In our shared room each night after class, Heero lets his defenses down. Oh, it doesn't happen immediately, but as the evening passes, I see it shedding from him like a second skin.
He studies at his desk, his laptop open and his fingers in motion. Half the time I don't know if he's working on homework or his next mission. A mission I won't know about until it's too late and he's gone.
I sit on my bed, my legs folded in front of me, books spread around me, but I can't study. The night's anticipation leaves me a bit distracted. I know that when the lights go out things get interesting... real interesting.
Heero doesn't mind that I turn out the lights before he's done with whatever it is he's doing. The green glow from his laptop keeps me awake for a while, but gradually the sound of his typing lulls me to sleep, its rhythm a song to me. Minutes, possibly hours later, I wake to feel him next to me, curled around me. I want to see his face to know that it's really him, but it's too dark and I am tempted to switch the light back on. That would be a mistake for it's only in the dark that Heero does those wonderful things to me. He caresses my arms and my chest in slow circles, nuzzles my neck with his nose, nips at my ear lobes, kisses my bare shoulders... and so much more. Each night he gains a little more confidence, a little more brass as he realizes I won't push him away.
I love it when all I can hear is the rustle of sheets, our clothes coming off, and the sound of our heavy breathing... and the moans... always moans... but never words. I'm a little amazed that I do not speak, but the sounds of our lovemaking are just too hypnotic. They take me to another place and time, a world where we can be lovers always, not just in the dark confines of our boarding school room.
The mornings are toughest. I wake to find him already dressed and out of bed. Sometimes he's already gone, but today he's puttering about, getting his books ready for his class schedule. I greet him 'good morning,' but only get a grunt in return. I shiver, wondering if he remembers what we did last night... what he did to me... how he held me and kissed me and loved me with a tenderness I never knew he possessed... a tenderness no one knows he possesses.
I stare at him and am rewarded with what appears to be an indifferent glance. I know better. I'm sure he's aware of my nakedness under the sheets... he has to be... he was the one who undressed me. I love the look and the feel of the rumpled sheets about me... sheets we rumpled together in our lovemaking. That briefest look tells me he remembers, but it also tells me he's uncomfortable admitting it now. I suppose I could call him a bastard, tell him he's taking advantage of me, but it wouldn't be true. His touch is so sweet, his kisses so deep that only a fool would deny that they are given in love.
Of course I can't leave well enough alone. I want what we have at night in the daylight hours, too. And today's gonna be the day when I get it.
I catch up to him late in the morning. We're between classes and a lot of the students are socializing in the halls before the two-minute warning bell sounds. A small group has gathered around us and as usual I'm doing the talking for us both, but today I inch closer to him until our shoulders are touching. Heero doesn't move away. It doesn't seem like much, but everybody notices... the other students nudge each other and one even snickers. I blush, realizing this may not have been one of my better ideas, embarrassing us both in so public a place. Before I can retreat, Heero slips his arm around my waist and pulls me to him possessively. I gasp at his intensity, but am unable to catch my breath as his lips descend on mine.
It takes all of about three seconds for me to realize this is actually happening and to relax into the unexpected kiss, lingering in its sweetness. An eternity later I become aware of the applause. We pull apart, though Heero keeps me in his strong embrace. I turn to see the mix of shock and delight on our friends' faces... it draws a smile out of me. I look at Heero and am surprised to see he has never taken his knowing blue eyes from me.
"Is this what you wanted?" he asks in an even tone.
"Uh... yeah," I say, still a bit stunned.
"I thought so."
The warning bell sounds and he leans in and nuzzles my nose before slowly, gently releasing me. He picks up his book pack from the floor and is about to head off to class, but he stops, looks over his shoulder and says, "I'll see you at lights out."