Disclaimers: Nope, don't own it.

Pairings: 1x2, past 6x2, Rx1, 6x5, 3x4
Rating: NC-17 overall
Warnings: AU, Cheesy romance novel-ish, bitchy!Relena (because I haven't done one in years), lemons, bad attempts at humor

Notes: For Sunhawk's "Embrace Your Cliché Month." Inspired by all the trashy romance novels I've been reading lately.

The Medallion
Part the Second: Incubi in My Bed
by Caroline

Duo crashed onto his bed, sighing in content as his head hit the pillow. The monkey suit was laying in a heap on the floor, and even though he knew he ought to hang it up so it wouldn't look like an old, wrinkled chimp when he took it back to the rental place in the morning, he couldn't be bothered. He hadn't even had the energy to pull on his sleep shirt. The weather was still warm enough to get away with sleeping au natural, though he wouldn't be able to say that in a week or two. Autumn was in the air, and soon he'd be into another cold, lonely winter.

He reached up to flip on the light next to his bed. The coin he'd taken from Relena's study lay on the night stand. He picked it up, rolling to his side to hold it under the light. He'd been right - the coin was old. In fact, he wasn't even sure it was a coin. It didn't look like any of the old coins he'd seen when Zechs had dragged him to museums. It was extremely heavy. Too heavy to be a coin. Maybe it was some kind of ancient medallion or medal.

One side was so worn he couldn't make out what had been etched on it. Some kind of writing he thought, but it was no longer legible. The other side, however, hardly had any signs of wear and tear. When he tilted it into the light, he gasped and nearly dropped it.

It was a portrait of a man reclining on a divan. A very handsome man. A very handsome *naked* man. Duo had to wipe the thin string of drool that escaped the corner of his mouth. Whoever the artist was had been a masterful genius. The medallion was so incredibly detailed, Duo could almost see the man's muscles rippling under his smooth silver skin. He had a slight exotic look to him, almost Asian, with bed-tousled hair and a "come fuck me" expression on his little silver face. One arm was stretched above his head, hanging off the divan. The other was resting on his stomach, right above his...

Duo swallowed and had to remind himself that breathing was a good thing. The artist hadn't skimped on the details. The man's cock lay heavy against his belly, engorged and ready for some lucky lover. Duo licked his lips, letting his own hand slide down his stomach, cupping his growing erection as he stared at the man on the medallion. He stroked himself to full hardness, his mouth falling open as if he could take that perfect cock into it. He pictured himself swirling his tongue over the head, lapping up the seeping fluid before taking the man whole in his mouth. He could almost feel his jaw stretch as he tried to take the man in. His hand moved up and down rapidly as he felt his imaginary lover's hands bury themselves in his hair, whispering to him in an unknown language, urging him to take more of his cock down his throat.

He could hear the man moan - or was it his own voice? He rolled onto his back, spreading his legs, offering himself to the man on the silver couch. He couldn't take his eyes off the medallion. He heard the man call out his name, felt his fingers tighten in his hair. Duo stiffened as he felt his imaginary lover arch his back, crying out and spilling himself deep, deep into Duo's mouth...

Duo let out a strangle cry, dropping the coin as his own orgasm overtook him and he came hard, stringy drops of seed clinging to his chest and spurting him on the chin.

"Feh!" He wiped his mouth with his non-sticky hand and collapsed back against the pillows, breathing hard and staring dazedly at the ceiling.

Damn. That had been intense. His fantasies didn't usually get that real and usually involved a bottle of hand lotion and a copy of "How the West Was Hung." He threw an arm over his eyes, breathed in deep and exhaled with laughter. Zechs was right. He really did need to get laid. Jerking off to a piece of cold, hard metal was not his idea of a good time, no matter how enjoyable it had been. And that only made him laugh even more when he tried to picture Relena's face if she ever found out. Her face would turn so red her head might explode.

Still chuckling at the image of Relena's head doubling as one of Gallagher's watermelons, he reached over to grab some tissues in an attempt to clean himself off. He tossed them to the floor when he was done, then rolled over, snuggling down under the sheets. He picked up the coin and looked at it again, tracing the outline of the man on the divan. He brought it to his lips and kissed it, then feeling foolish, slipped it under his pillow. Flipping the light off, he fluffed his pillow and closed his eyes. With any luck, he'd dream about his silver man tonight... even if it meant having to change the sheets in the morning.


Wet lips pressed against the side of his neck. He moaned, tilting his head to allow his lover access. He felt a hand pulling at his hair, unbinding it and combing through it with its fingers. He shivered. He loved it when they played with his hair. A solid body rolled partly on top of his own, and he gasped when the fingers left his hair to toy with a nipple. He eagerly let his legs fall open as a hard, muscled thigh slipped between them, pressing against his groin.

"Oh..." It was all he could say, drifting in his half-dream state.

"Allow me to pleasure you," a voice whispered silkily into his ear, the accent sending shivers down his spine.

"Mmm..." The hand abandoned his nipple and traveled down his side, over his lip and down his leg to lift his knee. Duo curled around his lover, clinging fast. When the wandering hand reached underneath him, seeking hidden places, he jumped... cracking his head against the headboard.

"Ow!" His eyes flew open and he reached up to rub his head. Damn it! He wanted to cry, and not just from the bump on his head. Just when the dream was getting good...

"Are you all right?" his dream lover asked, breathing heavily into his ear.

"Kyah!!" Duo threw himself across the bed only to get his feet tangled in the sheets and his hair caught under the heavy weight of... whoever it was in his bed. He toppled over, crying out as he was sent ass over ear off the bed, landing on his back which caused all the air to leave his body in a whoosh.

He lay there, stupefied, staring at the ceiling, thinking he really ought to respackle someday, his arms stretched out on either side of them and his legs still caught in the sheets.

A dark shadow blocked his view of the ceiling as it leaned over the edge of the bed to look down at him. Duo blinked up at him. In the dim light from the streetlamp outside, he could see the other blinking down at him. Neither of them said anything for a moment. Then the figure moved, reaching a hand down to him.

"Let's get you back into bed," he said, his voice sliding over Duo's bare skin like silk.

Unfortunately for the stranger, Duo had never cared much for silk. Too girly. He screamed again, kicking his way free of the sheets and scrambling to his feet. He felt around the night stand, almost knocking his lamp over as he fumbled for the switch. As soon as the light flooded the room, Duo grabbed his phone, holding it out in front of him as if to ward the stranger off like some vampire slayer of the cellular age.

"Who the fuck are you?" he shouted, his hair falling in a tangled mass in front of him.

"I am yours."

The stranger moved more fully into the light and for the second time that night, Duo had his breath stolen from him. The man was gorgeous. Blue eyes stared intensely at him from the slightly exotic features of his handsome face. Chocolate brown hair fell at odd angles around his face, making him look wanton. His trim, fit body positively gleamed in the light, muscles moving sinuously beneath olive skin. The man was utterly... fuckable.

Duo scrambled for the sheet on the floor to cover himself before he embarrassed himself.

"Okay, buddy. You've got three seconds to get outta my apartment or I'm gonna call the cops and maybe the National Guard on your... round... firm... ass..." Duo found it hard to breathe again as the man slid off the bed to stand in front of him. A strangled sound slipped from his throat as his eyes drifted south.

"You do not wish me to pleasure you?" the man asked, sounding confused.

Duo had to remind himself the man had a face. He snapped his eyes up, trying to remember what he'd just said. "Uh... where was I?"

"I believe your exact words were, 'Gah bibble,'" the man replied, moving toward him.

"Huh? Oh!" Duo's knees hit the back of the chair in the corner of his room and he fell into it, barely missing the family jewels on the arm.

The man knelt in front of him, lifting Duo's bare foot off the floor and kissed the top before moving to nibble at his ankle.

Duo melted. "Oh god... yes... I mean, no!" He snatched his foot back, curling it under himself. "Who *are* you?"

"I am Heero. And for the next month, I am yours, to use in any way you will have me."

Duo almost bit through his lip at the mental images rolling through his mind as the man continued to kneel gloriously naked before him.

"Is this Zechs' idea of a joke?"

"I do not know this 'Zechs.'" Heero said, leaning into him. "I am an incubus."

"Incubus? Is that the name of a band?" The man looked familiar. Perhaps he'd been one of the musicians at Relena's party.

Heero's hands found Duo's other leg and he used his fingers to ghost a path up Duo's calf. Duo shivered, mesmerized by the heat in the other man's eyes.

"No, I am an incubus, a cursed being. You have freed me from my prison and I am yours to do with what you will for one cycle of the moon." The hands slipped under the sheet.

"F-freed you? From what?" It was getting damn hard to think with the temperature of the room rising.

"From the medallion. I am its slave."

Duo blinked at him, then shouted, jumping to his feet and dislodging the man's hand. "You're the guy on the coin!"


"What the... how the... holy fuck!"

The man rose to his feet in one smooth motion, grabbing Duo by the arms and pulling him close. Duo groaned aloud as he felt Heero's obvious - way obvious - desire against his hip. The man dipped his head to suckle on Duo's shoulder.

"And fuck is what I wish to do. I can assure you that I am a most... capable lover."

Duo let his knees buckle. He slumped against Heero, then let himself drop to the floor. Heero was on him in an instant, pushing him back to lie on the ground.

"Oh no you don't, Coin Boy!" Duo rolled, putting some distance between himself and the incubus. "I want to know where you came from and what you're doing here. I'm in no mood to be fucked with."

Heero's eyes dropped to where the sheet had slipped. "I do believe that says otherwise."

Duo cursed and adjusted the sheet, his cheeks burning in embarrassment. "Who are you really?"

The man - incubus - whatever - sighed, looking vaguely disappointed. He sat back against the bed, not in the least bit body shy as he made no move to cover himself. Duo was having a hard time not letting his eyes wander.

"My name is Heero Yuy. I was born in Phoenicia over a century before your Christ was born."

"Wait, wait," Duo interrupted, confused. "You mean to tell me you're over..."

"Two thousand years old? Yes."

"Damn." Duo sat back. "Uh, you've aged well. You don't look a day over uh... a thousand."

Heero inclined his head toward Duo. "Thank you."

"No problem."

"I was a shipwright. I built boats. I was commissioned to build a ship for a noblewoman - a sorceress. I came to realize she had more interest in me than in her ship. When I rejected her offer to share her bed, she cursed me. The medallion became my home. I became a slave."

Duo nodded. That's how it always went in the storybooks. "She was a hag, right? Bet she had a wart as big as a quarter on her nose." He couldn't believe the guy was able to tell him this cockamamie tale - naked - with a straight face.

"On the contrary, she was the most beautiful woman on the three continents."

"Why'd you turn her down then?"

The man - Heero - walking sex on legs - blushed. "I... do not care for the pleasures of... women."

"Oh." He thought about it for a minute. "Oh!"

"Yes. Because I preferred the company of men, she cursed me to become slave to women, pleasuring them in all the ways I knew how, becoming their slave for one month's time before I returned to my metal prison."

"But... I'm not a woman," Duo replied.

Heero smirked, raking his gaze over Duo's form. "I noticed. You have no idea how pleased I was to find myself in a man's bed tonight." He got to his knees and crawled toward Duo. "An extremely... beautiful... man." He hovered over Duo and licked his lips.

"I'm going to be an extremely pissed off man if you don't back off, buddy."

Heero's shoulders slumped in defeat and he sat back. Duo could have sworn he was pouting. He looked around, then reached for the phone from where it had fallen on the floor.

"Will you be calling the National Guard after all?" the man asked, looking extremely disappointed.

"Worse," Duo replied, pressing his speed dial. "Ex-boyfriend."

on to part the third

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