Disclaimers: don't own, don't sue, don't ask, don't tell

Pairing: 2x1
Rating: NC-17
Warnings/Notes: AU, lemon

Note: I wanted to thank Rosiel for her lovely Diamond Dogs picture, and for letting me use it for a JadeShop design. So I offered to write her a 2x1 fic. Sharon was wonderful enough to give me this plot bunny. Thanks to them both!

Dedication: To Rosiel, for her lovely pics...

Business As Usual
by Jade
Part 1

Duo looked up from the counter at the young man hovering outside the door. He grinned; he'd seen it a thousand times. Newbies. He shook his head. Didn't they realize they looked more obvious hesitating outside the door of an adult store than if they just went in? People were so silly sometimes, especially about sex. Everyone did it, everyone thought about it, and if there wasn't a demand for adult "toys," he wouldn't be standing here right now, working the best job he'd ever had. The hours were good, the pay was great, and he got a 20 percent discount on the merchandise. He smiled as the man made up his mind and walked through the door. He stood there for a moment, looking bewildered, and Duo decided to go over and offer assistance. After he'd checked him out for a few moments, though. Damn, if the man didn't have the nicest body Duo had ever seen outside of a movie. He looked about his own age, early 20's, and was wearing clothes that made it easy to see that incredible body. Tank top and spandex shorts, of all things, and he had the body for it. So many people wore spandex who really shouldn't. The man turned away and left Duo in contemplation of perhaps the finest ass he'd ever laid eyes on. Made him want to lay more than eyes on it. Long, muscular legs, slim hips, and wide shoulders, and the muscle definition in those arms was enough to make Duo drool. A messy mop of dark brown hair that fell in his handsome face, and Duo was in love. Or at least a close approximation. Time to help out the nice customer.

Heero looked around, completely at a loss. Give him any computer, any operating system, any problem and he could solve it. But an adult store? This was too much for him. He had no idea of what half this stuff was for, and upon further inspection he decided he really didn't want to know. He could feel himself blushing already, though he didn't even see anyone around. He had no idea how he had got roped into this; a co-worker of his was getting married, and he'd been conned into buying a gag gift for the groom. He couldn't admit that he had no idea what a gag gift might be. There was no way he was going to tell his colleagues that they were actually working with a 23 year old virgin. He'd never hear the end of it, and then they'd start trying to fix him up with every available woman in the company. And he did *not* want that. The VP's secretary already hit on him nearly every day, to the extent that he was about ready to file sexual harassment charges against the perpetually pink-clad woman. It probably wouldn't do any good, though. He was just about ready to give up and leave when he noticed someone coming toward him. Probably one of the employees, to ask if he needed help and embarrass him further. Just what he needed. He looked up at the polite, "Can I help you with something?" and just barely kept his jaw from hitting the floor.

Heero knew the young man was an employee because the store's name was emblazoned across the front of his shirt. His tight, black t-shirt, that was tucked into even tighter black jeans, that hugged everywhere they were supposed to hug just perfectly. And incidentally left no doubt that their wearer was very definitely male, in spite of the gorgeous long braid of chestnut hair that hung over his shoulder. He looked up, dragging his eyes from contemplation of the lean, lithe torso, and focused on the man's face. He wore a look of amusement, and he was the man of Heero's dreams. That the p erson of Heero's dreams was male was another thing his co-workers didn't know. And in the conservative town he lived in, it had to stay that way, unfortunately. He suddenly realized that a response was required, and as he drowned in violet-blue eyes he decided that maybe he should stay here just a little longer. After all, he had a gift to purchase.

"I... I..." he struggled to find his voice. Heero was naturally a bit shy in new situations, and now, faced with the hottest man he'd ever seen, surrounded by sex toys, he really had to work hard not to stammer.

Duo smiled, genuinely this time. The man was adorable in his confusion. He was even more handsome close up, and the afternoon was looking up. The man had seemed to be checking him out, but he wasn't completely sure. It would be a bad idea to hit on the customers if his advances weren't welcome. He'd have to play it by ear. "Relax. Is it your first time here?"

Amazingly, as Heero looked at the man, he did relax a bit. After all, lots of people must stumble in here, ignorant... he tried a smile and answered, "Yes. I... I'm supposed to buy a gift..."

Duo laughed, a high, pleasant sound. "Ah, you got saddled with buying the bachelor party gag gift, did you? Poor thing. I'm Duo. I'll do my best to make this as painless as possible." He stuck out his hand for Heero to shake it.

Now Heero relaxed even more, shaking Duo's hand and resisting the urge to hold it a bit too long. "Thanks, Duo. I'm Heero. You're exactly right, and I have no clue what I'm doing."

Duo put a hand on Heero's shoulder, biting his lip at the feel of the silky skin over muscle. He was starting to get hard already, and he knew from experience that he got reckless when he got aroused. Down, boy. He steered the other man over to the couples section. "You'll probably want to start over here," he said as soothingly as possible. Normally he wouldn't be quite this helpful but his normal customers didn't have bodies like Heero's. After another long surreptitious look he decided that Heero couldn't possibly be wearing underwear under those shorts, and he got even harder.

Heero looked in amazement at the shelves of mysterious objects. He had no clue what most of them were for, and from the pictures on the packages, he *really* didn't want to know. "Do people really *buy* these things?" He blurted, then realized how ignorant he sounded.

Duo laughed. Heero was really quite cute in his confusion. "Yes, they do," he answered. "Now, let me ask you a couple questions so we can get this over with." Not that he wanted to. "Now I don't want to assume anything. But the couple in question is a heterosexual couple, yes?"

"Yes," answered Heero; it hadn't occurred to him that the toys would be specific. "Does that matter?" He blushed again as he realized what he had asked, and the discussion that might ensue. He really had to pay more attention to what he was saying, but looking at the longhaired man was making the blood rush to other parts of his body than his brain.

Grinning, Duo answered. "Some of them are pretty specific, yes, but some are, um, more general." He had a feeling that Heero really didn't want too much of an explanation.

"Ah," Heero said, at a loss for words. He tried to look at the items without looking too closely at anything. He shook his head. "I really have no clue. Could you just pick something for me?"

Duo raised an eyebrow. "Well, I guess," he said, eyeing the shelves. He spotted a nice set of flavored massage oils, and reached past Heero to pull it off the shelf. He was feeling reckless, and he "accidentally" let his arm brush across Heero's chest as he did so. He just wanted to feel those impressive muscles. "These are always popular," he said, showing Heero.

Heero stared at the package, trying desperately to get a clue as to what it was for. "It looks fine," he said vaguely. He was still trying to recover from the brief touch of Duo's arm against him.

Duo snickered. "You don't know what any of this stuff is, do you?" He wished he could offer to show him, have a chance to put his hands all over that amazing body. But he doubted that customer service could extend quite that far.

Heero looked down. "No, I really don't," he said, embarrassed. "I'll just take this." He started to walk away.

Duo instantly felt ashamed. He hadn't meant to make it sound like he was mocking the other man. "Hey, it's cool, man. Don't be embarrassed. Sometimes I forget that not everyone works with x-rated toys." He placed a hand on Heero's arm. "Wow, dude. You must work out a lot."

Heero turned to look at Duo, smiling shyly. "I just feel so silly in here." He really liked the way Duo's hand felt on him and he had to resist the urge to cover it with his own. "And yes, I lift weights and do martial arts."

Duo stared at Heero's upper arm under his hand, letting his hand trail down softly before letting it drop. He looked up at his face. "Listen," he said. "You've got what you came for, but are you sure I can't show you anything else? We have a whole store of fun stuff, you know." He tried to tell himself he was just trying to make a sale, but he really didn't want Heero to leave.

Heero shivered under Duo's touch, telling himself that it was unintentional, but it still affected him anyway. "I..." he stammered. He didn't want to stop talking to Duo. "Not really..."

"Oh, come on, you're in here now, the worst is over!" said Duo encouragingly. "Why not have a look around? You have a girlfriend?" he asked as casually as possible. It was too much to hope, of course, that the gorgeous man shared his preferences.

"No!" Heero answered, a little more forcefully than he intended. "I, no, I don't. Have anyone. At the moment." He winced as he realized how pathetic that sounded.

"Ah," Duo answered. Heero's answer was a bit odd, and it unsettled him. He wasn't sure what to say next. "Um," he said, casting around in his brain for something neutral to say. "So what kind of girl do you like?" He almost rolled his eyes at himself; he was no good at heterosexual banter. He had no idea what guys talked about.

"Well," said Heero, feeling trapped and blurting out the first thing that came to his mind. "I'm not really interested in girls." As soon as the words left his mouth, he could have slapped himself. Duo would be disgusted with him.

Duo's mouth fell open and then he broke out into a delighted grin. "Really?" he said a bit more excitedly than he meant to. Life had suddenly gotten much better.

Heero looked at Duo. "You mean..." He couldn't believe his luck. This gorgeous creature was gay too?

Duo smiled. "Let's just say we have a lot in common, Heero." Now, more confidently, he grasped the other man's upper arm. "Mmm. I think we should go over here and visit the men only section." He pulled Heero toward the corner of the room.

Heero let himself be led, still trying to grasp the situation. Suddenly, everything was different. He was actually more embarrassed now, but it was an anticipatory embarrassment. He still didn't have a clue what he was doing.

Duo was in his element now. "Ok, we have every flavor of lube known to man. A huge range of assorted dildos, vibrating or not. Four sizes of cock rings; you won't find that in our competitor's store, all sizes of anal plugs, harnesses..." he trailed off, realizing that Heero looked like a deer in the headlights. "What's your kink, Heero? Tell me what you like and I'll help you find the perfect accessory."

Heero just gaped. If anything, there were even more products here than in the other section. He had no idea that people used this stuff. Who would need a 12-pack of cherry lube? He knew what it was used for, of course, theoretically, but his mind was beginning to boggle. "I... don't know," he admitted. It seemed the safest thing to do.

"You don't know?" Duo asked incredulously. He decided to try another tack. "What do you enjoy? Do you usually top or bottom? Do you like oral? Rimming?" The blank look on Heero's face was unsettling.

Heero opened and closed his mouth a few times. He decided that honesty was probably the best policy and if he lied he'd probably get caught pretty quickly anyway.

"I don't know," he repeated. "I've never done it. Anything, really."

It was Duo's turn to gape. His brain couldn't process it, so he blurted out, "Shut up!"

Heero just looked at him a bit sadly, and he went on. "No, seriously. You are not standing there telling me... you're a virgin. You've never had sex." Heero nodded. "Oh my god."

Heero hung his head. "It's ok, I know I'm pathetic. I just... my parents were very conservative, and so was my school, and now my company... I just never had much of a chance, I guess. I must not be very attractive."

Duo's mouth was working but no sound was coming out. Then he found his voice. "You're shitting me, right? You? Not attractive?" Heero didn't say anything, so he went on. "Listen, Heero. You are the sexiest man I have ever seen. *Ever.* I got hard the second I saw that ass of yours walk in. Most gay men I know would cut off a non-vital body part just to *touch* you."

Heero looked at Duo. He still felt like Duo was having one over on him, but his mind was still stuck back on part of the longhaired man's statement. "I made you hard?"

"Fuck yes," purred Duo, and the sound went right to Heero's cock.

"You made me hard too," Heero said hesitantly.

Duo almost moaned. He glanced quickly around the store. It was quite empty this time of day, and the owner didn't usually mind if he shut the store for a half hour so he could have lunch in peace. "Tell you what, Heero," he said with a predatory grin, "We could, um, go into the dressing room and I could, well, show you a few things. So you could see what you've been missing."

on to part 2

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