Tales of Absolutely Horrifying Lust
"It was a dark and stormy night." A sepulchral voice says.
"Uh actually, it wasn't." <glances at the narrator>
"Listen if I say it was a dark and stormy night, then it was dark," a pause as the sun seems to fall from the sky, "And it was stormy," Black clouds race to fill in the now dark sky. Lightening flashes and thunder rolls.
"Ok fine, but do you have any idea how cliché that sounds?" < Eyes the narrator>
"If a dog can get away with it then I can." The narrator says testily.
"Fine. But that doesn't mean his stories were ever credible."
"Will you let me go on?!" The narrator taps a foot impatiently.
"Ya ya, go ahead."
"It was a dark and stormy night, and five bishounen were gathered around a fireplace... "
"I'm bored." Said Duo. He was lying on his stomach in front of the fireplace. His feet extended towards the cheery warmth, his head resting on his crossed arms. Duo was not the only bored pilot tonight. But still no one commented on this statement. Due to the vicious storm outside the power and gone out, and it seemed no one had a working flashlight with them and no candles were to be found. So Heero had lit a roaring fire and they had all settled down around it for lack of anything better to do.
Regrettably, it wasn't a very good light to read by. Though Wufei was trying his damndest by sitting with his back against the brickwork surrounding the blaze. His eyes were narrowed in concentration as he tried to make out the words of "The Tao Of Pooh" in the flickering light.
Quatre was leaning back against his lover, Trowa's arms wrapped tightly around the petite blond boy. Duo envied them as they snuggled together in a large overstuffed chair nearby. His eyes almost automatically flickering from the content couple to the one thing he desired most over anything else. The object of his unknown affections was sitting cross-legged in front of the fire, his hands resting in his lap, his gaze far away. The braided boy was entranced as the dim light cast a soft glow over Heero's features. For a change he had abandoned his usual spandex and tank top in favor of something more comfortable on this dark, sodden night.
He looks almost edible thought Duo, his gaze slowly traveling over the slim jean clad legs and large black sweater that his obsession was wearing. He sighed, as Heero absently brushed the hair from his eyes and looked over at him, his expression as unreadable as ever. Duo quickly looked away and pretended to be absorbed in the huge Oriental rug he was lying on. He traced a long finger over the design and thought about what he would rather be doing on this storm swept night.
Ever since he had encountered the stoic pilot he couldn't seem to think of anything else. Lately, much to his own chagrin he had even begun to watch Heero while he slept. His eyes caressing what his hands could not. Not unless I want a few broken fingers, thought Duo morosely.
What is it about him that fascinates me so much? It's not like there aren't other things I could be thinking of. There's just something about him. The way he's so hot and cold at the same time. That insane laugh he has when he blows up an enemy. His eyes when he looks at Wing Zero. Why can't he look me with such possessiveness?
Once more his eyes shifted to the lithe form. His mind supplying endless erotic visions of the dark haired boy. I've got to stop thinking of him like this. It's so hopeless; he'll never let down his guard, never let me see what's behind that mask.
Duo shifted his hips slightly as he realized he now had a raging hard on. As if it wasn't bad enough he was bored out of his mind, now he was horny too. Grimacing a bit he rolled onto his side. Unfortunately, now he was facing Quatre and Trowa. The two lovers were kissing softly, Quatre half turned in Trowa's lap, arms wrapped securely around one another. Duo let out a barely audible groan and rolled back onto his stomach. He propped his chin in his hands and stared into empty space, it was safer than any of the alternatives at this point.
Heero watched as Duo rolled onto his side then back onto his stomach. He had been pretending he wasn't watching the other boy. But now as at last Duo's eyes turned away from him he let himself stare. The braided boy had his head resting on his open palms; his back arched slightly. Heero's gaze followed the long braid down Duo's back to where it ended right below the curved buttocks. He watched as Duo's hips shifted, the longhaired pilot stretching a bit.
Why can't I stop watching him? Ever since we met I haven't been able to take my eyes off him. What is it about him that makes me want to touch him so badly? He knew Duo probably didn't even think about him that way, and yet he couldn't seem to help himself when it came to the braided Shinigami.
Abruptly Duo stood up and stretched, his dark blue sweater riding up to show off a flat expanse of stomach. Then yawning hugely, he said. "This is too boring, I'm gonna turn in."
He walked carefully up the dark stairs, taking no chances with the lack of light. Feeling his way along the wall he managed to make his way down the blackened hallway. His fingertips traced the wallpaper as he went. As his hand trailed over one doorframe he knew he was almost there. He stopped and opened the second door he touched. Entering the room cautiously he began to strip off his sweater and jeans, tossing them on the floor carelessly. Leaving the undershirt and boxers he was wearing on, he crawled into bed and snuggled under the heap of blankets.
Bbbrr, it's so cold, wish Heero would warm me up on nights like this. He mentally slapped himself for that thought. Shivering slightly he curled up into a ball on his side, hoping to create a smaller space to heat up.
Heero watched as Duo ascended the shadowed stairs, his eyes following that slim frame all the way up until the blackness at the top of the landing swallowed the other boy. He sighed softly and turned back to look at his fellow pilots. Quatre and Trowa were still snuggling together in the armchair, not letting anyone else's comfort or discomfort intrude. Wufei was still trying to read, a scowl on his face. Stretching out on the rug Heero lay himself down on the same spot Duo had so recently vacated.
Maybe I should go up there and... He stopped that thought and tried to think of other less disturbing things. But for some reason all he could think of was that warm body on those undoubtedly cold sheets. Maybe he's got a good idea for a change; think I'll go to bed too. Nodding to himself he stood and said a brief goodnight to his distracted friends.
Making his way slowly up the dark staircase, he didn't notice the other three watching him. When Heero's shadowy form was finally lost from view they turned to each other and smiled grimly. Tonight was a night they had planned for a long time. Nodding at Trowa and Wufei the blond boy got to his feet and snuck up the stairs.
It was pitch black in the hallway, but Heero had excellent senses and used them to their fullest. Finding the second door down, he quietly pushed it open and closed it behind him. If possible the room he shared with Duo was even darker than the hallway. Trying not to trip over anything Duo might have left lying around; he made his way over to his bed.
Quickly he shimmied out of his jeans and sweater and crawled under the cold quilts that Quatre had so thoughtfully supplied them with. I am the perfect soldier, I don't feel cold. At least that's what Heero told himself over and over even as his teeth began to chatter. He heard soft breathing sounds in the otherwise silent room and relaxed as best he could. Drifting off to sleep he thought he heard Duo shift and roll over. Just my imagination, he's sound asleep. And with that, Heero succumbed to Morpheus.
Duo shifted under his blankets and looked over in the direction of the gentle sound of Heero's breathing. Climbing as noiselessly from under the covers as he could he crawled over the other bed and stood above it. It's too dark to see anything in this room, he moaned silently inside his mind. Since there were no lights to be had in the house, he decided he would just content himself with listening to Heero sleep for a while.
Quatre climbed the stairs effortlessly and found his way down the hall to the first door. Entering the chilly room, he searched for the candle he'd left for himself earlier. Finding it where he had placed it, he pulled a pack of matches from his pocket and lit the wick. Letting his eyes adjust to the sudden brightness he moved swiftly to the door that connected this room to Heero and Duo's chamber.
The plan was simple enough. After many months watching the two boys cast shy looks at each other, the other pilots had decided maybe they needed a little push. They seemed distracted from battle lately, probably from trying to watch each other constantly. It was one thing to guard each other's back, but to merely watch was an entirely different matter. So they had decided to drive the other two together, whether they were ready for it or not.
Leaning his ear against the door adjoining the two rooms he listened intently for a moment then nodded. Good, they were already in bed. With no electricity, what with Trowa having cut the lines earlier, there was no fear that anything would be seen. Wufei had decided to take no chances and had even disabled all the flashlights and hidden the candles.
Grinning to himself Quatre walked over to the closet and raised his candle high. Silently opening the door, he reached in behind the clothes within and pulled out a large silver canister. Luckily, Wufei had found this at one of the Oz bases they had attacked not long ago. It was from an experiment designed to distract nations. But the three pilots had decided they could find a better use for it. After burning the laboratory to the ground, they'd stolen it and all the notes they could scrounge.
Once more going over to the door between the rooms he connected a thin tube to the spout on the canister. Kneeling he placed the hose under the door. Taking some industrial tape from his pocket he sealed up the cracks running around the doorframe. Standing back to admire his handy work, he nodded to himself. Everything seemed to be going according to the plan. Smiling he turned the nozzle on the metal cylinder that would release the colorless, odorless gas into the other room. Then he quickly made his way to the door, pausing to blow out his candle and tuck it back where it had been.
Wufei and Trowa were downstairs waiting for him as Quatre descended; expectant looks on their faces. Giving them a curt nod, he sat once more in Trowa's lap and grinned. Very soon now things would start to happen. The gas was a mix of a mild hallucinogenic and two forms of aphrodisiacs. Not wanting to take any chances the three boys had tested it on themselves a few weeks ago, when Heero and Duo were off together on a mission. It had worked, and worked well. The orgy that had ensued lasted for nearly two days before they finally came down from the high that the gas induced.
Duo was dreaming, at least that's what he told himself when he felt the cold fingers sliding across his stomach. The last thing he remembered was standing by Heero's bed listening to the other boy's quiet breathing. He shivered now and opened his eyes only to find he couldn't see anything. But he could still feel those icy hands caressing him. Maybe I'm not dreaming he thought as the frozen fingers started to trail lower.
"Heero?" His voice shook as his words fell into the blackness of the room. There was no response, but the hands paused for a moment and seemed to actually be considering this name. Feeling dazed, Duo reached out and felt for the arms that were connected to these apparently disembodied hands. Gripping the solidity he found, he pulled gently. The blankets were briefly lifted from him and a warm body climbed into the bed.
Turning onto his side he moved closer to the silent body next to him. He snuggled against it and trailed a hand down the immobile muscled form. Patterns seemed to dance in front of his blind eyes as he tried to see Heero. It has to be Heero, who else would it be? But just the same, he was bothered by something he couldn't seem to put his finger on.
Heero smelled different, that's what it was. Usually the dark haired boy had a strangely satisfying odor of smoke and soap. But tonight he smelled... different. Duo was unable to figure out exactly why, but he knew something had changed. The cold hands ran down his back and he shivered uncontrollably for a moment. Something was wrong here, but his mind refused to focus as the hands slid down his shaking body.
"H-heero?" Still no one answered him. He swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat, stilling when soft lips touched his. Warm lips, cold hands, but his mind seemed disabled; there was something missing. As a hot tongue glided into his unresisting mouth, he realized whoever was kissing him wasn't breathing. Aww, he's holding his breath thought Duo. Sliding his hands along the chest of the shadowed form. He was suddenly chilled to realize there was no heart beating under his fingers either.
Heero shot straight up in bed. He could have sworn a scream nearby had awakened him. He strained in the darkness trying to hear something, anything. Then he realized he couldn't hear Duo breathing in the black void of the room. Easing his hand underneath the pillow he carefully slid out his gun.
"Duo?" he whispered softly. No answer came to him from the silent bed across the way. Goosebumps ran down his back as he slowly eased from under the covers. He paused listening intently for any movement or sign that someone was in the room with him. But all that could be heard was his own rapidly beating heart. Unexpectedly a cold hand clamped down on his forearm. Whirling and raising his gun he aimed for where the body of his attacker should be.
"Duo?" The grip on his arm suddenly lessened, though the fingers were still ice cold. His arms were spread to either side of his body and a warm figure wrapped itself around him. He's hugging me? Was all Heero was able to think about for a moment. The icy hands drifted down his back and pulled him more tightly against the feverish body. His hands are so cold, but his body feels like it's burning up, thought Heero. He couldn't seem to think of why this odd fact disturbed him so much.
Before he could bring his mind to bear on the situation a mouth was touching his. Opening his lips slightly, Heero slid into the heat of that strange kiss. The more he tried to think of what was making him so uneasy the more he forgot to wonder about it. The cold hands were pushing him back towards his bed while the heated mouth stayed with his. Not resisting this silent request, Heero dropped his gun to the floor and crawled under the blankets. The soundless body followed and slid in beside him.
With slightly trembling fingers Heero touched the face of the only person he would ever love. He grazed a rounded cheek with one finger and surrendered his mouth once again to the overwhelmingly hot tongue that entered him. Moaning softly, he rubbed against the smooth, molten body lying next to him. The freezing hands slid down his stomach making him gasp as a chill ran through him. Abruptly the kissing stopped and Heero began to shiver for a different reason as that hot mouth traveled down his neck. The searing tongue flickering over the hollow of his throat and proceeding leisurely towards his chest.
He gripped the shoulders of the dark figure, and let his head fall back with a groan when sharp teeth clamped onto one of his hardened nipples. The chilly hands followed along closely as the heat of the feverish lips caressed his body. He wound his fingers through silky hair and sighed in relief when he felt the braid. For some strange reason he hadn't quite believed it was Duo. Once more all thought fled as the warm lips placed soft kisses on his abdomen, the cool hands tugging at his shorts. His boxers were slid off, and he started panting as icy fingers wrapped around his throbbing erection.
When the heated mouth slid over the tip of his hardness, he gasped and tugged on the soft hair in his hands. The combined absolutes warred with his already weakened senses, as he mindlessly thrust into the burning lips wrapping so solidly around him. He shivered uncontrollably as a chill hand stroked down his arching back and cupped his ass. Heero could feel himself riding a giant tidal wave of lust that soon would crash and destroy him.
Just as he was about to smash into edge of erotic supremacy an icy finger delved into his hot body and made him cry out with the suddenness of the act. He bit his lip as another cold digit followed the first and then both began pumping into his tight, aching hole.
"You know this is actually getting kinda good."
"Well I told you it would be once I got going. Now shut up so I can start winding this Tale of Horrifying Lust up." The narrator straightens his shoulders and begins once more.
"I just think it's really, getting interesting, that's all, sheesh do you have to be so uptight?"
"I heard that!" The narrator glowers and clears his throat. Then in more calm and soothing tone of voice continues his story.
"Meanwhile downstairs in the lightly glowing kitchen, three boys sat ... "
Wufei cleared his throat and looked up at his friends. Both were alert, waiting to hear what he'd found.
"It has side affects." He stated simply.
Worried that their little plan might go wrong somehow, they'd fished out the crumpled notes that they'd found about the gas. Sitting in the kitchen with only a single candle for light, they had each taken a handful of papers to study.
Quatre nodded for him to go on, and he did so, glancing briefly at the papers held in his trembling fingers.
"It was nicknamed the Death Shock, apparently this side affect was not a good one. It caused the heart to stop beating and the body to cease breathing while keeping everything else going."
Trowa glanced at him quickly and raised an eyebrow. "So your saying it kept you alive while all other functions stopped?" Heavy emotions seemed to ride just beneath his normally monotone voice.
Wufei nodded, and read aloud from the pages he held. "It also seems to raise the body temperature of its victim to a very high degree. After a few hours the body begins to grow accustomed to the irregular temperature and a death-like coldness starts at the fingertips and ends at the wrists of each victim." He paused before going on, trying to keep his hands steady.
"While normally this would not seem very radical in and of itself, an abnormal solidarity does attract our notice. The aphrodisiacal aspects of formula 138-A and 42-B, when combined with the psychological and euphoric qualities of 7-C, create the inability within the sufferer to focus on what's happening to them, while the sexual desire of the victim is heightened." Wufei stopped reading and looked at Trowa and Quatre. None of them seemed to be feeling happy about their little plan now.
"There's more," said the black-eyed boy, his gaze locking with Trowa's for a moment before looking down at the notes again. "It is also noted that the sexual desires and appetites of the subject can be near instantaneously transferred to anyone by a single touch. Prolonged interaction will merely speed up the process." Wufei put down the papers and stared at his hands for a long moment.
"D-do you think that might have happened to Duo and Heero? There wasn't that much gas left in the tank, they didn't get as much of a dose as we did." Quatre sounded unsure of himself and looked down at the table.
"It might be why we haven't heard anything in over an hour. You know the chimney carries sound down beside the fireplace where that little picture is blocking the hole in the wall. We should have heard something by now!" Trowa actually shouted the last sentence. The other two jumped and looked at each other.
"We better go check." Wufei said standing up and glaring at his friends.
"But, if we touch them we'll get it too. We have to dress for this; I noticed some wet suits in the garage earlier. They're full body, so they'll be better protection then just our clothes." Quatre got up and took another candle from the small pile on the table. Lighting it, he left silently, nodding to Wufei and Trowa.
"Let's go listen and see if we can hear anything coming down through that hole." Wufei nodded in agreement with Trowa and they quickly made there way back to the living room.
Quatre came back into the kitchen. Dropping the armload of wetsuits into an empty chair, he went to go check on the others. "Hear anything yet?" He asked, concern in his voice.
"No, not yet. At least, we can't hear any voices, but there are bizarre sounds coming from up there." Wufei turned mystified eyes on Quatre.
Trowa spoke up softly, "I think I know what those sounds are Wufei. But there should be other sounds accompanying them."
Quatre raised one golden eyebrow, "Are those other sounds what I think they are?"
"Yeah, but... when we used the gas didn't we make a lot of noise?" Wufei asked.
Quatre laughed, "Did we ever! It's a good thing no one was around to hear us. Even Trowa was noisy." He smiled, remembering those two days of depravity.
A small smile graced Trowa's lips then he frowned. "Duo would definitely make noise. Heero might not, but we all know Duo would."
The other two nodded silently in agreement. "Then it's probably affected both of them." Wufei said miserably, his eyes downcast.
"Well, the wetsuits are in the kitchen. Let's make a plan and get moving. I don't like waiting any longer then we have too." The blonde boy stood up straighter, becoming serious once more.
"Right, let's get going." Trowa said calmly, and stood up to follow his beloved back into the kitchen. Wufei paused by the chimney for a moment longer, listening intently to the soft slapping sounds coming from upstairs, then followed his friends.
In the upper bedroom, two bodies slammed into each other forcefully. Their minds were completely blank, utterly devoid of anything resembling thought. All that could be felt was sexual desire, a craving that had taken over their entire beings.
No moans broke through the darkness, any soft entreaties, pleas, and gasps were lost long ago. The slapping sound of two bodies coming together for an eternity was all that penetrated the night of the room. And yet even in this delirious state, pleasure came first.
The bed squeaked slightly, a small groan from old bedsprings. If there were light in this shadowy bedroom, two boys would be seen. One with a long braid half undone cascading over a writhing body beneath him. This boy's eyes are shut, his mouth open in a silent scream of primal lust.
The boy beneath him barely visible beyond the dark curtain of hair had strong legs wrapped around the body above, arms snaking through the silken tresses curtaining both.
The body above freezes for a moment, the head flinging back, revealing teeth in a wide grimace of painful release. If there had been any noise coming from his throat perhaps it would have been a scream of pure ecstasy. But nothing broke the silence, except for the sound of the bedsprings as he moved to lie beside the boy beneath himself.
Immediately the boy that had been beneath him climbed up onto his satiated body. White teeth flashed as he nipped on the smooth column of neck. His hips thrust, his cold hands caressed the burning flesh. If words could have been formed perhaps they would have been coaxing, pleading. The silent figure might have whispered "my turn".
Three wetsuit clad boys slowly made there way up the stairs. Each held a candle in their hands, their feet silent on the old boards. Their faces flickered in the candlelight, making them appear shadowed and veiled. They paused on the landing for a moment, listening. Still no voices were heard. A faint rhythmic sound came from down the hall, behind the second door.
Motioning with his candle Trowa took the lead and walked softly towards the first door. Carefully he entered the room. Quatre came up behind him and headed for the door that joined the two rooms. He knelt down and turned off the gas that had been pumping into the other room. Trowa tilted his head to one side quizzically.
"In case it's still releasing the gas." Whispered Quatre in explanation, Trowa nodded.
Wufei stood to one side his head cocked towards the other room. "I think they've stopped." He turned fearful eyes towards Trowa and Quatre. "Do you think... they're dead?"
Quatre shook his head vigorously. "No, they can't be. It's only a side affect. It, it can't kill them can it?"
"We better check." Trowa whispered, starting to remove the tape from around the doorframe with his free hand. Quatre and Wufei helped, moving briskly. Finally all the tape was removed, silence came from the other room.
Nodding slightly, Trowa carefully turned the knob and held his candle high.
The door creaked open on old hinges. Candlelight revealed two soundlessly struggling forms on one of the beds. Trowa stepped into the room and stopped, staring at the figures on the bed. They most definitely were not dead. Heero was taking Duo from behind, his hands gripping the other boys hips fiercely. His expression was one of complete abandon as he pumped into the silent boy below him.
Quatre entered the room slowly and stood to one side of Trowa, he reached out and took the proffered hand, as he too watched the drugged boys. Trowa felt himself grow hard as he continued staring, he felt an answering shudder vibrate down Quatre's arm and into the hand he was holding. Just watching couldn't hurt, as long as they didn't get physically touched they were fine. Or so they thought.
Only Wufei realized that the room, which had been sealed before, must still be filled with the gas. Backing up slowly, he tripped on the empty canister still standing behind him and fell with a loud thud to the floor. But none of the boys in the room turned to look. Already the gas was seeping into them, seeping into him.
As the two on the bed started to reach their pinnacle a faint squeaking sound could be heard coming from the ancient bedsprings. Quatre's grip tightened on the hand he was holding, he held his breath and as he waited for the finale.
Heero's back bowed into a mighty arch, his body quivering for a moment. His eyes were closed so tightly that it seemed as if they might become sealed forever. His mouth opened wide but emitted no sound. Then he collapsed onto Duo, his arms wrapping around the slim waist, his legs sliding between the other boys. They fell onto the bed, no pants or moans breaking the absolute silence.
Duo's eyes opened and he gazed at the three boys who had entered the room. Wufei felt a shiver go down his back at the look in those amethyst eyes. There no longer seemed to be any soul in the braided boy, his eyes were completely devoid of their usual light. Heero opened his eyes as well and looked at the boys in front of the open door. His lips curled away from his teeth in a feral smile, his hands clenching on the sheets beneath his fingers.
Sliding off the bed slowly, both boys approached as if they were hunting prey. The three at the door didn't move, they were to far gone to run now. Instead Quatre let go of the hand he'd been holding and met the hunters half way. Instantly, Duo wrapped his arms around the smaller boy. His hands impatiently sliding along the wetsuit Quatre still wore. The blonde smiled and unzipped, slipping first his arms and then the rest of his body out of the black suit.
Heero in the meantime had pounced on Trowa, his hands clawing at the rubber outfit the other boy was wearing. Then finding the zipper, he quickly stripped the banged boy of his protection and began licking his way down the sleek chest that was exposed. Trowa shivered as Heero's icy hands slid into his pants.
Completely spellbound by all that was going on, Wufei sat on the floor where he'd fallen. His hands were already slipping his wetsuit off, his eyes glazed as he thought of nothing but the pleasure of sliding into one of the other boys. Throwing the suit behind him, he stood and approached the others.
Quatre's eyes were closed, the hands caressing his now bare skin were freezing, but the body rubbing against him was blistering. His thoughts were rapidly becoming completely chaotic as Duo's mouth melded with his and those icy fingers slid along his back. Suddenly a pair of warm hands and an even warmer body enveloped him from behind. He turned his head and opened his eyes. Wufei pressed against him, a look of lost passion on his face, his hips grinding into Quatre forcefully.
The trio soon found themselves on the floor, as all attention became fixated on one goal. Next to them Heero and Trowa were already taking each other with their mouths, their hands tracing paths over each other's heated flesh.
Quatre turned his head and gazed at Trowa, then he reached out a hand and stroked the bare thigh that was within his reach. Trowa shivered when he felt the warm hand graze his leg. Moving his hips he slid out of Heero's mouth and shifted position so he could face the blonde boy. As Quatre slid his tongue into Trowa's mouth, he felt the green-eyed boy's body briefly stiffen and then relax. Opening his eyes he could just see Heero start to pump slowly into Trowa from behind.
Quatre slithered along the floor until his aching arousal was beneath Trowa's hungry lips. The tall boy bent his head and took it in, his wet mouth sliding along its length before engulfing it completely. Already Quatre could feel his hands growing colder, his mind melting into pure lust. The side affects were transferring already, but no one seemed to care anymore. In the strangely silent room the only noise came from the sound of skin upon skin. Flesh within flesh.
The narrator stops speaking, and slides his hood off.
"That's it?! But what happened next? Did they die? Did they go on forever? I can't believe you stopped there!"
"Alright, fine. There's a little more to tell. Calm down." The narrator rolls his eyes.
" Phew." <wipes forehead>
"It seems that if Wufei had bothered to read the next few pages in those lab notes, he would have found out that the side affects wore off in about four hours. There for in this story of absolutely horrifying lust, no one dies; it doesn't go on forever, and as for what happened next. Well, what do you think happened next?" The narrator pulls out his braid and sniffs daintily.
"They banged like rabid bunnies for days on end? Oh no, that's right, the side affects wore off in four hours. Ok, so they banged like rabid bunnies for the next few hours?"
<eyes the narrator's long braid thoughtfully>
A slow smile spreads across the narrators face. "It could have happened like that. But I guess you'll never know." With a wide grin, the narrator picks up his robes and sprints for the nearest exit.
"What?! Your dead meat if you think you can just end it there! Dammit Duo! Tell me the rest!"
The end... . Or is it?