Disclaimers: I don't own any of the Gundam Wing Universe. I'm not making any money off this story. It's written out of love, so please don't sue me.

Written: May-July, 2001
Overall Rating: NC-17
Overall Pairings: (3+5) (1x2/2x1) (?x5)NCS
Category: DARK Angst Yaoi/Shonen ai Friendship Rape-Memories Sap Lime AU-OOC
Enigma Story Categories: G-Boys High Adventure! & Gundam Nightmares
Warnings: DARK, angst, yaoi/shonen ai, friendship, remembrance of non-consensual sex, sap, lime, language, violence, fear, AU-OOC

Notes: The hidden gifts that Wufei discovered brought him a sense of joy at the time, but now shadows of a dark and painful past return and his world begins to shatter. Can Trowa find the strength to truly love him unconditionally and somehow keep the Chinese teen from being irrevocably destroyed?


Unconditional Gifts
Part 1

Nightfall at the pilots' temporary home at the beach had been rather pleasant and was a strange counterpoint to the pain they were all about to share.

In a large bedroom on the second floor of the beach house, Heero and Duo had spent the night in unusual peace as neither felt an overwhelming need to express their affections sexually. Leaders in both love and battle, these two had been there for their friends from the very beginning of the current situation and would not relinquish their roles as guardians for the other three Gundam pilots regardless. Yet when the challenges would appear, they would be ready to staunchly protect and defend those they loved as only the truest friends always will.

Taking the quiet room at the top of the three story house, Wufei and Trowa had gone to bed together as was their wont to do lately and were more than happy to rest, limbs intertwined through the night. Sexuality was an area their relationship had never entered into and when it did, all hell would break loose. Without three devoted friends, these two wouldn't have a prayer.

Quatre was still alone, resting in a bedroom on the second floor, but he had come to accept his current lot in life with more grace and all was as good as it could be expected to be for him. He had discovered an interest in an enemy pilot but felt there was no place for Zechs Merquise in his world or in his heart. He was wrong, but it would take time and an overwhelming desire to help his friends to discover this.

Outside the three-story beach house it was dawn and the surf rolled in crashing and hissing against the sand as it retreated. Inside, it was remarkably early for any of the five teens to be awake, but an unusual day was about to get an unusual beginning.


Trowa Barton stretched languorously and smiled at the quiet little whimper of complaint from his bedmate when he accidentally disturbed him.

"Gomen, Fei-kun," he mumbled softly, "go back to sleep."

"No," Chang Wufei rubbed the sleep from his eyes and turned a radiant smile towards the boy he adored. "If you are awake, then I wish to be awake, too. I missed you." He leaned over and kissed the emerald-eyed teen gently before snuggling closer, still in his arms.

"And I missed you, too, love," Trowa smiled gently and kissed him back, "more than you know."

Heart racing, Trowa chose this moment in time to take action on the advice that Heero Yuy had offered him while they were both on duty inside the OZ base where they had successfully located and destroyed a prototype scanner that could locate the Gundam Deathscythe despite its cloaking effect.

During the recently-completed mission, Trowa had allowed himself to become dangerously distracted by his constant thoughts and worries over the boy he adored. To help draw the slender teen back to the reality they both faced, Heero had off-handedly suggested that Trowa pursue a physical relationship with the Chinese teen. Now, pulse racing with nervous excitement, Trowa thought he was finally ready to attempt to seduce the dark-eyed beauty that had captured his heart.

One long-fingered hand came up to gently cup the bottom of Wufei's chin as Trowa tilted his head to press a deeper kiss to the willing lips of the boy who now lay partially trapped beneath his slender torso.

A soft moan of pleasure escaped as Wufei responded to the odd sensation of the tip of Trowa's tongue carefully probing and seeking permission to enter and explore the smaller boy's mouth.

Trembling with a combination of desire and fear, Wufei parted his lips and felt the slick intruder tentatively trace across his own full lower lip. It felt wet and warm and infinitely good to the inexperienced Chinese teen but the reactions that Trowa was feeling were even more intense.

Before this new relationship with Wufei, Trowa had never kissed anyone other than his sister Catherine and even that he had felt uncomfortable with. A true innocent, he had conflicting emotions as to how to go about kissing the boy he loved, but when he stopped over-analyzing the situation, it had started to come more easily to him.

Within a span of mere moments, though, the pair in the bed found themselves surrendering themselves to each other and finding pleasure in the slightest touch.

"Hmm," Trowa commented, smiling down at the boy beneath him as he pulled away to stroke the loose black silk hair out of onyx eyes that glimmered with love, "that's nice."

"Yes, it is," Wufei agreed and brought his own hands up to tangle in the soft brown hair above him, reddish highlights glinting in the early morning light. Lithe fingertips danced amongst the long bangs, mussing them playfully before the Chinese teen grew impatient and drew him down for another longer, deeper kiss.

The need to breathe interrupted their now mutual explorations of one another's mouths and they separated, gasping for breath.

"wow," Trowa commented softly, a look of awe on his face. "you amaze me, koi."

"and you amaze me, angel," His love responded, breathlessly eager for more yet afraid.

Deep inside, Wufei ruthlessly silenced the voice that cried out to stop and wait, he wasn't ready to take any great steps forwards into the realm of physical romance. There were hidden truths that would surface and destroy the happiness they sought and he should have listened to the voice, but he didn't.

//I owe him too much to stop now.//

Wufei felt his heart race a bit as Trowa's hand ghosted along his abdomen, fingers sliding up under the loose t-shirt he'd worn to bed as usual. The night before when Wufei had changed into the shirt he was wearing to relax on the deck with his friends, he'd foregone the Ace bandage on his ribs. Even though he knew they should be wrapped, he decided he just didn't care at that point, he needed to focus on what they were doing.

//This is Trowa, he won't hurt me.//

The mental words alone sent a shiver down his spine and he tried to reassure himself further.

//He loves me and I love him. I can do this, I know I can.//

With this last set of thoughts reverberating in his mind, Wufei returned the gentle caresses and it seemed as if time passed too quickly and soon the two teens lay side by side naked from the waist up.

"you're beautiful," the emerald-eyed teen breathed out softly before leaning down to press kisses against his love's chest gently. Caution was in his mind as he carefully placed fleeting touches of lips and tongue across the still bruised bronze skin, wresting a moan of pleasure from the smaller boy.

"oh gods, tro," Wufei breathed out and held himself in place against the desire to move, allowing the other boy to take his time. Unable to refrain from responding in kind, though, he eventually lifted one hand and traced his fingertips over Trowa's chest in return, brushing one tight pink nipple lightly.

A sudden hiss of breath and widened eyes were the first evidence that Trowa liked the new sensations he was being offered and Wufei smiled. His own experience was limited, but he had noticed that each time Trowa had wrapped his ribs, if he was touched this way it felt good and he wanted to return the favor.

"what're you doing to me?" Trowa asked, voice low with desire.

"loving you, I hope," Wufei answered softly, eyes shimmering with emotion.

"yes, you're doing that all right," Trowa answered as instinct took over and the slow seduction gained speed. He pressed his mouth tightly against the smaller boy's once more and allowed his own fingertips to locate and fondle the dark nipples of his Chinese love, bringing forth sweet moans which he hungrily devoured with more kisses.

The sun had barely risen in the sky when Trowa sat up and threw the covers off of their bed and onto the floor.

"I want to be able to see you, koi," the HeavyArms pilot stated firmly, his body now aching and telling him to proceed more quickly.

Wufei wriggled a bit under the intense scrutiny of the taller teen and allowed the conflicting emotions to flow through and then away from him as he decided that he rather enjoyed the look of desire in Trowa's eyes. He felt himself hardening and it was a pleasantly confusing ache. Thoughts and fears of a time past threatened to ruin the moment, but Trowa's gentle kisses and touches had worked magic on Wufei and he wanted to find pleasure this way despite the memories.

Playfully, Wufei slid his hands down his love's body and answered, "It is rather pleasant to see so much of you, as well, love."

"Really?" Trowa teased, moving away from Wufei's hands slightly, "Then maybe you won't mind seeing even more of me, hmm?"

Trembling inexperienced fingers slid down to the waistband of the sweatpants Trowa had worn to bed and he slid them off of his hips, exposing a pair of silk boxers that made Wufei's eyes widen slightly.

"Black?" the Chinese teen asked incredulously, his voice almost squeaking as he asked again, "You wear *black* boxers, Tro?"

"Why not, lover?" The taller teen smiled as he ran one hand down the side of Wufei's face. In an unexpectedly smooth, seductive voice he added, "It's the color of your eyes."

"Oh my!"

The high pitched response brought a chuckle to Trowa's lips. "Well, if that's a problem, love, let me get rid of them for you." He teasingly began to push them off as well, but stopped when bronze hands firmly clasped over his own with lightning speed.

"Don't! Not yet," Wufei begged. His pulse was racing and he was having extreme difficulty controlling his reactions, but knew that if things went much faster, he'd never have even a remote chance of going through with what his love so obviously wanted.

Forcing himself to breathe more slowly, the Chinese boy moved his hands in place to caress the slender hips through the silk and was rewarded for his efforts with a moan of pleasure. "Take your time, my love, please?" He looked imploringly at the taller teen hoping to conceal his growing fear and did so only too well.

Completely oblivious to the smaller boy's distress, Trowa smiled a darkly desirous smile and returned to caressing Wufei's torso with slow gentle strokes of one hand, allowing himself plenty of time to toy with the sensitive nipples. His efforts were rewarded with a series of irresistible moans as Wufei rapidly became breathless from the stimulation.

In his mind, though, Wufei was trapped in a downward spiral that was taking him away from Trowa and back to a place and time he wanted to forget yet never could. The coastal sunlight that streamed in between the drapes seemed to be darkening for the confused pilot and Wufei shivered as memories of a cold German city tried valiantly to yank him under.

Shaking off the recollections in favor of focusing on Trowa, Wufei forced himself to smile at the other teen as he lifted one hand to caress a silken cheek, offering quietly, "At least, let me match you so far. I may not wear emerald boxers to match your eyes, but, well," he glanced away suddenly embarrassed by his own forwardness.

Feeling his heart racing, Trowa encouraged him, "Yes? How do you wish to 'match me', koi?"

"Well," Wufei kept his eyes averted as he moved his own hands to the waistband of the shorts he'd worn to bed and began to try to slip them off as sensually as Trowa had done for him. In his fear and confusion, though, his thumbs got tangled in the elastic of his own boxers and they came off along with the shorts.

"Oh my! That was not supposed to happen!" Wufei gasped and wanted desperately to pull the white cloth back into place but was forestalled by the breathless exclamation of the boy who leaned over him somewhat.

"dearest lord," Trowa whispered in a voice like that of a man lost in prayer, "you're even more beautiful this way than i had dared to hope for!"

Feeling trapped in ways he couldn't cope with, Wufei tried to keep from bolting from where he lay naked and exposed before the other teen's eyes.

Forcing down the rising tide of adrenaline that demanded he try to escape, the ShenLong pilot successfully kept control long enough to slip the shorts and boxers off of his feet and let them drop onto the floor beside the bed.

As Trowa's hand came towards the newly revealed portions of Wufei's body, the smaller teen reached out to stop him, clasping one hand around his wrist and shaking his head, begging with his eyes. "Please, not yet, Trowa, please?"

Sadly, Trowa missed the fact that Wufei had spoken his full name or he might have realized something was terribly wrong. Understandably, the entranced youth was lost in the tumult of his first sexual encounter and he just smiled and asked, "Did you want me to 'match' you now, koi? Is that what you want, Fei-kun?"

Biting at his lip in nervousness as his last reserves of calm vanished, Wufei mutely nodded without realizing what he was agreeing to. He could hear the pounding of his blood in his ears and the screaming in his soul to force this to stop as Wufei repeated reassurances over and over to himself.

//This is Trowa, he won't hurt me! This is *Trowa* not *him*!!!//

Even as Wufei struggled mentally to rectify what his irrational fears were telling him and what his heart truly wanted, the slender teen beside him was slipping out of the black silk boxers exposing himself with a shy smile that went unnoticed.

//Trowa would never hurt me! Oh gods, please, let the memories stop! This is TROWA, he WON'T hurt me!!!//

"Is this better?" Trowa asked, failing to break through Wufei's internal mantra. He took the wide-eyed look he received in return as encouragement and once more reached out to stroke his lover's length.

Despite the fear, despite the internal war he was involved in, Wufei was indeed aroused and it was a perfectly honest mistake for Trowa to have made to have assumed that his actions were desired by the smaller boy.

As a warm hand came down to gently stroke Wufei's erection, something horrifying occurred.

Onyx eyes widened with remembered terror as shards of memory hit the Chinese teen hard and fast even as the soft skin of Trowa's hand surrounded him lovingly. Bits of images pierced his heart and Wufei's mind shattered in that moment.


Searing pain.

A feeling of loss greater than anything imaginable.

Trapped in the prison of his memories and thoughts, Wufei reacted with all the fear and horror that he had felt four and a half months prior.

"NO!!!" Wufei screamed as he pushed Trowa away with nearly inhuman strength. The emerald-eyed teen froze, stunned as the other boy stumbled to his feet shouting, "DON'T TOUCH ME!!!"

Naked and trembling, Wufei ran from the room blinded to all but the horror in his mind. He rushed into the unoccupied fourth bedroom at the end of the hallway and slammed the door behind him unwittingly locking it at the same time.


The noise of his shouts combined with the explosive sound of a door being slammed shut awoke the other three teens in the beach house.

"What the hell was that?" Duo asked in confusion.

Quatre shook blond hair out of his eyes as he gasped, "Allah! Was that Wufei? What's happened now?"

Heero, however, was out of bed and headed towards the stairs for the third floor, gun in hand and a firestorm of emotions in his heart. He fervently hoped that the weapon wasn't needed but he wasn't willing to face an unknown crisis without it, old habits die hard.

His mind lost and his soul in torment, Wufei crumpled into a corner of the sunlit room and lay there, naked, frightened, and totally unaware of the damage he had just wrought.

Full Author's Notes to Run at Conclusion.

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