Disclaimers: I guess the truth is out. I don't own Gundam Wing.

Rating: PG-13?
Pairings: 1+2+1, hints of 4x3 and 5x?
Warnings: Gratuitous use of Heero's ass, and Shounen Ai. Some OOC?

the duel: 2X1 takes a shot

Arguments over Beauty 'Queens'
by Neko-Chan

"Yeah right Heero!" Maxwell shouted at his roommate as he followed him into the living room. Wufei groaned inwardly knowing his plans for a peaceful afternoon were shattered. Trowa glanced at the bickering pain in mild interest but then turned back to what he was doing. Namely relaxing with his head on Quatre's lap seeing how much teasing his little one could take before he gave up and dragged Trowa down to their session room.

Quatre didn't even look up. Since they had been snowed in by a freak snowstorm on Christmas Eve it had been like that everyday. A week of non-stop arguing as Heero tried to ignore Duo so he would leave him alone, and Duo just responded by doing anything and everything to draw Heero out. Nothing seemed to work. The tension building between the two was only natural; Quatre knew what was going on even if they didn't. Sooner or Later Heero would crack and Duo would meet that desperately shy, socially inept boy that Quatre had grown to know so well over midnight hot fudge sundaes. Funny beneath the mask of a perfect soldier was a boy who was still learning how to be a human being.

"I mean look at my eyes! No one has eyes this color naturally but me. It's totally unique. Not many people have lashes as long, thick or dark as mine are. And my face, Exquisitely heart shaped classical yet fragile features. Doesn't matter if it was a woman's contest or a man's. I would still win hands down."

Heero still kept his voice cold as he replied matter of factly," One, I have that exotic yet innocent look that can't be faked. Two, my tousled hair looks exactly like it spent the night being raked and played with by a lovers fingers. Third I know my lips are perfectly shaped and soft enough to please even the most discriminating judge. And last, but not least, only the perfect soldier would have the perfect ass."

Turning around he bent over displaying it for all too see. Black spandex lovingly clung to every swell and curve revealing more then it hid. There was an audible gasp in the room no one was sure if it had been them.

"You have to agree Duo, he does have the most perfect ass I've ever seen." Quatre said eyes trying to memorize ever detail. Trowa would have protested if he hadn't been busy doing the same thing. Recognizing that look for what it was Duo pulled Heero into standing position and blocking everyone's view.

"Keep your eyes off my Ko… comrade's ass."

Quatre had to keep from laughing. Was he the only one who noticed Duo's almost slip? In the heat of the moment people often forgot to hide their true feeling. Turning Koi into comrade was fast thinking. With a shrug Quatre turned back to the music score he was reading. Still listening to the conversation.

"Your ass may be fine Heero but what about mine? I have much better definition then you not to mention slimmer hips!"

Eyes narrowing slightly Heero seemed to study Duo's ass for quite a long time ignoring the blush rising on the boy's cheeks before he replied.

"I won twelve tighty-whitey contest in the week I spent undercover in Berkley. And for the past two years running I've won `The most incredible ass in the universe.' Award."

Momentarily stumped Duo gaped, "You entered THAT contest?"

"Of course not to do so would be a frivolous waste of time. Dr.J takes the picture and sends in the forms. The money is used to help finance my missions."

Wufei dropped the sword he was polishing from nerveless fingers. No wonder Heero's ass looked familiar there was a framed picture of it next to his in his boyfriend's office. Blushing as he remembered all the hentai thoughts it had inspired he stuttered slightly as he stated,"You mean to tell me Yuy that your ass has won the two million dollar prize every year?" Neither boy replied to his question too caught up in their Duel of words.

"It doesn't matter Heero, since most contests are based on your over all appearance, your ass just isn't enough." With a firm jerk Heero ripped that green tank top off his body. Three boys momentarily went still as they reminded their hormones exactly what an enraged Shinigami would do to them should they jump Heero. It might have been worth it if not for the fact that Heero would go Perfect soldier on their ass before they got to the good part. Sweeping a hand over his chest Heero actually smirked at Duo.

"My ass isn't the only thing I've got that's perfect. Due to Dr.J's experiments not only do I have above average stamina but my accelerated healing ability has ensured I have no scars. Just skin smoother then a babies bottom."

Duo rolled his eyes,

"Scars are a good thing man. Not only does it make you irresistible to the ladies, but you can play all kinds of fun games with them. Like connecting the dots with your tongue."

Wufei snickered, "Was that an invitation Maxwell?"

Duo was about to tell him exactly what he could do with his tongue, but Heero did the impossible. His next words struck Duo speechless. "Who said it was the ladies I wanted to be irresistible too?"

"Um…. Er….. Ulp."

Heero had finally reached his breaking point. Quatre's eyes sparkled as he anticipated the coming show.

"If there really was a contest, and if we were both entering I would definitely win."

"Because you think I'm not beautiful enough?" Duo asked in a subdued voice and some how they both knew they weren't just talking about a silly imaginary contest any more. Stepping closer Heero wrapped Duo's long silky braid around his fist.

"You may never tell a lie Duo, while I on the other hand have lied far too often. But I find that you are the one person I can't lie too. If life were fair you would win. Your far too beautiful to lose and its not because of your pretty shell Duo. You have this inner light that surrounds you and makes everyone else seem false, half dead. I would win because I would make the contest my mission. And I never fail my mission. Since you would be my only true competition I would just have to eliminate you like any other obstacle."

Reeling from Heero's softly spoken revelations Duo turned eyes like bruised violets to his partner.

"You would kill me? For so little?"

Tugging Duo closer he replied, "Baka, I couldn't kill you. I would just make sure you were unable to appear. I would most likely drug you and chain you to my bed."

"Your … bed?"

"Of course, if I've got to tie you up and get you too exhausted to consider escaping I might as well do it the fun way huh?"

"Yeah…" Duo whispered oblivious to their audience as his mind supplied him with fantasy number two hundred and forty nine. Heero Yuy in black leather crotch less bondage gear smirking as he tugged Duo's chains to ensure his slave wouldn't be able to move from his spread and exposed condition. Roughly clamping down on his response Duo remembered that if he didn't breath he would pass out.

Smirk disappearing, as he suddenly seemed to notice their avid audience Heero let go of the braid clasped jealously in his hand. Visibly gathering the perfect solider façade around him once again Heero said coolly,

"There if that answers your questions Maxwell, I have a report to write."

Heading back to their room he left the stunned pilot behind.Quatre smiled recognizing Heero's sudden change for the shyness it was. Trowa use to have the same problem, once upon a very long time ago. Digging into the side of the couch he shouted,"Duo! Catch."

Duo reached out and caught the silvery circles.


"Their gundamium handcuffs, Heero bought them as a Christmas present for you but he got too embarrassed to give them to you and gave them to me instead."

"What the?!!?"

"Hey don't get all worked up! He gave them to me cause he knows about my little collection."

Trowa looked over at the bewildered Duo and gave a half smile, "Heero walked in on one of my `Sessions' with Master Quatre."

"Master Quatre?" Duo whispered and Quatre gave his angelic smile.

"Today is the beginning of a new year Duo. Could you think of a better way to spend it then with the one who loves you? As soon as I finish this up Trowa and I will be going down to the basement for a special `session', Around this time of day Wufei usually goes upstairs to make a Vid phone call to his boyfriend and take a clod shower. While you and Heero are sitting in opposite ends of the house. Don't you think Heero should be with the one he loves too?"

"Loves but he never told me…"

"Trust me Duo. Heero's just shy. Use the cuffs and in less then an hour he'll be screaming it to you."

And He did.


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