by d_huron and jade
Mission failed. Cover blown. Duo and Heero ran for the escape hatch, fumbling
with spacesuit latches, fingers made clumsy by haste. The shuttle was about
to blow, and they exactly 30 seconds to get the hell away from the small
Piercing alarms sounded all over the ship as the hatch opened. Neither one
had the foresight to check the oxygen levels of the suits before they jumped
into the vast coldness of space.
Duo looked at Heero. The other boy nodded. Duo hit the button that would open
the hatch. The only hope was that the explosive decompression of the ship
would push them far enough away that the explosion wouldn't pierce their
spacesuits. The two suits were linked together so they wouldn't lose each
other. The hatch opened, and they were propelled out into space at great
The two boys were thrown far from the small ship; they were spinning in space
for what seemed like forever. A loud explosion signaled the ship's
destruction. They continued to float among the sea of stars.
Duo slowly opened his eyes; to his great relief, he and his suit were all in
one piece. He checked for Heero; he could see the other boy's suit. "Heero?"
he called over the suit's intercom.
Heero slowly opened his eyes, surprised that he had survived uninjured.
Duo's voice brought him out of his thoughts. "Hn."
"I guess that means you're alive, then," Duo mused, using his suit thrusters
to slow their rate of spin. Unfortunately, that took nearly the rest of the
suits power. "Shit." He quickly checked the rest of the suit's levels. He was
screwed. There wasn't enough air to last more than 2 hours, and the rest of
the power levels were nearly flat. They hadn't had time to check. He just
hoped Heero was in better shape than he was.
The Japanese boy checked over his suit, silently cursing. It appeared he was
only stalling the inevitable; he would die. Heero hoped Duo's suit was in
better shape. He heard Duo and knew they were both going to die in about two
hours time. "Duo, what's the status of your suit's power and oxygen levels?"
He had to ask, hoping he was wrong.
"Don't ask, Heero. If I don't freeze to death first, I'll run out of air in
about 2 hours. Looks like you'll have to save your ass by yourself this
time!" Duo tried to sound more cheerful than he felt. They were hundreds of
miles from the nearest colony, too far for a distress signal.
The icy feeling in Heero's stomach grew in intensity. Even when facing
death, Duo was trying to be cheerful. He was stuck floating in space with
the loud obnoxious American; they would die and he wouldn't have told Duo.
"Hn." Heero replied, automatically. His mind was already spinning with
possibilities. There was a very slim chance that someone had picked up the
Duo sighed. Even faced with death, Heero remained stonily silent. He idly
wondered what Heero would say, if anything, if he had ever had the chance to
tell the other boy how he felt about him. How he had lusted after him since
they met, and how that lust had somehow grown into something else...
Minutes passed and Duo hadn't spoken. The desolate quiet was unnerving for
the Japanese boy. The last thing from the American's mouth was a sigh.
Heero closed his eyes, trying to think about anything else besides the
Duo stared out into space. It just wasn't fair, damn it! He thought they had
all the time in the world. They were only 15! They were indestructible.
Weren't they? He was going to wait until the war was over, then tell Heero...
or wait till the right moment... now here they were, miles from nowhere,
spinning around in space. "Heero?"
Heero was debating how to open up to the other pilot; he hadn't let anyone in
ever before. He always thought he'd have time to tell the other boy, after
the war or whenever they were alone. But how does one open up, and make
yourself completely vulnerable when you're used to being in complete control?
Duo's voice started him, "What, Duo?"
"Uh... " Now Duo didn't know what to say. "Do you... think there's any chance
that someone detected the explosion? That we'll be rescued?"
"It's not likely, Duo." The Japanese pilot informed him.
"Oh." Duo fell silent again. He stared out into space. He could see Heero's
suit, but he couldn't see the other boy's face. He felt something welling up
inside of him. Would it hurt to tell him? Finally, before they died? Of
course, if Heero rejected him, it would be that much worse...
Heero was furious with himself; he had failed in his self-appointed mission.
Time, his nemesis, slowly ticked away, eating away at their lives. He wanted
to see Duo's eyes, to touch the other boy. Time continued to pass, stealing
his hopes and dreams for a peaceful life with the braided boy.
Duo checked the suit; only about an hour left. How had half of his remaining
life passed so quickly? He had to do it; he couldn't die without at least
telling Heero how he felt. How he had wanted to kiss the cobalt-eyed boy ever
since the first time he had seen him.
One hour left to live, only sixty minutes left in the world. If they died,
would their souls meet again? Heero could feel the sweat on his hands; he
had to do it. The braided boy deserved to know why he was so distant and his
feelings. Would Duo mock him, or hate him for this weakness?
Duo finally decided. If Heero rejected him, he would only be ashamed for an
hour. He could clear his conscience; he never lied, and not telling something
was the same as lying. "Heero~"
"Hai?" Heero was going to tell the other boy, he didn't know what to say but
he had to do something. The minutes were counting down, and this was his
"I... need to tell you something," Duo began. "I know you probably don't want
to hear this, but we're going to die, and I can't die without telling you..."
"Duo, just say whatever it is you have to tell me." Heero wondered why the
other boy was fumbling over his own words. Usually that was his problem, the
main reason he rarely spoke.
"Heero... I... you're probably going to hate me for this, but..." he closed
his eyes tightly. Even thought he couldn't see Heero's face, he didn't even
want to see the other boy's body stiffen in the rejection he would surely
"Duo, quit stalling and spit it out." Heero was becoming annoyed with the
other boy. Whatever it was could have waited until he told Duo he loved him.
Duo was stung by Heero's sharp tone. "Fine, Heero. I'll spit it out, so you
can be even more pissed off at me than you normally are." Duo's anger took
away the rest of his reluctance. "I love you, Heero. I always have. Always
will. Well, for 45 more minutes anyway."
Heero froze, his breathing stopped. He couldn't form any words; his mind was
screaming at him for being cold to Duo while his heart was singing with joy.
He opened and closed his mouth a few times, still unable to reply to the
beautiful boy. '45 more minutes anyway' the desolate tone of Duo's voice hit
him like a collapsing building.
Duo felt his heart break. Heero wasn't answering. The silence stretched, and
his heart ached.
Heero was still lost in a vortex of emotions and thoughts; Duo's words
repeated themselves over and over in his mind. 'Always have' He had been
such an idiot. "Duo..." he whispered, wanting to have the other boy's full
Duo wished a black hole would swallow him up; why oh why had he let his big
mouth run away from him again? Now he could be embarrassed for the rest of
his life... He heard Heero's voice as if from far away. "What?" he whispered,
not really caring any more.
"I apologize, I'm sorry." Heero took in a big breath, steeling himself for
baring his soul. "All I've ever been to you is a cold bastard, and you
deserve so much more. I kept telling myself that after the war I'd tell you.
But I was only running from my own feelings. I love you, and I wished I'd
told you sooner."
Duo couldn't believe his ears. "Heero?" He stared at the outline of Heero's
suit, wishing he could see the other boy's face. "You... love me?"
"Yes." Heero whispered. "I don't understand how you could love me, after
the way I've treated you."
The longhaired boy was still stunned. "I can't help it. I..." Duo was at a
loss for words for the first time in his life. "I thought you hated me... I
"Perhaps in the beginning, but it's all an act. I didn't want you to know.
I thought it best if you didn't know until we actually had a chance at life.
But now it looks like we don't. Why do you feel that way for me?"
"Why? Because you're strong and beautiful and brave and so fucking stoic! And
life is so damn unfair..." Duo's anger subsided. "I'm gonna die, and I've
never even been kissed..."
Heero grabbed the line that connected their suits, and slowly closed the
distance between them.
The Japanese pilot's gloved hands reached out to grasp the other boy, pulling
their bodies closer. Heero took Duo's hand into his, squeezing it in
comfort. "Duo, I've never been kissed either..."
"You... you haven't?" Duo was incredulous. Then he started to laugh. ""We're
both gonna die out here as virgins... Oh, Heero, why didn't you tell me? We
wasted so much time!"
"Why didn't you tell me, Duo? I didn't know how to open up, I kept hoping
you'd show me how." Heero didn't feel like laughing, realizing they only had
a very short amount of time together. He squeezed the braided boy's hand
harder, wanting to deny the feeling of failure eclipsing his heart.
Duo touched his helmeted head to Heero's. He could se the cobalt eyes within,
eyes that owned his soul. "I thought you would kill me, Heero. You're always
"I couldn't kill you, Duo. I need you so much, I tried to push you away so
it wouldn't hurt as much..."
"That doesn't make sense! I don't understand," Duo said. "I'm starting to
feel dizzy, Heero. I think the air is running out..."
Heero felt the panic begin to course through his body, but not for himself.
All that mattered to him was Duo. "Look at me Duo..." he whispered, feeling
Duo lifted his head and peered at Heero. He looked so beautiful... Duo vowed
to any god that might exist that if he got another chance, he would never let
go of the other boy. "Heero..."
"Duo, wait for me. Please, wait," Heero said, not wanting his life to end
without knowing the feeling of holding the braided boy, or showing Duo how
much he loved him. Heero's head began to fall; slowly he was losing
consciousness. "I love you."
"Heero... love you..." the edges of Duo's world began to go gray. His arms
felt like lead. All that existed was Heero. He could feel the pressure of the
other boy's hand on his. Then that started to fade away. "I've always loved
The two boys drifted off into oblivion, twirling endlessly in the cold of
space, hands still clutched together.