In This Diary
by Jade Black
Monday 28th July
Song of the day: Queen- Bohemian Rhapsody (as a follow up to Pink Floyd)
Interesting notes: None. Nowt. Zilch. Zero. Nought. Nil.
// Nothing really matters… //
I’ve been outbid on Ebay- and I’m not so sure I want to go any higher than
the current price. Perhaps it is time to find a new auction- new horizons
and heights of purchasing therapy.
Mum’s still going on at me to get out. She decided to bare down on me at
both breakfast, lunch and dinner. I’m beginning to get bored of her ranting-
she sounds like our history tutor. Monotone voice, monotone personality. She
hasn’t actually come up with nay interesting suggestions, though. I can see
it now- I’m going to be stuck in here for the rest of eternity with my
mothers voice yelling at me from downstairs. I wish I could just hibernate
during the summer- then no one would be able to disturb me from my deep
bear-like slumber. I could have my own little corner in the basement, where
it’s still cool, with a bed made out of hay- no one would expect me to do
anything if I was sleeping.
Of course, if I try to just go to sleep now, it’s way too hot and light to
manage it. I’ve been laying awake for the last few nights doing absolutely
nothing. My mind keeps wandering to things- not allowing me to drift into a
comfortable almost-unconscious state. I found myself watching TV again, and
lying on my bed listening to Queen’s greatest hits with my laptop hooked up
to a modem in front of me. I did some work- and researched some stuff… but
it’s not great at keeping boredom at bay. I wish I had a hobby- like fishing
of sowing or something… though neither of those were a particularly good
idea. I just need something *like* that. Hell, I’d take up macramé and fill
my room with decorative knots if it would help- but where the hell am I
going to learn that from?
Monday 28th July 2003
Today rocked! We started off down the beach- but ended up wandering. We
bought ice cream from the hot little vendor- and I had a chat with him as I
bought it. He looked even better up-close.
So, I’m standing there, leaning casually against the opening in the snack
bar kiosk- ordering a lot of cool snacks… (“I’ll have two chocolates, a
mint-choc, one strawberry, one vanilla, one rocky road and a raspberry
ripple…”) Trying to make sure that I had one for everyone- since almost the
whole gang was there today. He still has his shirt off, and he’s trying to
remember my entire order, this cute kind-of confused/strained look on his
face. I’m eyeing him up quite happily as he stands there relaying the order.
Blonde hair, innocent blue eyes… quite short, but very well formed from what
I could see of him. Then he started to scoop out the orders- and I make
From the short conversation, I’ve found out that his name’s Quatre, and that
he’d love to go on a date with me Wednesday night. So, there’s one in the
bank for the summer. Hopefully that’ll include a second date.
After that, we wandered down the promenade in a rather large group of
menacing teenagers. Sometimes I wonder what people think of us when we’re
taking up the entire street as we walk away as a group. You can just imagine
it in a film- old ladies and little Asian dudes scatter like we’re Godzilla,
and women scream from their office buildings as we pass. It’s quite cool,
really… and, although I wouldn’t go as far as to compare us to Godzilla, we
aren’t exactly harmless.
I’ve got a whole line up of things in my head that I have to do this summer.
My top 5:
1. Break into the hotel swimming pool and contaminate the water… or have a
2. Have fireworks somewhere.
3. Have bloody amazing birthday party for myself down the beach, with
4. Get laid.
5. Pull elevator pranks found in Internet forum a couple of months ago.
They might change in order of importance… in fact; I think they will
_certainly_ change. I’m hoping the number four coincides with
date-with-Quatre. And I think that numbers two and three may combine. Number
one will probably be dealt with soon. I also plan to trash a car or
something… but technically that’s illegal and not really all that important.
Anyway, today was good. We walked into town and walked menacingly through
the shops. I spotted another guy with a nice ass- but didn’t make any
comments about it. It does seem kinda weird… I have to be careful around
other guys that I fancy- I’m still a little hesitant about it. I know it
doesn’t exactly seem like me- but Solo is the only one in the groups who
knows that I’m gay- though he moans at me enough to tell all the others. I’m
just not sure that they’d accept me for what I am- they’re too used to me
being the one who’ll wolf-whistle at the ladies, even though I’m actually
whistling at the guy hanging off her arm. It’s kind of unfair- but I’m used
to it enough to ignore it all.
It was really hot in town- so we moved on down to the park, and had a game
of cricket with a couple of the guys from school who had been sitting down
there drinking in the shade. I got back and, for some strange and unknown
reason, wrote a little poem about it:
Sunshine falls upon my face
And bumble bees give chase
To flowers swaying in the breeze
Small boy falls and scrapes his knees
Now I know nothing at all
By the sunshine I'm swallowed
And the grass quickly follows
As the stream near the weir flows
Make the most before the sunshine goes.
I call it ‘Summer’. It feels kind of weird to be writing again. I’m an
art-student, really, but I used to write the odd poem every now and then, if
just to pass the time. even if they are light and fluffy, though, like this
one at the beginning, they always seem to turn around and become angsty
before the end. Well, I can blame my Dad for that, I guess. I’ve never
really gotten on with him, but now he’s always working and never around… so
I never see any good bits of him. When he does come home he’s always irate
about something- even though I know there are sometimes happy sides of him.
It’s kinda sad- but I know there’s nothing I can do about it, so I’m not
complaining. Anyway, Mum’s calling me from downstairs saying the pizza’s
arrived, so I’m gonna go eat.