Disclaimers: The people who own the rights to Gundam Wing would never approve of what I do here, so obviously I don't own it. This is for catharsis and not money, so please don't sue me since I don't even own my delusions, they own me.

Written: December, 2000 - March, 2001
Overall Rating: R
Pairings: (1x2) [(3x5)+(4x5)+(4x3)]
Category: Angst Yaoi Mind-control Emotional-duress Violence
Enigma Story Category: Gundam Nightmares
Warnings: Angst, yaoi, mind-control, emotional-duress, violence, blood, illusions of death, slightly bastard Quatre, {just label it AU-OOC if you can't cope}

NOTES: Things are very dark when Heero is brainwashed by OZ into thinking his lover and teammates are dead at the hands of Wufei. What will the Perfect Soldier do when he is consumed by grief and how can an injured Duo cope? Meanwhile, Quatre's actions are driving Wufei to distraction and Trowa is desperate for a solution. If the pilots can survive, will they be able to build a future worth living in?

//someone's thoughts//

False Memories
Part 2

The three OZ research scientists returned gleefully to their test subject after being notified that Heero had awakened.

"Did they complete repairs on his Gundam?" Alpha asked as he released the locking mechanism on the doors. He added with smug pride, "The artificial memories we implanted should have been enough to convince him he is now utterly alone in this war. I'm certain that he would find it impossible to fight on against us if he thinks he is all alone now."

"Yesss," Beta smiled, "when we have finished with him, he should be able to pilot that machine quite well and do our bidding!"

"I still think it is a mistake to let him have it back," Gamma frowned. "If something goes wrong we are giving him too much power."

Bah!" Alpha remarked, "What could go wrong?"

What could go wrong? When it involved Heero Yuy? Everything.


"How bad is it?" The passenger in the dark clothes and sunglasses with a large hat pulled low over his eyes asked the nervous blond sitting next to him. Quatre had sweet-talked a stewardess into letting them have three seats in a row together on the flight, and it had paid off in keeping Duo's nervousness under control for the most part. But as they had gotten physically closer to Australia, the Deathscythe pilot had grown more agitated.

Quatre had been sensing distress through his uchuu no kokoro for the last hour or so. They now knew something had happened to Heero but the good news was that if there was pain, then there was life. The Sandrock pilot shook his head, unable to speak. The quiet brunette sitting next to him spoke for him. "I believe it's severe but it's not physical pain that Quatre is perceiving." [1]

Duo stared at Trowa as his mind processed this new information. He tried to raise his hand to swipe a strand of hair away, then remembered the telltale bandages he was concealing and left his broken arm where it was. Intense moments passed as they waited for Quatre to gets his voice back.

"H-h-he is no longer there!" Quatre suddenly exclaimed, aquamarine eyes now wide with fear, frightening the pilots on either side of him.

"He's dead?" Trowa asked as Duo went pale.

"No, I don't think so," Quatre remarked puzzled. "I can sense that he lives, but it's as if he isn't himself any more. I don't know how to explain it."

"Damn it!" Duo slammed his good hand into the seat. "Why did I make it out of there and he didn't? Why?!?!"

"Quiet down, Duo," Quatre insisted. "We can't afford to stand out here! Don't give up hope, he's still alive, let's just get there and find out what's happened."

"All right," the American snarled, "but I swear I'll kill every last one of those bastards if he dies because of them!"

"Of course they'll die," Trowa agreed watching his own lover carefully for further signs of distress, "You aren't the only one who wants that."

"Good," he muttered darkly.

What Duo was not aware of was that Trowa was worried for Wufei. They couldn't even contact him now, and Trowa fervently hoped the dark-eyed boy would be patient for once. He was also glad that Wufei had no idea what Quatre was perceiving, otherwise he was quite certain there would be *two* pilots to fear for while they were trapped thousands of feet in mid-air.

//Fei, wait for me to get there this time, please! I know you always think you can handle everything yourself, but hold on, you need back-up if nothing else.//

Emerald eyes sank shut as the slender teen considered things further. Trowa had hoped that Quatre would be busy caring for Duo while he and Wufei together took care of whatever had gone so terribly wrong with Heero, but that was too much to ask for at this point. If Heero was no longer himself, as Quatre had detected, then they might be facing *him* in a fight and that would take all four of the other pilots to even have a chance of keeping the Japanese boy alive after open combat.


The Gundam ShenLong approached the Sydney Australia OZ medical base cautiously, as an exhausted Chang Wufei sought a suitable hiding spot for the huge machine.

He knew the others would arrive within a few hours and as a team they would see about rescuing their missing member. But for now, he needed to get some badly needed sleep since he had spent 36 hours straight island-hopping down the pan-pacific chains to get to Sydney without the use of a carrier. In his exhaustion, he failed to note the distant presence of a familiar white and blue mobile suit flanked by ground forces troops guarding it. If he had noticed it he might have wondered why OZ had gone to the trouble of bringing it there from South America, but as it was, this was a moot point.

Wufei was able to conceal his Gundam roughly fifteen kilometers from the base, relatively close to the objective he himself had identified after hacking into the OZ database system.

Jumping down easily, he was outfitted in simple street clothes for a change, making sure there was nothing that would indicate he was terribly out of place. Taking the black shooting range cap his lovers had given him after a particularly memorable day of target practice out of his back pocket, he pulled it on and headed for the airport to await the others. [2]

A half-smile graced his face as he realized he would see Trowa again for the first time in too long as well as Quatre whom he had seen only briefly when the blond took over with Duo and he himself had headed out. There had been no opportunity to address the trio's current difficulties, but those took a lower priority to insuring Heero's safe return.

Unbidden, a few suggestions of places for the three of them to get reacquainted popped into his thoughts. A few of the islands he had passed through seemed like excellent places for a bit of much needed R&R as well as sorting things out before Trowa was as badly effected as Wufei himself was now.

The Chinese teen arrived without incident and found his way to the waiting area. After grabbing a much needed meal, he slumped into one of the notoriously uncomfortable chairs to wait. Falling into a light slumber, his dreams were filled with painful images.

Awakening briefly, Wufei cursed his mind for distracting him with memories of when he had gone to rescue Trowa, half-blind with rage at OZ when he feared the tall pilot had been sexually assaulted based on some of Quatre's psychic impressions. In fact, by the time the dark-eyed boy had gotten to Trowa's cell, it was Wufei who was bleeding and injured, but the pair had won free just the same through sheer determination.

Wufei never once confronted Quatre with the actual reason he had been angry enough to make the mistakes he had, he felt that the young Arab worried too much as it was.

The sad part was that Quatre had been perceiving Trowa's memories from the dark days of abuse he suffered at the hands of a woman the emerald-eyed boy had trusted unwisely. Trowa never told them about any of this since it had happened months before the night he and Wufei confirmed their mutual attraction. The Chinese boy had known his own sexual preference for some time and he had been deeply gratified to discover that the boy he desired wanted him, too, the pleasures of a new love helping Trowa forget the emotional scars of the past.

The seemingly mismatched pair of the tallest and shortest of the Gundam pilots had been extremely happy together. Even Heero Yuy, usually clueless about such things, had remarked that Wufei had lightened up and Trowa seemed more confident once they were an established couple.

The dreams brought to Wufei's over-tired mind how the couple had become a trio.

Bringing the blond into the bed he shared with Trowa had been a decision made predominantly due to compassion. Quatre seemed to feel lonely being the only Gundam pilot who slept alone and his unhappiness effected him deeply. The emotional burden of their role in the war also weighed heavily on the young Arab, and neither Wufei nor Trowa could stand to see him suffer.

One night, after one of the notorious dinner-table seductions Duo pulled on Heero had affected them all a little too strongly, Trowa had guided the young blond to their room where Wufei, a bottle of wine, and a night of kindness awaited. By dawn, they had forged a new relationship but it was never evenly balanced, and now it was all weighing on Wufei's mind too strongly. He missed the days when he and Trowa had been alone, but he felt that all the three of them needed was time alone to work things out.

Oddly, from a sexual standpoint, the trio had never found a mutually satisfying way to share their passions at the same time. Wufei had accepted a physically submissive role to both youths, yet Quatre's appetite was so excessive that Trowa had gotten tired of even trying to participate fully at all times.

It had wounded Wufei deeply when he realized his tall lover was foregoing being with him in the hopes of sparing the smaller boy from physical exhaustion, yet the Chinese teen would not deny the insatiable blond in the hopes of granting the boy some peace. Often, Wufei would skip breakfast to try to sleep a bit more, but as long as Trowa left their bed whenever Quatre demanded attention, Wufei simply could not rest well at all. On occasion, Trowa would allow himself to be seduced by the blond and Quatre was always far more considerate to the brunette than he was to Wufei.

It was dysfunctional and Trowa wanted it changed, but there had been no solutions so far.

With a sad sigh, Wufei fell back asleep wishing things were not so difficult for them all, leaving the oriental teen draped over a chair in the airport lounge like any other weary traveler might be. A little sleep and a meal were simply not enough to reverse Wufei's chronic exhaustion, but it was better than nothing.


In an isolated room, three arrogant men unwittingly faced their deaths without ever even knowing it. The pilot of Wing Gundam had been freed of his restraints and allowed to sit up unencumbered as they asked questions they felt they knew all the answers to.

"Do you know who you are?" Alpha asked.

Heero Yuy refused to answer.

"Do you know where you are?" Beta asked.

Heero Yuy refused to answer.

"Do you know what has happened?" Gamma asked.

Finally, Heero Yuy answered, but in a way they were not prepared for. Breaking out of what had appeared to be a stupor, the young man burst into action and killed all three with his bare hands. Then, with a rage born of grief, he set about destroying an entire OZ base single-handedly.

Within an hour, explosions found their way free to light up the Australian sky.

Authors Notes:

[1] Quatre's uchuu no kokoro is his "space heart", the unusual psychic gift which allows him to share the other pilot's feelings, both emotional and physical. There are limits to what this can do, but depending on the fic and the writer, it varies.

[2] The image for this can be seen at Sweet&Sweet, the Fei-Tro shrine which is at: Sweet&Sweet You can enjoy seeing the color Dj cover image that inspired this line here After scoping out *this* image, take a few minutes to enjoy the fabulous new fanart by the talented Yidash Lee in the "Visions of Love" Gallery! There are more fics coming from me based on things from this gallery, so feel free to pick one out and suggest it to me for inspiration, ne?

on to part 3

back to fiction

back to enigma fiction

back home