While Duo was caring for Wufei, Heero had an equally daunting task with
The slender HeavyArms pilot was absolutely certain that all of the current
crisis was his own fault and no one else's.
"I'm just a damned pervert!" Trowa moaned softly, refusing Heero's gentle
physical reassurance if nothing else. "If I hadn't pushed Fei into sex like
that, oh gods...!" his voice trailed away as yet another bout of deep sobs
wracked the too-thin chest and Trowa sank even deeper into his misery.
Heero continued to cradle his slightly taller friend in his arms yet his
brows drew up in consternation at this pronouncement. "Nani? What do you
mean, Trowa? How, exactly, did you try to 'push' him into it? He's strong, I
don't think anyone could really 'push' Wufei into something like that under
the circumstances you were in."
The Wing pilot was going out of his way not to express his concerns about
Wufei's past. Trowa was in desperate need of reassurance not something more
"Well," Trowa leaned back and brushed one hand across his damp eyes, shoving
the sodden mass of auburn bangs out of the way before continuing, "I started
kissing him, and...¦"
"Kissing is *not* sex, Barton," Heero said, gently chastising him. The Wing
pilot was running out of ways to get through to the other teen, and if being
a bit brusque might do the job, he'd give it a try.
Trowa responded by becoming more certain of his own wrong-doing instead of
realizing the point that Heero was trying to make. "Fine, then, Yuy, I was
kissing him and, yes, that's not sex, but then I took his shirt off, andâ€¦"
"And you've done that before, dozens of times while he was recovering from
Quatre's assault," Heero pointed out with the same firm voice. "How soon does
this become incriminating?"
Emerald eyes flashed angrily as Trowa glared at his friend still unable to
see the inherent innocence in much of what he was relating. "All right, how's
this then? I stripped for him and what he saw must have terrified him, he ran
This stopped Heero cold.
He shook his head slightly and looked at Trowa as if he'd never seen him
before, and then finally said gently, "Trowa, I know you're upset and I don't
blame you, but damn it all, I've seen you naked *and* aroused and frankly,
there's nothing 'scary' about you that way!"
Heero was recalling the infamous strip poker game that had gotten so
dreadfully out of hand five months previously and while neither teen had
touched the other with anything beyond their eyes, this was true and the
recollection of the moment shocked Trowa.
The verbal slap had its desired effect, though, and Trowa calmed marginally.
He asked, "But if it wasn't that, then what was it? What made him run from
Frowning, the Wing pilot answered with a question of his own, "What was it he
yelled before he ran from the room?"
Choking, Trowa answered in a softer voice as the tears threatened to return,
"He told me not to touch him."
"*Did* you touch him, Trowa?" Heero asked gently as he realized they might
have come upon the trigger of the disastrous events.
Emerald eyes glistened with gathering moisture. "Yes," came the answer in a
"Where?" Heero suddenly wished he didn't have to complete this particular
line of questions, but there was no choice if he was to aid his suffering
As the tears finally slipped free, Trowa answered barely above a whisper,
"where i thought he wanted me to. where i wanted to. he was so beautiful, i
only wanted to touch him..." His voice trailed away as his head dropped into
his hands once more and he groaned "oh god, what have i done?"
As Heero's heart contracted in his chest, he wondered what to do and whether
it was indeed beyond his own ability to handle the situation.
//How on earth do I explain to him that these are feelings everyone goes
through their first time? How can I even hope to convince Trowa that he's not
some kind of monster? If Duo was here, he'd know how to handle this, but I'm
only a poor substitute for him and I'm totally lost.//
Feeling defeated, Heero slid forward on the bed and drew the sobbing teen
back into arms that seemed to have lost some of their nearly superhuman
strength as he struggled to shore up his friend's damaged soul.
As the Japanese boy searched his heart for another way to calm Trowa, a
slight creak in the hallway signaled someone else's arrival.
"Um, Heero?" Quatre asked quietly from the doorway. "May I come in?"
Tired cobalt eyes regarded the blond teen. "Sure, Quatre, come on in," Heero
kept one arm around Trowa as he turned towards the other pilot and said,
"How's Wufei doing? I assume you and Duo found him all right?"
Quatre glanced away nervously, "Um, well, Heero, maybe you and I should talk
about that out here in the hall? I, uh, am not too sure how much Trowa should
hear about all of this."
"No," a quiet voice interrupted as Trowa raised reddened eyes to peer at the
Sandrock pilot. "I need to know. How is Fei? Is he safe?"
"Heero?" Quatre asked uncertainly.
"Yes, Quatre," Heero nodded and patted the bed beside himself and Trowa. "No
secrets, no hiding from the truth. Come over here and sit down. Tell us both
what's going on."
Apologetic and somewhat fearful, the Arabian teen did as he was bidden and
joined the others, pausing to embrace Trowa briefly before moving back a
little to give the other pair the space they might need if Trowa took the
news he brought badly.
Taking a deep breath, Quatre began, "We found Wufei in the unused bedroom at
the end of the hall. Duo and I had to take the door off of its hinges to get
in, but we found him laying on the floor in a corner. He was naked and
shaking like a leaf. At first I thought he might be okay, but thenâ€¦" The alto
voice trailed away uncertainly as Quatre's saw that disturbing scene once
more and the Arabian teen felt afraid for the Chinese pilot all over again.
"'At first'?" Trowa asked, throat contracting.
"I'm sorry, Trowa, but when we tried to ask him if he was all right, he
wouldn't or couldn't speak." Aquamarine eyes shifted rapidly between the
other two boys and he found confusion and pain in emerald and worry mixed
with fear in cobalt.
"he won't speak?" Trowa asked in a soft voice that trembled with a new fear.
Glancing at the frightened boy he still held, Heero sighed and asked simply,
"Where is Wufei now, Quatre?"
"Duo's with him, Heero," Quatre answered with something like relief. "He was
going to get Wufei into a hot bath and see if that might calm him down. Maybe
bring him around."
Heero frowned at this odd choice of words. He wanted to know more yet was
uncertain just how to approach the issue and asked, "Was he unconscious or
something, Quatre? Do you mean he's injured?"
Before Trowa could overreact to the question, Quatre rushed to respond,
waving his hands in negation as he spoke, "No, no, nothing like that, Heero!
I meant, Wufei wouldn't respond to anything. When Duo spoke to him or even
when we wrapped him in a blanket, he never acted like he even knew we were in
the same room as he was. It was really weird."
"I'll bet," Heero responded as his mind raced.
Finally deciding to confront the issue head-on, Heero asked bluntly, "Quatre,
there's one thing I need to know right here and right now. Did Trowa hurt
The slender teen beside him stiffened and a deep pained gasp was heard, but
Heero refused to look at Trowa knowing the pain and horror he'd see in deep
Nearly frantic, Quatre rushed to answer, "No, Heero! There wasn't a mark on
Wufei that we could see! No blood, nothing."
Trowa looked like he was about to collapse and Quatre quickly moved to sit on
the opposite side of the slender teen, supporting him with an arm around his
shoulders. He added earnestly, "No, Trowa, please, it's going to be all
right. Duo's taking care of him and while none of us knows what really
happened that's made Wufei retreat into his mind like this, there's no
evidence that you did anything to hurt him. You've got to believe me!"
Heero nodded solemnly, "That's all I needed to know, thanks, Quatre."
Trembling from the emotionally draining experience, Trowa leaned gratefully
against the blond pilot and sighed. "You really think Fei's going to be okay,
Quatre? I don't know how I'll ever forgive myself for all of this, but until
he's able to talk to us again, I won't stop worrying."
"None of us will, Trowa," Quatre assured him and squeezed his shoulder
reassuringly, "But I think it'd be for the best if you got some rest, you
seem pretty wiped out."
"No," Trowa suddenly yawned, "I can't. Not until I know Fei's gonna be okay."
He yawned again and his eyes began sliding shut. Even as he was denying it,
Trowa was falling into the exhausted slumber of someone who had undergone a
traumatic experience and the other two pilots gently eased him down to lay on
the bed once more.
"Stay with him," Heero commanded quietly as he stood to walk from the room,
"I'm going to go talk to Duo about this."
Quatre glanced up from where he was gently stroking Trowa's damp bangs away
from his eyes and nodded, "Of course, Heero. Let me know what else I can do
to help, all right?"
"All right," the Japanese teen nodded. "We're all in this together, Quatre.
We're a team, remember?"
"No, you're wrong, Heero" the blond answered with a sad smile. "We *are* all
in this together but not because we're a team, but because we're a family."
An unexpected smile touched Heero's lips as he nodded again, "I stand
corrected. We are indeed a family, Quatre. Thank you."
Quatre returned the sad smile and watched as Heero walked away. Like all
families, this one came together during crises and this was easily the
greatest one that they had ever faced.
Full Author's Notes to Run at Conclusion.