Disclaimers: Gundam wing is not mine, just the fic. I don't claim to own anything, except for the story and poetry.

Pairings: 1+2...um other pairings might appear later on.
Warning: Will have angst!! Swearing in this one guys, have a tissue just in case. Will be yaoi in later chapters. Oh yeah, poetry within this fic is mine...*ducks from flying veggies and the sorts* Umm...AU and lots of OOC.. *i think*

[] shows thoughts
******* scene change
////// flashback...

Jester Unmasked
Part 5

After securing the gundams in the underground hanger, the four pilots marched into the study.

"Did you see the way his gundam moved?" No one needed to know who Wufei was referring to. Since Deathscythes appearance and the victorious conclusion of the battle, all four of them wondered why Duo came, but most importantly why he didn't say anything besides the clipped reply to Heero.

"How are we going to ask for forgiveness when we can't even get him talking to us?" Trowa asked, frustration apparent in his tone. "Heero, do you really know where he is?"

"Hn, I said I did. I will leave in the morning, after I have made a few arrangements."

"I'm coming as well!" shouted the remainder.

"Hn, I don't think..."

"NO! This is all of our faults, so it is only right we all go" Demanded the determined Chinese youth.

Always the peacemaker, Quatre first tried reason. When that failed, he turned to Heero with the look...

"Fine! Be ready by 10 am or I'm leaving without you." With that he stormed up the stairs.


Duo shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Today he was to read a rather personal poem. //Che, it's my fault for submitting it. How was I suppose to know that baka teacher would like it so much. I will read it without breaking down..I will!!// Repeating the last phrase, the mantra started to soothe his anxious mind. His eyes never left his desk, if they had he would have noticed two sets of eyes staring at him. The teacher called him up. Putting on his glasses, still looking down, he looked up to address the class.

"This is entitled `Lost'" scanning the room he finally noticed, sitting in the back Heero and Quatre. //Shit Shit Shit!!! What are they doing here?? How'd they find me?? Calm down Duo, you knew they'd find you sooner or later// Swallowing the large lump in his throat Duo Began reading.

Surrounded by Darkness,
frightening yet calming.
The spirit is lost,
looking for the wavering beacons

The spirit calls out,
but the darkness swallows the plea
Forlorn, the spirit falls into
the engulfing abyss

Falling, the spirit spots a beacon,
wavering, yet constant.
Heads toward the beacon
The spirit finds another lost soul

Connected by pain,
the two search for the way back.
As the darkness begins to fade
, The two souls begin to shine once again'.

His voice thick with unshed tears, Duo looked into the Prussian blue eyes. He saw a flicker of something. //I wonder what that was?//. Forcing his body to move, he made his way back to his seat, praying the earth would split open and swallow him whole. Heero and Quatre were both taken aback by the depth and power within Duo's poem. Both could read the underlying pain, both asked the same question. //Who is he referring to?// (1)

To Duo's good fortunate the bell rang, he was the first out of the class. Making a beeline to the forest at the west end of the campus in hopes of losing a certain pair of teenagers. Unfortunately Fate had other plans for him. "Duo, Matte!!" //Damn, why me?? Why is Fate being so cruel to me?// Pretending to ignore Quatre, he continued his trek to the forest, that is until he was stopped by Heero, who had grabbed his arm. Spinning around, anger showing within the violet orbs. "What the fuck do you two want??" he spat venomously

Shocked from the vulgar language, Quatre began. "Duo we need to talk. We've been so worried..."

"There is nothing to talk about 04, why would You of all people want to talk with just a street rat?? Worried?? Like hell, I'd figured you all would be happy to get rid of my childish antics. Has Wufei found a suitable Onna to take my place...or should I just dye my hair pink and prance around in a Frock??" A virulent gleam enter his eyes as he continued to verbally bashed Quatre in. Looking at Heero, "What spandex boy, nothing to say?" With that he turned around and ran. Tears gushed out of Quatre's eyes as he watched Duo run off. //Not again//. Slowly his feet listened to his mind and started to head in the direction Duo ran off to. Only to be stopped by Heero.

"Let me go Quatre. Go find the others and fill them in. I'll meet up with you later." Finally nodding, he went to find Wufei and Trowa.

Heero sped off to catch Duo. He say the end of the braid whip around the corner. Seeing his target, he pushed his legs to go faster. Finally catching up to Duo, he grabbed his arm. "Duo...please stop. I...I..." Not turning around to face Heero.

" You what, Heero?"

"Please listen to me, I've been trying to find you since you left..." Heero knew he was rambling, but he just couldn't find the words he needed, "I need you". Since Duo had his back to him, Heero didn't see the flash of evil intent in Duo's eye. Spinning around, Duo gave him a sultry smile.

"You need me eh?" Closing the gap, Duo's hand started caressing Heero's chest. "Is this what you need?" Heero's brain went into overload.//No No this is wrong...feels so good.// While his mind argued with itself, his body reacted to Duo's advances. Seeing this reaction, Duo slid his hand down his firm stomach, lingering at the waistband of the spandex, and slid lower until he was squeezing Heero through the spandex.

"Oh gods Duo, I've wanted this for so long." Coherent thought went out the window as the stimulation increased. Heero saw Duo's face moving closer.//Yes//. Closing his eyes, Heero felt Duo's breathe on his cheek, he felt Duo's cheek against his.

Duo's head moved closer to Heero's. Seeing his eyes shut he smirked, bypassing the lips, he made his way to the ear. "I've wanted this for a long time to Heero. Maybe now you understand how much your words hurt me. The others shattered my mask, you shattered my heart. Maybe in time..." he left the sentence hanging. Quickly, before Heero could see the tears, he ran to his dorm.

Upon hearing the confession, Heero felt a deep pain centered in his chest. Opening his eyes, he saw Duo run again. A single tear fell down his cheek. //No, I won't let it end like this.// With that thought he ran after Duo again.

Heero stood in front of the door. Trying to calm himself, he knocked. "Go Away." Hearing the sobs coming from within, Heero tried the door knob, being unlocked he opened the door and went in. He was unprepared for the scene that greeted him. Duo lay on his bed, face down, sobbing into his pillows. Moving without thinking of the consequence, he was on the bed beside the sobbing boy. Heero pulled Duo into a fierce embrace. Duo tried fighting him, but soon gave up and sobbed uncontrollably into the warm chest.

"I'm so sorry Duo, please forgive me." his voice thick with grief.

"I'm sorry Heero, please stay right here and hold me" he choked out between sobs. Heero did just that until Duo cried himself to sleep. Still holding the boy Heero made a vow.

"I'll never hurt you again Duo". Shifting on the small bed, Heero soon followed Duo into the realm of dreams.

When Duo awoke he felt comfortable and warm.//Hmm...that's strange.// Opening his eyes he saw that his head was lying on Heero's chest. Blushing to a cherry red, he tried to recall what happened.//Oh yeah, now I remember. Now comes the hard part. Although this is far better than I thought it would be.// Snuggling deeper into the embrace, he felt Heero shift under him.

"Duo, are you up??" //Someone must really hate me...//

"Hai, I'm up" Looking up into Heero's face, he gasped. Never before had he seen such emotion radiating from those icy orbs. "Thank you for staying Heero, even after what I did...", shifting so he could meet Heero eye to eye Duo continued, " I want to show you something, it is something I wrote after what happened."

"Duo, I'm sorry about all of it. I've regretted it every waking hour. Can you forgive me?" he pleaded with the braided pilot.

With a small, but heartfelt smile, Duo nodded. "Yes I can Heero, as a matter of fact I already have. But I want to show you something." He climbed off the bed and went to the desk at the other side of the room. Pulling out a notebook, Duo flipped through the pages, when he found what he was looking for he returned to Heero. "Read this, after you do I have some things to tell you about my self."


String me up and hit me just like a pinata
Go ahead, I don't mind after all I'm not important to anyone
I have no feelings, just filled with stuffing
Go ahead, follow in the foot steps of so many before you

Stuff me back into the garbage bag, toss me to the curb
No longer useful to you, so drop me like the waste I am
I have no feelings, toss me to get collected with the other garbage
Go ahead, follow in the foot steps of so many before you

Take what you want from my Soul
Drain the light from my essence, until all that remains is a hollow shell
I have no feelings, crush me under your foot like an empty can
Go ahead, follow in the foot steps of so many before you

Glance into my eyes and tell me your lies
Gain my trust, tell me you will be there when I fall and need someone
I have no feelings, scream at me for even wanting to talk to a "friend"
Go ahead, follow in the foot steps of so many before you

Make my life a living Purgatory, never helping shoulder my heavy burden
Add to my pain by telling me vain promises running to kick me while I'm down
I have no feelings, sink that jagged dagger into my all too trusting heart
Go ahead, follow in the foot steps of so many before you

Tell me I'm your friend, only to act like a treacherous thief
Cover my eyes with the ominous clouds of your aura
I have no feelings, Betray my trust while not thinking of my feelings
Go ahead, follow in the foot steps of so many before you

Attack my mind while I lay dormant in my bed
Spew your evil intentions into my subconscious
I have no feelings, fill me with self doubt
Go ahead, follow in the foot steps of so many before you

I held you so close, the only "friend" that I could trust with my problems
You just add to the pain and suffering of my torturous existence
Adding your burden to mine, making me falter
Not there for me, like so many others, who said they would be
You left me alone in the pit, filled with the evil snakes of life

How can one trust after so many betrayals in life?
How am I suppose to get through this, the only one I could talk to has turned his back
After all I gave and gave to help, I am left standing in the bleak
desert of what once was I will endure this, for I must endure. I have nothing else I can do.
I leave this massacre of trust with a deep cut in my heart and soul
Looking for another one I can trust, but knowing that person is just
an illusion that my soul keeps hoping for, but will never come
I bid you farewell, even with all this pain I cannot wish you harm...'

As he read the poem, Heero felt the pain and sorrow in it. "Duo, I didn't know.."

"Sssshhhh..Heero. Not all of that is about what happened. A bunch of it has to do with my past. The events that happened just brought a lot of it back." Letting fresh tears fall, Duo told Heero everything. From meeting Solo, being the recluse, making a vow to do everything in his power to keep others happy, to his time at the Maxwell Church." Heero listened to every word, while holding Duo, letting him cry on his shoulder. Finally after all was said, they sat in silence. Finally unable to do nothing, Heero placed his fingers under that delicate cheek and lifted those lips to his own. Without hesitation, Duo responded. Finally breaking their first real kiss, Heero looked into those passionate eyes.

"Thank you for telling me Duo, I can see now how much pain we caused. Are you up to talking with the others??"

Nodding, "Yes I need to speak with the others, then we can move on from this."


(1) Well who do you think it is???

on to part 6

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