All I Want for Christmas
Snow glimmered in the night sky as it tumbled down like flour through a sifter. It was Christmas Eve, and Duo sat on the sofa, between the twinkling, decorated tree and the window, cuddling his son.
He smiled as he looked down at Solo and pulled him a little closer. The boy was just five, an age of why's and newness, and Christmas the best day of the year. Against his better judgment, Duo had let the boy stay up, not having the heart to tell Solo that a man in a red suit would not be visiting their tiny apartment that night. It was now just after eleven o'clock, and staying up hadn't lasted much past ten. Solo had been sleeping in his arms for nearly an hour. Let the boy dream, Duo thought, and when he woke tomorrow morning to find gifts under the tree, he could continue to believe that Santa had really been there.
"Guess I should put you to bed."
Gently, he cradled the boy in his arms, snuggling him and smiling again. Solo was a remarkable and unexpected gift in his life. Over five years ago, Duo's best friend had asked him to help her fulfill her dream of becoming a mother by making a very special donation. After some hesitation, Duo agreed although nervous about the prospect of being a Dad-even just a biological one. But Solo's birth had been a joyous occasion and the new mother had taken on her role with care and love. And then, just ten months later she was gone-Duo's best friend and Solo's mother had been killed in a car accident. With no relatives to step forward and claim custody, Duo became a full-time father, struggling to re-arrange his bachelor life to accommodate this new responsibility. Now, four years later, he could not imagine life without his little guy, without the brightness that was Solo.
As Duo laid the boy clad in blue polar bear pajamas on the bed, Solo awakened, blinking heavy eyes at his father.
"Is it... Christmas?" Solo asked, rubbing his hands over his eyes.
"Not yet, buddy, but it won't be long now."
"Can I stay up a little longer? Santa will be here soon---"
"I think we'd best let Santa work in private. I've heard he's kind of shy."
"But I want to see Santa."
Duo chuckled. "What and take all the mystery away? Nothing doing. It's time for bed."
Duo raised his eyebrows at the whine that was starting and Solo snapped his mouth shout, turning it to a frown.
"Now let's get you tucked in."
"Can I get a glass of water first?"
This time Duo raised only one appraising brow. "It's a little late for that."
"Please, Daddy, then I'll promise to go right to bed." He smiled expectantly, now half sitting up, ready to jump into action.
"All right, but no dallying."
"Thanks!" the boy crowed, sliding off the bed. He trotted into the bathroom with Duo close behind.
The five year old was still too short to reach the faucet without a stool, but he was capable of getting the stepstool from under the pedestal sink and moving it in place.
Duo reached over, turning on the cold water. Solo liked the water to run for a minute, to get it extra cool, before he filled his plastic cup. The boy looked up at Duo and smiled, happy with the ritual and the chance to stay up just a few minutes longer.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Duo looked over his shoulder. "Sounds like someone's at the door."
"Don't be silly." Duo poked his head into the hall, peering towards the living room and listening carefully. "Must be the neighbors---"
Tap. Tap. Tap.
"Daddy, it's Santa!"
"It's not Santa, but whoever it is has a screw loose being out this late on Christmas Eve." Duo looked back down the corridor and then turned to his son. "Stay here, and don't splash water on the floor."
Solo scrunched up his face in mock protest and Duo shook his head as he left to respond to the knock on the door, quickly re-tucking his green button-down shirt into his jeans.
Walking into the living room, he turned on a lamp light and glanced at the clock. It was nearly 11:30. Who could be visiting at this hour?
"I bet it's Mrs. Ferguson, wanting me to come over for some hot chocolate."
Out of habit, he peeked through the peephole and then blinked. Was that a red hat with white trim? He looked again, this time squinting hard. And a full, white beard?
"Who is it?" he asked, suspiciously.
Duo laughed. Some joker was standing at his door dressed as Santa. "Yeah and I'm Mrs. Claus. Who is it really?"
"If you're the missus, then you must know me."
Duo blinked. "What?"
"Won't you let me in for some milk and cookies?"
Now the voice sounded familiar. "Shit," Duo said, shaking his head, and reluctantly opening the door. A half smile crept over his lips as he got his first full view of Heero in a Santa suit, hat flopped to one side. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"That's no way to talk to Santa."
"Yeah, well, you're no Santa, and I'm no Mrs. Claus, now get outta here."
"I said, get lost."
"Santa? Is that you?"
Duo spun around to see Solo standing just ten feet away, the boy's eyes wide and mouth gaping in awe.
"Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!" Heero brushed passed a dazed Duo to stand before the boy.
Heero crouched down. "Have you been a good boy this year?"
"Oh, yes. I've brushed my teeth everyday, and I make my bed... most of the time, and I don't throw rocks at Mr. Samuel's nasty old cat anymore."
Heero smiled. "Now that does sound like a good boy."
Duo folded his arms over his chest. He couldn't believe Heero was doing this. He had no right to burst in unannounced, pretending to be Old Saint Nick, and pretending that everything was right between them.
"It's time for bed, Solo."
"Oh, but Daddy!"
"But Daddy nothing. It's late and you're delaying Santa on his journey to bring gifts to all the children of the world."
Heero looked up at Duo and smirked. "Your Dad's right, Solo. You best get to bed."
"Are your reindeer on the roof?"
"That's right, but they won't wait long, so go on now."
Solo threw his arms around Santa's neck and gave him a big hug, and then laughed as he ran off down the hall.
Duo let out a deep sigh. "You've got a lot of nerve."
Heero stood to face him. "Look, it's Christmas, and I thought we could just---"
"What? Forget what a jerk you've been?"
Heero looked down the hall toward Solo's bedroom. "I got him something for Christmas. Is that all right?"
Duo very nearly declined the offer, remembering how Heero had disappeared from their lives. But still, he felt a twinge in his heart. "Okay."
Heero grinned and sat down his red velvet sack to take out the presents.
"Where'd you get that get-up, anyway?"
"I borrowed it."
For a borrowed Santa suit it was in great condition. The black boots were shined to military standards, the jacket, pants and hat retained their deep crimson hue, and the white faux fur trim and beard were bright and unsoiled. The fact that Heero was too skinny for the part and his dark bangs hung out from under the hat only made Duo grin. The young man looked cute, sexy even in this guise, in a fetish sort of way.
Out of the sack emerged two gifts, each wrapped in different, crisp holiday paper and topped with bows. Heero handed them to Duo, who shook his head and nodded toward the tree. With a grin, Heero took the gifts over to the tree and placed them under it. When he returned to stand by Duo at the door, he hesitated to leave.
Duo felt that old ache return as he stared at Heero, letting the barrier he had built against Heero melt just a bit with the thoughtfulness of the gifts and the get-up.
"I guess a thank you is in order."
Heero shook his head. "It was nothing."
"You know it's something. It's damn smart, in fact."
Heero raised an eyebrow, but didn't respond.
"So... thank you," Duo repeated.
Heero's eyes were locked on his, making Duo weak in the knees and weak to resist. They stepped toward each other, Duo moistening his lower lip with his tongue and raising his hand to that funky, fake beard held in place by an elastic band. He tugged on the beard, pulling it down from Heero's face, as he looked from Heero's eyes to his lips and back again. It had been so long. Duo just wanted to remember, just needed a little taste to remember...
He pressed his lips against Heero's, closing his eyes and breathing Heero in. God, it was good, better than he remembered, and when Heero began to move his lips on his, Duo felt his cheeks burning with the quickly renewed flame.
"Oh, my gosh!"
Duo pulled back, spinning around, his eyes wide, if not a little disoriented from the hot pulse in his veins. It was Solo. He was standing behind the couch, watching them.
"What are you doing out of bed?"
"Daddy, you kissed Santa!"
Duo swallowed, and threw Heero a glance. "Uh, yeah," he said, going over to where the boy stood peeking at them.
"Won't Mrs. Claus get mad?"
Duo tried not to laugh. "She needs all the help she can get. Now back to bed with you." He took Solo by the hand and led him back down the hall.
As they went, Solo turned to wave at Santa. "Night, Santa!"
"Goodnight, Solo," Heero said.
Duo pulled back the covers, waited for Solo to jump into bed and then tucked him in. Kneeling next to the bed, he looked into his son's eyes and smiled.
"You've really got to stay in bed this time."
"I know, Daddy. I'll be good."
"Okay. I'll see you in the morning." Duo kissed him on the forehead.
"Make sure Santa eats some of my cookies," the boy said, as Duo stood to leave.
"Absolutely. I won't let him leave without a treat."
Duo closed the door behind him and then returned to the living room, ready to resume that kiss, only to find that Heero was gone. Duo stared at the door, angry and confused. Heero had walked out on him again.
"That bastard," he said as he turned off the lamp.
"I hope you're not referring to Santa."
With a gasp, Duo turned in the direction of the voice. Heero was sitting on the floor in front of the illuminated Christmas tree.
"I thought you'd gone."
"Without saying goodbye?"
"It wouldn't be the first time."
Heero sighed. "Okay. So, let's talk."
Duo shook his head. "I wouldn't have anything nice to say."
"Not even after that kiss?"
Duo opened his mouth to yell some obscenity, any obscenity to let Heero feel the force of his anger, but his fatherly instincts kicked in and he looked down the hall towards the closed bedroom door. "He missed you," he said in a quiet, but pained voice. And then turning his eyes to Heero added, "Everyday I watched him missing you."
"I missed him, too."
Duo gave Heero a hard look. "So you show up dressed as Santa when it's Heero he'd really love to see?"
"It took me all night to work up the nerve to come over here."
"All night? I haven't seen or heard from you in weeks. You didn't return my calls, and out of the blue you show up at my door---"
"I can explain."
"Oh, really? Well, this ought to be good." Duo stomped over to the sofa and plopped down, crossing his arms behind his head. "You've had plenty of time to work on your story, so go right ahead. I'm all ears."
Heero took the Santa hat from his head and pulled the beard completely off and then looked up at Duo. "There's no story. I got... overwhelmed... scared actually, by what was happening."
Duo watched as Heero squeezed the hat in his hands. He looked nervous and unsure and despite Duo's conviction to stay mad he couldn't deny the sincerity in Heero's voice and what seemed a genuine effort to communicate.
"And what was happening?" Duo prompted.
"You and I were getting close... maybe even falling in love. And I could see that Solo was looking up to me like a dad, and you were acting like we were... a family."
Duo's arms came down and he leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees, his braid dangling before him. "What's wrong with that?"
"Nothing... nothing at all, except that I wasn't ready for that, and I didn't know how to tell you."
"So, you just walked out on us. And now you're here to make it perfectly clear that you're not ready for that?"
Heero looked down at the hat. "Maybe this suit is just a prop, but I didn't think you'd let me through that door any other way, and, well, I missed you," he said, and then looking up added, "I missed us."
"God, I almost believe you."
Heero's gaze remained steady.
"All you had to do was leave a message... tell me that you needed space. I still would've been mad, but maybe only half as mad."
"Half as mad would be good," Heero said with a small smile.
"Yeah," Duo said softly, leaning back in the sofa and staring at the lights on the tree. He could feel numbness creeping up on him, a self-protection that was very rapidly bringing this conversation to an end and closing him off from Heero again.
"What did you wish for Christmas?" Heero asked, suddenly.
"What?" Duo's eyes returned to Heero, half-amused and half-bewildered by the question.
"Santa wants to know what you want for Christmas."
The playfulness of the question made Duo snort, but he turned his eyes up to the window as if he was truly interested in the falling snow outside. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
They sat in silence for a long moment in a childish game of wills, but eventually Duo's eyes drifted down to Heero's. Heero never looked away, never faltered from his mark. There he sat, in that ridiculous Santa suit, looking a bit warm under the collar and a bit mussed for his efforts. He wasn't moving, wasn't going anywhere, and yet this conversation had stalled somewhere between an inadequate explanation and a whimsical request.
"Fine, I'll tell you," Duo said, leaning forward for impact. "I wished for you, you son of a bitch."
"Yeah, fool that I am. All I want for Christmas is you. Stupid, huh?"
"I wouldn't call that stupid."
"No? Then what would you call it?"
"Being honest. Hoping that we can start again... like I'm hoping."
Duo's mouth opened, gawping at the remark.
"That's why I'm here," Heero said, placing his hand lightly on Duo's knee. "To ask your forgiveness and for a second chance."
Duo stared at the hand and swallowed. Damn, that was nice to hear, but could he put aside his hurt long enough to make the right decision-for him and for Solo?
"You've gotta know that's a big request," Duo said, hedging.
Heero nodded, but waited silently.
"But it's also big that you came here... dressed like this... to say that. I'd almost say that's damn romantic."
Duo fixed his eyes on the dark, intense blue pools before him. Heero seemed to devour him even without touch. Just a look was all it had ever taken to captivate Duo, to make him Heero's even from the moment they had met. And yet this was no magical spell, nor was it something that could be explained as fate. So things hadn't worked the first time around, what couple didn't have their ups and downs?
Heero smiled. "Take me back, Duo. Let's give it another try."
"I think I have already taken you back," Duo said, smiling in return.
Heero's smile grew more confident as he leaned forward and Duo bent to him. Their lips met, putting into the physical what their words and their hearts had already agreed upon. Their lives were connected again.
"I'm gettin' there," Duo said, brushing his lips over Heero's. "If you're sincere in giving this another go, I think I can risk my heart... and Solo's."
Heero nodded. "I owe him an apology, too."
"That'd be nice."
Heero took Duo's face in his hands, gently cupping his cheeks and looking deep into his eyes. With the warm glow of the Christmas lights all around them, he leaned forward and kissed Duo thoroughly, taking his lips in a repeated, eager kiss.
The kisses progressed easily to more. Their hands reached out to unfasten buttons, and slip questing fingers under clothing to touch warm, bare skin. Heero's thumbs rubbed over Duo's nipples as he continued to kiss and pull at Duo's lips hungrily.
"Want you," Heero said, the words formed into the kiss. "Want you back."
Duo pulled a kneeling Heero between his legs and wrapped his arms around him. "You've got me," he said, now licking a path around Heero's ear. "And I want you, too."
Heero's hands slid under Duo's bottom, pulling him closer, bringing Duo's crotch to his waist and feeling the bulge there. Duo instinctively thrust, trying for more contact, and moaned as Heero took his mouth again. Sex with Heero was hot and pure, an intensity that Duo had never experienced with anyone else. And since this was definitely heading in that direction, Duo pulled back reluctantly, his eyes heavy with lust.
"I'll be right back," he said, carefully extricating himself from the tangle of arms and legs.
He could see that Heero was already swimming in a sexual haze and smiled. Oh, yeah, there was nothing quite like make-up sex, and he was going to make sure they weren't interrupted.
Duo padded down the hall, grabbing a string of bells from a wreath on the wall. Carefully, he opened the door to Solo's room and peeked inside. The boy was sound asleep. Closing the door, he hung the bells over the doorknob, just in case Solo woke and they needed a little forewarning before he stumbled into the living room. With one last stop in the bathroom, Duo returned to the sofa with a tube of personal lubricant.
He frowned when he saw that Heero had stripped off the Santa suit's jacket and boots.
"What... you liked the suit?" Heero asked.
Duo pouted for effect.
"You can't possibly expect me to keep it on. It's hot in there."
Duo sat on the sofa, appraising his lover. "How about just wearing the hat?"
Heero laughed. "You're joking."
"Nope. You're a sexy Santa, even if you are a skinny-assed one."
With a shake of his head, Heero grabbed the hat and pulled it back on. "Happy?"
Duo ran his fingers under Heero's bangs, pushing them away from his eyes, liking the idea of fussing with his hair in that hat. Heero smiled and grabbed Duo by the waist, pulling him off the couch and pinning him to the carpeted floor next to the Christmas tree. Between kisses that made Duo's cheeks burn a deep pink hue, Heero removed Duo's clothes, leaving him magnificently bare.
"Fuck me, Santa," Duo said with a playful smile and a tug at Heero's pants. When Heero raised an eyebrow, Duo slipped his hand to the front of those pants. "'Tis the season."
Heero's eyes raked over Duo's nakedness and he groaned. "Just don't tell Mrs. Claus."
"Your secret's safe with me."
Slipping out of his red Santa pants and briefs, Heero grabbed the lube and prepared his lover. Duo's legs were spread enticingly wide, and the young man rubbed his inner thighs as Heero invaded him with his fingers. The prep time was cut short when Duo placed his hand over Heero's and gently pulled him out. Enough was enough. It was Christmas after all.
A little more lubricant in all the right places, and a butt-naked Heero/Santa was sliding his hard sex inside, all the way inside. He held his upper body up as he made love to Duo, pumping and grinding, and drawing moans out of each of them.
Duo watched the white, furry ball on the end of the Santa hat bob with each thrust. He didn't know why, but it made him horny to secretly believe that Heero was Santa tonight, making a very special visit to his house. Heero had been right about needing a prop to gain entry. That ridiculous red suit had opened the door, if for nothing but curiosity.
And now, this young, virile Santa was fucking him on his living room floor-right in front of the Christmas tree. Talk about kinky. If things worked out, and Duo suspected they would this time, he would have to insist on this present every year.
Heero hooked his arms under Duo's knees, continuing the pounding. "Have you been... a good boy this year?"
"What do you think, Santa?" Duo asked as he pinched Heero's ass.
Heero growled and thrust harder. "I think... you've been naughty."
"Yeah... fuck this naughty boy, Santa," Duo said, meeting each thrust with his own.
And Heero did. Again and again he shoved himself inside-in and out, filling Duo completely with each, deep thrust. Duo moaned as quietly as he could, even as he wanted more, faster and harder. They would have carpet burns on their bums and knees in the morning, but neither cared. They rocked and thrust together with small grunts, their bodies glistening with sweat in the Christmas lights.
Heero leaned forward, taking Duo's mouth in a possessive, hungry kiss. Their bodies were close together, moving on each other easily from the sweat and the rhythm of the thrusts. The Santa hat brushed across Duo's nose and cheek as Heero bent to suck on Duo's neck. Duo laughed and then moaned as Heero bit into his skin, sucking hard, pulling skin into his mouth.
"Mmm, mark me, Santa."
The words seemed to ignite Heero to more forceful thrusts. His arms slipped behind Duo's back, holding him close as he rutted and grunted in his ear.
"Come on, Duo," he said, his voice heated and breathy. "Come with me."
The encouragement was sexy and well timed. Duo had already begun to feel his orgasm brewing.
"Yeah... Heero," Duo said, squeezing his buttocks and thrusting back harder.
Another deep, open-mouthed kiss, matching the intensity of the fucking and they moaned into each other's mouths as they came. The sound of their moans was muffled by the kiss as they thrust to completion.
As their kiss and their orgasms ebbed, Heero let his full weight fall on Duo, holding him tight. His breath was hot and rapid in Duo's ear, and Duo could feel his heart pounding against his own chest.
"Hot damn," Duo said, swallowing and trying to regain his own breath. "You're one hell of a Santa."
Heero chuckled in his ear. "I had no idea a hat could do all that."
"No... not just the hat."
They were quiet as their breathing slowed and they came down from their climax. Then Heero looked into Duo's eyes. "I never dreamed my night would end this way."
"Yeah." Duo smiled, giving Heero a fierce hug.
Heero rolled onto his side, separating them, and then laying his hand on Duo's stomach. He ran his fingers over the soft skin, mapping the subtleties of the slender body next to him.
Duo stared into Heero's face, watching the other young man's eyes move over his body. It felt so right when they were together, making it all the harder to understand why Heero had gone away.
"I'd like you to stay tonight, but Solo thinks you're Santa... ."
Heero nodded. "I don't have a change of clothes, so that would be a little strange in the morning."
"You could come back... for breakfast. I'm making French toast."
"Thank you," Heero said, looking into Duo's eyes. "I'd like that." He sat up then, looking at the clock. "It's officially Christmas."
Duo leaned up on his elbows and squinted toward the clock on the opposite side of the room. It read 12:37 a.m.
"Merry Christmas, Heero."
"Merry Christmas, Duo." Heero bent down, pressing his lips gently, but firmly to Duo's, and then rubbed their noses together as he tugged on Duo's braid. "I guess this Santa should be on his way."
"Yeah." Duo nodded. Even though he didn't want Heero to go, it was for the best where Solo was concerned.
They got up, Duo slipping back into his jeans, and then helping Heero with his costume. He chuckled when Heero was fully dressed, now even more amused that Heero had gone to all this trouble.
With some discussion they decided Heero should leave only one gift from Santa, and bring back the other to give to Solo personally. Duo also made sure he ate some of the cookies.
At the door, the goodbyes were delayed a little longer, as they held each other and kissed. Finally, Duo pulled back.
"Who knew it'd be such a turn-on seeing you in a Santa suit."
"You mean you were turned-on all night and you still made me work for it?"
"Well, yeah. You had a lot of explaining to do no matter how much I wanted to get my hands into that plush suit."
Heero shook his head. "Just don't expect me to dress up for every holiday."
"What? No Easter Bunny?"
"Definitely no Easter Bunny."
"What about Valentine's Day? You'd make a sexy Cupid in that little underwear, and bow and arrows."
Heero's eyes narrowed, menacingly. "Merry Christmas, Duo," he said, turning to leave.
"Or maybe we could celebrate Saint Patrick's Day!" Duo called after him. "Now there's a man with a big stick!"
Heero kept walking, shaking his head as he went.
"Good night, Santa! Thanks for my present. It was a perfect fit!"
This time Heero chuckled and looked back over his shoulder. "Nine sound good for breakfast?"
"Bring the Santa hat, right?"
"You got it!"
This fic is dedicated to Leslie, and is inspired in part by Ponderosa's drawing, I Saw Duo Kissing Santa...