One Halloween Knight
by Caroline and [ Kwycksylver ]
"Are you going to help or are you just going to stand there?" Duo asked, his head buried neck deep in a rack of shimmering yet musty-smelling polyester.
"We should have decided on something before we came down here," Heero replied, pushing away a Frankenstein costume, complete with fake bolts to glue to one's neck, in a half-hearted attempt to appear as though he were helping.
"I tried that. You kept avoiding the subject," his lover said as he reemerged from the racks, a flowing black cape in his hands.
"Absolutely not," Heero said firmly, crossing his arms.
"Why not?" Duo swirled the cape around himself, settling the fabric around his shoulders. He held up one cape-covered arm in front of his chest and bared his teeth. "I vant to suck your..."
"I know what you want to suck, Duo, but you're not going as a vampire."
Duo dropped his arm, pouting. "I thought you liked it when I sucked."
"I do. But last time you left the teeth in and one of your fake canines got stuck in a very sensitive place," Heero said, wincing in memory.
Duo frowned. "Yeah. That did put a damper on the evening." He drew the cape off and shoved it back onto the tightly packed rack. "So, got any suggestions?"
"We could always go as Preventers."
Duo rolled his eyes. "We're Preventers three hundred and sixty-four days of the year. And I am not going to Winner's party in my work uniform." He moved to another rack, shoving superhero and devil costumes out of the way to pluck a pirate costume off its hanger. "Argh, matey! How would ye feel about going as me saucy pirate wench? I wear the patch and you shiver me timbers."
"I am not crossdressing this year," Heero said, calculating the distance to the nearest exit and estimating his chances of making it out alive should he decide to make a run for it.
Duo sighed. "You're no fun at all."
"I went as Little Bo Peep last year. You promised I wouldn't have to wear the dress this year." He made an attempt to grab the pirate costume from Duo. "You know, I could always go as the pirate and you could..."
"If you value your testicles, you won't finish that sentence," Duo said, pulling the costume out of Heero's reach and returning it to the rack. He took a step back and surveyed the choices before him. "Okay. We need a theme." He ran his hands over a tunic that looked like it could have come straight from a high school Shakespearean play. "Oooh. Famous couples."
"I'm not playing Juliet to your Romeo," Heero said, eying the tights that went with the tunic, wondering if it would be worth giving in and wearing the dress just to see Duo in tights.
Duo snorted. "It doesn't have to be an actual couple. Maybe Romeo eloped with Juliet's cousin, Paris, instead." He reached out and fingered the tights, frowning. "Or maybe not."
Heero reluctantly pulled out a toga. "Caesar and Marc Antony?"
Duo laughed. "As much as I'd love to see you in a toga, babe, it is supposed to be chilly on Halloween. I'd like something with sleeves at least."
Heero nodded, trying not to show his relief.
Duo moved to another rack. "Napoleon and Wellington?"
"I don't think either one of us could do Napoleon justice," Heero replied. He pulled out a feathered headdress. "Sitting Bull and Custer?"
"Would give a whole new meaning to 'Custer's last stand,' wouldn't it?" Duo snickered as he pulled out a tweed jacket. "Holmes and Watson?"
"Too elementary," Heero replied, moving down the line. He paused at a fur-lined tunic, of better quality than the Romeo costume, made of deep blue velvet emblazoned with a golden lion on the front and accented with gold trim. There was a cape attached, the same deep blue velvet and lined with gold satin. A pair of black boots and a "jewel" encrusted sword and crown completed the ensemble. Heero pulled it off the rack and held it up against himself, checking the tag. Luck was with him. It was in his size.
Duo turned, his eyes widening as he saw the costume Heero held in front of him. "Ooh. King Arthur!"
Heero nodded. "I like it. And I think you'd make a perfect..."
"If you say Guinevere, I'm going to take that sword and shove it some place very uncomfortable."
"...Lancelot," Heero finished, his ass tightening in frightened response.
"Oh. Well of course. Lancelot *was* the beautiful one, after all." Duo turned to the rack and extracted a different tunic, this one a deep purple with a silver cross stitched onto the front. It was of a similar style to the one Heero held, only instead of a crown and a cape, it came attached with a metallic hood, signifying a knight rather than a king.
"So you theorize it wasn't Guinevere's bed Lancelot crawled into, but Arthur's, hmm?" Duo said, checking the size on the tag.
"I always wondered why he would prefer a skinny little queen over the handsome king," Heero replied, scooping up the boots that went with the outfit.
"There's no accounting for taste," Duo said, hefting the sword that came with the Lancelot costume. "So we'll just have to rewrite the legend where the devastatingly handsome king is seduced by his knight in shining armor. The king is helpless against the knight's pure heart..."
"You mean his dirty mind?"
"Hush. This is my story."
"I see it as the other way around, you know," Heero replied, looking around, trying to find his bearings in the rat maze of the costume shop.
"I think the king would have been the seducer, since as the king, his wish would have been your command."
Duo raised an eyebrow. "You think so?"
"Of course. I am the king. You must obey me in all things."
"And you think just because you have a crown your word is law?"
"No. It's because I have the bigger sword." He glanced around and, noticing there was no one else around, stepped into Duo, pressing him against a rack of French maid costumes. He rubbed his cheek against Duo's, breathing heavily into the man's ear. "Besides, you wouldn't put up too much of a fight would you? I'm not a harsh sovereign."
He heard Duo swallow. "It depends on what my liege wishes me to do."
"Nothing outrageous. At least, not in public." He pushed Duo's costume out of the way in order to press a leg between his lover's. "But after the party, when we're alone, the king may wish his knight to help him disrobe."
Duo gasped loudly, tilting his head to allow Heero's lips greater access. "I... I think I can handle that. It is... ahh... a knight's duty to act as his king's squire."
"Mmm," Heero murmured against the heated flesh of Duo's neck. "And after that, he will need to polish the king's sword."
Duo groaned and used his free hand to slip under Heero's shirt. "And then?"
"Then the king may have his knight demonstrate his riding skills." He bit down at the juncture of Duo's neck hard enough to leave a mark.
Duo shivered. "Riding skills, huh? To make sure he is really up to being a knight?"
Heero smiled against Duo's shoulder. "Oh, I'm sure he'll be up to it." Hearing voices in the next aisle over, he reluctantly pulled away from his partner.
Duo wobbled on shaky legs, trying to adjust the front of his pants as discreetly as possible. "Just remember. It's also a knight's duty to make sure his liege is up to any kingly task."
Heero raised an eyebrow. "I suppose it is."
"After all, a king must have both strength and stamina," his lover replied with a cocky grin.
"He must also lead by example," Heero added, bending to pick up the crown which had been dislodged during the groping.
Duo snorted. "If that's the case, when did any of the knights of Camelot have time to rescue maidens and slay dragons?"
Heero shrugged. "Perhaps they rescued the dragons and slew the maidens."
Duo snickered. "That's true. That would certainly be the case of one tall, blond knight." He shifted his costume in his arms and winced.
"Are you all right?" Heero asked.
Duo nodded. "Yeah. Or no. Let's just hurry up and rent these. I don't think I could walk out of the store right now without embarrassing myself if I didn't have something to hold in front of me."
"My work here is done," Heero said smugly.
Duo punched him in the shoulder. "Just wait until I get you home, Yuy. I think this knight needs to teach his king some courtly manners."
Heero leaned in to breathe harshly against Duo's ear. "And I think this king needs to sheathe his sword. Over and over and..."
Duo groaned and took off running for the rental counter. Heero smirked and followed; Little Bo Peep would finally be avenged.