"Thank you, Duo."
"Anytime, Heero. Take care yourself. You still look a little pale."
The Japanese boy watched as the car pulled away and disappeared from his sight. Then he turned around and entered the lab where he had been living for the past few months.
27th of December, AC 196
Finally the second war can be avoided, Odin. I know I should be happy for the bright future of Little Shinigami, but I don't feel happy at all.
Duo brought me home while I was unconscious after Marimea's death. I was happy when I woke up with Duo smiling down on me. I was happy when he carried me to the bathroom and stayed with me while my nausea attacked me. I was happy when he carried me back to the bed and lowered me onto the bed.
But that was all.
Hilde came in and told Duo good news.
She was pregnant too, Odin. Two months gone, almost the same as me.
Duo was very happy. He smiled and laughed. He kissed Hilde long and gently.
........... I want to be kissed too.
I want to be hugged too.....
I wanted to tell him that I was pregnant too, that I was carrying his child too.....
But ... that would destroy his happiness......
Duo would be torn between me and Hilde....... Between my child and her child.... He would be sad, depressed, and stressed.
I don't want that. All I want is that for Duo to be happy.
I just ....
I just hope I can be a part of his happiness ........
but apparently I hope for too much.......
Do you think little Shinigami will hate me for not telling his father about his existence? I hope little Shinigami can forgive me. I will try to be both father and mother for him.
After Colony 197
Middle of January.
"No no no! I want ten red roses, ten white roses, and five yellow roses. No more no less."
"But Hilde, yellow roses are rare, I... " Duo winced as his wife's expression turned dark on the videophone's screen.
"I'm only asking you to buy roses. You don't know how hard it is to carry your child."
"Okay okay, I'll buy them after the work." Duo said hurriedly and disconnected the videophone. He then slumped against his chair and sighed loudly. It wasn't easy to deal with his pregnant wife. He understood that Hilde was having cravings but everyday fulfilling his wife's demands was tiring him. Now where to find the flowers...... Duo closed his eyes in frustration. How could he find yellow roses, he wasn't a flower expert, damn it.......
.... Heero, sleeping among the lavender flowers he planted.......
Duo suddenly sat straight as the image flashed in his mind. Heero! That's it. Heero might know where to find the roses. Duo reached for the videophone and punched a certain number. It rang for a full minute before the screen revealed a familiar face.
The Japanese boy looked the same as always but his Prussian blue eyes lit up when he saw who was calling him. "Duo."
Duo smiled. "Hi Heero, how are you?"
The Japanese boy tilted his head slightly. "........ Fine."
"That's good. Do you know where to find red, white, and yellow roses?"
"Aa... you can find them at Lulu florist on Aqua Street."
Duo beamed. "Thank you, Heero. I don't know how I can find those flowers if I didn't have you."
"What are the flowers for? Do you want to do gardening?"
Duo chuckled and felt relaxed as he gazed warmly at the Japanese boy's face. "No, that's your department. I'm just fulfilling Hilde's demands. She is craving different things everyday."
"Oh." The Prussian blue orbs dimmed, but Duo didn't see it because he was busy putting his jacket on.
"I think being pregnant is not easy for her. I better hurry and buy the flowers. Talk to you later, Heero."
Duo disconnected the videophone as he reached for his cap. If he had looked back at the screen, he would have noticed the Japanese boy's eyes became dull once again before the screen went blank.
Sadly, he didn't look.
If he had, maybe history would've changed.....
13th of January, AC 197
........ Duo called me just to ask where to buy roses..... Would he have still remembered me if Hilde didn't crave for roses, Odin? Red, white, and yellow roses. That isn't so hard to get. I would gladly exchange her craving for mine. I don't think I'll ever get mine, not without raising suspicious from Duo.......
Tell me Odin, why do I crave Duo's omelet? Why do I have to crave Duo's omelet only? Not ordinary omelets?
I hope little Shinigami will grow up just fine with my cravings unfulfilled......
Both I can't have......
15th of January, AC 197
The pain started this morning and lasted for one hour, Odin. Dr. J didn't exaggerate. It's horrible. My stomach felt like it was being torn but I can handle it. It's a small price to pay for having little Shinigami. It's a good thing that I have bought some of the items that little Shinigami would need later.
Do you think he will like the blue pastel baby carrier, Odin? I also bought some clothes for him. I couldn't resist buying him a pair of black shirt and shorts. Little Shinigami will look good in black just like his father, don't you think, Odin?
I hope little Shinigami will have his father's eyes. Violet eyes.
So bright, so full of happiness.
The eyes that I would love to be given the attention of once again..........
Suddenly the Japanese boy cried out and slumped against the desk, head on the desk and hands on his stomach. The pen clattered to the floor. He gritted his teeth as his body trembled and tensed. The only sound heard in the room was his pants. The short haired boy whimpered and his eyes looked far away as if searching for someone.
But of course, there was no one there to help him.
There was no one there to comfort him either.
"Duo..." The boy whimpered and closed his eyes, letting the pain make his stomach its play toy.
It was an hour later that his pants lessened and his body gradually stopped trembling and became relaxed once again.
21st of January, AC 197
The timing of the pain attacks is rather predictable now, Odin. It appears about three or four times a day and four or five hours apart. I can understand why so many people abort the pregnancy from this potion even if their spouse was there by their side. Awakened in the middle of night to suffer an hour of ripping pain is not a pleasant thing. Not to mention the pregnancy also affects our emotional states.
It makes me feel so weak, so worthless. I feel like crying when I want to eat Duo's omelet which I know I can never have. My chest hurts every time I think that no one wants to live with me.
However, no matter painful it is, I won't abort my pregnancy. Not when I will have little Shinigami in my life. He is worth every pain I suffer. Not everyone is given a chance to have a child, ne? Especially me, a killer, a terrorist....
I don't know how to raise a child, but I have searched the net for such information and got plenty of it. One site said that I should sing or talk to little Shinigami since he can hear me while he is still inside. I never sing. My voice is not good enough for that, but I'll try my best. I've downloaded a couple of lullaby songs and I hope little Shinigami won't mind hearing my bad voice ...... Don't laugh at me from above while I'm singing for my son, Odin.
........ I just wished Duo would be here to raise our son together....
After Colony 197
Middle of February
Duo sighed and leaned against his chair, one hand kneading his forehead. Hilde craved chocolate this time. He would think it as an easy task if not for the fact that she wanted him to make the chocolate and write their names on it.
Duo didn't like to be forced to do something and lately he felt forced to fulfill his wife's demands every day. Damn, if not for the baby he wouldn't do it.
Making chocolate also reminded him about Heero and how he had spent last year's Valentine's Day in laughter and happiness. Heero was there, giving him chocolate and congratulating him for his success in establishing his company.
Duo lowered his hand from his forehead and stared far away, replaying his past. He was very happy at that time and always laughed every day.
"Duo! Where's my chocolate?!"
Hilde's shout snapped Duo back to the present. He sighed and stood up carrying the chocolate he had made for his wife. Five months more and he would get those happy days back, Duo reminded himself.
14th of February, AC 197
Ne Odin, this pregnancy has made me very emotional.
I want to find a way to turn back the time.... I want to go back to 14th of February AC 196. I know I was happy at that time. Duo ate my chocolate and we spent the day together, kissing and hugging. That was the day where I felt very contented and happy. I even had planned to make a bigger Deathscythe chocolate next year.
Who would have thought that this year I would spend this day without him? I was so confident at that time that Duo would stay with me.
I miss Duo... I miss him so much...
The Japanese boy closed the diary and leaned against the headboard. He put one hand on his stomach. Caressing his stomach gently, the Japanese boy started humming.
"Sleep my child and peace attend thee,
All through the night
Guardian angels God will send thee,
All through the night
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,
Hill and dale in slumber sleeping
I my loved ones' watch am keeping,
All through the night............ "
After Colony 197
Duo slammed the door to his office loudly and slumped down in his chair. Howard had gotten used to Duo's temper by now. No doubt Hilde was asking for another difficult thing. "What is it, this time?" The old man asked as he sorted his papers.
"A house." Duo growled.
Howard stopped his sorting and looked at the braided boy. "Excuse me?"
"She says she feels trapped and wants a bigger house. She described for almost an hour exactly how she wants the house to look."
"Bigger? I recall you telling me that she needs a maid and a gardener to maintain your current house."
"Right. I told that to her." Duo sighed. "And she started wailing about how difficult it is for her to carry my child."
Howard shook his head. "She exaggerates."
"I know. But Doctor Philip says not to make her sad or depressed. It isn't good for the baby."
"So you're going to buy her a house?" Howard asked perplexed.
Duo sighed. "What else I can do? I have enough money for that so I'd rather fulfill her wish than have to listen to her wailing and risking my child's life." The braided boy stood up. "Can you handle the company alone for today, Howard? I need to search for a house that meets her description."
"No problem for me." Howard stood up too and patted Duo's back. He loved Duo like his own son and he knew it had been a long time since Duo laughed freely or smiled that sunny smile. "Come on, don't be so down like that. There's only three months left, right? Then you'll have your cheerful and passionate wife once again and also a cute child."
"You're right." Duo smiled slightly. "Thanks Howard, I really need the support."
"You're welcome." Howard smiled back and watched as the braided boy walked out of the office.
Job again. Howard sighed and walked to Duo's desk, answering the videophone. The screen flickered and showed an image of a messy haired boy. "Heero Yuy?" Howard raised an eyebrow. His mood wasn't too good after his talk with Duo and the appearance of Duo's ex-lover didn't make it better. Back then when they were still together, Howard wasn't too keen when he learned that the Japanese boy only stayed at the house and did gardening while Duo was working hard. It looked like the Japanese boy was only taking advantage of Duo. To be honest, he didn't think a soldier like Yuy could care for Duo. In his opinion, the Japanese boy only stayed with Duo for convenience and sex.
"What do you want?" Howard asked roughly.
The Japanese boy looked startled for a second but quickly regained his composure. "Is Duo there?"
"No, he went out to find a house for Hilde."
"Yes, a bigger house. He wants the best for his wife." Howard lied.
Howard noticed how the Prussian blue eyes dulled in a flash and thought that the Japanese boy was upset about the house. He felt satisfied knowing the Japanese boy couldn't take advantage of Duo now that the braided boy was married. However, he couldn't help but asking the very question that had been bothering him. "Yuy, I know that you liked staying with Duo, but why did you leave him?"
"Isn't it obvious?" The Japanese boy looked at the older man with dull eyes. "Duo is happier with Hilde." and then the screen went blank.
Howard was surprised at the answer and stared at the now black screen in shock. At that second he realized that Heero Yuy cared for Duo Maxwell. Loved him, maybe. Loved him so much that he was willing to leave in order to make Duo happy. Howard gripped the edge of the desk to hold his body from falling down as he realized one more thing.
There hadn't been a day that Duo didn't laugh and smile when Heero was still with him.
Was Duo really happier with Hilde?
9th of April, AC 197
Stupid. I'm so stupid, Odin. This pregnancy has made me so emotional that I forgot about using my brain. I called Duo just now! I called him just to ask for his omelet!!! What a baka I am... I can't let him see me in this condition. He'll get suspicious and disgusted.....
I can't say I'm lucky that it's Howard who answered my call, though. I should haven't called..... If I didn't call I wouldn't have known that Duo was buying Hilde a house.....
A bigger house..... the best for his wife....
Ne, Odin..... It hurts... Hilde can get a house while I can't get such a small omelet.....