Days continue to slow, seconds passing with sluggish speed making minutes feel like eternity, forever hell. I looked at the calendar at work today, fourteen more days have passed and nothing is better.
Will it ever get better? Why can’t anyone care, or is the world fallen to the point of not caring for an insignificant soul like myself. I finally accepted it, yet I thought things would be easier but they aren’t. The aching pain in my heart steadily grows; sometimes it is so strong that I can’t stop the tears.
I heard once that tears help cleanse, but they were wrong…terribly so. My pathetic tears burn, sear more scars into my already battered soul.
Don’t I sound like one of those angry, battered female singers from times past? Only if I played the piano, then perhaps I could make money off of my pain.
I considered ending it all again, last night. It’s not like people will notice…well I take that back. Those at my job will question, but then again all they ever really see is the damn mask and façade I’ve used since I was a child.
The mask has kept me safe for so long, but even it has fallen to time and fate. It is cracked, and chipping away, but the person behind the mask is cracked and slowly vanishing with it.
I even sent a message to them, yet haven’t heard anything at all…..that was last week.
Too many sleepless nights begging and crying to any deity out there and yet nothing as if even _THEY_ can’t intervene in this Purgatory I call life. Interesting thought, that is, that they are bound by time and fate like the rest of us…
I yawn again, my eye lids drooping….
Do they hate me…? They must, I’m reaching out….calling out…but they don’t hear….nobody hears the whispered words from a torn soul….
Look….the moon is black tonight…
Damn…why are these sleeping pills taking effect so fast….So tired….
I wonder if they are happy…..if they are then I can continue to live in misery……
Hmmm…..I wonder who’s knocking at the door…
So sleepy…..I can’t even move….
How many pills did I take…?
Pounding now…..but I can’t keep my eyes opened….