Disclaimer: I don't own the gundam boys

Pairings: 1x2 (main) and 6x2 (but still 1x2 all the way) and 3x4 (not too much)
Spoilers: *giggles madly* The only thing that I spoil is my milk ^_^;;
Warnings: The usual complete weirdness. Pairings are totally random, but still 1x2 at heart! Complete insanity, self-insertions, stripping bishonen....

Inspiration: Super Heroes by 0083. Made me want to spoof up something of my own ^_^


the duel: 1X2 fires a shot

Super Yuy Brothers 64
Chapter Six: Heero versus Zechs (Round one)
by Chibi Shi-Chan


Heero approached the picture door with all eight tubes of lube. He stood and stared at the picture of the naked Duo kitty.

Then he stared some more.

And then he stared some more.


"Yo Heero. You are supposed to use the tubes." Trowa said from behind him. Heero turned and saw the unibang boy behind him, his usual solemn look on his face.

"Where's Quatre?"

"Resting. He says that he's tired." Trowa said, almost sounding angry.

"Well I mean, Trowa, sex is pretty tiring to most individuals."

"It is?" Trowa asked in surprise.

"Well yeah. I mean, don't you get tired after a while?"

"Uh...I work at the circus, I do aerobics all day."

"Oh yeah...hm. Well, you could get Quatre caffeine high first. I mean, the little guy does pretty good if he can hang with you twenty times in a row."

"Twenty-two actually. He broke the record today." Trowa said with pride.

"Right. So let him rest. When he gets up get him caffeine high and see if he can break that record." Trowa nodded as Heero finally decided that he had looked at the naked Duo kitty for long enough. He held up the tubes and a bright white light shown.

The door slid open.


Heero entered and gasped at the huge picture that was before him. It was an even bigger picture of the naked Duo kitty.

"Hm. Very nice. Hey Heero, Duo has tons of energy right?" Trowa asked, standing besides him.

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"No reason at all." Trowa said with a smirk, leaving Heero alone to stare at the huge picture.


~Where Zechs and Duo are~


"I'm sorry Trowa but I have enough villains. Besides, you are supposed to be helping Heero save Duo." Zechs said. Trowa sighed.

"I know. I am helping. You've seen the series, all I do is sneak into enemy territory to get secret information." Trowa said. Just then, Duo came out wearing his short black robe, rubbing his long hair with a towel.

"Man...I really needed that shower. Zechs, your shower is great, and since we both have long hair you have plenty of shampoo." Duo said happily, plopping down on the couch, his legs spread wide open for no reason at all ^_^

"Uh...yeah..." Zechs' eyes were glued to the open legs, and so was Trowa's, well, his one visible eye. Duo looked up to see that everyone was looking at him.

"Uh...Trowa? Aren't you supposed to be helping Heero save me?"

"I AM helping. Infiltration." Trowa said, sitting next to Duo.

"Oh O.K." Duo said, accepting this answer. Zechs took the other spot next to Duo, leering at the chestnut haired boy. Duo seemed to not notice any of this as he just sat there with a smile on his face.

"So Duo, uh, you seem very....energetic today." Trowa said, his hand coming around to wrap around Duo's shoulders. Duo nodded.

"Yeah I am. I have tons of energy to waist. I have nothing to do though." Both Zechs and Trowa smirked.

"Oh I know what I could do!" Duo said, looking at both boys with a smile. The two smiled back.

"Yes?" They asked, their faces inching closer to Duo's lips. Duo suddenly jumped up and ran to the phone, the two boys falling over on each other on the couch.

"OWIE!"


"Yeah. Hiya Q! Hey, you wanna go shopping?" The two sweatdropped.

"Yeah, I need new clothes. Yeah, Heero would like that outfit on me. Oh, you need to shop for Trowa?" Trowa's ears perked up at that. He smirked, shopping always made Quatre so...energetic.

"Oh hold on, I got another call." Duo clicked over.

"Oh hiya Wu! Yeah, me and Q goin shoppin. Oh, Treize let you use his credit card? Coolies! I'm sure Zechs will let me use his car. We can pick up Q and go hang out. We can do that thing we did last time, you know, when we all played strip poker." Zechs and Trowa gasped.

"WHAT! Where were we?"

"Yeah that sounds cool. Just let me tell Q. Bye!" Duo clicked back over.

"Yeah Q, that was Wu. He's comin too. I'll pick you up soon. Bye! Oh, and Wu says that we should all wear those matching leather outfits, you know, the ones with the shorts that barely cover our asses. Yeah those!"

"WHAT!" Zechs and Trowa screamed.

"O.K. Yeah I'll wear my Naughty T-shirt, you can wear the Hottie and Wu's wearin the Playa one. O.K. Smooches!" Duo hung up and bounced to the room to get dressed.


"O.K. How exactly did we miss them playing strip poker?" Zechs asked.

"I don't know. I wanna know where these outfits came from. Let's ask Heero if he knows about this."


~Heero's location~


Heero was finally about to stop staring at Duo kitty and go forward so he could fight Zechs when his cell phone rang.

"Heero here. This better be important cause I gotta go and kick Zechs' ass and get the key so I can save Duo."

"Heero. Trowa here."

"Yeah?"

"Did you know....that Duo, Quatre, and Wufei all play strip poker without us?"

"Well of course I did baka! What else would they do together?" Heero said.

"You...you KNEW! What about...the outfits...the leather outfits with the T- shirts?"

"Naughty, Hottie, and Playa? Yeah, I picked them out for them." Heero said in a bored tone. Trowa gasped.

"Why...why didn't you tell us! We could've went with you guys...or...watched them play strip poker...or SOMETHING!"

"Oh...I don't know. Never crossed my mind." Trowa sweatdropped.

"Well your koi is about to go shopping and play strip poker with Quatre and Wufei!" Zechs said, taking the phone from Trowa.

"Zechs you have him held prisoner. Just say no if you don't want him to go. And tell Trowa that if he touches Duo he's dead. The fic is 6x2, not 3x2!" Heero hung up the phone.


~Back to Zechs~


"What did he say?" Trowa asked. Zechs put away his phone.

"He made a very good point." Zech said glaring at Trowa.

"What?"

"If you touch Duo you're dead. This says 6x2 not 3x2!"

"I know, but if you've noticed it now says random pairings." Trowa said with a smirk. Zechs sweatdropped.

"I thought you were with Quatre anyway."

"And you are with Treize!"

"Who is currently with Wufei."

"Who is about to play strip poker with Quatre and Duo."

"Wait...I got confused. Can we do that again?" Zechs asked. Trowa pulled out a calculator.

"O.K. So this fic started out with 1x2...then went 6x2...that then stayed until more 1x2 came followed up by slight 6x2. But then, it went 3x4, then Wufei came in and we had that slight 6x5...x2....then we added Treize somewhere so x13...and everyone seems to be flirting with Duo so x2."

"And we get?" Zechs asked. Trowa punched in the numbers and sighed.

"If my math is right...we get 10,782,720." Zechs sweatdropped.

"And what the hell does that number mean?"

"That you should be a math major to understand Gundam pairings." They both nodded and Trowa putting away the calculator.

"Or that may be the number of different pairings ever created for us, or the different positions we've been put in."

"I don't think so," Trowa said with a sigh, "That number would have to be bigger." Zechs and Trowa cringed at the sudden thought of some of the pairings they were put in. Some of them should've been illegal to even THINK of.

"I swear if I get paired with Catherine again...she's my sister for cryin out loud!"


"Thank goodness this is yaoi and not het." Zechs said as an afterthought.

"Why is that?"

"None of the girls have numbers, so we'd be using letters too." Trowa cringed.

"Yeah...1xRP...or HYxRP...oi...my calculator can't handle that."

"Well you could do it the old fashioned way...by hand..."


Dum Dum Dummmmm!!!


"NO! THE HORROR!!! THE HORROR!!!"


"What's going on out here?" Duo asked, stepping out the room wearing a pair of extremely tight leather shorts and a tucked in T-shirt that had the word, "Naughty," written on it. Zechs and Trowa's eyes roamed over Duo's body, drool escaping their lips. Duo sighed and gave them tissue to clean themselves up with.

"Thank you."

"So what happened? What were you guys doing?" Duo asked.

"Gundam pairings."

"Oh I see. Well, 1x2x1 is 2, meaning that I always win out in the end." Duo said with a wink."

"Hey that's true. Whether if you're the seme or uke it's always gonna be 2...hm....good deal." Duo giggled and went to grab the car keys.

"Be back later guys. Ja..." Zechs stood and blocked the door.

"And where are you going?" He asked. Duo sighed.

"I'm taking your car to the mall of course. Me and the guys are gonna hang out and talk about our lovers and shop and talk about our lovers and eat and talk about our lovers and play strip poker and then act like our lovers are there." Duo said with and smile. Zechs shook his head.

"No. You are my prisoner, meaning you are captured, meaning you don't leave this place for any reason at all." Zechs said. Duo pouted.

"But Zechs...please...please can I go?" Duo pleaded. Zechs looked over at Trowa, who was telling him not to fall for the trick. Zechs set his face in a stern look.

"No." Duo gasped. His pouting didn't work? He glared, a low growl emitting from his throat. Zechs turned to Trowa for help, but the Latin boy shrugged his shoulders.

"Trader." Zechs whispered.

"You should've let me work for you." Trowa said with a smirk. Zechs turned his attention back to Duo, who had his head bowed down to the ground and his body seemed to glow a dark red aura.

"Oh no...I think he is going to do his ultimate move..." Trowa said, ducking his head. Zechs' eyes became wide with worry.

"Ul...ultimate move? Like in those Final Fantasy games?"

"Uh huh. This is worse than any hidden aeon or ultimate Overdrive..." Zechs gulped as Duo looked up at him, an evil grin on his face.

"Prepare for the power...of seduction!"


*que cheesy porno music*


Duo slowly sauntered over to Zechs, who was currently backing away from the little minx. Duo ran a finger down his body, his eyes shutting in bliss at the feeling as he drew closer and closer to Zechs. Zechs gasped when Duo pressed himself against Zechs, his hands running down his chest.


"Zechs...mmm...please..." Zechs gasped when Duo turned around and began to rub his cute little ass against his pants, the erection obvious. Zechs threw his head back when Duo reached back and grabbed his ass, pulling him into Duo more. Zechs grabbed his hips, thrusting into Duo madly.

"Zechs...oh gods...give it to me..."

"You want it?" Zechs asked, his lips nipping at Duo's neck. Duo purred.

"Oh yes...I need it...please...." Zechs reached for the button of Duo's leather pants, ready to slide them down. He couldn't believe it, after all this time he was finally gonna get Duo nookie.

"You got it baby." Zechs said. Duo suddenly pulled away from him and grabbed the car keys.

"Thanks Zechs, you're a pal." Duo then pushed Zechs away and darted out the door.


*end porno music*


Zechs stood in the middle of the room confused...and horny.

"What the hell just happened?"

"You fell for it my man." Trowa said, standing next to Zechs.

"But...but he begged for it..."

"It being the car keys Zechs. And you let him have it too." Zechs turnedbright red.

"That...that little...I...I...ARGH!"

"Well it's for the best Zechs, you have to taunt Heero while he gets closer and closer to you and you also have to prepare for the battle."

"And what will you be doing?" Zechs said. Trowa noticed the look Zechs was giving him and looked down to see the huge bulge in his pants. Trowa smirked.

"Sorry...I have to get ready for Quatre to come back. He will have tons of energy after shopping." With that, Trowa zipped off. Zechs sighed and plopped on the couch. He wondered why he had to be surrounded by teasing bishonen.


~And back to Heero...where we should've been in the first place ^_^~


Heero groaned as he looked around the area. He had headed towards the big picture of naked Duo kitty, thinking that it was one of the picture worlds, but instead a trap door opened.

And now he was in this new world.

Heero stood and rubbed his sore ass from the fall, feeling much like a sore bottom Heero.

"What the hell is this place?" It was very dark and he couldn't see anything. Suddenly, a bright light hit him and the world was revealed.

Heero sweatdropped when he saw it.

It was a living room. But the living room had various sex toys scattered about. There were chains hanging from the ceiling and against the walls. There were whips and vibrators and dildos scattered all over the place, and there was a moaning sound surrounding the entire area.

"Uh...what kind of world is this?"

"It is one of the worlds of I, the evil sexual predator dragon...ZECHS!!!"


"That's nice to know." Heero said.

"Uh...where is my music?" Zechs asked.


"Don't look at me." The narrator said.

"Me either. I ain't controlling the music." Chibi said. They all sighed.

"Let's try again."


"What kind of twisted world have you created you evil sexual predator dragon Zechs?"


"Nothing."

"I know."

"Chibi, your fic crew is slippin." The fic author sighed and stomped away to remedy the problem.


~Shopping mall~


"That outfit looks great on you Duo." Said a girl, Duo modeling the skimpy outfit. The girl nodded in approval, smacking Duo's ass as he went back into the dressing room to try something else on.

"Hm. Very nice Quatre and Wufei." The girl said, leering at the two boys. The two boys nodded in excitement and went to try on more outfits. Suddenly, a not so happy looking green haired fox approached the girl.

"Uh...excuse me..." Chibi said. The girl turned, wearing a shirt that said 6 with a pair of blue jeans. The girl glomped Chibi.

"Hiya Chibi! Oh...nice shirt." Chibi looked down at her shirt that said 2.

"Thanks Caro...but we need..."

"Hm...6x2...how very interesting..." Caro said with a grin. Chibi blushed.

"Caro-chan. Uh...we need to talk." Caro pouted.

"Talking takes up too much time for..." Chibi giggled.

"Nice idea, but really..." Caro sighed.

"Fine let's talk." Chibi smiled and the two sat.


"So what is this about?" Caro asked.

"Well for one...you are SUPPOSE to be working the sound effects in the fic. And I find you here shopping with Duo and the others." Caro sighed.

"I couldn't help it. Someone needs to make sure their outfits match."

"Caro..."

"Aw come on...can't we just hang out with the boys and worry about the fic later?" Caro pleaded.

"No...now come on so you can do your cameo." Suddenly the three boys stepped out wearing clothes that looked like they had been torn apart to show as much skin as possible. The fic author gasped and began to drool.

"Well...we can shop for a while..."


~Hours later~


"Uh guys..." A new voice said.

"SNOW-CHAN!" Chibi jumped up and glomped on Snow. Snow huggled back and waved at Caro. Caro giggled.

"You have a 1 on your shirt Snow. 1x2..." The two girls blushed.

"Uh Chibi...you have a fic to finish. What are you doing here?"

"Watching hot bishonen model clothes for us." Snow sighed.

"Now come on, we want to know what happens in Heero and Zechs' fight. So let's go..." Suddenly Wufei stepped out wearing tons of leather.

"Is this O.K. guys?" He asked.

"Very!" Snow said.


~More hours later~


"CHIBI!" Chibi turned and gulped, seeing the entire ML standing outside of the store. She looked at all of their shirts and noticed that they all had numbers on them. Caro was about to speak but Chibi glared at her.

"Don't even THINK about it! I don't even want to think about some of the pairings those numbers make with my shirt."

"You're no fun." Caro said. Chibi turned and looked at the crowd of people outside of the store and sighed.

"Look...I'm sorry...I'll work on the fic soon...I promise..."

"Oh we aren't mad about that..." Jana said.

"WE ARE MAD CAUSE YOU DIDN'T TELL US THE BOYS WERE MODELING FOR YOU!" Everyone sweatdropped at Skylark as she glomped her baby sister.

"Chibi, now you know that we would not pass up this opportunity." Said Tanny.

"And you should've had Hee-chan model too." Akuma pouted. Chibi looked around at the many faces of her list family and grinned.


~And some more hours passed~


"I would like to present to you hot bishonen modeling...and stripping!" Chibi said happily on a stage. The entire ML sat and watched as all the bishonen of Gundam Wing came out. (Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, Treize, and Zechs...I think that's it) And for no reason at all, Chibi threw in more anime bishies, along with some Final Fantasy ones.

"YEAH! SHAKE IT BABY!"

"Alright...take it OFF!"

"Show us some skin honey!"

The list sweatdropped.

"Wow Chibi...I thought you were the cute and innocent one?"

"Well Chibi ain't wearin her halo tonight....YEAH COME OVER HERE!!!" The list shrugged and cheered along.


~The next day, back to where the fight was suppose to begin~


"It is one of the worlds of I, the evil sexual predator dragon...oi I'm sleepy..." Zechs said.

"Yeah I know. All those damn girls..."

"Guys...can we take a nap?" Duo asked sleepily.

"No...I think...I think we should finish...this..." Wufei fell out on the couch, sound asleep.

"I agree with Wufei..." Quatre fell into Trowa's arms, falling asleep.

"I say we sleep." Trowa said. All gasped.

"Sleep as in real sleep, not the bonking sleep?" Zechs asked. Trowa shook his head.

"I...don't even have the energy to do that."

"Well if it's that serious you boys can sleep." The fic author said. No one responded, they were all already asleep.


~After napping~


"It is one of the worlds of I, the evil sexual predator dragon....ZECHS!"


DUM DUM DUMMMMM!!!


"ACK! Not so loud!" Heero said, covering his ears.


"Sorry." Caro said.


Dum Dum Dummmmm!!!


"There we go." Zechs said with a smile. Heero nodded.

"So what do I do in this place?" Heero asked, looking at one of the whips at taking it. Zechs chuckled over the mic.

"Well I'm glad you asked me that. You have to find the green wrap pipe and get to me. And stop playing with that whip!" Zechs said. Heero sighed and put it down.

"O.K. So after I find this warp pipe then what happens?" Heero asked, picking up one of the dildos.

"You fight me. And...Heero...put the toy down..." Heero cursed under his breath and put the dildo down.

"Anyways...we fight and....uh Heero...the...the vibrator...put it down..."

"...but I wanna take it home so Duo and I could..."

"Heero...you can't steal any of my toys."

"You are very evil!" Heero said, crossing his arms and sitting on the couch.

"I know. So we fight and whoever wins gets a night with Duo. Oh, and you get your key too."

"A night with Duo?" Heero jumped up and reached for the toys.

"NO! No stealing my toys!" Heero sighed and put down the handful of sex toys he had.

"Bastard. So, where is this pipe of yours?"

"HA! Do you think that I'm going to tell you were it is? You are my enemy, and by me telling you I would be helping my enemy, which I do not do, for it is the opposite of me going against my enemy. I will..."

"Found it." Heero said.

"How did you find it that fast?"

"Uh...it's not to hard to find a GREEN pipe in this dark room."

"Damn. My camouflage trick did not work."

"Zechs, most of this room is black. The pipe is green." Heero said. Zechs sighed.

"O.K. so you found it. Well now we get to fight!!!"

"YES! A FIGHT! ALRIGHT!"


Heero rubbed his sore bottom again after he had jumped in the pipe, a tear in his eye.

"THAT HURT!" He stood and looked around this room and gasped at what he saw. It was a bedroom with a huge bed, a bed that was currently occupied by a true sleeping beauty.

"Duo." Heero approached Duo, who had his hair loose but only wore a pair of cat ears and had a cat tail. Heero ran a hand through Duo's long hair, the cute little kitty waking up.

"Meow."

"Awww..." Duo sat up on his knees and licked Heero's nose.

"Duo-kitty happy to see his Hee-chan." Duo said. Heero smiled.

"Me too. So what's with this outfit, not that I mind..."

"Oh, Zechs said that I have to dress up like I am on the pictures on the picture doors when you guys fight." Heero sat on the bed, Duo immediately laying his head on it and curling up into Heero. Heero began to trail a hand down Duo's back, Duo purring in bliss.

"So where is Zechs so we can get this fight over with. I have a kitty to ravish." Heero said, his hand resting on Duo's ass.

"Well you may have time to ravish me now..."

"...no he doesn't, for I have arrived."

"It's the evil sexual predator dragon....ZECHS!"


Dum....*scratch*


"Huh?"

"Oh crap, the CD is scratched up." Caro said. Chibi rushed over to see.

"Oh no not now, not when we have the big fight coming up!" Chibi said.

"What can we do?"

"Hey wait...I got an idea..."


"So I have to do is say 'Dum' three times?" Skylark asked.

"Yep sis, that's all there is to it."


"It's the evil sexual predator dragon...ZECHS!"


Dum Dum Dummmmm!!!


"Wow she's good." Duo said.

"Well yeah, she does squeal a lot. I thought she may come in handy. Now, on with the fight!"


The two warriors stared each other down, each determined to win the contest. Heero looked and Zechs, Zechs looked at Heero.

Sparks flew.

Duo sat on the bed, his breath caught in his throat at the showdown that would occur. He prayed that his Heero won.

More sparks flew.

Heero growled, his eyes focused on his enemy.


*que Wild Wild West showdown music*


An unseen wind blew in the room, hair blowing softly. The stage was set, each opponent ready to draw their weapon.

"Alright Yuy, get ready. Let us begin." Duo stood and walked past the two competitors, holding a sign that read, "Round one."

Both guys drooled.

"Alright Zechs, how shall we do this? A fight with swords, or guns...maybe even our Gundams."

"Well...not exactly..."

"Then what is it? Shall we defend ourselves with our fist?"

"Heero, you are so violent. We are going to name...locations..."

"Locations?To fight in? Like what? Chicago, Minnesota, Philly, Canada...what?"

"Silly boy, locations where one can have sex with Duo." Duo's face lit up.

"YAY!" He grabbed a notebook and a pen.

"Start naming, whoever comes up with the most wins!" Heero sweatdropped, but the match began anyway.


< ~Minutes later~


"Bedroom."

"Bathroom."

"Hallway."

"Kitchen."

"Living Room."

"Dining Room."

"Patio."

"Backyard."

"Front Yard."

"Garage."

"Laundry Room."

"Basement."

"Attic."


~An hour later~


"Fountain."

"Park."

"Tree House."

"Swing Set."

"Playground."

"Mountain."

"Waterfall."

"Swimming Pool."

"Pond."

"Lake."

"Ocean."


~More hours later~


"Bar."

"Restaurant."

"School."

"Gym."

"Hm. They are very creative. O.K. guys one more, and this has to really be creative." Zechs smirked.

"O.K. How about you and me go to a football game and do it during halftime? I'll have you screaming louder then the cheerleaders." Duo blushed.

"That's a good one. Heero, you got one to beat that?"

"Hm. I say the moon."

"The...the moon?"

"Yes, or in outer space. In space, no one can hear you scream. Well except me, cause I'll be the one making you scream, and I'll have you screaming so loud that we will break that little rule." Duo blushed even more and gasped when he realized how turned on he was by that statement.

"Mmm...Heero wins!"

"That's not fair Yuy, people canít breath in outer space!"

"Well we do have Gundams right? They can go in space." Zechs glared at Heero.

"You may have won this round but I will win next time." Zechs disappeared, leaving the two boys alone.

"Have your night with Duo. You will get your key afterwards." Heero and Duo leered at each other. A whole night together...there were so many possibilities!

to be continued

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