The Eyes Have It
Part 6b - Yaoi Ending
by Dyna Dee
At approximately one-forty five a.m., I find myself standing in the shadows near the back door of the Winner mansion, just outside the kitchen. I have my orders; to stay here and guard the exit for their retreat.
I check my watch, again. It's been seven minutes. Heero estimated it might take six to ten minutes, depending on whether or not Quatre was in the room they suspected he would be, and if their path was clear, no guards or servants keeping watch.
The gun I hold in my hand isn't the some one I'd handled earlier. This gun is larger, a dart gun with a strong sedative that causes an instant reaction once it hits a target. We couldn't risk hurting any of the people Quatre cared for, even though they are responsible for kidnaping him and erasing his memories and mine.
Hearing a slight noise to my right, I melt further into the shadows of the mansion's walls. The sound didn't come from the inside, but from around the corner. Evidently, someone didn't drink his tea tonight.
I press myself against the wall. The flower bushes that border the house are not very big and won't hide me, so I crouch down into a ball next to one and put my head down, hoping to hide my lily-white face. I force myself not to look up as I hear quiet footfalls approaching.
'I am not visible, I am not visible.' I repeat over and over to myself, wishing it to be true.
"Hey there!" a deep voice calls out and I know I'm caught. I instantly spring to my feet, my arms holding out the dart gun, but I freeze as I hear the metal click of a release on a gun behind the bright light that is flashing into my face, blinding me.
"Put it down." I'm commanded by the deep voice. Damn!
There's a moment of silence as I lower my weapon, but only slightly.
"Master Duo?" Whoever is behind the light knows me.
"Who are you?" I ask, not that I'll remember him.
"Abdul." He replies. "Rashid's cousin. Do you remember me?" he asks.
"Sorry, Abdul." I shake my head. "OZ wiped my memory. I can't remember you because I don't even remember myself." I tell him.
Another moment passes quietly.
"Put your gun down, Master Duo." he says gently. "We are friends and have fought side by side on Earth. There is no need for a weapon among friends." I note a touch of sadness in his voice as he, too, lowers his gun.
I let out the breath I'd been hold, sighing with relief. He lowers the flashlight beam taking the bright light out of my eyes, I can almost see to make out his features. I'm not surprised that they're not familiar
"It's the same with Master Quatre." he says almost despondently. "They took his memory and he doesn't remember the war, the Maguanacs, nor his gundam. His father has forbidden us from saying anything about any aspect of the war." he explains, then looks at me curiously. "Why are you here?"
Now I have to decide whether to lie or not, not knowing how deep this friendship is that he spoke of.
"I'm here to see Quatre." I reply truthfully. "I understand were captured together and I'm hoping that seeing him will trigger my memory of him and my past."
I can see his face in the faint glow of the flashlight, and can see that he's mulling over in his mind what I've told him, so I continue on. "I think the colonies need the both of us to remember why and how we fight." I tell him.
I knew I'd said the right thing when I saw his nod of agreement, he didn't approve of what had been done to his young master. Just then the sound of the door opening startled both of us. Abdul's flashlight and gun went from pointing to the ground to the door. In the light's beam we see Heero, as point, with his gun in hand aimed on the bearer of the light.
"No, Abdul, Heero, don't!" I whispered loudly and throw myself between them, facing Abdul. The light blinding me once again.
"What's going on?" Abdul asks harshly, turning instantly from friend to soldier.
"We're taking Quatre with us." I tell him.
"I... I can't let you do that." he says aghast, but we all hear the hesitation in his voice.
"Abdul, listen." I entreat him urgently. "We're just going to tell him the truth, then let him choose." I motion behind me. "That's what they did for me." I tell him. "He may not remember, and he could can to come back. If he does, we'll let him."
The tall man hesitated, uncertainty written on his face and in his posture. Heero steps out of the door, followed by Trowa with a blanketed figure slung over his shoulder. Wufei brings up the rear.
"Please Abdul." I take a step closer, entreating him. "He's our friend. We'll keep him safe, I promise. It has to be better than taking away his choices and passion, to live in a prefabricated, gilded cage."
The air is still as we wait for the Maguanac to make his decision. I can feel Heero tensing to move. Then to my relief, Abdul nods.
"Very well." he says softly. "Go, and go quickly."
I smile my gratitude then feel my arm firmly clasped and find myself roughly jerked out of the flashlight's beam. Heero is walking fast, dragging me along by his firm grip on my arm.
Our movements after that seemed blurred after that, and I'm not fully aware of how we made it out of there, but shortly after were entering the shuttle. I was given the task of staying with the slumbering blond while the others finagled our way out of the colony. The shuttle was fitted with a luxurious interior, including bedrooms and a small kitchen. Quatre was placed near the center of a large, king-size bed and onto his side. I sit in a chair next to him, anxiously studying the angelic face of my vision in full, alive-and-breathing detail, hardly believing I was seeing the same face that I'd envisioned in my dreams and in my mind for weeks now.
Now that we are safely on board the shuttle and things have quieted down, the surge of adrenaline I'd experienced during the rescue has left me drained. I now feel extremely tired and can't resist the urge to climb up on the soft bed. I lay close to, but not touching, the other boy. Staring at his closed eyes, I mentally will him to open them, somehow believing that my past lay within their depths. I feel the engines thrumming to life and I close my eyes. Oddly I feel safe and secure in the knowledge that the others will see us safely out of L-4. Relief over having Blue Eyes here calms me into slumber.
When I awake after some unknown amount of time, it's with the comfort of arms encircling me. I know without a doubt that it's Heero who has guarded my sleep. I slowly open my eyes to see the slight blond boy before me, still sleeping. Behind him, I see the upturned shoulder of Trowa, his hand is resting in a possessive manner on Blue Eye's waist.
Not being able to resist the impulse, I reach my hand up to touch the closed, delicate lids of the eyes I've seen in my mind. They flutter at my touch and I quickly pull my hand away. Holding my breath expectantly, I see his eye lids slowly open, sluggish from the drugs in his system. My breath catches as his large blue eyes focus on me, on my eyes. He blinks several times, then surprisingly, I feel his hand on my face. He touches it gently, his fingers ghosting over my features until once again our eyes lock. "Remember." we both mouth silently at the same time.
I gasp and throw my hands up to clutch my head as memories and pain burst through it. In my mind I see Quatre and I captured. He had been wounded during the mission, and his injuries impeded our escape, and we were captured. During that first night of captivity, we were moved to three different locations and heavily guarded. We finally ended up in what looked like a bare-bones hospital cell. Both of us were stripped, deloused, searched, and put into a hospital gown. I watched intently as a doctor came in and efficiently dealt with Quatre's injuries. We were allowed a day to rest before the nightmare began. They took me first, heavily guarded and cuffed to another room. I futility fought as they lifted me onto a padded examination table and strapped me down. I yelled and cursed at them in frustration as the soldiers backed off and a group of men in white coats approached me. I assumed they were some kind of doctors and watched as one prepared a syringe and injected a serum into my arm.
"We're going to turn you into a nice, sedate, and safe citizen 02." he smiled smugly at me as he pulled the needle out of my arm.
"What are you doing to me? What was that?" I growled out between my gritted teeth.
"You've just been injected with a new serum that will make you forget who you are and what you've been doing." he replied calmly as if he were discussing the weather. He then bent over, coming closer to me to study my eyes, his glasses slipped down the bridge of his nose so that he looked at me over the top rim. He continued on in a manner of instruction in a monotone voice. "This serum affects the part of the brain having to do with memories. It will take some time, but after today, you won't remember what we have said or how you came to be here. By the end of your treatments, you'll be who and what we want you to be." I think the look of horror on my face was evident, but he ignored it and continued. "04, or the Winner heir as we've been told, will be the good little heir his father always wanted. Indeed, he is paying a colony's fortune for this procedure to be performed on his son so that he'll leave the war behind and return to his responsibilities as the heir of the Winner dynasty. You my friend" he smirked at me, "just so happen to be the happy recipient of Mr. Winner's generosity. That, and the fact that he wants to make sure that the procedure is tried on someone else similar to his son's age and size to prove that it is physically harmless, that his boy will be returned unharmed."
"I'm the guinea pig." I conclude sleepily as the drug takes over my body.
At that point, my memory skips forward to the point of waking up, confused and frightened at not remembering what was happening. Quatre tried to comfort me, but he didn't know what they were doing either and I just couldn't remember. They left him alone while his wounds healed, yet took me day after day for treatment. The memory came of Quatre's realization of what was happening to me, that I was forgetting large pieces of our past, the war, mission, schools, our friends, our camaraderie, and most importantly, the one person I needed more than air itself. We cried together and he told me his suspicions, trying to help me come to terms with my growing fear and loss of self.
We were informed by the doctors that Quatre was well enough for his treatments to begin, that we should say our goodbys as we would be separated in the morning.
That night, as in previous nights, Quatre came to my bed and climbed under the covers with me and held me close. At this point, I hardly remembered him or the others. My past was being stripped from me. He cupped my face and spoke to me again of our time together, of our friends and pasts. He whispered to me of my great love for Heero, and promised me that he would come for us. We stared into each others eyes. "Remember me, Duo." he whispered urgently. "Don't forget my eyes, our cause, our friendship. Remember....remember." I repeated the words back, trying desperately to ingrain his eyes into my soul. I lodged them into my earliest memories, hoping to hide them in the past. Somehow, I think Quatre psychically implanted the image of his eyes in me.
The pain in my head is now almost unbearable, and I dimly think I can hear myself cry out as the memories come washing over me and peel away the layers of impeding blocks. Waves of visual memories of my life are revealed and remembered. I see my friends, battles, death, blood, laughter, warmth, music and dancing. I see Heero and I as we struggled with our feelings for each other, of our lips crushed against each other as well as our bodies pressed together in a lover's embrace. The memories and pain come, some in detail, some glossed over until something sharp stabs into my arm. Slowly my body and mind begin to relax, the memories slow. The last dream-like vision is of me standing with my gun in my hand, pointing it at Heero who is threatening a girl in a blue dress. Relena. I shot him, not once, but twice, and then dove into the water to retrieve his body, floating face down. It was at that point that my mind let go, accepted the memories it had received, and shut down.
Awareness of my surroundings returned. I was curled up tightly, my forehead resting on my upraised knees and my arms are wrapped around my aching head. I'm trembling, my whole body shakes and by breath is coming in quick hitches and gasps.
"The sedative seems to be taking affect." Trowa's voice states calmly. I feel a warm body encircle me.
"It's okay, Duo. Calm down now. We're here." Heero's voice is wonderfully comforting and I realize with my returned memory just how welcome it is. He rubs my back soothingly, and the trembling lessens at his touch. Feeling heavy and lethargic, I slowly and with effort raise my head and force my eyes open. Quatre is still resting peacefully across from me and looks to be asleep again.
"You okay?" Heero asks, his voice is soft, full of concern and close to my ear. I can see Trowa as he comes into view on Quatre's side of the bed. He smiles at me, but his eyes reveal his worry.
I try to speak, but can't seem to find my voice, so I give a barely perceptible nod.
Strong arms pull me close against a firm chest. "Maybe you should move Quatre so Duo doesn't have another episode." Heero suggests quietly to Trowa.
I reach out my hand to weakly grab hold of my blond friend's arm, letting the others know not to move him. Somehow knowing he is beside me is reassuring. I know that my returning memories are painful, physically and mentally. If it's going to be as painful for him as it has been for me, Quatre will need all the support and comfort we can give him. I'll be there for him, as he was for me when my memories were being taken and I was frightened. Our friendship was strengthened by his love and concern for me when I could hardly remember who he was. I remember it all now, and I'll never forget it again.
With no small effort, I push myself back and Heero adjusts accordingly, sitting up so that I can fall onto my back and look up at him, into his worried face, his anxious eyes. I can now read the emotions that had confused or eluded me while my memory was gone. I can see he is in soldier mode, dampening his emotions, waiting to analyze and adjust to the situation as it continues to change. Reaching my hand up, I brush the dark brown hair from his eyes, and recognize a glimmer of hope flash in them. The moisture in my own eyes thickens and he becomes blurred above me as I realize what I almost lost.
"Koi." I whisper emotionally.
If I live to be one hundred and fifty years old, I will never forget the transformation I see happen on Hero's face. It's instantaneous and dramatic as the barriers that he'd erected around his emotions, from the moment I laid eyes on him in my dorm room in Lyon, lowers completely and the perfect soldier disappears. Relief, love, and joy radiate from his smile and his beautiful eyes.
He slowly lowers his chest to fit his body closely against mine, making me feel protected and safe, and then he gently kisses me, his lips questing across mine with such gentleness that I feel compelled to reach up with trembling hands and pull him down closer, forcing him to kiss me harder, deeper, allowing my longing and passion for him to be communicated by my own desperate return of his kiss. As we break to catch a breath, his turns his face so that his cheek is against mine, bringing his lips to my ear as he begins to whisper a soft stream of words, held back from the moment he'd found me, that were meant for me alone to hear, not Michel, the stranger he had found, but me, Duo. Heero's Duo. And slowly, gently, I'm eased into the sleepy, peaceful realm that his words of love and reassurance bring me. I drift into sleep, to dream once more. Only this time, my dreams are not of eyes the color of the Mediterranean, but eyes the color of the night sky just after sunset, the cobalt blue eyes that give my life purpose and meaning, the eyes belonging to my Heero, my love.