Disclaimers: we don't own the Gundam boys, we're just playing with them.

Authors: dhuron (d_huron@yahoo.com) and Jade (jade9999@aol.com)
Pairings: 3+4, 1+2, 2+3
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: yaoi, lemon, angst

Conflicting Emotions
Part 4

Trowa and Quatre sat in a candlelit restaurant. Quatre sighed, "I've had a wonderful time tonight, Trowa."

"Hm? Oh, so did I," Trowa said with a blush; he just was mesmerized by the small blonde.

Quatre looked down, toying with his napkin. "I wish tonight didn't have to end just yet...."

"Do you want to watch the stars with me? I know a great place." Trowa offered, trying to prolong their first date.

Quatre brightened. "Sure! I mean," he said, blushing, "I'd like that." He wanted to be alone with Trowa, all alone.

"Let's go then," He said while picking up the check and waving over their waitress.

Quatre resisted the urge to hang all over Trowa as they left the restaurant. He didn't know how Trowa felt about public displays of affection. But Trowa looked incredibly handsome in the dim light. He was wearing a simple black shirt and gray pants, and he looked very elegant. "Where are we going, Trowa?"

The taller boy looked into Quatre's eyes, and smiled while put his arm around the slim waist. "Just to a secluded spot, we can see the stars clearly." Plus they would be totally alone.

Quatre felt his face flush and his pants tighten at the thought of being alone with the tall boy. No one to interrupt, no one to disapprove, just the two of them and the stars... it sounded like heaven.

Quatre sat on the blanket, gazing up at the brilliant night sky, trying to think of a way to get closer to Trowa.

Trowa kept looking over at Quatre; the blond was nibbling on his lower lip. A soft sigh escaped his lips. Quatre laid back on the blanket and found he could see the stars better. Also he had a better view of Trowa, his beautiful face silhouetted by moonlight. Unable to resist any longer, Trowa leaned over and kissed Quatre. It started off as a soft and tentative kiss, but quickly escalated into one full of passion and need.

Quatre moaned as he felt Trowa's lips on his, soft and infinitely sweet. When he felt Trowa's tongue ask for entrance, he granted it willingly, submitting to the other boy's explorations. Trowa's hands ran through the soft blonde hair. He deepened the kiss, exploring the sweet warmth; the taller boy felt Quatre's hand on his shoulders pulling him down.

Quatre wanted to feel Trowa on top of him; wanted to feel the bigger boy against his aching body. All he knew was what his body was telling him, and his body wanted to be touched.

Trowa moaned as his body lay on top of Quatre; his hips thrust of their own accord. Both boys whimpered from the friction. Quatre had never felt anything like this; the hard length rubbing against his own aching cock was incredible. The heat of Trowa's body burned him with a searing heat that he never wanted to end.

"Quatre." he whispered, lost in the aquamarine orbs. He ran his thumb over the puffy lips, noticing Quatre's body shiver. "Little one..."

"Oh, Trowa," Quatre breathed, gazing up at Trowa, "I... I want..."

"I want you, Quatre. Only you." He claimed the sweet lips, a soft loving kiss that bound their souls together. Quatre melted into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Trowa like he never wanted to let go. At the same time, he rocked his hips faster against. It felt so good...

Quatre felt Trowa's hand wander over him, and gasped. He wanted more, wanted to feel Trowa's hands all over him. Slowly his own hands began to un-button Trowa's black shirt. His hips rose and fell, meeting with the taller boy's. "Trowa.."

Trowa moaned at the feel of the small hands on him... but then he pulled Quatre's hands away. "Stop," he whispered.

"What did I do wrong?" asked the blond boy desperately.

"You didn't do anything wrong.", he said while caressing the pale cheek, "I just don't want to push you too fast."

"But I want to... " pouted Quatre.

"I want to, too. I want you so much Quatre..."

"So take me, Trowa," the boy answered, arching up against Trowa.

Trowa moaned into the blonde's mouth, the sensations were blistering hot.


Quatre thrilled at the effect he was having on the blond boy, and let his hand travel down Trowa's chest, to just brush against his hardness. The feathering touches were slowly dissolving Trowa's resolve, he wanted Quatre but something just wasn't right. "Quatre...not here..." Another moan erupted from his lips as the smaller boy's hips thrust into his.

Quatre pouted, but said, "I understand, Trowa. Though I don't like it!!"

"Little one..." he pressed his lips to Quatre's, kissing him deeply again before moving to suck on the tender flesh of the blonde's neck. "I don't want to stop either..."

Quatre moaned and arched up against Trowa, reveling in the mutual friction. He ached for Trowa, all over.

Trowa gently bit the tempting flesh, covering the wound with kisses and licks. Each second with the small blond made him begin to forget the reason for not making love to him.

Quatre said, panting, "Trowa? why do we need to stop?"

Trowa's hand ran through the soft hair, over the delicate lines of Quatre's cheeks. "I just..." He faltered, unable to word what he felt and thought

"Yes, Trowa?" he gazed up into the green eyes, and wanted to stay forever.

He looked into the aquamarine eyes that were full of desire, for him. "I think we shouldn't go all the way, yet." He mentally groaned at that lame attempt to vocalize his thoughts. He just didn't want his first time to be out in open, he wanted it to be private and cherished. Trowa tried to explain this to Quatre.

"I understand, Trowa. I want to wake up next to you after we make love."

Trowa smiled at Quatre and pulled them both to their feet. He kissed the soft lips again, his tongue slipping into the sweet cavern. "Let's get back?"

Quatre sighed but Trowa lead them back to the dorms. But he managed to brush against Trowa every chance he got. The taller boy had to bite back moans as Quatre brushed against him. Each brief touch sent shivers running over his skin and fed the fire in his blood. They finally got back to the dorm, and Trowa walked Quatre to his room. Quatre unlocked the door, then looked up at Trowa. "Are you sure you don't want to come in?" he said seductively.

"We can't Quatre." He kissed the small blonde goodnight, "Will I see you tomorrow?"

"I have a project I need to do. Can you join me?" Quatre asked hopefully,

"I'd love to. What time should I meet you, and where?"

"Here, about 8?"

"Then I'll see you at 8." Trowa leaned in and kissed the smaller boy, his arms encircling the slim waist and pulling the blonde against his body.

Quatre let himself melt against Trowa, his cock throbbing with need. He kissed back desperately, missing Trowa already.

Trowa pulled away from the small blonde, missing the tender lips already. "Goodnight Quatre, sleep well." He turned and walked to his room, wondering if he made the right decision or not.

Quatre closed the door quietly, leaning against it heavily. He was so turned on, more than he had ever been in his life, and he was all alone.

Slowly his hands teased his hardened nipples. Quatre gasped out loud from the sensation. He wished it were Trowa's hand, teasing him and giving him pleasure. Almost guiltily, the sweet blond's hand strayed to his zipper. He had never deliberately touched himself before, but the urge was too strong to resist. His cock ached; ached with need to be touched. Trowa had awakened something inside him.

He pulled the zipper down, with deliberate slowness. Tentatively his hand reached into his pants, brushing against his cloth covered erection. He wasn't even sure how to do it, but just a light brush felt so good... he decided to go farther, sliding his hand inside his boxers. His took his cock into his hand, moaning. Slowly he began to stroke himself, biting on his lower lip to prevent the screams of pleasure. It felt so good... he was blushing, but he couldn't stop. He squeezed a bit tighter, and pulled out on the front of his pants for better access. Feeling his knees ready to buckle, he sat down on his bed and leaned against the wall, still stroking. Each wonderful stroke took him higher and higher. Quatre licked his lips and closed his eyes, picturing Trowa's hand on him, stroking him. Quatre was panting now, and his cock was dripping with his excitement. That just made it easier to pump, though, and Quatre could barely keep quiet.

"Trowa..." He moaned as a crescendo of pleasure started to course through his body. A ripple in water, small at first only to grow in intensity. His hand moved faster, taking himself to the edge. Then he slowed his hand; he wanted his first climax to be with Trowa! As good as this felt, it would be a thousand times better with the other boy. Reluctantly, he pulled his hand out of his pants and tried to ignore his throbbing erection.

Quatre stared at the door for a few moments, before sighing. "I'll wait until you're ready..."


Duo sat in his room, on the disheveled bed, arms curled around his knees. He felt empty inside. His dream was still fresh in his mind. It had been a long time since he thought about that time in his life, when everything seemed to be perfect. He wanted everything to be perfect again. Nothing ever seemed to go right for him since then. Everyone abandoned him.

His thoughts went back to Trowa; he thought the tall boy was his last chance at being happy. He had to make Trowa see that, didn't he realize how Duo felt? Duo was the one who loved him, not Quatre; Quatre would only hurt Trowa. Duo needed to see Trowa, to make him understand. If Trowa knew how much he needed him, maybe he would understand.

With firm resolve, Duo left his bed and walked into the bathroom that joined his room to Trowa's. He paused briefly in front of the other door to take a deep breath, then he opened the door and walked into Trowa's room.

And stopped dead in his tracks. Trowa lay on his bed, pants off, hand deep in his briefs, moaning and stroking.

Duo must have made some kind of noise, because in an instant Trowa jumped then pinned him with a glare. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

"T-Trowa?" Duo squeaked. "S-sorry..."

"What are you doing, Duo? Can't you knock?" Trowa nearly growled out.

"I.. I..." Duo had never seen Trowa so angry before. His friend was always so calm. "I just wanted to talk to you..."

"It could have waited, Duo. Or did you just not think?" Trowa rose to his feet, his glare darkened. "What is so damn important?"

Duo backed away, trying to look anywhere but at Trowa's pants. "I just wanted to tell you.. that I..." he faltered, not wanting to talk to Trowa when he was like this.

Trowa pointed to the door, "Just get out, Duo!" He then turned his back on the braided boy and tried to calm down.

Duo sobbed but mumbled, "Ok..." He fled back to his room, but he couldn't stand to be there. It reminded him of Trowa, of what he could never have. He stumbled out of the room, running blindly, not caring where he went. He vaguely heard the door slam shut as he ran down the hall, clad in a loose shirt and a pair of sweat pants. Tears were streaming down his face, but he didn't care.

Heero heard a door slam as he was leaving his room. He looked up to see Duo running blindly down the hallway, sobbing. His chest seemed to constrict. Heero could feel the emotions rolling off of Duo's body. Not need to consider his actions, he ran after the braided boy.

Duo ran out into the quad, ignoring the wet grass that soaked his feet and clothes. He fled the images in his mind, fled his painful memories. He wanted to run forever. He never saw the low stone wall that marked the edge of the quad.

Heero called out to Duo trying to warn him, but he went unheard. He ran faster, trying to catch Duo before he collided with the wall. "Duo!"

Duo felt the wall tear at his bare feet, then he was falling. He tried to regain his balance but couldn't. As if in slow motion, he felt himself tumble over the wall. He tried to put out a hand to break his fall, but he was tangled in his shirt. He heard his name as he hit the ground hard with his shoulder.

Heero watched as Duo went down to the ground. He knelt beside Duo, carefully rolling him onto his back. "Duo? Speak to me....." His worried filled eyes looked at the braided boy's closed ones, tears still falling.

Duo winced; His shoulder hurt, a lot. It wouldn't move properly. Someone was talking to him. "H-Heero?" he asked, recognizing the boy from class.

"What happened?" Heero asked, worry filling his tone. Gently he lifted the boy into his arms and started walking back into the dorm. "Why were you crying?"

Duo sniffled, for some reason feeling completely safe in the other boy's arms. Heero was so strong, he had lifted Duo effortlessly. He had to restrain himself form snuggling closer. "Nothing," he mumbled.

"Don't lie, Duo. Something must have happened." Deciding that the problem was inside the dorm, Heero stopped and headed in the opposite direction.

Trying to change the subject, Duo asked, "Where are we going?" Truthfully, he didn't mind as long as he got to stay in Heero's arms. What was the matter with him? Why did he feel this way when he loved Trowa? The thought of the tall boy brought fresh tears to his eyes.

"A place to talk." Heero looked at the boy in his arms. A familiar feeling washed over him. He was about to say something else, but saw more tears falling from the beautiful eyes. "Duo, please tell me what's wrong. I want to help, please!"

Duo tried to hold back the tears, to no avail. The combination of his earlier heartbreak and Heero's comforting arms broke down all his barriers. He clung to Heero and sobbed. "I can't tell you."

Heero looked deeply into Duo's eyes, about to tell the braided boy he could say anything. But something within those grief-stricken orbs triggered a lost memory.

Duo stared up at Heero, engulfed in a sea of cobalt. He had been here before, he knew it; he'd looked into those eyes before.


Kenji held Jonathan close to him, looking into the pain-filled eyes. "It's okay. I'm here. Please don't cry." Gently he stroked the crying boy's back, offering what comfort he could.

Jonathan sobbed. "It hurts! Make it stop hurting, Kenji!"

"Look into my eyes. Forget about the pain, just let it go. I'm here"

Jonathan looked up, and into those eyes, and the pain eased. Kenji had made the pain go away.


Heero ran his hand over Duo's back, willing the other's pain to go away. "Ssh, I'm here Jonathan...let it go.."

Duo relaxed, breathing more deeply. The pain in his shoulder started to go away, and the pain in his heart eased. "Oh, Kenji, thank you..."

Still lost in the memory, Heero gently rocked his body to ease his best friend. "Don't cry anymore, it hurts to see you cry..."

Duo felt himself drift away, rocked to safety in his friends arms. His sobs eased. It felt so right. Then he opened his eyes.


on to part 5

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