Silencing The Secrets
Trowa kissed Laurel's forehead lovingly and tried to think of a way to distract her. "But before I find out how to set everything up for
you to go see him, want to see what I brought you?"
"Something for me?" She smiled hopefully, trying very hard to be happy for her beloved Trowa-daddy.
"But of course, my angel! I brought you some flowers," he reached over and presented the things to her, "And some things to color, too.
Do you like them?"
She smiled warmly and hugged him close. "Yes, Daddy, they are very nice! But would you do me a favor, please?"
Tilting his head worrying there were other unwanted surprises awaiting him, Trowa cautiously asked, "What do you need me to do?"
"Well," the girl again wouldn't meet his eyes. This disturbed Trowa immensely; she had spoken of having recurrent "scary fake dreams"
and had apparently not gotten over the other problems plaguing her. "This sounds weird, I know, but I never use brand new crayons any
more. Please don't make me explain it now, but would you take a few out and use them a little for me first? Once they've been used,
then I can color with them just fine. Please?"
Strange request that it was, Trowa smiled reassuringly and nodded. As he proceeded to systematically "use" each crayon in the box of
24 a little at a time, he realized that she still needed the counseling they had tried to get for her before. Now though, he had her back and
was not going to let her return to the orphanage and she'd have the best treatment possible. He knew for a fact, this time, exactly who to
call, one of Quatre's numerous sisters was a child psychiatrist and he'd call her. With any luck, she'd be able to come to the estate and
help out. As to how he intended to keep Laurel there as well, he didn't know just yet. But he had her back and that was step one in the
process and the rest would undoubtedly fall into place. Carefully handing the box to her, Trowa kissed her one last time before leaving to
arrange for a visit with Quatre.
"Thank you, Daddy," She smiled happily. "You're here now and we can get Quatre-daddy all better and then maybe we can fix Uncle
Duo so he isn't broken any more, too, right?"
He paused at the strange wording. "Why did you say 'fix' Uncle Duo, Laurel? Is there something else you need to tell me? I haven't gone
to check on him yet, maybe if you tell me, then I can make sure they do something differently."
Dejected, the child refused to meet his eyes, a new trait that frightened him. "Well, I'm not sure, this may be just a scary fake dream, but
I saw him tied down and, well, he was screaming, Daddy. No one was there hurting him or anything, not like what happened to Mr.
Heero," a shudder ran down her spine at the memory so vividly and permanently engraved in her memory. "But he's all alone and
something is scaring him. I don't think the people trying to help him understand it, but I do. It's, well, Daddy, it's really yucky what is
scaring him, but" Her head flew up eyes gleaming with a burning passion Trowa had never seen before and it frightened him further. "But
*I* understand what is scaring him and *I* can fix it!"
The grim determination in her voice terrified Trowa yet was so forceful it would not be denied. "All right, Laurel. You've been right about
so many other things, perhaps this is something that must be done. For now, however, let me find out how you can go to see Quatre,
"Sure, Daddy, I just wanted you to know about Uncle Duo, too. We need to take care of both of them, but we can do it, right, Daddy?"
She seemed confident once more, yet nothing like a normal child her age should ever be.
Hesitating, Trowa finally agreed to part of it, "Yes, baby, whatever needs doing, we can do it now, the two of us, together." He smiled
and left before the fear could show in his eyes.
//How can she know so much and still retain her own sanity?// He worried as he tried to arrange for the visit she wanted. //She knows
too much of the pain even adults should never know. She has "seen" and "experienced" things even I can not begin to understand. Is
there any chance of her ever being a truly happy normal child again?//
Happily, Quatre had regained awareness while Trowa had been gone and was cognizant already in spite of the tranquilizers in his
system; he has been asking for his lover.
Based on this, as well as his increasingly strong vital signs, permission was granted for Laurel to come to the ICU. Ordinarily this would
have been forbidden, but the story of the child brought in by ambulance who had arranged through her own sacrifice to get the cancer
patient brought in under most unusual circumstances had reached there as well.
Trowa, taking a few minutes to speak with Laurel's doctor about the visit, discovered this was considered an excellent idea by the staff
of the hospital at large. So, it was no surprise when he returned to her room to find her being assisted by a volunteer into a wheelchair
for the trip to the ICU.
"Ready to go see Daddy, baby?" He asked seeing her all smiles once more.
"Yes, Daddy! Let's go!" She smiled broadly when the nurse was satisfied she was properly arranged for the trip. The pair leisurely made
their way out of the ward and down to see Quatre. Trowa was so accustomed to wheelchairs now, he didn't require the nurse's offered
assistance with the child.
They had entered the ICU and approached the doctor who ushered them directly into Quatre's room where the young man was indeed
awake and seemed to be doing quite well, talking with Dr. Akuma. "Oh, Quatre, it looks like you have visitors, I'll see you later, okay?"
"Sure thing! But who's here?" He asked failing to have heard the voices earlier.
"Would you like to have your fiancÚ visit?" Trowa asked teasingly.
"Trowa! You *are* here!" Quatre's smile was not as dazzling as it had been, the pain medication still present in his system keeping things
to a relatively controlled level. "Kiss me, please? Let me know you are real this time and not a dream! I dreamt you were here, but---"
He was silenced by a tender kiss that brought a gentle smile and a hand reaching out blindly for the man he loved. "I brought you a
special guest, koi. Do you mind having some more company?" Laurel looked about to jump out of the wheelchair she was so excited but
she was trying to be quiet, too.
"Who did you bring, Trowa? Is it Duo or Heero?" Quatre truly hated not being able to see.
Lifting Laurel into his arms, Trowa maneuvered the child over to kiss Quatre on the cheek. "Guess who?" Trowa asked enjoying
surprising Quatre in such a fashion.
"Laurel! Is that Laurel?!?" Quatre was thrilled and this time the smile was much larger. "Oh, Trowa, thank you, thank you so very much!
You brought me my angel!"
"Quatre-daddy!!" She happily wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled him. "I love you, Daddy!" She sniffled a tiny happy sniffle
as she refused to let go. Luckily she weighed very little and Trowa was remarkably strong. He held her over Quatre so they could
embrace without injuring either more than they already were.
Quatre's smile was indeed radiant as he released her from a warm hug. "Oh, Laurel, I've missed you so terribly badly! Trowa, how on
earth did you get her here? I mean, this is the most wonderful surprise and everything, but how?"
"I got here first!" Laurel bragged then giggled not realizing Quatre didn't know fully what had happened.
"You did?" Quatre was surprised. "How did that---AHHH!!!" The smile vanished as Quatre clutched his chest in pain. "Oh, Allah, no!
Not again! Not again, please, Allah, no!" He was practically screaming in agony. All of the monitors began to sound alerts and the
doctor rushed in trying to force everyone out, but Trowa steadfastly refused.
"We aren't leaving," He insisted. "He needs us *now*!" Scowling at the doctor, Trowa turned his full attention on Quatre, "What is it,
koi? What's happened?"
Gasping, Quatre lay still on the bed. Laurel, reached out a hand and stroked his forehead, "Daddy? It's okay, Daddy. I'm here, Daddy,
and I know why it hurts."
"Why?" Quatre sounded as if he was crying, but the bandages never let any tears slide through. "Trowa, something's wrong, I'm too
fuzzy from the drugs, someone's in trouble, and my uchuu no kokoro is trying to tell me but I can't tell who it is!"
"Daddy," Laurel looked apologetically at Trowa then delivered the message she knew she had to bring, "It's Uncle Wufei, Daddy. He's
lost and it's dark, but he's hurt and even though he would never admit it he's really scared. Shh, Daddy, it's nothing we can do anything
about right now. Mr. Heero is on the way to help him right now, but you can't let yourself feel these things for awhile, they are too
painful. Daddy, are you listening?"
Gasping for breath between sobs, Quatre answered softly. "But, Laurel, what's wrong with Wufei? Why is he scared?"
Laurel gently kissed him again. "Daddy, you have to turn off the feelings, it's hurting you. Please turn them off!" She pleaded gently.
"Daddy, Uncle Wufei is far away in space and it's dark and cold and he, well, I'm not completely sure if he broke both his legs or what,
but right now he can't walk. He's scared he'll die before he finds Dr. Sally and he loves her so much. But, Daddy, you have to turn off
"But, Laurel, I don't know if I can, this is too strong, but, Allah!" he moaned again. "It hurts so badly!"
"Daddy, listen to me." She leaned closer and kissed him again. "You have to turn it off completely. Remember the time you were
checking on me and it hurt so badly that you turned it off? You have to do the same thing only you have to turn it all the way off. And
you can't turn it back on again until you are all better. Do you know what I mean, Daddy? Please?"
Sighing, Quatre stopped speaking and seemed to turn his attention inwards. Another deep sigh left his lips as his blood pressure began to
descend to normal and his pulse rate slowed as well. "There, Laurel. I think I did it. Are you sure Wufei will be all right?" He asked
Sad and unhappy at what she had been forced to do to protect her Quatre-daddy, the little girl let a teardrop slip loose. "No, Daddy,
I'm not sure Uncle Wufei will be okay, but I am sure that if you didn't turn off the feelings you were going to be hurt worse and there's
nothing we can do for him here. Are you sure it's all the way off now, Daddy?" She asked her voice low in her throat.
"Yes, angel, it's off now." Quatre sounded tired and defeated as he lay trembling and gasping for breath. Trowa, utterly confused, simply
stood there holding the girl in his arms.