WARNING: Very High Angst Lemon, Proceed With Caution, Kleenex Warning
[Sequel to Tragic Secrets; Book 6 of the "Secrets" Arc, Final Installment of arc]
Author: Enigma
Written: October & November, 2000
Cumulative Rating: NC-17
Pairings: (1x2/2x1) (3x4/4x3) (5+S)
Category: Angst, yaoi, AU
Cumulative Warnings: Angst, lemon, yaoi, sap, AU, OOC
Be Prepared: Kleenex Warnings!! also: avoid Colas
DISCLAIMERS: I don't own Gundam Wing or any other anime or TV characters I use here, just the ideas in this story and some characters that are new are truly mine. Any reference to copyrighted material or trademarked goods should be considered an "homage" (yeah, right!) Don't sue me, even the lawyers wouldn't enjoy it, except of course for the Ashe and Jojo characters!
NOTE: Timeframe---after the war has ended and the Gundams were destroyed. //yada, yada, yada// = inner thoughts

Silencing The Secrets

//Even perfect soldiers get the blues. Lame, Yuy, very lame!//

Heero Yuy, former pilot of the Wing Zero Gundam was not having a very good day. Actually, he was not having a very good time all the way around. The last few months had been a living Hell for him especially as it pertained to the man he loved, Duo Maxwell.

Months ago, on a day which set in motion events which seemed to have been designed to try the very souls of all five former pilots, he had proposed marriage to the violet-eyed pilot of the Gundam Deathscythe only to have the young man go into full cardiac arrest. This, in turn, brought to light a number of frightening secrets about Duo which almost cost both of them their lives. To Heero's horror, it was revealed that Quatre's personal physician had diagnosed a congenital heart defect during the war which Duo refused treatment for as well as the fact that the American had been subjected to serial rape and torture when captured by OZ during the war. The rape experience had effected Duo so deeply he had even tried to commit suicide twice at the time, both attempts were stopped by Chang Wufei, a dedicated friend who had sacrificed his own blood through direct transfusions to keep the other pilot alive at the time.

After these frightening mysteries had been unearthed, an even more terrifying one became clear. During surgery to repair the defect, another problem was discovered which required a heart transplant to save Duo's life. However, there was virtually no chance of obtaining a donor organ in time and Heero had become temporarily insane in his desire to save his life that he had done the unthinkable and had stolen an organ instead. It was during this incident that he was befriended by Gene Starwind, maverick transplant doctor and now a close ally as well.

The ramifications of this illegal act had been overwhelmingly dark when Heero was sent to a maximum security prison and kept in solitary confinement until his bail hearing. When bail was denied, however, he was granted compensatory rights within the prison which, regrettably, brought about his being endangered and subjected to a violent sexual assault in one of the prison group showers. He had nearly died at the time and would have died mentally at least if it weren't for the intervention of a young girl who was scarred permanently by "sharing" the experience of the rape as well as the trauma of convincing the Japanese man not to abandon reality.

When he had recovered enough from the rape to begin to face the world once more, Heero had gained another new ally, Junpei "Jack" Ryuzouji. Jack was a SWAT captain who became his own personal bodyguard out of guilt but then became a friend as the two very different men got to know each other over the weeks of recovery. Heero was unaware of the horrors his fiancÚ was suffering at the time.

Duo, upon hearing of the terrible gang rape and how badly injured Heero was, once more lost what had been a fairly tenuous hold on his sanity. He had attempted one of the most bizarre and bloody acts of suicide anyone had heard of when he tried to remove the donor heart from his chest with his bare fingers. No one was certain, but it appeared that he thought, in some illogical way, that by removing the heart which had been the reason Heero was incarcerated, that Heero would be freed and no longer injured.

This fall into madness resulted in Quatre's arranging for Yukito Tsukishiro being called into the Winner estate. Unfortunately, the handsome young psychiatrist had no experience with matters of a sexual nature and found himself drawn to the undeniable appeal of Duo Maxwell; he mistook the youth's confused reactions under medication for what they were not. This resulted in a strange sexual assault that Duo himself was completely unaware of, which was some minor relief at the time. Quatre and Trowa banished the man, shaken in his own confidence among other things, and he was replaced by a truly malicious individual named Zachariah Smith.

Smith was a totally amoral, self-serving creature who deliberately planned and then executed mistreatment of Duo's illness. Excessive drug use and unauthorized hypnotherapy were used to brainwash him into thinking that Heero was dangerous for him and that any sexual feelings, especially any for another man, were also to be avoided at all costs. The destruction this had wrecked on what had been one of the few bright lights in Heero's life was immeasurable. Luckily, with the timely assistance of Gene Starwind, Heero had tracked down Smith's medical misconduct and attempted to set things right the day before.

While such damage was deep and they knew it would take time to heal, no one expected the truth about another secret lurking amongst the pilots, that Quatre Raberba Winner had a brain tumor and was slowly dying without anyone being fully aware of it. The blond Sandrock pilot had concealed the depth of his pain by taking massive quantities of painkillers without proper medical oversight and had finally succumbed to the tumor the night before. Thankfully, Laurel was there for him, too, and through her sacrifice Trowa Barton had been able to get Quatre to the hospital in time for emergency surgery to remove the tumor before he suffocated to death in his sleep.

Now, Heero Yuy was arranging for his new friends, Jack and Gene, to accompany him on a rescue mission to attempt to retrieve Chang Wufei and Sally Po from DH-1221, a colony which had suffered massive system failures and was dying in space. The colony was plagued with recurring electromagnetic pulses which prevented the use of any standard equipment as well as eliminating any reliable communication methods from the colony to Earth and back. So, it fell to Heero to take a shuttle plus the two men he had every confidence in yet who had no experience with a disaster of this sort, to go out and try to save the two members of their unusual family. Luckily, with the resources available though the Winner Corporation and help from the Maganac General, Rasid, Heero would be well-equipped to undertake the dangerous duty of the rescue mission.

Sadly, it also meant leaving behind his very confused and now drug addicted former lover. He wished there was more he could do to help Duo regain his true memories, especially about their relationship, but there wasn't. Perhaps once the drugs were purged from his body the braided American would begin to recall what the pair had shared, but it was out of the question now.

//At least he's not going to be alone.// Heero thought as he sadly made his way back to Duo and Trowa who still waited for word on his own fiancÚ's surgery. //I'm not doing him any good staying here and acting like a love-struck teenager, so I'll go and do what I can for Wufei and Sally. I hope they are both okay, but even that is a lot to ask for right now. Actually,// he chuckled mentally, //Come to think of it I *am* a "teenager". No one knows my actual birth date, but I'm probably past 18 by now. Wonder if Duo is too? Probably. I always assumed we were pretty much the same age. Wish he could remember all of the little details of his life, but right now I'd settle for having him at least kiss me good-bye before I go. But I won't get my hopes up, he still treats me like an enemy and I won't push him away by demanding more now.//

He was in for a shock.

on to part 1

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