Warnings And Disclaimers: I donít own Gundam Wing, and I certainly donít own The Beatles. >br>
This Fic Contains: yaoi, lime-like qualities, sleep, dreams, and angst?
As for the pairing... I know who it is, do you? ^_^

Thoughts are in the {thoughts} marks

Well... this is a songfic done I think a little differently then usual... instead of using the lyrics in between the story, the lyrics will instead be the only spoken dialogue, kinda makes for some weird dialogue let me tell ya...

Within You and Without You
by ClarySage

A sharp gasp broke though the silence of the night. A brief thump was heard, and then the shine of light on eyes held wide and open. A head rose from a pillow and looked to the other bed. Moonlight showed all, and now it embraced another boy, twisted in his sheets and writhing in tune to a nightmare.

Getting up, the wide-eyed boy knelt beside the bed, almost as if in prayer. A tentative hand reached out to tug on one wayward arm. No reaction came other then a half muffled groan and more tossing about on the white sheets.

Nightmares, they all had them, a common enough occurrence with all they did, all theyíd been through. Eyes slitted and continued to study the boy on the bed, a small frown tugged at his lips as the figure whimpered and rolled again.

Words ran through his head, accusing, battering. {What where you doing? What did you say? What did you do?}

His hand, perhaps unconsciously began kneading the silky arm that it was still touching. Smooth and hard, complex textures mixing together to form ... what? Something indescribably sexual, right in everyway, something he needed to touch. He ignored it and focused instead on the boy, still sleep coated, nightmares deeply rooted inside his head.

He bent and whispered into the perfect shell of an ear, his breath brushing past tiny, fine hairs inside. His voice was soft as he once more asked the question heíd wanted to ask so many times in the past few days. The boy on the bed stopped his incessant movement, his body stilled suddenly and a small quiet mumble escaped his parted lips.

Another whisper, the boy leaned closer. His hair brushed one naked shoulder as his hand slipped up the bare arm to brush over one cheek on the suddenly still face. With a twist of expression words finally escaped the sleeping mouth.

"We were talking."

Ah, one question answered and so many to follow. Talking, it must be a lie. A small shudder wracked the light-drenched dreamer, and leaning back the boy studied, taking note of the slack expression now riding the otherís features. Before he could ask another question of the sleeping boy, it seemed to be answered for him.

"About the space between us all."

That made no sense. With a shake of his head the boy once more leaned close, his lips just touched one ear as he whispered. There was more of course, there had to be.

"And the people... who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion."

That hit home, whether he wanted it to or not. They all wore masks of one kind or another, an illusion to be sure. Had he really talked philosophy the entire time? No, there had to be more. His body tensed slightly as the dreamer turned again, his arm coming to rest over the hand so possessively clutching him. {I know you talked about more. I know it was him there with you. What did you say? What did you talk about?}

Another soft whisper into that waiting ear, warm breath coursing over skin and swirling around and down into the sleeperís dreams.

"Never glimpse the truth." Another moan and the figure tossed his head, mouth opening and eyelids squeezing together tightly. "Then itís far too late... when they pass away." A stifled moan as the boy turned his head again, twisting his body; a soft sob seeming to catch in his throat. Perhaps it was only imagined, and yet the boy couldnít stop himself as he leaned in again.

This time he didnít need to ask anything though, the quiet whispers having seemed to open a floodgate somewhere in the unconscious boyís mind.

"We were talking." This time it came out between clenched teeth, a plea for understanding to a boy he didnít even know was listening. The moonlight flashed on white teeth as the boy opened his mouth again. "About the love... we could all share."

He had never considered that they had something in common, not this, not love. How could they share that? Share it with each other, with the enemy. Love couldnít be something they ever talked about; it wouldnít help them in this life. He raised himself from the smooth wooden floor, his hand still trapped beneath the other boys. Before he could begin to extricate himself the sleep slurred voice whispered again.

"When we find it... to try our best to hold it there... with our love."

How could these words come from someone so deeply dreaming? Each syllable crashed like broken glass. Never had he thought to hear such things come tumbling from this boyís mouth, not even in sleep. Despite himself he found that he once more brought his knees to touch the floor, his hand relaxing on that silken arm.

Bringing his head to rest on the other boyís chest he breathed deeply, an illusive odor of spices filtered through his senses, barely noticed. {Love, why does he keep talking about love? There is no love for us, only the fight.} His hand clenched then relaxed as he once more breathed in that spicy smell. {Cinnamon, earth, something more. Why am I so concerned with his smell?} A small sigh escaped from him, and to his surprise the boy beneath his head whispered again into the night filled room.

"With our love... we could save the world." The barely audible whisper ended on another sigh and night filled eyes shone briefly at the sentiment. {Love canít save us, not even your love. And who is it? Who makes you dream like this?} "If they only knew."

The boy listening so intently to these whispered words shook himself but didnít lift his head from its resting place. {If we only knew, I wouldnít ask you these things if I knew. Would I? Who am I asking for?}

He slithered slowly over the still deeply slumbering figure. His hands grasped the slender, strong shoulders and he whispered into the deaf ear of the sleeper.

"Try to realize itís all within yourself. No-one else can make you change." Moaning, the boy tried to roll in response, but the hands gripping his shoulders wouldnít let him. A sharp gasp fell from his mouth, and his eyes rolled beneath lids that seemed to be shackled close.

A grim smile lifted the corners of the watching boyís mouth, as another hot breath filtered over the neck and ear of the dreamer.

"And to see youíre really only very small." A strange quirk at his lips, as he wondered what the sleeper would do with this statement. How would it be inserted into his dreams? What response would come back?

The hand still holding his own squeezed then relaxed, the boy tossed in place again, turning, then struggling briefly against the iron arms holding his shoulders in place. With a slight moan of desperation the boy gave up, words again falling from his mouth, pleading.

"And life flows on within you... " The boy shook, gasps escaping his trembling mouth, shudders seemed to rack his body and then he once more relaxed. In a small voice the boy mumbled, his face turning into the one hand still holding his shoulder. "And without you."

{Itís almost beginning to feel like torture. These maddening replies. I know thereís more, tell me the truth. What were you doing? What did you talk about? What did you do?}

Again the slight thrashing movement from the sleeping boy, his features once more twisting into a mask of desperation, pleading for belief.

"We were talking." It barely eased out of the slack mouth this time. The silent boy caressed one cheek, startled to find it wet, the moonlight hadnít shown this grief. His lips caressed the sleek neck between his palms, and then his hot breath reached out again to rasp into the waiting ear. A question, and his mouth scored its way over the flesh beneath it, stopping to feel the beat of a pulse.

"About the love thatís gone so cold." {Maybe, it can be cold. But it burns me up just the same.} His lips twisted but didnít remove themselves from the soft flesh, just tasting, waiting.

With a wry smile, the boy lifted his head and leant close to those open lips, briefly his mouth opened and his voice cut through the moonlight. "And the people who gain the world and lose their soul?" It came out crisp, an order almost, an accusation perhaps.

It was game, and yet not a game. Each response told him what he wanted to know and yet seemed to reveal nothing at all. He waited, knowing eventually the whispered question would sink into the dreaming mind and find an answer.

The softest of moans, he could feel it under his lips as they moved back to cover that silken column. His teeth nipped lightly under the other boyís chin, his fingers finally releasing their grip and smoothing over the slightly damp flesh tracing a rough pattern over the beating heart.

"They donít know... they canít see." A sigh, and the figure curled slightly, defensive, and yet so much more vulnerable than ever. Eyebrows knit together, and the cold light filtering through the window illuminated the slack features of the sleeping boy. {Guileless, thatís what you want me to think. I know though, I know your hiding something.}

"Are you one of them?" A rapid shaking of the head, a repeated gesture of denial. He could almost hear the words that went unspoken. {No, your not. I know better then to ask a question like that. You of all people would never betray us, betray me; you canít turn, not now.}

He started to hiss sharply into an ear "When youíve seen beyond yourself... " But he didnít finish. The sleeping boy slept no longer, his eyes opened in the moonlit room. A tense silence fell about them. But neither moved, a slow shift of bodies and they melted against one another for a moment.

Again, that dark voice cut across the light drenched room. "Then you may find peace of mind is waiting there." The no longer sleeping boy nodded, his hands sliding up the flesh above him. With a small smile, he answered as best he could even as his lips tasted. "And the time will come when you see weíre all one."

Wise words, but only a small moan escaped from his throat as he leaned into those soft lips. A tongue reached out and caressed his skin, fingernails trailing down his bare back. He moved again, slightly, legs coming to rest firmly against the gently writhing form. His mouth opened in a soundless gasp as teeth bit into the skin near his ear, and then came once more to whisper against his neck. "And life flows on within you."

It was true. The boy beneath him trembled, his hands tightening around the solid body so thoroughly braced against his own. His eyes closed, then opened. Cold white light made the shadows flee, and a smile tugged at the waiting boyís mouth as he watched the emotions tumble about on the face so close to his.

"And without you." A spattering of hot tears slid from his eyes, but he ignored their salty warmth. Instead, he moved to pull the twisted sheets over their bodies. His arm wrapped around the slim form of the other boy, his mouth resting again, though a soft smile still curved one corner.

{Yes, and without you. But your still here, and so am I.}


back to fiction

back to clarysage fiction

back home