disclaimer: the boys aren't mine. i just manipulate them for my own personal enjoyment.

rating: *this fic is not yet rated*
feedback: it's necessary to live...so, yes!
warnings for entire fic: shounen-ai/yaoi, angst, duo/heero torture, language, small lemon-ish spots(?), AU (AC 200)
spoilers: none
pairings: odd....can't explain but it involves heero and duo and 3X4 implied.

notes: another one that came to me in dreamscape. yes, i know, i have weird dreams. you should see what happens after i eat pepperoni pizza ^_~

//heero's thoughts//
:: duo's thoughts ::

momentary lapse of reason
part 16

The previous evenings event had been summarily dismissed at Duo's admission to requesting Heero's company. On the surface, it made perfect sense to the blonde, but watching Heero dote over their braided friend left him uneasy about the closeness the two had achieved.

"Duo is reacting to Heero as his caregiver. It's a natural progression, Quatre." Trowa attempted to reassure his lover, the confusion on the blonde's face prompting him to continue. Sitting beside him on the bed, Trowa put his arm around Quatre. "Look.... Heero was the first person that Duo met. Heero was there for him... to help him start to pick up the pieces. It's almost as if Heero is his lifeline..... the main connection to his past."

"But we are here for him too." Quatre replied "He never comes to us. Heero isn't the only one who capable of bringing his memory back you know." Quatre was quite adamant. His tone filled further with anger as he spoke.

"Are you jealous, Quatre?" Trowa asked, studying his lovers face. "We did after all leave this in Heero's hands. I think he's doing a fine job."

Quatre relaxed his posture and shook his head. "I think that Duo is falling for Heero.... just like before."


Duo rose early, the sun barely making its way over the horizon. He lie awake as the light gradually began filtering into the room, his thoughts turning sullen as recalled last nights confrontation between Quatre and Heero.

He looked across the room, his eyes settling on the sleeping form still curled up underneath the blankets.

:: heero ::

The drastic changes he saw in Heero's mannerisms last night confused him. He noticed a coldness in his eyes that he was certain hadn't been there before. Ever since dinner last night, Heero had ignored him..... pawning him off on the others. Duo rationalized it as best he could, acknowledging that Heero most likely needed a break from his care giving.

"You're awake." Heero spoke softly, smiling as he meet with Duo's violet eyes. "Did you sleep well?"

Duo looked over at him, "Yeah...just fine." The warmth was back in those brilliant blue eyes as Heero smiled at him from across the room, confusing the young man even further. "Heero? I really need to talk with you about a few things."


Heero sat quietly on the edge of Duo's bed while his friend shared his fears; inwardly smiling at how easily the young man was able to let out his emotions. Heero quickly reassured Duo that he had not grown weary of his current assignment, instead, further accenting his commitment to Duo. "I'm here with you because I want to be. Not because anybody told me I had to, Duo." Heero reminded him, his hand gently caressing the side of Duo's face. "I'm sorry if I made you feel any differently."

Duo closed his eyes as Heero's thumb moved over his cheekbone, rejoicing in the words of comfort Heero offered. Wrapping his hand around Heero's, Duo slowly moved the two until they rested on his lips and gently placed a soft kiss in the center of Heero's palm.

Heero quickly withdrew his hand and stood leaving Duo stunned by his reaction. "I guess you weren't ready for that." he finally managed, offering Heero a weak smile. "Sit, please. I'm not done talking yet."

Heero sat on the edge of the bed, further away from him this time, his heartbeat still rapid from Duo's action of moments ago.

"You're special to me, Heero. More than as just a friend." Duo started, "It's one of the few things I am sure of." he finished, his eyes closing.

Heero looked at Duo, again noting that Duo rarely hid his feelings. It had always been a trait he had admired in Duo, he was happy that part of him still remained. At least he thought he was...... until Duo revealed his next line of thought, the violet-eyed boy having no intention of letting Heero off the hook that easily.

As much as he wanted this, wanted Duo, Heero wasn't ready..... he wasn't even in control.

"Do you find me attractive, Heero? ..... ya know in a guy kind of way.... relative to other guys?" Duo asked, his eyes opening to meet with Heero's.

Heero looked over at Duo, his eyebrows raised in expectation of a response. "Yes. I think you're very attractive..... in every kind of way, Duo."

That was exactly the response he was looking for. Duo smiled. "Then why did you back away from me just now.... from my advance?" Duo paused slightly before continuing. "What's the problem, Heero?"

"There was nothing between us before." Heero reminded him.

"You've already told me that." Duo replied curtly. "I'm not talking about *before*. I'm talking about now, Heero. Is there some reason why there can't be something between us *now*?" he asked.

Heero froze.

He was fully aware of how Duo was looking at him..... expectant and impatient.

Heero closed his eyes.

//is there some reason why there can't be something between us now?//

As many reasons as they are days in the year flashed through Heero's confused mind, none of them capable of bringing the words to his lips. He opened his eyes to find the man he loved staring hopefully at him and Heero knowingly stepped over the line.


Heero's both arms reached out to pull Duo toward him, the guilt over his deception vanishing instantly as his lips met with Duo's. His body began to tremble as his tongue asked entrance and Duo's lips parted for him. Duo was his.

There was no turning back.

on to part 17

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