For You I Suffer
Only our lips met, but my body ignited and my mind spun away into the midnight sky, flung carelessly amongst the stars twinkling above, cold in their beauty and ignorant of the extent of my joy. In the infinite darkness, all of the questions that had plagued me from the moment I had formed a sense of self were answered. The questions were the same that had always bedeviled the human mind. Why am I here? What is my purpose? Why am I made to endure the trials and torments of this life?
But now, as my baron possessed the depths of my mouth with deep, confident sweeps of his tongue, as the sweetness of his breath filled me, and as I gave myself up to the reassuring strength of his arms, my truth was revealed.
For him. My purpose in this world was to serve this man, to worship him, to let him command my soul. After what seemed like the briefest of moments - though I was left forever changed - he released my lips, and with my first breath, I announced my enlightenment in the softest whisper.
"For you, I suffer."
For a moment, my baron just stared at me, as if startled by my words. But then, he realized that, for the first time since my arrival, I truly grasped the full extent of my commitment. And for the first time, I was granted the pleasure of witnessing a sight so rare and beautiful that my heart aches at the mere memory - he smiled, fully and without reservation, a true smile to pleasure.
"Yes, my beautiful Duo. Now you understand."
Completely enthralled by the magnificence of his visage, I failed to notice as Quatre approached me from behind. My first moment of awareness came as something moist pressed against the puckered opening between my nethermost cheeks. Though the experience with Helen had accustomed me to the sensation, I still gave into the urge to cringe away from the intrusion. I jerked my head towards the source of the threat and saw that it was Quatre's finger. It glistened with some sort of pleasant-smelling gel and he held up the jar in his free hand for my inspection.
"It's time for your adjustment, Duo," he explained. "Surely Helen told you what to expect?"
She had, I realized, remembering her comment about what she was doing to me then making things easier for me later. But, I'd stubbornly refused to think about what precisely those 'things' might entail. Now, education was to be thrust upon me once again.
I looked back towards Heero and apparently my eyes reflected my anxiety because he cupped my face in his hand and caressed my cheek with calming strokes of his thumb. He captured my fretful gaze with a sea of intense blue.
"You will do this for me, Duo, won't you?"
Though phrased as a question, his words dripped with command and I found myself nodding. Of course I would; I would do absolutely anything he requested of me. Noting my acquiescence, the baron smiled again, though this version was much more subdued that the last.
Quatre's response to my obedience was predictably delighted. "Excellent! Then let's begin, shall we?"
Heero grasped my hand and led me to the foot of the bed. He paused a moment to remove his brocade vest, leaving only his white close-shirt. My eyes briefly traced the musculature of his torso beneath the soft cloth as he released my chain and dropped it to the floor. He sat on the bed before taking hold of my waist and turning me. Sitting me in front of him, he wrapped his arm around me. The baron inclined slightly, taking me with him, so that my pelvis tilted upwards. Unconsciously, I leaned against him, almost cuddling into his strong chest.
A wooden box lay on the bed next to us and it drew my attention - my recent history with mysterious boxes gave me cause for concern - until the trainer came to meet us, still holding the jar and coating yet more fingers with its contents.
"Spread your legs and just relax." This unexpectedly from the baron. Nerves screaming with dreaded anticipation, I did as demanded, resting my legs over top of Heero's strong thighs. He increased the stretch of my legs by widening the position of his own. I swallowed at my returned vulnerability, my memory supplying endless visions of the furred chair in the dining hall. Quatre smiled and continued his earlier endeavor, rubbing the gel across my opening, fingers occasionally probing deeper. My cock twitched at the maddening sensation, tingles of pleasure tracing along my spine.
Suddenly, a random prod became a determined penetration, and I automatically adjusted to the pressure, my time with Helen not having been ill spent. Taking deep breaths, I concentrated on the feel of my baron's reassuring presence and forced my muscles to accept the invading digit.
As it had with the tube, my body adjusted and a sense of accomplishment filled me. I tilted my head to smile at Heero, eager to share my moment of pride. He returned the gesture, stroking my hair with his free hand. My instant of triumph was short-lived, however, as the blond added a second finger, stretching me even further.
I gasped, more from surprise than pain. The tube had been thicker than the single finger but was definitely smaller than two. However, Quatre had taken care to ease the process as much as possible with the gel and his well lubricated fingers caused little discomfort, though they left my lungs panting for air. Again, my body adjusted, though it was just in time to accept yet a third digit.
This was too much! I whimpered and shifted my hips in an effort to escape the relentless trainer. Of course, my resistance was futile and he continued in his quest while moisture beaded upon my flushed skin.(1) This time it did hurt and I looked at the baron again, my eyes asking 'why'? In answer, he pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead and brought his free hand up to one of my restrained nipples.
Without warning, he removed one of the clamps and then the violating fingers were the least of my concerns. As before, a burning pain flowed from the freed nub, radiating down into my stomach, through my legs and into my toes. Struggling to hide my reaction from my baron, I clenched the bed covers, my knuckles white with strain. Slowly the pain subsided and all I was left with was the, now, only mildly strange feel of Quatre's fingers as they stretched my accommodating body and the entirely wonderful feeling of Heero's fingers manipulating the overly sensitive flesh of my distended nipple.
I moaned, saturated in the myriad of sensations assaulting my hitherto innocent self, for my prior experience paled in comparison. The baron timed the release of my other nipple so that the scissoring motions the blond started with his fingers went practically unnoticed. As the blood returned, my mind congratulated the baron for his cleverness through the waves of agony. The flood passed and both nubs were subjected to maddening caresses as the trainer finally completed his task.
At some point during ordeal, my eyes had closed, allowing me to experience every nuance to the fullest. But they flew open in shock at Quatre's next words.
"And now, on to the difficult part."
'Difficult part?!' my mind panicked as my body struggled against the baron's iron hold. 'You mean that was the easy part?!' I had retained enough self-control to refrain from screaming these thoughts aloud to my tormentors, but I couldn't suppress the urge to flee. Fortunately, the baron anticipated my impending rebellion and immediately counteracted any attempt I might have made had I been able to think clearly enough to order my limbs to move.
He grabbed my hands and brought them together behind his neck. Then, from some unknown location he produced a pair of manacles and secured my wrists.(2) Just as I would have lifted my hands back over his head, he sat up so that my arms were stretched as far as they could be, leaving me effectively trapped.
Once I realized that escape was impossible, I began to feel ashamed at my ungrateful behavior and afraid that my actions had angered - or worse, disappointed - my master and my handler. Sheepishly, I raised my eyes to the blond, since I couldn't see the baron's face in my current position, wondering whether his friendly features could manage to express a negative emotion.
Suffice it to say, the smile and aquamarine tinted twinkle that met my gaze surprised me greatly. My brow wrinkled in confusion, but no explanation was forthcoming from that source.
However, apparently anticipating my bewilderment the baron said, "You present quite the picture in distress, eyes flashing, lips parted, skin flushed, cock throbbing. I rather enjoyed your struggles and I definitely like this position. I like it very much."
Indeed he did; I could feel his arousal pressing against my lower back. And my own cock, as he'd noted, was reacting to the entire situation - the memory of Quatre's fingers deep within my orifice and my new helplessness. It had swollen and ached as it pulsed against the golden ring. The secret was revealed: through obedience was sublime, resistance could provide its own rewards.
Quatre chuckled as I lowered my eyes coyly, a smile ghosting over my lips. Hiding my amusement became much easier as the trainer picked up the box and my apprehension returned. My eyes were glued to the container as the blond opened it and removed a most peculiar object.
Well, actually, the appearance of the device was extremely familiar. It was, in fact, a very realistic and well formed cock, carved completely from smooth, polished wood. The impression of veins ran along the sides and a distinctive head indicated where the simulated organ began. The only irregularity about the object was its size. It was on the thin side, really not much thicker than my own middle finger and only a bit longer. Curious, but stupidly unconcerned as of yet, I cocked my head as I examined the object.
Quatre held it so that I could look at it from all angles. Then, once he was satisfied with my perusal, he coated the wooden cock with copious amounts of the gel. Only then did I begin to imagine where the dildo - that is the correct term I was informed - was destined to reside. I gazed at the trainer's face, searching for even a hint that my suspicions were unfounded. But, of course, I found no reassurance. As my mind groped for understanding, it was provided by the kind blond.
"This is only the first dildo with which you will be fitted. You will wear it tonight and tomorrow; and then, tomorrow night, you'll be given another, larger version. This process will continue, with each successive dildo being ever larger, until you are ready for..."
He looked over my shoulder at the man sitting behind me and no other words were needed. And though my heart and body yearned and shivered at the very thought of experiencing the baron's ultimate possession, my mind struggled to accept that my tender orifice would be made to house these wooden monstrosities for days at a time.
However, intellectually, I could see the logic in the plan. By gradually allowing me to adjust to larger and larger variants of the dildo, my acclimation would be gentle and the end result would be far less traumatic than it might be otherwise.
But, of course, logic had no place in my current life and I tested the strength of my restraints, finding an unaccountable sense of security in their implacability. This act would be forced upon me regardless of my consent, tacit or explicit, and again, the loss of control gave me comfort. I had given these men absolute power over every aspect of my being and this was just another test of my commitment to them, as well as theirs to me.
Although my inability to see my baron was disturbing, I gazed into Quatre's soft eyes, gaining comfort from their smiling depths. The baron's silent, steadfast presence allowed me to gather my courage and I answered the question in the trainer's gaze by taking a deep breath and spreading my legs even further, opening my body and offering myself to both of them.
Quatre smiled in approval of my forced enthusiasm and poised the slick dildo at my entrance. I took another deep breath as before, willing my body to relax and to receive the device. Though it's size was not overly impressive, its rigidity made the process nearly unbearable. My inner flesh gave reluctantly before the wooden head, the muscles trying valiantly to oust the invader, but it continued on its relentless path, past the limit of Relena's girlish exploration, beyond the cleansing tube wielded by the practical Helen, and even further than Quatre's fingers had recently journeyed.
The dildo was inserted until the flared base rested against my flushed, sweat-covered skin. And did my graceful complacency last throughout the procedure? Did I moan prettily, indicating my acceptance with subtle flexings of my muscles and flutterings of my lashes? Did I make the episode completely unfulfilling for my companions?
Of course not! I cried, I screamed, I thrashed, I begged, but to no avail. Quatre was not dissuaded and Heero's hold never slackened. The experience was painful, engendering a pervasive and soul-stealing sense of violation. The dildo split me apart in the one area that, until recently, I'd believed inviolate, rendering me asunder with implacable force.
For the first time in my life, I could sympathize with the agonies of a female virgin, enduring that first thrust of a heedless cock into her tender passage. I mentally apologized to my distant Hilde for my certain thoughtlessness during our first time together. But, in the secret part of my heart which had agreed to the baron's demands in that far away study, I was elated.
Not in my wildest imaginings could I have possible conceived of this moment. The surrender was exquisite and the previously unknown, dark corner of my psyche where my acceptance of my new role was anticipated and welcomed, my soul rejoiced. The baron's strong grasp supported and calmed me and my trainer's sure touch guided me into the search for perfection. This is how it was supposed to be and if we never progressed past this moment I would remain thoroughly content.
But, eventually the dildo was in place and Quatre withdrew. He attempted a stern frown to rebuke my histrionics, though the gleam in his eyes belied the disapproving, and unconvincing, expression. I'd learned the lesson that resistance, when done with grace and sexy panache, was more than welcome - expected even - and I wouldn't soon forget. Indeed, the frown soon failed and was replaced by the more customary happy grin. Quatre leaned down to place a kiss against my beaded forehead, brushing gentle fingers over my still fastened collar.
"Well done as always, Duo," he said softly. Gently, he reached for my bound hands, removing them from around Heero's neck and releasing the locks. He exchanged a brief glance with the silent baron before stepping away from the bed, leaving the manacles laying on the floor.
"And now, I'll wish you both a good night. Duo, I'll come for you in the morning," he added by way of dismissal. With that, he vacated the bedchamber, leaving me alone with the baron for the first time since I'd entered the dining hall many hours earlier. I felt abandoned as he closed the door and I stared at the portal as the sound of the outer door opening and shutting reached my straining ears. I experienced a moment of sadness, as if at the loss of a dear friend, until clever hands reached for my constrained manhood.
Immediately, I was lost in sensation, the sound of my tortured moans seeming far away to my own ears. By body clenched around its new companion and I instantly began to appreciate its presence as the dildo pressed firmly against my opening and my hidden inner walls. Finally, I thought, these beloved hands would grant me the release I'd desired for so long. Even with the cockring I felt that I could come if only he'd continue the firm strokes being bestowed upon my sensitive flesh.
Of course, it was not to be. The baron released my cock and lifted me from the bed and I tried not to shout my unfulfilled distress. He stood as well and I turned to look at him, chest heaving and cock throbbing. His deep-blue gaze looked at me intently, heightening my arousal to an excruciating degree.
"Undress me," was his simple, low-voiced command. My hands leapt to the ties of his close-shirt, impatient to comply. He took hold of my hands with his own, however, forestalling my efforts.
"With your teeth."
I blinked at the qualification, my eyes falling to his suddenly formidable clothing. Fortunately, every fastening of his garments was secured with ties rather than buttons so the task would not be overly difficult. The catch - and there was always a catch I was quickly learning - was that the use of my teeth would make an already intimate occupation even more erotic.
My greedy body hummed as I leaned towards his chest, gripping the ties at the throat of his close-shirt with my teeth and inhaling deeply, his scent filling my flared nostrils. A gentle tug made short work of the closing and the cloth gaped open, revealing the longed for expanse of the baron's impressive chest, the chest I could feel pressing against my back during my prior trial. 'But how to actually remove the shirt?' I fretted.
Heero offered no assistance, standing quietly with his arms by his sides, simply observing my performance. I could see no way to complete my task since the close-shirt was held by a small portion of stitching by his waist. Since he was slightly taller than me, pulling it over his head was out of the question. Then, a solution came to me and I acted on it before allowing myself to consider the possible consequences.
I knelt before him and, taking hold of one side of the secured cloth, I pulled sharply, ripping the stitching and freeing Heero's magnificent, bronze torso. Easily I removed the close-shirt from his shoulders with my teeth, letting it drift to the floor, and waited dutifully with a lowered gaze for my punishment for ruining the fine apparel. Instead, a single finger place under my chin raised my head and I lifted my gaze to his. My entire body tingle at the sight of his smile.
"Nicely executed. However, I forgot to mention that you may use your hands when *absolutely* necessary."
I returned his smile, understanding that he'd played a small joke on me. The moment of shared humor made my heart soar and I quickly turned to the ties securing his skin-tight breeches. What treasures awaited me behind the clinging fabric, I pondered. Once the laces were undone, I took a moment to untie his boots, bending low to the ground and lifting my posterior in the air with what I prayed was an enticing wiggle. Using my hands, I divested him of the footwear and then raised myself to my knees to tackle the loosened breeches.
I grabbed the fabric at his slender hips, making sure that my knuckles brushed against his skin. The slight intake of breath coming from above me was my reward as I slowly pulled down the dark-colored leggings, eager to view my present but reluctant for the anticipation to end.
Inch by glorious inch, his arousal was revealed and it was all I could to not to rip the cloth from him. At last, the breeches were lowered past the baron's cock and it sprung forth to greet me - showing in exquisite detail just why the dildo that rested within my body was necessary. Pausing in my assigned task, I took a moment to admire it, enthralled with its perfection. Longer and thicker than my own not inconsiderable member, my baron's manhood was a thing of beauty. It was slightly darker in hue than his bronzed complexion and veins pulsed delicately beneath the skin, providing the blood that facilitated the prodigious dimensions. An intoxicating aroma of aroused maleness wafted from him and I breathed deeply, letting it suffuse my senses. Never did my eyes stray from the object of my desire as I pushed the breeches down Heero's strong legs to his well-shaped feet, allowing him to completely step out of them.
Finally, my baron was fully revealed to my adoring eyes, not a naked thing to be ogled and fondled like myself, but a godlike being to be worshipped. And worship I would, awaiting only the baron's instructions as to how. Like everything he did, his orders were succinct and to the point.
"I want your mouth."
This was all he said, and though nothing in my prior experience had prepared me for this moment, I instantly understood. I was still on my knees and, without hesitation, I pressed a tender kiss to the head of his cock, my hair spilling over my shoulder as I leaned forward. With that one gesture, I tried to express every modicum of feeling that had overcome me since the moment I'd seen him sitting behind the massive desk earlier that day. No, since he'd graced my humble farm with his mesmerizing self over a year ago.
I glanced up into his face, my lips still touching his hot flesh. His return look was steady, only the faintest hint of color along his cheekbones signaling that I had caused any sort of reaction. Satisfied with even that much, I separated my lips and replaced them with the tip of my tongue.
With small, circling licks, I concentrated solely on the round head, savoring every nuance of his flavor and the texture of his skin. I closed my eyes, cutting out anything that might distract me from my task. Round and round I traced, pausing every now and again to probe the intriguing slit that marred the smooth expanse.
I can't say how long I continued, but I was content, patiently waiting for a particular sign. Suddenly, the baron abandoned his reserve and plunged his hands into my loose hair. The motion was accompanied by a deep groan. That was the signal for which I'd been waiting, and in gratitude for his acknowledgement of my fledgling skills, I opened my mouth wide and slowly engulfed his length, my lips pressing firmly along every inch.
Never in my previous life could I have imagined that one day I would be kneeling in front of another man, happily suckling at his cock like a newborn calf at its mother's teat. Yet, here I was, and I could honestly say that I had never enjoyed anything more than I was enjoying the taste of Heero's cock.
As I said, the baron was by no means small, and I was forced to stretch my jaw to its limits to accommodate him. But the small discomfort was nothing compared to the feel of him, filling my mouth as he would one day fill another part of me. Eventually, the tip of his arousal brushed the soft tissue at the back of my throat, causing a helpless gag to rise from my chest. However, as I learned more about my body, I was also learning how to better control it and I refused to stop my oral devotion. Gradually, my throat relaxed and with a deep breath, I swallowed him completely.
Heero inhaled sharply, grasping handfuls of my hair as I worked him with throat and tongue. Buried as he was down my throat, the need for air soon became a concern. Though reluctant to part from him, even if only the smallest amount, I pulled back slightly as I inhaled through my nose. The air rushing into my lungs inadvertently created a vacuum in my mouth and the difference in pressure actually drew a moan from the taciturn baron.
I opened my eyes and glanced upward, amazed to see that the color had blossomed into a hectic flush that threatened to suffuse his entire face. He had closed his own eyes and his head was tilted back, sensual lips parted.
I was enthralled with the vision he presented and, eager to hear that helpless sound once more, I slid him back down my throat and pulled away, sucking as hard as I could. A vocalized 'uhh' was my reward and I repeated the gesture, wanting to see just how many different sounds I could get.
Another 'uhh' was followed by and 'ohh', and the feeling of strong fingers digging into my scalp was accompanied by a 'umm, yeah!' I was intoxicated with my own success, not to mention the feel of his hands in my hair and the scent of arousal rising from his heated body. Back and forth I moved, faster and faster, keeping up the suction with lips and tongue, relentless in my desire and driven by the painful throbbing of my own cock.
"Duo," he groaned and began thrusting his hips, plunging his manhood down my throat. I was ready for him and received him eagerly. I grabbed his narrow hips with my hands, wanting to feel the latent power of his movements. Mercilessly he pounded into my mouth, nearly bruising my throat, and I savored the moment, never wanting it to end.
Suddenly, a guttural shout issued from him at the same time that his body froze. Streams of thick, hot cream spouted into my mouth, coating tongue, cheeks, and throat alike. It was utterly delicious and I swallow every blessed drop. Finally, the streamed trickled to a stop and he pulled from my mouth, releasing his hold on my head.
Panting for breath, I continued to kneel as he backed away, lips parted as though begging him to return. He stumbled slightly as he reached for the bed. Seeing the unintentional admission of weakness, I looked down to hide what was surely a very smug smile. Licking my lips to capture his linger flavor, I awaited his orders.
The baron sat heavily on the bed, chest heaving as he slowly caught his breath. Finally, his eyes opened and he looked at me and motioned me forward with a jerk of his head. I rose to my feet and approached him, glancing upward occasionally to imprint the sight of his flushed cheeks and glazed eyes in my mind. Upon reaching the bed, I paused, head bowed meekly. He reached up and lifted my chin.
"I never dared expect so much for your first time," he rasped. "Truly, you are a treasure."
I was unable to contain my joy and stood there, grinning like an idiot. His lips quirked in response and, grabbing my wrist, he pulled me onto the bed. He captured my mouth, thanking me silently and tasting himself with deep sweeps of his tongue. When he moved away, I could only stare, the ache in my cock my constant companion.
He slid back onto the bed, resting his back against the carved headrest. My wrist still in his firm grasp, he pulled me to him so that my back was pressed against his chest. The sensation of skin-against-skin prompted a deep sigh and I gave into the urge to rest my head against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me. He kissed the side of my exposed neck above the my ever-present collar before moving his lips to my ear.
"You've had a hard day, my beautiful Duo, and now its time for your reward."
I shivered as his hot breath whispered to me. Yes, my day had been *hard* and it still was. But a reward? As far as I was concerned, I'd just received one; but I was eager to hear what he had in mind.
"You will only be allowed this once a day, but I think anything less is unhealthy. So enjoy it while you can."
Before I could pose the obvious question, he reached down and removed my cockring. Stunned, I watched as his hand wrapped around my tortured member and began to slowly stroke it. After so long, I couldn't help but cry out, my cock sensitized to an unbearable degree. As if that weren't enough, he used his free hand to fondle a tender nipple and I was lost.
The rest of that moment remains a mere haze in my memory. My body and mind were completely overloaded and all I can recall is his hand moving ever faster along my flesh until I shouted my release, my own copious fluids coating my stomach and chest. After being hard for so long, my cock fell immediately slack, slumping against my thigh just as I slumped back against my baron, completely spent.
Before I could pass out, Heero traced the wetness with a finger, bringing it to my lips so I could taste myself. Turning my head, he leaned in and sampled my passion for himself before picking up a convenient cloth to wipe me clean. My entire body was so lax, I couldn't even muster the energy to return his kiss. Fortunately, he didn't seem to expect anything more from me just then. Gathering me up into his arms, he laid back, letting my head rest against his chest. The last thing I saw was the candlelight playing over his features.
"I love you," I whispered and knew no more.
(1) Sorry, folks. Though I'm not a huge Star Trek fan, I just couldn't help myself! ^_^
(2) See, even in an AU Heero still has access to spandex space!