[Sequel to Unexpected Secrets; Book 5 of the "Secrets" Arc]
Written: October, 2000
Cumulative Rating: NC-17
Pairings: (2x1) (4x3/3x4) (5+S)
Category: Angst, yaoi, AU
Cumulative Warnings: Angst, disturbing material, lemon, AU, yaoi, sap, OOC
Materials Needed: Kleenex, Inner Peace; also: avoid Colas
DISCLAIMERS: For no apparent reason, I don't own Gundam Wing or any other anime or TV characters I use here, just the ideas in this story and some characters that are new are truly mine, for the moment at least. Don't ask. Just don't ask! Don't sue me either, please, it would be a waste of your money.
NOTE: Timeframe---after the war has ended and the Gundams were destroyed.

Tragic Secrets
Part 19

Trowa, wanting a bit of solitude, encouraged his two friends to take a walk together.

Heero and Duo were soon outside where dawn had painted the clouds a faint pink against the open majesty of a royal blue sky. They did not even look at each other for awhile until Heero broke the ice. "What do you think we should do about Wufei, Duo? It isn't right for us to stay here while he and Sally both are trapped on a dying colony."

"You're right, Heero, we should do something." Duo looked thoughtful then added, "But I doubt I could get medical clearance to even leave the planet, much less go to a disaster zone to try to help. Trowa needs to stay with Quatre. I'm afraid that leaves you our only viable operative on this one." The way Duo described it, the entire scenario reminded Heero of missions completed during the war.

"Would you mind if I left, koi?" Heero wasn't sure which answer he hoped to hear, but he was certain he wanted one.

"Please, Heero, we've been over this before. Don't call me things like that until we figure out what is going on between us." Heero felt even more of his hopes and dreams crumbling.

"Regardless, you are the only choice available to us and we all owe it to Wufei to at least try. Frankly, I'd mind it more if you *didn't* leave to go help him. Perhaps the time apart will help us sort things out, too." Duo was deadly serious.

Heero's shoulders slumped a bit wondering again just who exactly this stranger beside him was? They'd made love only that one night and in such a limited fashion, he had been looking for a much more intimate session shortly thereafter. But it was when Duo moved out of their shared room the next day that he realized Duo had done what he had that night out of a sense of duty, not desire. To know Duo had lied to him about something as serious as love hurt him deeply and shook his whole world to the core. It would take a long time before he felt he could trust him to not lie again.

Upon returning to the waiting area, Heero told Trowa he felt he needed to go look for Wufei, he owed him a huge debt for what had happened in the courtroom. Duo said he had to stay planet-side anyway, so he could be with Trowa and Quatre. Trowa was again bothered that the other two seemed to be drifting apart, but there was nothing he could do about it anyway.

Trowa asked Heero to walk with him to check on Laurel, more as an excuse to talk privately than anything else. Recognizing exactly what was being suggested, Heero readily agreed.

"Heero," Trowa began, "What are we going to do about all of this? Wufei and Sally both could be dead for all we know, and they had just started to admit their love for one another, it's tragic. You and Duo grow more distant daily. Laurel has been emotionally disturbed for some time and now she's injured again. Yet the single worst thing is that Quatre could die from the tumor. The oncologist said it could be benign, but I don't expect it to be so; that way I'm at least ready for the worst news." Trowa's shoulders drooped slightly for a split-second but it was enough for Heero to see he was on the edge of admitting defeat after all.

Heero surprised his friend with a brief embrace. "Trowa, I don't know the answers to these problems, but I'm certain that if we've been able to survive all of the rest of what has happened we can survive this, too. Why Quatre kept the severity of his condition secret is beyond me. What unknown force has changed Duo so drastically that even the hypnotic deprogramming isn't working? If it's the drugs, I have to wait and see what comes of the drug-rehabilitation program." He sighed. "What happened to me is not a secret at all, yet it haunts me, and probably will for some time; but I refuse to let it ruin my life."

"As for Wufei and Sally, the best I can do is go look for them. Come to think of it, we left poor Gene sleeping back at the mansion; honestly, when he said 'forever if not longer' I thought he was joking. Guess I forgot how wiped out we were after a long mission; I remember sleeping for three days straight after one. I wonder if he'd like a chance to earn the 'space cowboy' nick-name I stuck him with. For that matter, I wonder what Jack is up to? He said he'd jump at a chance to go into space sometime. I'll bet if Winner Corporation could give us the materials we need, the three of us could get a fair amount done out there looking for our lost sheep!"

"You're right, Heero, thanks a lot. Certainly all the corporate resources are at your disposal for the rescue effort, just let Rasid know what you need and I'll authorize it." Clasping his friend's arm in an unusual display of affection, Trowa looked a bit more hopeful; if there was a plan, then maybe success was attainable after all. "You take care of that end of things and I'll try to handle things here. Perhaps when everything is said and done, we will have silenced the secrets once and for all."

The two word response said it all, "Ninmu ryoukai."

Author's Notes:

1. The majority of the medical matters in this story are actually autobiographical and I wish to dedicate the story to those people who have helped me stay alive even when I didn't want to. NOTE: While it may seem I represent mental health professionals here as less than helpful, I do not actually feel that way about the majority. However, I have indeed been victim to several of them who were as inept or simply cruel as depicted here. I hold members of the medical society in high regard yet expect them to hold us as patients in high regard also, and hence my less than flattering depictions are based on real life experiences of myself and friends. Remember, the best revenge is often survival!

2. Homosexuality is not a perversion nor an illness. While the actual scientific evidence is not provided here, the author is personally aware of the ground-breaking discoveries in human genetics in 1995 which proved the connection between male homosexuality and a genetic variant thereby proving this is neither a sickness nor a perversion, but a natural genetic mutation.

3. Duo's "Seduction Sonnet" is the very beautiful Sonnet 43 by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. If you don't know this one by heart, take the time to memorize it. It obviously comes in handy for seducing Gundam pilots!

Here's all those extra important notes for you as promised!

4. Major change in Muse credits here, Calliope, Greek Muse of Epics is now taking over for the full Arc as a unit. This story, of course was more of Melpomene's influence, being the self-appointed Muse of Angst. Thalia, Muse of comedy, however, protests that anything involving Gene Starwind should give her credit, too, so here it is. Erato, another self-appointed Muse, this time of Eroctica, takes credit for lemons and limey innuendoes.

5. Guest Stars!!! Even in the darkest of moments, the "Secrets" arc will have guest stars in ther hopes of lightening the mood. As to our key guests, here we go---First our real people: Lauren (my daughter) as Laurel and my "adopted" brother as Rob Fisher the oh-so-annoying Preventer accountant! As to Ashe and Jojo, well, you'll have to bribe me with Pocky to find out! Semi-real, aka weird references from who knows where, includes credit to Gary Oldham as the ever annoying Dr. Smith from "Lost in Space", the movie. "Jim Phelps" of Mission Impossible refers to Peter Graves, the *classic* MI edition, no da!

6. Now the anime: Let's break them down by show, shall we? The main source this time around is "Those Who Hunt Elves" which brings us the oh-so-over-protective, Junpei "Jack" Ryuzouji as Heero's over-zealous cop / jailer / protector! From the same show, we also welcome Airi Komiyama as our elegant judge. Everyone's favorite "space cowboy", Gene Starwind of "Outlaw Star" returns to amuse and astound you as well. Our first psychiatrist, Yukito Tsukishiro, dropped in from "CardCaptor Sakura". Many others are recurring cameos from earlier Books in the arc, so forgive me if I don't list absolutely everyone. If you wondered just where someone came from, drop me a note and I'll clue you in. Gee, were there any others? You tell me (^_~) !

7. I've been asked to set up an alert system when something of mine is available at GW Addiction. If you wish to join them for the silliness, please feel free to join the 39+ folks already there and sign up at EnigmaFanficUpdates-subscribe@egroups.com!


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