as negative.

Heero made his way over to stand behind Duo and wrapped his arms around him, holding him tighter as he felt his body begin to tremble. "It's okay, Duo... really..... it is." He held him that way until he felt Duo's body relax sufficiently in his embrace. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

"No. I'm okay, Heero." Duo replied, his back still toward his friend as Heero's arms tightened around his waist. "I'm a bit relieved in fact."

"Good. Want to go get changed now?" he asked softly. Placing one hand on each of the young man's shoulders, Heero turned Duo to face him.

Duo nodded. "Thank you, Heero... for understanding. I was worried about how you might react."

"Did you think that it would make me care any less about you?" Heero asked. His tone reflected the hurt he felt by Duo's insinuation.

"I don't know. Does it, Heero?"

Heero shook his head from side to side as he looked at Duo, "No. Of course it doesn't, Duo. Nothing could."

"I'm glad to hear that, Heero. Next problem." Duo smiled. "I didn't bring any shorts."

"I have some that may fit you... top drawer." Heero smiled toward him.

"Not spandex I hope." Duo commented dryly making his way into Heero's bedroom, leaving Heero smiling in the center of the room.

Returning several minutes later in shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt, Duo sat on the couch.

"Heero?" he called into the kitchen.


"I think we're gonna need some more wine." Duo replied, emptying the contents of the bottle into their two glasses.


Dinner had been thoroughly enjoyable and Heero was once again impressed by Duo's hidden talent. Duo seemed to be more relaxed tonight and Heero attributed it to the earlier revelation of the scars and his acceptance of them. He could certainly understand Duo's reluctance in bringing his actions out into the open; he found himself cringing inwardly several times as he glanced down at them during dinner.

Heero watched as Duo sat quietly on the other end of the couch. It was obvious that he was fighting to stay awake as his eyes closed briefly every few minutes. "Duo? Why don't you go lie down?" Heero asked. "I'll wake you up in an hour or two."

Duo yawned and curled up on the couch to face the television with his head resting on Heero's lap. "This okay?" he asked, smiling as he turned to look up at Heero.

"Course." Heero smiled, his hand coming to rest on Duo's upper arm.

Heero focused his attention back on the movie they were watching and tried to ignore how distracting having Duo's head in his lap was. Fortunately, the braided young man had some mercy on him; resting his head closer to his knees rather than further up his thighs.


Barely five minutes had passed when the soft even sounds of Duo's breath let Heero know that he had already succumbed to sleep. Heero took the opportunity to admire the alluring body laid out before him. Duo's legs were slightly parted with one bent up a bit at the knee as it rested on the back of the couch.. His arm right lay lightly draped across his chest, while the left curled upward, ending in a loose fist nuzzled securely under his chin. The corners of his mouth turned upward at the vision and he let his eyes wash once again over the length of Duo's body, eyebrows furrowing as he focused on the deep red scars that covered Duo's lower arm.

They were disturbing, he couldn't deny it, nor could Duo. Heero brought his fingertip down to touch what was clearly the oldest of the markings. // Oh Duo // Mindful not to disturb his slumber, Heero swallowed the huge lump that had formed in his throat and he gently began to run his finger over them; tracing each of the five letters of his name that Duo had carefully carved into his skin.

Reclining his head back against the sofa, Heero closed his eyes tightly and let his tears fall.


It was almost an hour before Duo began to stir.

Heero had shifted his position on the couch not too long after Duo had fallen asleep as gravity too had become his enemy. The angle of his legs had caused the sleeping figure's head to slowly slide up his thighs, coming to rest dangerously close to where the proof of his desire for Duo had unwillingly made itself known.

Duo turned his head toward Heero and opened his eyes to look up at him. "Mmmmm......" he stretched "Nice cat nap." He smiled.

"Feel better?" Heero asked.

Duo nodded. He could feel the muscles of Heero's thighs tensing beneath him as he stretched his legs. "Sorry, Heero." he offered, sitting up.

"I'm fine." Heero commented as he stood. "Want something to drink?"


Heero nodded and made his way into the kitchen. "Sure you don't want me to make some coffee?"

Duo looked across the room at the clock and noting it was only 9:30, called back. "Okay, coffee sounds great."

Heero returned several minutes later. "Should be ready shortly." he informed him, seating himself back down on the end of the couch.

Duo yawned again. "Not decaf I hope." he responded, smiling at Heero.

"Nope. Don't want you falling asleep again on your last night here."

"Awwww...." Duo replied, lying his head back down on Heero's lap, "But you make such a comfy pillow."

Heero looked down at Duo, noting he was not smiling despite the levity his words. There was an unfamiliar look in his eyes as they met Heero's and he studied it for a moment before questioning Duo. "Now?" he asked softly. He hoped he had not misread the long awaited signal.

Duo smiled and nodded.

Slowly bending forward, Heero brought the palm of his hand to caress the side of Duo's face leaving his lips hovering just above those beneath him. "Duo..." he whispered, closing the gap between their mouths.

Duo let out a low moan as Heero's mouth covered his own and he parted his lips as Heero's tongue pressed against them softly seeking entry. Slipping his tongue past Duo's lips sent a shiver throughout Heero's body and he lifted Duo's upper torso up off the couch and drew him fully into his arms.

Answering the passion in Heero's kiss, Duo wrapped his arms around Heero's neck and pulled him closer still, moaning once again as his tongue set out to explore the wet warmth of Heero's mouth. Duo had to know that he was driving Heero crazy as he continued his assault on the cobalt-eyed young man's mouth. He forcibly pushed Duo back and gasped for air. "That was a helluva first kiss." Heero whispered breathlessly.

"More." Duo panted as he moved forward, pressing his mouth firmly against Heero's.

Heero moaned in response as Duo thrust his tongue back inside his mouth. More indeed, he thought, as he sought to ravage Duo's mouth in return. They had years to make up for and Heero didn't plan on stopping until one or both of them passed out from sheer lack of oxygen.

Heero's hands moved with ease up over Duo's shoulders and worked their way slowly down his back before sliding them up under his shirt. The feel of Duo's smooth bare skin beneath his fingers coaxed him into a more urgent touch and his hands began to roam over every inch of his upper body.

Duo let out a low moan as he pulled back from the kiss and taking Heero's hand in his, guided them both into the waistband of his shorts. "Please...." he whispered as he gently wrapped the two around his erection and began stroking its length.

Heero nodded and drew Duo closer to him, letting Duo work their hands over his stiffness. He could feel his own arousal growing painfully hard as Duo began moaning and thrusting his hips upward.

"Kiss me." he whispered, opening his mouth as Heero bent forward to oblige him. Roughly pushing his tongue into its waiting counterpart, Duo increased the pace of their two hands, their tongues quickening as well. Heero pulled back from the kiss as he felt Duo's arousal begin to twitch in his hand. "Look at me, Duo." he whispered.

Duo's dark amethyst eyes revealed his longing and lust as his eyelids slowly rose stare up at Heero. His mouth fell open as his back arched up off the couch and his body yielded to the torment. "Nnnn.... Heero..." he groaned, removing his hand, leaving Heero to drive him over the edge. Duo cried out as he released the first of his seed into Heero's hand, his hips thrusting into the tight fist that surrounded him.

Heero watched in awe as Duo's body shuddered as he came and he continued pleasuring him, not releasing his grip on Duo's member until it had fully softened in his hand.

Duo smiled up at Heero. "Mmm....that was nice."

"You looked incredible, Duo." Heero moaned, kissing Duo again as his arms pulled him closer.

Duo broke the kiss and smiled up at Heero before crawling off the couch to kneel on the floor in front of Heero. Watching his reactions, Duo brought his hand up to lightly tease the tip of Heero's arousal through the fabric of his shorts, smiling as Heero moaned and rested his head back against the sofa. Duo reached for the elastic band of the cotton shorts and Heero looked down at him in surprise. "Let me, Heero." He whispered, pulling the fabric down over his erection. "Take them off please?" he asked softly. "I want to see all of you."

Heero lifted his hips up off the couch as he watched Duo slide his shorts down and off, tossing them aside. Moaning as he looked up at the thick arousal, Duo pushed Heero's thighs further apart. "I cannot wait to taste you......" he whispered as he moved to kneel between his open legs.

He watched as Duo moved forward to lick the glistening tip of his cock before taking him fully into his mouth. He let out a gasp as he was suddenly enveloped in its warmth. "Duo..."

His eyes never left Duo's as his he sucked his length. The feeling was incredible, as was the view he had of Duo's head situated between his legs and he wanted more. Heero moaned and began gentle thrusts upward, urging Duo to increase his movement. Sliding his hands beneath him, Duo took hold of his Heero's bottom. "Mmm..... that's it... moan for me, Heero." Duo whispered, pushing upward to drive Heero's stiffness further into his mouth. "Nnnn... Duo.." Duo's tongue swirled over the swollen head, sucking it firmly before taking his full length back into his mouth.

"Oh, God.. Duo.... that's not all I'm gonna do." Heero groaned. That was all the warning he had before Heero buried his hands in his hair and thrust his hips upward to fill his all too eager mouth. "Ugh....Yes... DUO!" Duo could feel his own arousal spring back to life as he watched Heero reach orgasm. The sight was far more erotic than he could have imagined and he continued caressing Heero's dwindling erection with his mouth until the last of the tremors had passed through him.

Rising to his knees, Duo climbed up onto the couch to straddle Heero's hips. Brushing the dampened his hair from his lover's eyes, Duo bent forward to kiss him lightly. "This is what you taste like." he whispered, plunging his tongue into Heero's mouth. Heero moaned and strained his neck upward to deepen the kiss.

Both of Heero's hand trailed down the length of Duo's spine as they kissed; his fingers spreading wide against the muscles of his upper back to pull Duo closer. "I want to taste you as well." he whispered as his hands trailed downward to settle firmly on Duo's hips.

Turning to the side, Heero moved forward and let Duo's upper body come to rest on the couch beside him, easily sliding his cotton shorts just below his knees. "You're as perfect as I'd imagined." he spoke softly as he shifted backward and bent down, licking the slickness from the tip of Duo's cock.

Heero's tongue teased the wet slit, sucking lightly at it before he dove downward, taking every last inch of Duo's hardened shaft into his mouth. "Jeezus, Heero..." he cried out, "Nnnn.... what are you doing to me?" Heero smiled as he continued sucking up and down his length, easily accepting Duo's increased thrusts. Soon lost in the passionate moans and writhing hips of his lover, Heero raced to bring Duo to completion. Using both hands to separate his long legs, Heero reached between them and began rubbing his open palm over the hardened sac, the added stimulation sending his lover over the edge. Duo screamed out Heero's name and thrust his hips upward once more to bury himself deep within Heero's mouth. "Oh.... yes.... God..... Heero!!!" he moaned, holding Heero's head motionless as he climaxed. Heero groaned and his lips tightened around the base of Duo's cock, savoring each hot stream as he tasted him for the first time.

Heero brought himself to a seated position and looked down at the still shuddering body of his new lover, gently rubbing his inner thigh. "I'd have to say that orgasm agrees with you." he announced, smiling as Duo opened his eyes. Violet eyes dark with lust peered out from under the sweat soaked hair that now covered his face and his chest still rose and fell with uneven breaths. A sultry smile formed on his pouty lips as he gazed up at Heero causing a shiver to run down his spine and he let out a small moan; Duo looked absolutely breathtaking.


Sliding Duo's shorts back up, Heero stood to cover his sleepy form. He thought it odd that throughout the entire week Duo had been there, he barely wore shoes. Looking down at his barefooted lover, Heero couldn't help but notice what incredibly sexy feet Duo had. Shaking off the thought, Heero lay the light blanket over him and headed off to his bedroom.


Waking sometime later, Duo rolled over, nearly falling off the couch. Allowing himself several seconds to get his bearings, he rose and headed into Heero's bedroom, quietly lying down beside him. Feeling the movement on the other side of the bed, Heero sat on the edge of the bed before rising to his feet to exit the room.



"Please stay...."

on to part 38

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