I showed Duo to one of the guest rooms when we got back. He said he was going to have a shower and then sleep, even though it was already nearly half past five. I nodded my acknowledgment and left him to it, letting my mind wander as I went to take my own shower. What would happen, I found myself wondering, with the end of the summit? I couldn't help but feel quite grim about our failure to pin down the would-be criminals. I wondered if, without a definite target such as the summit to focus on, our attempts to solve the affair would be so much more directionless. But I had thought about that before. I knew it would be difficult; but I had faced bigger challenges before. Duo had reminded me of that. My thoughts turned willingly to him again: what would it be like having to act the same as usual around Relena, while all the time being acutely aware of Duo's presence? Worrying about his reckless attitude to our relationship – he had always made it clear he never really cared what people thought, and that seemingly extended even as far as Relena...
I turned off the shower and stepped out. I dried and dressed again: I didn't feel like going to bed, but maybe I would rest for a while –
The beep of my phone cut off my train of thought. A text message? Who would be sending me a text message at 6 in the morning? Not to mention the fact that no-one sent me text messages anyway: they were for kids who couldn't afford to make real phone calls. Curious, I looked.
`i cant sleep'
I suddenly felt warm. Duo, only a few rooms away... He was teasing.
There was nothing I could do but retrace my steps down the hallway to the room I'd left him in, and open the door, and go in.
He was naked. Sitting against the headboard, smiling right at me.
What could I do?
I stalked silently to the bed, kneeling on it and crawling up so I was poised on all fours over him, so close I couldn't focus properly. We stared at each other, his lips still parted in that sly smile, until he tilted his head back just a little and brought his mouth to mine.
We kissed fiercely, lips moving almost as if we were trying to catch each other out, but failing – we knew each other too well, following each other perfectly.
I felt like I was on fire.
After hot minutes we parted, gasping, still so close we were sharing breath. His eyes were fixed on mine, he looked... dangerous but I couldn't look away...
"C'mon Heero..." his tone was almost pleading and his hands feverishly fumbled with the buttons of my shirt, "we've done enough now..." kissing me between words. "You can cut the crap about betraying Relena" kiss, he was almost to my waist, untucking my shirt "'cos we both know that even if she walked through that door right now you'd be about as bothered as I would be..." My shirt slid down my shoulders. The words rang true, I knew he was right. I couldn't claim to care about Relena's feelings if I didn't even care whether she knew I was having an affair...
"What is it then, Heero? Why can't you...?"
Yes, why did I still hang onto my shackles? Was I just being a martyr? No... But still...
I kissed him again, desperately, but I knew I wouldn't do it, even now: I still clung to that mockery of loyalty. I shook my head as I pulled away, kneeling up and pulling my shirt back on, fastening a button to keep it in place.
His eyes flashed with something, and I felt a sharp pang...
"Please Heero..." Wheedling...
I shook my head again, hating myself.
"Please..." My eyes followed inevitably as his own hand trailed down...
I felt a sharp, shocking spear of desire as he touched himself, his eyes half-lidded for a moment before he looked back at me.
He was electricity, I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. So hot where our bodies touched.
"God, Heero, I've wanted you for so long..."
I knew it, I knew it, and I knew I'd wanted him so much too... I watched him, mesmerised; nothing else existed for me in that moment besides him and me. He seemed content for me to watch, and I was happy to; my gaze lingered on his stroking hand for several moments before I looked up, to his face... Our eyes met and when he smiled I felt a shiver run up my spine: I was certain I was only resisting because I was frozen in place. He was the most sensual thing I had ever seen in my life, and my breath caught in my throat.
His hand moved faster. My eyes flicked back to watch. It was new to me, seeing another man like this... but it was like looking in a mirror and seeing what I felt reflected back at me. And he was beautiful, in a way I had never even thought of before I'd met him. Somehow, I thought, and not for the first time, Duo had shown me things inside myself that it had never occurred to me to look for.
I touched his bare chest, just lightly, tasting his skin through my own. I ran my finger down his side and he moaned in pleasure: it was my name, and I was burning up in him.
I put my other hand to his other side, feeling him tremble just a little under my touch. He felt hot, even with his skin exposed... I could sense him getting closer. Suddenly he grabbed my hand with his free one, lacing our fingers together: a simple gesture but I felt the link between us just that bit more. I heard my name from his lips again; my hand reached his hip; and then his body shuddered as he climaxed in his hand and onto his stomach, his other hand gripping mine so hard his nails dug into my skin.
I could practically feel what he was feeling as his breathing began to slow again and his body calmed. We looked at each other; I was still caught up in him. He smiled at me, and squeezed my hand, and I slowly moved to lie down next to him on my side.
He turned his upper body, leaned in and kissed me softly on the mouth. "I'm sorry."
I shook my head briefly against the pillow, and kissed him again, a little more fiercely, in reply.
He seemed to understand that he didn't need to apologise to me for anything, and grinned at me, surreptitiously slipping his hand from where it was still linked with mine and lightly stroking me with it... I closed my eyes briefly in pleasure, and when I reopened them he was still smiling broadly at me. "What about you?" He squeezed me just slightly through my clothes.
I reached down and stopped his hand, wrapping it in mine again. "Don't worry about it." I was satisfied watching him.
He looked surprised, but only kissed me lightly in response. "Well, if you're sure." We were quiet for a few moments before he chuckled. "I do feel like I could go to sleep now. But" he sighed "now I need to get washed." He shifted beside me and I sat up, still holding his hand.
"Do me a favour and pass me a tissue, would you?"
I snorted and reached for the box on my side of the bed, passing him it.
There seemed to be no need to discuss what had just happened between us – it seemed pointless to dissect something that felt so... natural; and I think my feelings were as clear to Duo as his were to me. There was no need for either of us to jar the atmosphere between us.
But, of course... "I should go, I suppose."
Duo nodded. "I guess." He finished cleaning himself up and followed me as I stood. "Is Miss Peacecraft back yet?"
It took me a moment to get back into that frame of mine. Being with Duo had even more than usual distracted me, predictably enough. "I don't know."
Duo put his arms around my waist from the side. "You'd better go find out." He kissed my neck. "I'll see you soon." He grinned. "It's good to know you're just down the hall if I need you." He gave me one last kiss to the mouth, lingering and sweet, then pulled away. "Get some rest. That's what I'm gonna do, and then maybe I'll come and find you." He smiled at me and I nodded, leaving the room as he headed for the bathroom of the suite.
I was almost surprised to see everything the same as when I had last seen it, and when I looked out of the window, I could see Relena's car in the drive... That answered Duo's question. I half-wondered how long she'd been back, whether it had been an actual possibility that Relena could have walked in and caught us...
I wondered about that. I knew the thought should make me feel *something*, guilt, nervousness, whatever... but far from that, I actually felt a flicker of excitement. It was wrong of me, I knew in my head... but I couldn't help myself. If she did find us together, it occurred to me, it might solve a lot of problems... I felt so callous: I claimed to not want to betray my wife, but how could I claim I didn't want to hurt her, if I almost wanted her to find out my secret just so I didn't have to take the initiative... I couldn't imagine how she would react – I didn't want to. But still... I realised, with a cold feeling inside, that even if she found out... I still couldn't leave her... The thought left a bitter taste. How could I use Duo like this? My escape from the real world, my real life, my very real wife and job... It was unfair: how long could I expect him to wait? But... Duo had said he wasn't giving up. I knew he meant it. So... for now, I just had to walk a fine line; until Relena realised that she didn't need me like she thought she did after all.
I could only hope she would.