disclaimer: the boys aren't mine. i just manipulate them for my own personal enjoyment.

rating: *this fic is not yet rated*
feedback: it's necessary to live...so, yes!
warnings for entire fic: shounen-ai/yaoi, angst, duo/heero torture, language, small lemon-ish spots(?), AU (AC 200)
spoilers: none
pairings: odd....can't explain but it involves heero and duo and 3X4 implied.

notes: another one that came to me in dreamscape. yes, i know, i have weird dreams. you should see what happens after i eat pepperoni pizza ^_~

//heero's thoughts//
:: duo's thoughts ::

momentary lapse of reason
part 11

Tuesday morning found Duo showing signs of wear from the previous days flurry of activity. A good portion of the day had been spent trying to absorb the tremendous amount of information that was being presented to him. He found himself at ease with each of the four young men he had met yesterday, easily dismissing the trepidation he was hindered by early on in their meeting.

As was suggested during Duo's meeting with the staff psychologist, Heero would be returning this morning, bringing with him tangible evidence of Duo's past. He thought about the time he spent with his friends last evening and was pleased as he could see the pieces of his life beginning to fit together. He was anticipating Heero's return and the additional insight his visit would offer.


Several days had passed, Duo taking the four young men into his confidence with ease. Discussions of how the five had met came and went, tales of their war experiences allowing Duo to further comprehend the tight bond he sensed existed between the five.

Heero arrived on Friday morning to find Duo sitting in the chair beside his bed. "Morning, Duo."

Duo looked up as Heero entered the room "Good Morning, Heero. You're just in time." He smiled, offering the brush toward the cobalt-eyed young man. "Mind?"

Heero walked toward him, noting that Duo's hair was unbound and wet. "Shower?" he asked, taking the brush in hand.

"Yup. Bout time too." Duo smiled. "They took the stitches out last night."

Heero looked down at the small bald patch on the back of Duo's head, recalling Dr. Skinert's promise. "I'll be careful."

Duo had sensed a particular closeness between Quatre and Trowa. It wasn't just the physical contact they made in all of the pictures that he had been shown, though that was certainly part of it. There were glances and small knowing smiles he witnessed the two exchanging as the five engaged in conversation during the last few days.

Relaxing back into the chair as Heero began brushing his hair, Duo spoke. "So? What's the deal with Quatre and Trowa?"

Heero paused his strokes. The four had decided on not bringing the relationship out into the open just yet and Heero; having noted no obvious displays of affection amongst the two, was quite surprised by Duo's observation. "They are very close." Heero replied, assured his answer would in no way satisfy Duo's naturally curious mind.

Continuing his task, Heero smiled as Duo's shoulders dropped in mild frustration. "Yes, I can see that. Are they lovers?"

"That they are." Heero returned.

"Cool." Duo replied. "Since the war?"


Duo had noticed something else he flipped through the various photo albums several nights ago. There was rarely a picture where he was not standing beside the young man who now stood behind him. One photograph in particular came to mind and the image of the five boys in tight black flight suits returned, causing him to smile. He stood beside Heero in that one as well, his gloved hand resting on his friends shoulder.

He recalled his reaction when he first saw it, taken back by the way his eyes as if by their own volition washed over Heero's thin, yet muscular form. He couldn't help but wonder if he had been attracted to him back then and smiled as he thought about how kind the years had been to Heero, transforming him into the stunningly beautiful man he was today.



"Did I have a lover? A girfriend?" he asked, hopefully "A boyfriend?"

Heero looked over at Duo to find a mild smirk on his face. "Neither."

Duo chuckled. "A hermit no doubt."

Heero smiled at the characterization that did anything but describe the violet-eyed young man. "Hardly. There was Hilde though…… during the war."

"The girl with the short black hair?"


"Hmmmm….What happened to her? After the war I mean." Duo asked.

"She stayed on L-2. She runs a scrap business there. You worked with her for a time." Heero offered.

"I'm just guessing here, but if I liked her, I most likely would have stayed with her on L-2." Tilting his head up and back, Duo looked up at Heero. "Wouldn't you agree, Heero?" Duo asked.

Heero looked down at Duo. He knew exactly where Duo intended this line of questioning to lead. "Yes….I suppose so." Heero replied, "Put your head back down…. I'm almost done."

Duo lowered his head, unable to place the expression on Heero's face. Heero listened carefully as Duo spoke. He had been avoiding the issue and the young man seated before him would have nothing of it.

"Was there anyone special I was interested in?"

Heero remained silent.

This was Duo.

Duo chuckled. "Are you always this tough to get answers from?"

Yes. This was definitely Duo.

"Depends on the question." Heero replied. "Want me to braid your hair?"

"If you don't mind."

Heero loosely grasped Duo's hair, separating the thick wet chestnut into three equal sections. "You have a tie?"

Duo held up a small red band and Heero nodded, gently entwining the smaller masses of hair neatly into their familiar braid.

Relaxing back as Heero's hands moved through his hair, Duo closed his eyes and pictured Heero's face, again attempting to read the expression he had seen there earlier. "I've more questions." Duo spoke, tilting his head back once again. "And you don't need be so nervous about answering them, Heero..." he continued, smiling at the now stoic young man behind him. "I won't bite."

"Head down, Duo." Heero responded. "And I'm not nervous."

Duo focused his gaze straight ahead and Heero completed his task. "Tie."

Duo offered the red elastic band to the outstretched hand beside his head and Heero tied the end of the braid off. "There. All done."

Heero sat on the edge of Duo's bed, looking toward him.

"Thank you." Duo smiled, reaching back to run his hand down the length of his twisted hair. "You did a good job, Heero."

"I've done it once or twice before…. during the war… when you were injured." Heero replied.

Duo smiled as Heero spoke. There was considerable hesitation in his admission and Duo got the sense that he was somehow apologizing, feeling it necessary to explain his actions. "So. Was there ever anything between us… like there is with Quatre and Trowa?"

The surprise was clear on Heero's face even through the blush that now covered it.

Duo laughed lowly. "First you were nervous, now you're surprised and embarrassed. I seem to be pulling all sorts of emotions from you today, Heero."

Heero nodded and stood, "Yes. You are." He smiled. "And in answer to your question…. No. There was nothing between us."

A look of disappointment shot quickly across Duo's face. Lowering his head, he closed his eyes and softly apologized. "Sorry. I must have misread things. It just seemed that…never mind."

on to part 12

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